When Kahlan woke up, she knew something was different. There was an odd, rhythmic motion going on. She slowly opened her eyes and gasped, too afraid to scream. She was thousands of feet in the air.1
She looked up at the thing holding her. It had a body completely coated in metal. Even its wings had a thick layer of steel on them. 2
Was this?...No, she decided. This simply could not be the boy that had tried to save her. It was too big and muscular and it had wings. 3
Wings which were, as she had just realized, coated in blood, as were the clawed hands he held her with. 4
She took all this information in quickly, taking mere seconds. So fast, in fact, that the creature holding her was only just now realizing she was awake.5
It stared down at her in its arms. "Are you okay?"6
She was stunned. It sounded just like the boy that had tried to save her, and had possibly succeeded. 7
"Y-y-yes, I...I think so," she stammered, too afraid of the height, and still too stunned that this could be the boy from before to speak right.8
He curved at an angle that made her stomach turn over, landing on a roof and setting her down gently against a wall. "I can't carry you anymore. We should be able to get down from here though."9
He slowly closed his eyes and folded his wings, and in a flash of light became the boy that, apparently, had saved her earlier. Only now he was caked in blood. 10
Kahlan stared at him in a mixture of awe and fear, and decided to ask what worried her most right now. "How much of that blood is yours?" 11
The boy glanced at her and quickly looked away. "Only the stuff on my back where my wings ripped out." 12
"Are you still bleeding bad?"13
"Nothing I cant handle." He glanced at her and blushed bright red, looking away quickly.14
She looked down and realized her shirt had been ripped when the men attacked her. She quickly pulled it to cover her bra.15
"Do you uh... want my shirt?" he asked tentatively.16
Now it was Kahlans turn to blush vibrantly. "If you don't mind"17
He quickly pulled it off. "Not at all, just don't mind the blood."18
They left the roof like that. Him shirtless and her wearing his shirt, helping each other climb down the fire escape.19
Continued in The Soul Holders Ch.320
The Shadow Hunting Sins21
SHADOWHUNTSIN6022
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Comments
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Ok, I'm skipping the typos and stuff, but again I just wanted to let you know that using all five senses would be great here. Was it cold while she was flying? Was his body hot or cold? Because of the metal your readers would need to know.
What was she hearing? Was there a smell? Etc...
Keep it up, this is really good.
Brooke

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You have a good imagination and your story ideas are very, very interesting. Sooooo interesting.....
Nawww, cute in a weird way ^^" Good work; I'm off to the next post. -
This is good, but there are a couple of confusing points in the writing. I want to read more. ^_^ Please add to it soon Blaize.
Eci


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Unfinished but Good
I LIKE IT! PLEASE WRITE MORRREEE!





