(this is a tribute to a Twilight couple that people seldom ever write about.)1
He made her heart stop and her breath hitch with just a simple turn of the head. He didn’t have to be the star of the football team or a member of the math club; all he had to do was exist. Knowing he was in the same room as her was just enough to satisfy her craving to be near him. So what if he barely knew she existed? She was all too aware of his presence and that was good enough for her.2
Unbeknownst to the object of her undying affection, thoughts of him took up most of her spare time. His presence, as oblivious as could be, was in her dreams and fantasies. She was sure her grade in math had gone down since she’d seen him. It was just so difficult to concentrate on math when the man of your dreams was sitting merely a seat away from you. Oh how she longed for him to notice her.3
Kim was not a complainer, though, and was happy with the hour a day she got to spend near him. When he was near, the skies seemed to clear and the birds seemed to sing. She knew it was cheesy, but she just couldn’t help it; he created feelings within her so strong that no other words could accurately describe. In her eyes, Jared was the most amazing human being to ever walk the Earth.4
She knew it was sad, but she kept track of every single one of the little conversation they had here and there. While they only consisted of borrowing paper, she still cherished the memories. Each filled up a dated and detailed entry in her diary. Kim had long ago realized it was childish, but sometimes she put his last name behind her own and wondered what it would be like were they to ever marry. She was sure she would be mortified if anyone was to find out, but as long as no one knew, it could be her little fantasy. More than anything, she longed for the day that he would notice her.5
Even though Kim was a pretty girl, Jared just never seemed to notice. There had been days she’d dressed extra nice and even put on some make-up in hopes of catching his oblivious eye. Her attempts were all in vain as he never seemed to notice the secret admirer who loved from afar. She had since given up those extra attempts and had settled for wishing that he would see the girl next to him that loved him so.6
Jared was never the one to blame; she was positive that it was something she was doing wrong. The love-struck girl was sure that she just wasn’t good enough for such a wonderful person. While their conversations had been few and their words limited, Kim was convinced that the boy was gentle and caring, just as she imagined him. It was impossible for someone with a smile like his to not.7
His smile. Oh how she adored that smile. His smile could brighten up the dullest day; bring sunshine to the grayest skies, and spread laughter and joy to the most depressing of places. Some would say she was obsessed, but Kim considered it love, true love. What was love if you didn’t adore everything about the other person? It was so superficial to only take in the whole picture. She was sure love meant admiring every fine, beautiful detail. She had memorized the way his face looked when he was laughing. It was a sight that never failed to bring the smile to her face.8
The day Jared asked her out was the day her beautiful fantasy had become a stunning reality. It was as if someone had answered her prayers and taken pity on her poor, love-sick soul. The day he asked was a day that seemed to be sent from the heavens. If ever a day could be completely and utterly perfect, it was that day. Her candle in the dark had finally noticed her.9
Finding out his secret hadn’t bothered her in the slightest. He was still the boy with the heaven-sent smile that made her glow. Jared loved her and that was all that mattered. As far as Kim was concerned, her life was perfect.
Author notes
lolt.
A contest entry
- Pictures and Words Tell a Story by Iridescent Love.
700 points, ended April 28, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Passion by HoneyAngel.
600 points, ended April 16, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 3 options. by aloneallalong.
230 points, ended April 16, 2008, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options. by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended April 25, 2008, 18 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - True Teenage Love by bakermiddle.
170 points, ended April 27, 2008, 11 entries
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350 points, ended April 27, 2008, 8 entries
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600 points, ended May 6, 2008, 26 entries
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190 points, ended June 13, 2008, 17 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Simple? Well, maybe not. by Tsubasa.
1200 points, ended June 24, 2008, 8 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Love at First Twilight by Memoirs of a Girl.
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Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Almost Anything Twilight Contest! (the story doesnt have to be about twilight) by Clary--Selene--Tayy.
575 points, ended February 14, 13 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - I want Twilight! by Rozea.
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• next story in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Great Read!^^
AH! Yay JaredXKim. This coupling really isn't used very much since it's not all that popularlly mentioned within the books, but I still loved reading this, very cute. I love Kim's personality, it's very young-love like, but with the perks of knowing that since Jared imprinted upon her, it's a love that gets to last as long as they do.^^ I loved it. Well written, as well, very well described, good grammar, spelling, etc. I enjoyed reading this. -
I love Kims strong persistance and determination to get what she wants. This was really well written, although I don't see how it fits into the twilight saga. Maybe you can tell me? Thanks for entering!
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Kim was the girl Jared, one of the werewolves in Sam's pack, imprinted on. It's in one of the first chapters in Eclipse when Jacob and Bella hang out after school. Their story was told when he told Bella about imprinting.
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thanks for your entry!
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Sparkling
I love the her desperation and persistance to get his attention. This was very well written. I love Jared and Kim, so that made this all the more exciting. Werewolves have the most fun. Th way they imprint fascinates me. THANKS FOR READING THE RULES AND FOLLOWING THEM. I wish you the best of luck in the contest which will be judged soon, I hope. I've been in and out of the hospital and on vacation in between. Sorry for the wait. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Still love this! Great job!
