A Light in the Dark

1

That was the day she died.2

I saw it coming in the cards of my tarot reading; when the man drew the death card.3

At that moment, I got a chill up my spine; something bad was about to happen.4

The man said, “A close relative of yours will die soon.  Does anyone in your family have heart problems?”5

*Mother!!!!!  Oh no!!!*  She thought as she ran as fast as she could to her house, hoping she would make it in time.  Being on the track team sure helped, but she wasn’t fast enough.6

Every step she took seemed to last an eternity, like the slow, steady swing of her necklace.7

Time seemed to slow with each swing that flashed through her mind.  8

*I’ve got to make it in time!  I’ve got to!  Hold on mother!  I’m almost there.*9

She swung open the door and searched frantically for her mother.  She ran into her mother’s bedroom only to find her lying motionless on her bed.  10

*No!  I’m too late.*  She thought in despair.  She ran over to check her pulse; her heart had stopped beating.11

Tears welled up in her eyes, and she cried by her mom’s side for the rest of the night.12

* * *13

It had been a month since her mother’s death, and she continued to visit her grave every Sunday.14

It had been a month of grief, shock, despair, guilt, and regret.15

*Mother, I miss you so much.  I wish you were here.*  She thought as she sat next to her grave.16

She placed a bouquet of flowers on her grave, and continued to sit there in silence.17

She hated herself for not being there with her mother before she died.  Maybe she could have prevented it.  Or maybe not; the doctors said she suffered from a heart attack.  The ambulance wouldn’t have arrived there in time to save her.18

*Mother, please forgive me; I was selfish.  I could have spent time with you in your final moments instead of going out with my friends.  I promise I’ll look after my brother, and take good care of him.  I hope you’re happy where you are now because you weren’t happy here when you were suffering from heart problems.  Please help us through this; guide me through my life.  Watch over us.  I love you with my entire heart mom.  Thank you for being the best mother a girl could have.*19

She opened her eyes, and saw Amano coming toward her in the distance.20

“I came by to pay respects to your mother.”  He placed a bouquet of flowers on her grave.21

“Thank you.  That is very kind of you, Amano.”22

Amano sat next to her and stared at the grave.  “You know, it’s not as bad as you think, Hitomi.”23

“What do you mean?”24

“Think of it in a positive way.  She’s no longer suffering, and she will always be with you.”  Amano reassured her.25

“You’re right.  I miss her so much though.  If only I could see her one more time.”  Hitomi replied.26

“Look Hitomi!  Your necklace.”  Amano’s eyes were wide as he watched her necklace light up and rotate in a circle.27

Hitomi concentrated, and an image of her mother popped into her head.  The necklace pointed straight ahead of her.  Hitomi’s eyes lit up as she saw her mother standing before her with a smile on her face.28

~End29

~Note: * means the character's thoughts and *** means time has passed~30

Author notes

I decided to post this fanfiction on here because I know it would get more reviews than it does on mediaminer.org, and I thought you'd like to see a story from me for once.
I hope you enjoyed it. o^_^o I don't plan on adding any more to it since it was supposed to be a one-shot.
Any suggestions, comments, or questions are welcome. o^_^o
I'll be posting all of my fanfictions here from now on.

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Comments


  • zt
    June 28, 2005
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    This was an interesting story. You had some good descriptions and we could get involved with the characters through your words. I thought that the form was a bit choppy--much of the first part was not in paragraph form. The only other thing I was puzzled by was you start in first person (I) and switch to third (she). Otherwise, it flowed well though could have been a bit more detailed. Seeing as it is labeled a fanfic, it might have helped to state the millieu as I didn't recognize the characters. You introduced Amano like we were supposed to know him.

  • Lyrical Soul
    January 8, 2005
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    This is a great fantasy story. You wrote this well. I could envision it all, especially when the mother appeared and the necklace was spinning and standing out. Great job.

    ~Lyrical

  • coolmommy
    December 29, 2004
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    I loved this. i coudl picture this on anime unleashed!. i really coudl this could be a real great anime. it reminds me o fthat anime i saw once on anime unleashed. i forgot what it was called but it was about thsi girl who had a computer adn she coudl uplink into it and all this weird stuff, but yoru girl, she reminded me of her..thast a good thing. i have no complaints fo rthis, well done.