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I walked out my door onto the snow-filled porch. I was sweating, draped in my big coat. The wind blew the draft and the air was freezing. It was a beautiful day. The snow was piling evenly across my front yard. It looked like a scene from a movie. When I got to my car, the door was stuck. I had to give a very sudden jerk to get it open. I was on my way to meet James. A few weeks ago we had met, never thinking we would go on a date. I did give him my number, but over the past few weeks, I kept wondering why it took him so long to call me. As I was driving along, cold water was dripping from my hair to where the snow had melted. It gave me a warm, soothing feeling. Driving in my car was the highlight of my winter. It was always toasty. Looking outside, I could see the freezing people walking along the side walks. 2
I walked into the cafe where we were to meet. There were Christmas decorations everywhere. There was only a week until Christmas. I haven't had a Christmas to share with anyone since one of my few first Christmas experiences. This year, I hoped desperately that this Christmas would be different. I wanted to be pampered with presents from my love and he in return. But it was going to be highly doubtful. This was my first date in such a long time, and if we don't end up hitting it off, it's quite unlikely that we'll be getting married in a single week.3
I sat there waiting for him. When he walked in, the breeze hit me from the door. It gave me chills that went up my spine. He was so gorgeous. Why was I so lucky to have a date with him? His long blond hair. His beautiful blue eyes. The way he walked in made me float to the heavens above. His stride was like a prince's stride, long and gracious... but tough.4
"Hey, sorry to keep you waiting, Rachel. It is like a blizzard outside!"5
"I know! But snow is my favorite thing in the world. I'm a sucker for a white snowy Christmas!" I said.6
He smiled. He had the cutest smile! I just kept staring at it.7
"So, how are you doing?" I said to break an awkward silence. I didn't know what to talk about. First dates always seemed so weird.8
"I'm fine," he said. "It took me forever to get here though. I'm sorry if you had to wait for me."9
"Oh no, you walked in only a few minutes after I got here." Glancing at the table behind him, I peered at a couple that was kissing. I looked around the room. There were many other couples kissing too. Christmas time was always hard for me. I had to see all those couples together, and well, with me being by myself, it was so difficult. 10
"What do you like to do?" he asked. He was trying to start a conversation.11
"I like to um... I like to watch romantic movies, swim, and go to work!" How much more dumb could my answer have been? Call the doctor quick! I'm officially a moron... My interests were not original at all.12
"What do you like to do?" I quickly responded. Maybe I could make 13
him forget my stupid reply.14
"I like to do a little bit of everything," he said. That was the most mysterious answer. It was very intriguing though. This made me want to know more about him.15
We sat in the cafe and we talked for at least another hour. I was very shy and timid when he first got there. But that hour went by so quickly, and he helped me open up and be more comfortable with him. We talked as if we had known each other for a very long time. We decided to go to the theatre where a few plays were being performed. 16
"What would you like to see? They are currently showing 'A Beautiful Christmas.' I think that it's a musical."17
"Sure, let's go see it."18
We walked into the dark room. It was huge! There were so many seats, and only a few people were in there. We had a wide selection, but we decided to choose seats in the back row. 19
"It's so dark and quaint in here," I added as we were sitting down.20
"Yes, it is," he added. "It's a very beautiful theatre though... don't you think?" He sounded so dreamy. Leaning over and kissing him would satisfy my urge, but I couldn't do that.21
The play was beginning. It started out with a few songs, and was followed by some unoriginal dialog. It was becoming so very boring. I was about ready to pass out. My eyes started to close. As my head turned to the side so I could use the seat as a pillow, the most unbelievable thing happened. He leaned over and kissed me! His kiss was small but so loving and sweet. 22
We stared into each others eyes. Those big, beautiful eyes were just so inspiring. My head leaned forward, and then I kissed him back. He took my hand and entwined it into his. We watched the rest of the play like this. I was not thinking about the play at all though. He was not either. By the time we had left the theatre, it was completely dark. We travelled home in our separate cars, but he told me he would meet me at my house. 23
When he got to my home, he came to my car and opened the front door for me. I felt like a princess entering a royal ball. 24
We walked into the door frame holding hands.25
"Oh, look!" he shouted over the snow. "We are under a mistletoe!" I suddenly became so glad that I had hung that up there. It turned out to be handy.26
"Oh yes, that silly thing! I hung that up there for decor..." I tried to joke but I couldn't finish my sentence. He was so dreamy. He smiled and puckered up his lips. His face enclosed towards mine. He kissed me so hard and so fast. It was so romantic! It was the perfect seen for a movie. We were under a mistletoe, it was slightly snowing, and it was dark. It was so perfect I could have dropped dead in ecstasy. The kiss was so pleasant, too. After the kiss had ended, oh the wonderful kiss, we gleamed into each others eyes.27
"Should I have done that?" He asked it like we were both teenagers, sneaking around from our parents.28
"I enjoyed it... a very smart move." We both laughed and cuddled close. It was a dream come true for me. My dream was to always have someone to spend Christmas with. This year, I did have someone to spend it with. There was someone to actually love me, and for me to love back. This was my best Christmas ever. And trust me, I don't think I was alone with that feeling. The feeling was in his eyes too.29
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
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This was interesting to read. Now I have an idea of what I could do if I go on a date! lol And I am only thirteen! This made the top 3 in the contest just so you know. I am debating on who I should give my points to!
