Sewn Together

HE was the first piece to turn black and rot. HE was the first to make me break, twist, and bleed in ways I never thought possible. It was HIS fault not mine. I'm not perfect, but the faults that fall into the wind were not mine. Some people say that the first piece of heart you give out is always the biggest and if thats true then I must have given him all but one piece. I know I still have a piece of my own heart, but I feel it has been frayed and is turning gray. He misused everything that love stood for; betrayed every way that love can be betrayed. I can't help but wonder why I ever loved him anyway. He was too young and I was even younger. How could a love like that last? God, sometimes I just want to SCREAM when I think about him! Why do I still think about him? Its been a while since his last grand act of misery and we both found other people...not that my last relationship really worked. I'll get into that one later because for right now I can't even see straight. I'm so mad at him! How dare he come back begging for forgiveness after all he's done?!? The times he made me cry, all the times he called me hideous and worthless, and the way he used me! Not to mention his anger...I despise anger. It makes people into what they shouldn't be. The way he pulled my hair when he was mad, the way he would pin me to the ground then slap me around, the way I had to learn to defend myself with a sword. It was his anger that lead to my original downfall. I'm a contradiction I know. I'm so mad at him for all he's done and yet I detest anger. Stories that were never told and should never be told to anybody....maybe that's why I'm writing it. I suppose it doesn't make much of a difference though. Its not like anybody will read this or know who I am. I'll even change around the hiding spots so nobody ever finds this. 1

-Bitter (a nickname my friends gave me so I'll just use that)2

November 2, 20053