"Stop it!" I screamed at my dad, who had been calm five minutes ago. He turned around from where he had my mother pinned on the ground, his eyes a blaze of fire. But he hadn’t hit her yet, and I was hoping to prevent it. 1
“Why are you doing this?” I asked in a firm-but-kind voice. “Mom didn’t do anything, Dad. Calm down,” I coaxed. His eyes cooled down about fifty degrees and he climbed off of her and helped her up. 2
“I’m so sorry, Mallory,” he said quietly. My dad seldom apologized, so that meant a lot. Then he pulled her to him and held her for a couple of seconds. 3
I sensed that everyone had lost their appetites after that, so I started to clear off the table. My dad stopped me, though, and together him and my mother did it. 4
I hoped this would open my dad’s eyes and show him that he was hurting the woman he loved, and that wasn’t acceptable. I really hoped.
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“Mallory!” my dad called out from the living room. I rushed to see what he wanted, when my mom stopped me. 6
“He’s been drinking, Mal. I’d be careful,” she warned me. I promised I would and stepped out of the den. 7
“Where’s my wife?” he asked, looking on me with his drunken eyes. I could tell he meant trouble. 8
“She went to the store, Dad,” I lied coolly. “She’ll be back in an hour or two.”9
“Who spends that mush time in a store?” he asked me, his eyes blank and uncomprehending. Apparently alcohol wasn’t the only substance he had in him. 10
“She has a lot to do today, remember?” I pressed him. He shook his head and motioned for me to sit down. I did. 11
“How’s school, Mallory?” he asked me, slightly slurring his words. 12
“I’m on Spring Break, Dad,” I reminded him.13
“You’ve been out partying, ain’tcha?” he asked, squinting his eyes and looking at me. 14
“No, Dad, I haven’t.”15
“Well, why not? You’re on Spring Break,” he said. “Come here.” 16
I didn’t know what he wanted, but I cautiously made my way over to my father. He grabbed my arm with one hand and lifted up his bottle of whiskey with the other. I was afraid he was going to hit me with it, but he didn’t. Instead, he offered it. 17
“Take a drink,” he ordered. I shook my head. 18
“I don’t drink, Dad.”19
“I said take a drink,” he said more forcefully. I sighed and took the bottle from him. His grip tightened around my arm as I tilted the bottle up. 20
“More,” he said, after seeing that I didn’t take much. It was very nasty and burned my stomach and throat. He took the bottle from me and I thought he had forgotten that he had told me to drink more. I was wrong. 21
He poured some into a shot glass, much more than I could ever want to drink. Then he held it up to me, sloshing some on my clothes. 22
“She’s not drinking that,” my mom said gently from the doorway. My dad then pulled me down into his lap and poured the alcohol all over me. 23
“She’ll do whatever I tell her to. She’s on Spring Break,” he countered. 24
“She doesn’t want to drink. She doesn’t have to if she doesn’t want to,” my mother repeated, raising her voice slightly. “Mallory, come here.”25
I rose to go to her and my dad shoved me out of the way and lunged at her. 26
“Don’t you yell at me, woman!” he hollered at her and started hitting her before I could do anything to stop it. I looked quickly at the bottle. It would be a long time before he would start to come down off it. My mother could get seriously hurt if I didn’t do something. 27
Part of me wanted to say I didn’t know what to do, that I couldn’t stop my dad. But I knew exactly what to do. I just didn’t want to do it. 28
I yelled at my dad again, hoping it would work like it had last time. No such luck; he was too drunk. 29
It was my mother’s screams that finally led me to do it. I picked up the whiskey bottle and brought it down hard, knocking him out. Then I made the harder decision, the one I knew all along I would have to. 30
I called the police on my dad.
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They arrived quicker than I expected. I was glad my dad was unconscious, because I don't think I could've handled it as well if he weren't. 32
My mother walked over and hugged me. She wasn't hurt badly, so there was no need to go to the hospital this time. 33
“I will never put you through that again, Mal,” she promised me. I knew that they were getting a divorce, and I knew I was the one who had prompted it. 34
There isn't a day goes by that I don't remember what I had done that day. And I will never regret it. 35
Author notes
NOT a true story.