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I know Twilight, and this made me smile. It was simple, well-written, and just plain good. I really enjoyed it. I guess I would have liked more of a story, but this was fine, too. I liked seeing through Kim's perspective which, you're right, isn't done often (if at all). I really loved the paragraph about his smile. You wrote that beautifully.
All in all, this piece made me feel good inside.
Thanks for writing it. And for entering the contest. Hope your days are bright!
Tsubasa
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How...adorably fantastic. It really made me want to love somebody,.
Really good job, you got her passion right on target I believe. Good luck!
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Aw, this was really cute. It's nice that you wrote about a couple not often written about. Congratz on your h.m. and silver!
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Even thought usually i despise fanfic, it was pretty good. but even though its a fanfic and anyone who read the series would know exactly who they are, I think you should still explain the details that are not obvious to the people who havenever even heard of the book. Not enouh details, waaay no enough details. At one moment he doesn't even know she exists, and the next one, he asks her out and tells her his secret... Where did that come from? And like I said before, you have to assume ppl who read your story have never seen twilight before in their lives, so you have to explain what the secret was and why would that secret be even important. But you created the right mood, and made it really sweet, giving hope to those with secret loves. Good job
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I guess I should add some details in my author's notes.
1. I'm not going to include the secret because I don't want to spoil the second and thrid books.
2. They don't actually have a big part in the series. In 3 books and over 600 pages in the third book, as a couple, they're mentioned in about 4 pages in Eclipse. I actually created their little history in this fanfic. Mostly what's described is what she looks like and how they act around each other. Oh, and she was in his math class.
3. The whole thing where he suddenly notices her is normal for the universe. It's called imprinting and it's true love at first sight, only stronger.
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heyy, i appreciate you entering, but the number 1 rule lists no fanfics. twighlight is my best friends fav book, so no hard feelings. i just dont want fanfics
again, thanks for entering
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The first sentence of the last paragraph doesn't make sense to me. It's a fragment. Other than that, you did very well with this piece. Good work. I couldn't find any spelling errors or any other grammatical errors. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
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Im not a fan of fan fiction.
Though this was written seemingly well
good luck
thank you for entering
Blair
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I’m not familiar with the Twilight series at all, but I still enjoyed this. It started off nicely and I really liked the way you described Kim’s obsession with Jared. Good job.
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Wonderful as usual.
You perfectly kept to the characters (though they are seldom written about so the creative juices could flow). I love your stories! -
but in the twilight books, kim was described as obsessive. To tone it down would be to bring Kim out of character.
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The story was descriptive and well written but Kim is too much into Jared that it's almost scary. Those types of people become stalkers and are borderline psychos and I am sure there are men and women out there like your love striken character. If the love was toned down a little then the love between the two of them would be great. Thanks for entering and good luck. Welcome to Storywrite!
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It was very well written. The entire story was wonderful, aswell. But, it has nothing to do with the contest [Love Confession]. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to DQ you. The good news, however, is that you may enter as many times as you like. Good luck next time!
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What series is this from? It sounds like it would be very interesting and I love the way you described how obsessed she was.
I know how that goes too. I'm obsessed with someone and it's all consuming, obviously not as much as imprinting but yes.
Well good luck in the contest.
Angel
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This was really well written, with only a couple of spelling mistakes.
Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
Brooke
greeter -
Love it!
My darling, you've turned out yet another great story. It's sooo adorable! -
Good Story
I'm not familiar with Twilight. She is completely obsessed with Jared. Wouldn't dating a werewolf be kind of dangerous?
Thanks for entering the new member contest. I hope you are enjoying Storywrite.
Andy
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I loved this! Nobody ever thinks to write about Jared and Kim, and you did an amazing job with it. Keep up the great writing!
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you are a talented writer, and I enjoyed the read.
Labeled as fan fiction. I’m afraid I don’t recognize the series or story this pertains to. But you are a talented writer, and I enjoyed the read.
You have interesting characters, colorful descriptions and the plot is easy to follow. The narrator speaks clearly. The hook at the end made me worry about the future of this young lady.
It will need some editing, the curse of even the most successful writers,
You have to watch carefully when proofing for things like 'Knowing he was the (in) same room or When he was near, the skies seemed to clear and the birds seefmed (seemed) to sing.'
Just a suggestion but romance of any kind benefits from some scenes of activity and dialogue. It’s sometimes easier for the reader to empathize with characters when their actions are being showed rather than told.
Geri
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.
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Well I'll admit that I'm not familiar with Twilight (is it a book or a show or what? *laughs* I'm so uninformed...). This is really well-written even on its own, though, and I don't feel like I need to know anything about Twilight to understand the emotion you've put into this piece. So much admiration - she is certainly very smitten! The werewolf threw me for a loop, but I'm going to assume that's a Twilight detail. *laughs* You have a good voice for writing - I hope you write much more! Welcome to Storywrite!
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