[*NOTE* ' quotations mean Julia is talking into her1
captain's log. " quotations mean the characters are2
talking to each other. Therefore there will be3
switches as to first person and second.]4
January 1, 3000. 12:00 A.M.5
' Happy New Year! At least that is what would've been shouted into the6
skies a few years ago. By now, it is just another year; another sign7
of a giant burden to be dealt with. My name is Julia Greystar, captain 8
of the ship Revelation. My crew and I are the only human beings who have9
survived the apocalypse many years ago. Inside the wrecks that were10
left behind there are many mutations and new lifeforms. Although we11
have survived, the new lifeforms are changing the planet as we speak.12
Soon enough the Earth will not be enough for us. Unfortunately, oxygen13
is slowly being depleted and replaced by toxins. These toxins are being14
excreted from one of the newer lifeforms. I call it the Destroyer of15
Atomic Number 8, Dan8 for short. The whole planet may have almost been16
completely destroyed, but my creativity did not go along with it.17
Anyway, my crew consists of ten..beings. A few did get mutated but18
stayed human on the inside. Only three of us are still completely19
human, as far as we know. The rest gained extra limbs or grew alien skin20
colors, not the typical whites browns and blacks either. I am thirty-nine21
years old today and not getting any younger, this is why we're all 22
going to go on a big hunt today. This hunt will last weeks, months even23
if the weather goes haywire on us all over again.'24
January 1, 3000. 9:45 A.M.25
' It's already been a couple of hours since we began the hunt.26
We've only encountered about two to three unworldly beings that seemed27
to pose at least a little threat. Everything was going smoothly,28
too smoothly if you ask me. That basically brings me to where we29
are right at the moment-'30
"CAPTAIN! THE SHIP'S ENGINE IS FAILING!" ,yelled a raspy and fluid voice.31
' Ah yes that was Harold, one of the mutated crew members. '32
"CARLINA!! Please take care of the situation! I am33
a bit busy at the moment", Julia replied.34
'Carlina was one of the human crew members, reliable and yet35
equally clumsy. Carlina let the engine die of course, so I am36
forced to let the ship down myself. When the ship touched down 37
to the ground I started to get the feeling that 38
someone is watching me. I turned around only to see Rowena39
(another mutated crew member) staring at me with all40
four of her eyes. We all exited the ship and looked around at our41
new surroundings. The ground was purple and contained some blue42
fluid, this whole area looked like a disease. Harold silently43
threw up into the ground, he never has had a strong stomach.44
I spotted the first of the Dan8's and shot it with my laser gun.45
It just looked down at the hole in its chest and roared angrily.46
Toxins began to secrete into the air, I grabbed a gas mask and47
kept shooting at it. Its cry was terrifying and aggravating,48
so I had to cover my ears as well. Something told me this49
wasn't going to be as easy as I'd hoped.'50
January 3, 3000. 2 A.M.51
' It has been hours since we last saw one Dan8. It's once again52
going far too smoothly, something is bound to happen. Carlina53
gasped and tripped over a red root. Cursing at herself she54
apologized for being so "useless". Sigh sometimes this crew55
really does make me wonder how they survived the--"*BOOM'56
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???", Julia yelled.57
'I looked all over the place to find the source, but nothing appeared58
in the green skies or the purple ground. Hundreds..no59
THOUSANDS of Dan8's came charging at us. We blindly began60
shooting, but to no avail, they just kept coming and coming.61
The air was so intoxicated that not even the gas masks could 62
keep us from a fate worse than death. I watched in horror as 63
one by one my crew members began to perish inside the swarm64
of Dan8s. I didn't have much time so I threw an oxygen bomb at them.65
The blast will surely knock me off my feet, and possibly into a66
dangerous position. But if my studies were correct, the Dan8s 67
survived on the toxins they added into the air. Oxygen should 68
wipe them clean off the planet! 5..4..3..2..1,'69
BOOM!70
'Just like I thought the oxygen bomb did wipe them away, well71
at least a good chunk. There is still an angry swarm of them coming72
at me..this just may be my end. Captain's log January 3, 3000 3:45 A.M73
,the end of humanity.'74
"Greggsd 999 ddsfdsd kkeekdf??" 75
"Xxcclaad!" 76
Julia opens her eyes and realizes she's in a room surrounded by purple and blue..things.77
She knows she is dying but watched in wonder as they poked and prodded78
her captain's log. Speaking in a tongue she didn't know, and probably79
will never know. Then one of them looked at her with big blackening eyes80
and hissed. It began to speak!81
"Welcome to our home human. We hope you don't mind being chained to this82
table, but we need to know you are no threat. I bet you're wondering 83
how I can speak your simple language," 84
Julia nodded. 85
"I simply have a translator, very useful technology.86
Now would you be so kind as to tell us how to work this little87
gadget of yours? We're checking for any weapons you may have on you."88
Julia then said, "Just push the red button, it'll begin playing my89
recordings of what I've experienced in the past few years. But what90
is important is what has happened in the past few days. I am dying91
from being toxicated by Dan8s as I call them, and if you don't help92
me I'll-". 93
The alien opened its eyes wider and wider and let out94
a shriek. 95
"SHE HAS THREATENED ME, SHE SHALL DIE!".96
Before another word could be spoken, Julia was there on the97
table, breathless, motionless..dead. The last thing she could 98
hear was a booming noise from the outside.99
"angry swarm of -fssst- coming at me..this just100
may be my end. Captain's log January 3, 3000 3:45 A.M., the101
