Progression.......I think?

Hello?1

“Hey. What’s going on?”2

Nothing but I see that you called me a million times. What do you want?3

“We have progress.”4

Progress?5

“Yes. Progress.”6

What kind of progress?7

“Well you might think it’s dumb but I think its progress. Let’s just say that I’m a half a step away from my kiss.”8

You still haven’t kissed her I take it.9

“No!”10

What the hell is taking so long!?!11

“It can’t just happen. And the last few times that I had the nerve to do it we both have been too drunk.”12

So you are waiting for this perfect moment that probably won’t happen.13

“Um no smartass. I’m waiting till both us are a little tipsy and then I can do it.”14

So what is this progress you’re talking about?15

“Well it started on Thursday.”16

Yeah you told me that about the whole vulnerable thing.17

“Well yeah. I don’t even know how that whole conversation got started. All I know is my project is asking me to be vulnerable.”18

How do you do that?19

“Exactly what I said. How do I be vulnerable to you right now? Plus I don’t do vulnerable.”20

Yeah you do.21

“Whatever.”22

Cause you know I’m right and that is why you are giving me a whatever.23

“Whatever. So anyhow I discussed this matter with another friend. She says I’m crazy and all she wanted you to do was kiss her right then and there. Do you agree with that assessment?”24

Umm. Yeah. You are crazy. You had the opportunity to kiss her but you didn’t cause your pride wouldn’t let you.25

“My pride has nothing to do with it.”26

Yeah it does.27

“No it doesn’t.”28

Yeah it does. You pretty much said so yourself. You just told me that you don’t do vulnerable.29

“I don’t.”30

Sure. I’ve seen it on numerous occasions would you like for me to point them out.31

“No.”32

Ok. So now what? You called me to tell me that you had a drunk conversation with her about being vulnerable and you missed your grand, perfect moment, and opportunity to kiss her. Man kid. You’re slippin. The old you would have been all over that. And now?33

“Thanks.”34

Well it’s the truth. The old you would have taken the clue and kissed her. This new you or rather this you, without your mojo, is pathetic. 35

“Once again. Thanks.”36

Well come on. You are getting all excited about these little moments. How long have you been planning on kissing this chick.37

“A while.”38

Exactly. And lets be more specific. Like seven months. I’m going to need for you to expedite the process. You’re boring me.39

“Boring you? I’m the most excitement you get now that you are all tied down to that youngin you call a girlfriend. You two are like an old married couple. Talk about boring. At least I’m single.”40

Yes you are single and still without your kiss. 41

“Bite me.”42

Oh you can dish it but not take it.43

“No. Besides if I was there would plenty of excitement.”44

Really. How so?45

“Yep. I would shake things up a bit. Does your youngin still not like me?”46

(laughing) Pretty much. She just doesn’t trust me around you.47

“I wouldn’t trust you around me or anyone else for that matter.”48

Hey!49

“What? It’s the truth. You are a dog. Always have been and always will be.”50

I believe part of that is partly your responsibility?51

“Nice try. You were a dog long before I came around. Don’t put that on me.”52

You weren’t saying that when I was cheating on my boyfriend with you.53

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”54

Really?55

“Nope. I don’t have a clue what you are talking about.” (laughing)56

Well as much as I like to trade barbs with you I have to go and plus the girlfriend is calling. 57

“Are you kidding me you are getting off the phone with me in the middle of my crisis cause your girlfriend is calling?”58

Yep. You really think you still got it like that with me. Hate to break it to you but you don’t. 59

“I bet if I wanted to I could.”60

Whatever Big Head. I have to go. Call me when you actually do something. 61

“Ok. Talk to you later. Bye.”62

Bye.63