You won a trophy though, I just don't know which one yet! lol
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Loved reading the story again, it gets better each time I read it! Thanks for entering
Love,
Katy
~*Liquidlullaby*~ -
very cute, love is such a beautiful thing to find! And when an author can capture the essence of such emotions in a story, its truly amazing! Thank you for entering!
Love,
Katy
~*LiquidLullaby*~ -
NEAT! Stories about winter are awesome.
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thank you so much!!!
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Aww, great story, thanks for entering it
So romantic and excellently written
All the best,
Merry Christmas,
Pozo
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Dont Touch It!!!!
Well you kept my attention through out the hole poem. Wonderful! Makes me want to grab my husband and let him know just how much I love him. Thank you for sparking that in me. ~~Shannon~~ -
This sounds like a cute christmas memory. great job on describing the emotions the memory left you with.
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very good
This was a compelling story.. never boring or dull.. and also, every girl's dream :-)... I liked the consistent use of adjectives to set the mood - and by this I mean references to royalty or fantasies (i.e. "dreamy", floating to the heavens, etc.). My only criticism would be that some of the sentences seem awkwardly arranged, but it's probably just my taste :-). Overall, great write. Keep it up. -
great narration
Oh, that was a very interesting, true story of a wintry day and her first date with a man whom she was supposed to marry thereafter but I should say that despite the freeze and breeze,she was indeed lucky to find herman and the Christmas play at the theatre made it an ideal place for a SUDDEN, STEALTHY KISS from her would-be that made the greatest wonderful difference to both and they decided to be man and wife thereafter!Well narrated and entertaining throughout but appeared a bit long for the average reader on the net!A Kiss melted the ice on a wintery day! -
Much better.
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keep working
This is sweet. I like the story line but I think you have some awkward phrases in there.Also I was confused about how she knew him in the first place, I had to go back and say wait, this is their first date? I think you have a lot of potential here and your story is very sweet but you need some help with a how to express yourself. for example:"He took my hand and entwined it into his." this is kind of awkward. entwined is a great word but you don't take someones hand and entwine it, its more a descriptive word. another place is here: "cold water was dripping from my hair to where the snow had melted." I think you mean that the snow dripped into a puddle but it's a little awkward. One more thing is that you change tenses alot.
I hope you don't take this all the wrong way, it really is a lovely story it just needs a little editing.~shadow~ -
I liked it, it held my interest though the whole thing, keep it up, tell me if u add to it or write a part 2.
-_-Amber-_- -
This is just absolutely beautiful. It gave me a warm feeling reading it. It reminds me of something that happened in my life a long time ago and it was nice to have a reason to think back on something pleasant. I hope this was a true story. It would be delightful to think of something special happening for two people on a special day. Congratulations on witing a wonderful story with such a lovely ending.
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I got someone to help me edit my story. I would like to hear your opinion as to whether or not the grammar is better. Thanx a bunch, Rachal
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I got someone to help me edit my story. I would like to hear your opinion as to whether or not the grammar is better. Thanx, Rachal
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very nice
Yay, good story! It was so cute and sweet. I especially liked the cute ending, it made me feel warm inside hehe I do agree with Youlineverknow ;however, the story had some grammar/spelling mistakes some dealing with the tense of the story, and it took away from the story a bit....but all in all it's a great, romantic write. Merry Christmas! -
NEAT
I liked how this "flowed" (if a story can indeed flow). It was an easy read, yet written intelligently enough to be taken seriously. Good story. -
aww this is so cute! it is fun to sneek stuff behind parents backs! they can be so oblivious some times lol
great write!
-tomie- -
merry christmas
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It's all gravy, baby.
It's good. It's the best. The spelling errors and what not detract from the story and it'd be better with different sentence sturctures. I like your style, though. Good stuff. -
First off, GRRRRRR. I was going to join this contest, but now I won't so you can win
... I hope you do because this story is awesome. I read it thinking about you... "I like to do a little bit of everything" - lol you and the thats so raven look. Haha. I enjoyed this alot. I hope you win!
Edited on Dec 23, 8:51 p.m. because 'typo'. -
Loved it
omg this is the sweetest thing ever, i love this and its the perfect Christmas story since i just started going out and its so true!!! Really good read.
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