end of humanity -fssst-."102
"We have played this log over and over again,103
and still we cannot find the source of all this trouble. I'm sorry104
sire but this recording is severely damaged.", said a young looking105
alien.106
A powerful looking alien nodded in agreement and pointed at a glass bottle.107
"Inside of this bottle contains a toxin one of our scientists has108
discovered on Earth. I am assuming it has a little importance as109
to the current situation. Earth used to be full of the atomic number 8,110
oxygen. These toxins seem to destroy oxygen and stay in place.111
As far as the researchers have found out there is no possible way112
to destroy it! Earth will be doomed to only be inhabited by those who113
can breathe with this toxin. Go to the scientists and ask them if114
they have had any breakthroughs yet. I am slowly losing my patience."115
A slightly confused looking young alien ran out of the room116
immediately. The royal alien was left alone to think for himself.117
He quietly thought out loud, 118
"Is this planet even worth the trouble?119
Maybe I should merely destroy it if it is doomed to be full of toxins,120
and there supposedly isn't any humans left. I may be president of121
universal peace, but I think this planet is just an eye sore.122
If our situation doesn't improve in three weeks, this planet123
will be destroyed. Mark my words."124
Suddenly the captain's log began to play by itself, as if by magic.125
"-fsssst- I spotted the first of the Dan8's and shot it with my laser gun.-fsssst-126
It just looked down at the hole in its chest and roared -fsssst-.Toxins127
began to secrete into the air-fsssst-"128
"Ah..Dan8s. This sure helps, maybe there is hope for the planet129
and whatever disgusting creatures survived."130
The young alien ran into the room with a worried look on his face,131
he seemed to even sport an expression of guilt.132
"Sire..I accidentally broke the tank of toxins you collected..133
and we have exactly..3 seconds to get out before-" 134
BOOM!135
Back on Earth a starving family of four looked up into the skies136
at the wonderful display of lights. This looked like the lost137
fireworks that mankind used to celebrate the new years.138
Continuous shouting of "Happy New Year!" filled the blackening139
skies on this sorrow-filled day, and what just may have been140
the last day of Earth.141
The End. Or is it a new beginning?142
[Part two at storywrite.com/Story/964240 ]143
Author notes
I hope you guys liked reading my story
I worked really hard on it! And why? because "Sci-Fi Rules"!
Thanks to Halloween's request I'm going to be writing a part two 
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
Hi there,
What I didn't like:
~Generally you put double quotations ( " ) around everything the character says and inside that you put single ( ' ) quotations to signify things like a captain's log.
What I did like:
~The captian's logs! Incredibly new to this contest and well done (other than the punctuation, but as if that counts lol)
~Its pretty short, which is nice after reading some pretty long entries.
Good luck!
~Pix -
Hey!
What I didn't like:
~ the ending was confusing, I thought all the humans died?
~ the switching of the POV's was kind of confusing, but also made it interesting
What I liked:
~ neat idea with oxygen and toxins
~ short, easy and inviting to read
~ I liked the style of this, the captains log entries
Thanks for entering and good luck!
~ papi
-
WOW!! You have major talent I am speechless. Great write, I saw the title and feel in love at first sight and HAD to read this, and I am so glad I did. Great imagery, and meaning, and I liked the points you were got to get across. Great job , and keep writing, wouldn’t want the world to collapse without your brilliant mind! Best of wishes and great great job !!!!!!!!!!
Don't worry, I overlooked the errors, though they're were a few I won't mention them because the story was so so great! I'm not good at editing anyways, hehe it could be perfect and I'm just stupid. Anyways, great story!!!!!!! I'll buy you're book when you're famous!!!!!!!!! -
Thanks for the comment!
lol thats what i explained in my author's comments..she was talking into her captain's log when i used the single quotations ( ' ) and when it was a full quotation (") it was used as people talking to each other..i'm glad you liked the story!
-
HOLY CRAP
that was long but entertaining. lol at the part
January 3, 3000. 2 A.M.
' It has been hours since we last saw one Dan8. It's once again
going far too smoothly, something is bound to happen. Carlina
gasped and tripped over a red root. Cursing at herself she
apologized for being so "useless". *Sigh* sometimes this crew
really does make me wonder how they survived the--"*BOOM'
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT???", Julia yelled.
'I looked all over the place to find the source, but nothing appeared
in the green skies or the purple ground. Hundreds..no
THOUSANDS of Dan8's came charging at us. We blindly began
at that part i got a little confused because you switched from julia to first person to julia again later but it was quiet enjoyable!! keep up the great work.
-
and yeah each end is olso the beginning...now i realize what this could symbolize...The cycle of life: We're born...we have obstacles that we try to get through but sometimes no matter how hard we try, we can't but something new and better comes along if we let the former thing end porperly!
-
Sci-fi rules indeed! and so does your story...some parts were hard to understand but for the most part it was clear and it read like a good sci-fi story does *thumbs up* a bit confusing at times but all sci-fi has its:"what the hell just happened?" moments. I think it would make a cool movie and now you got me in the mood for making movies...if I had a video camera...muahahah! lol *use your imagination but NOT the sick kind of imagination.
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