A contest entry
- Free points & trophies! Get 'em while they're hot! by Mallig.
425 points, ended April 19, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - My first Storywrite contest :] by The Vertigo Effect.
400 points, ended June 11, 2008, 8 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by Vampiric souls.
225 points, ended June 19, 2008, 42 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Disfunctional Families by On.Cue.
175 points, ended December 28, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Best Story On Story Write by crazy.hott.salsa.
195 points, ended January 30, 2009, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Bugs Bunny or Mickey Mouse?
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I'm glad it's not a true story for you. *shiver* That was creepy. But well-written. And it's something people need to think about.
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Thanks. Yeah, it is kind of creepy, especially to think that some people actually have to go through this. Fortunately for me, I don't have a dad to worry about
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That makes two of us.
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This was well written, perhaps lacking in some emotion.
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Mickey Mouse
Haha for the question. Anyway I thought this was really good. I know how a drunken parent is so I could relate to this a lot which is why I'm surprised it seemed so real. It was nice that everything worked out in the end, which is so much different than many real situations which don't get resolved. Great work.
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I reaaaaaally liked this; it was so simply but there was a lot of feeling in it. Wow you're good at making something so short seem real. Best of luck in the contest and keep writing! I really loved this; how I could feel the fear element as he asked her to drink, and how you described the taste and the burning sensation. Then the simple sentence 'I called the police on my dad.' which is such a flat statement, but instantly makes the readers think about how it affected her to do that, and what it meant to her. I think in particular the words 'my dad' worked. I liked the ending too; simple and gentle, leaving opening for life to continue. Great work and best of luck!
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Another slice of life story. I like these vignettes you write; they're important parts of life without the long parts of how we got there or what happens next.
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This was very good. There was plenty og struggle without it going overboard. ANd it was sad, because she had to turn him in, but it was the better choice. Overall, very good.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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Very good job
I really liked the emotion in it
And can relate to it minus the helping out
I was to young to help my mother when my father use to attack her
This really hit home and i really liked it though
I'm glad its not a true story because they are hard to deal with
When it really does happen even with me being so young
I remember every fight and every thing even the smell of beer on my fathers breath
But anyway thank you for entering
I really enjoyed reading it
Good emotion in it
:]
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very good job. Would have like more detail, but i could still feel her internal struggle. I enjoyed reading it...the flow was flawless
and the hook caught me right away! Very well done! Just a note: Para ten...'mush' should be 'much'? Thanks for entering! ~D
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This was a very touching piece. I love the detail you put in, as well as the characters. They were very well developed for a short piece, and I found the girl's conflict over calling the police and dealing with her father to be particularly intriguing. Not many have the courage, and she didn't, either. A very relatable trait for a character to possess. Thanks for your entry. (:
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Beautiful story! Well written, I could feel the tension when he called for "his wife" when he was drunk... very good! I'm happy it's not true for you, but unfortunately it is for many others... it's good that the main charactor eventually called the cops, more people should do that! Too many people put up with this crap!
Great job, keep it up!
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yeah they are thats fine but about the story well done it was really good i liked it poor girl having to drink like that nice job on the description it almost felt like i was in the story well good luck an well done
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This is a painful story, and even if it is not true for you, it is definitely true for a lot of other people. The constant fear and unpredictability of living with an abuser as well as a substance abuser, and the feeling of being unable to rely on the people you truly are supposed to be able to rely on in this world, really comes through in these words. I applaud you for this story, it is well written and emotionally gripping. There are strongly felt moments of fear, vulnerability and bravery. Thanks for this entry!
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true story
wow this story is amazing. it sounds like how my real dad treated my mom. and the past fathers of mothers in my family. It just takes a chunk out of my heart and helps me become stronger. -
woah- was that a true story? you are really brave. well done on this story, i loved it! plus, good job on what you did- it was the right thing.
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