The skull was smooth and cold, ivory white. It lay in the palm of my hand, unmoving. I felt his eyes on me and after a moment of silence within the circle, he snatches the small skull from me. Turning quickly, I look at him with angry.1
"Hold on Jet! I can do it," I say reaching out for the skull. The tall black haired man smirks. Grabbing my wrist with his free hand, he pulls me close to him.2
"No, you can't," he hisses, tossing backwards. I fall hard onto the stone floor to watch him. James crouches behind me and tries to help me up. Jet now held his arm out, the skull setting face up in his palm. It glowed slightly and suddenly lifted up into the air. It hovered for nearly three minutes before dropping back into his hand. A flash blinds us, but it soon fades and a menacing laughter echoes about the chamber. I turn to look back at Jet and my jaw drops in horror. He had paled considerably, unnaturally. The arm that had held the skull, now gone, was completely red. In his other hand he held a blade. It was broad and made of alloy steel by the looks. Strange curvy letters spelled out something near the handle, which was black with a crimson binding. He was dressed differently, nothing about him was the same except his flowing raven hair and his laugh. Looking up sharply, his lips curved from his laughter, he looks around him with fiery blue eyes. 3
"This will not hurt ... much," he murmurs in a soft, seductive voice. His blade quickly goes through a man who stood near the center of the circle. His body drops limp and the red arm of Jet glows slightly stronger. He turns his eyes once more about the room. The sounds of weapons being drawn and the murmur of talk invaded the silence. Jet finally swings his eyes in the direction that James and I stood.4
"You two I will save for last," he says with wink. He turns his back on us and pushes through the circles center ring to go on a murder spree. James looks at me with a frightened look and I force him a smile. Suddenly I feel a hand on my arm and James and I are tugged sharply backwards into the shadows. I stumble into the wall. 5
"You two must not die," a harsh voice says. The hand grabs my arm again and I'm dragged off. For many hours it seemed it went on like this. I stumbling in the darkness, bumping my dragger and James. Finally we stopped. Echoes of battle still floated around the tomb. There is a soft crack and a small flame lights up the room. James and I finally see our captors. It was a man of around twenty-five with shoulder length sandy hair and piercing black eyes. He was beautiful, strange to say for a man, and the most beautiful thing about him was his wings. They were dark gray and folded neatly on his back. At his belt hung two long swords in black scabbards. He looked between us.6
"Ah, so this is what they look like these days," he murmurs reaching out to touch my cheek. James knocks the fallen angel's hand away and glares defiantly. I nearly fall back backwards, his touch was so cold and soft. Like the skull that turned my older brother into ... the monster he is now. The fallen's hand drops to his side and he straightens. He holds his hand out to James.7
"Quiet sorry. My name is Dante and I'm hear as I've been assigned as your guardian." He says formally. James eyes his hand suspiciously and when he didn't shake it, I reached out and shook the fallen's hand. James glared at me.8
"Shut up, big brother." I mutter giving him a shove once I let go of Dante's hand. Once he catches his footing, he glares at me some more and I ignore him, turning to face the fallen.9
"So ... where are we going?" I inquire.10
"Well, we've got to get as far away as possible from Jet. Despite being siblings, he'll still kill you if he felt need to," Dante says turning sharply to stride down another corridor. I glance at James and race after the winged one. I hear as my older brother follows.11
The corridor was silent and the darkness was murky despite the glowing light ahead. Dante had long since extinguished the fire he had held. The echoes of battle had stopped. I worried that all the people I knew and grew up with were dead by the hands of my oldest brother. Suddenly Dante stopped and I ran into him, causing James to run into me. The shadow of his head turns this way and that before he lets out a short breath and continues us onward. I wondered what he could possibly hear. The silence here was overwhelming. The small prick of light in the distance grew steadily larger as we hurried towards it. Soon we were out in open air. Grassy plains surrounded us and I wonder where we were. There must be lots of different ways into the crypt, because I remember coming in through the sewage of the city Elute. Finally Dante stopped. He turned to face my brother and I. I leaned up against the stone of the cave jutting out of the ground. James was doubled over, taking in deep breaths. 12
"We’ll go a little bit further and then perhaps take a rest," he says turning to gaze out into the distance. I tried to see what he did, but all my eyes could take in was a vast expanse of green. Scratching my eyebrow, I glance at James.13
"I don’t think he’s going to make it." Dante turns to look at James and frowns. The fallen walks towards my brother, but he puts his hands out to bring Dante to a halt.14
"I’m fine." He growls, straightening. Rolling my eyes, I turn to once more to squint into the distance. Nothing could be seen. Biting my lip, I wonder what this fallen’s true intentions were. I didn’t know people of lower rank were sent guardians. I just thought it was the princes and princesses. We weren’t, as far as I know. Perhaps hundreds of years ago our family was royalty, but what does that matter? Dante continues to walk and James pushes past me to follow with his head held high. Pushing off the cave I follow after. I stop a moment though to look back at the cave. What had happened to my brother? He… Jet. Squeezing my eyes shut a moment; I turn quickly to chase after the two. As we walked alone silently, the grass got taller and taller until by the time I could see the darkness of a forest it was up to my hips. We waded through the stuff and James kept complaining because today he had decided to wear pants that cut off at the knees. Dante let out a sigh. Drawing one of his swords, he cuts down a patch of the tall grass and turns to look at us.15
"We’ll rest here for a while," he says sheathing the sword and falling to a cross-legged sit. James glances about for taking a seat in the further spot away from Dante. I plop down between them and fall backwards to let out a sigh. The sky was clear blue, not a cloud in sight, which in itself was strange-it normally rained a lot in the plains. Maybe we’re in some plains that are different then most of the ones in Dowsti… maybe we’re not even in Dowsti anymore! I look towards Dante.16
"Where are we?" The fallen opens his eyes to stare at me.17
"I can’t figure out… I can normally sense my exact location, but I just don’t feel it," he says scratching his scalp. "I do know though that Jet… he’s very far from here. I can hardly sense him at all." I blink thinking of my brother. Biting my lip once more, I turn my head to stare out into the grass. There was a slight breeze and it swayed the grass. Not only was my oldest brother turned into some dark being, but also my other brother and I were lost in the middle of nowhere with a fallen. How could I trust him to guide us and protect us, like a true guardian should, if the Goddess couldn’t even trust him in Her heaven? Shaking my head slightly, I press my face into my hands and let out a sigh. Such a dilemma. 18
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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i know. i was going to edit it but i didn't have time. i plan on coming back. somethings you commented on will make sense after i get the rest of it typed out. what did you think of the key? i started it but got bored and quit.
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Hmm... First let me say, try sticking to one verb tense. You switched back and forth from presant to past through the entire story... kinda distracted me so I had to reread a few parts. (MY GRAMMER SENSE IS TINGLING!) Also, I hope you continue this
You should try to explain the concept of the "fallen" and the goddess you created, you touched on some things like "guardians" but then you left the poor little reader hanging
Also, try to make your characters...i donno, more REAL. I know it is kind of fantasy with demons and such but the people have to be realistic. When a hand reaches out from the darkness and grabs you, you don't just GO, you resist and like SCREAM. Your lead character didn't seem at all real to me, and she didn't seem to have real thoughts or feelings...
You can do better Jesy *shakes fist*
