I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. 1
That night when it finally dawned on us that we were actually in love with eachother... I'll never forget it. 2
So much had happened that night. So much crap. The night you saved me from my step dad... the bruise was still forming on your cheek. After he left, we just lay there on my bed, drinking it all in. 3
"I love you." 4
"I love you." 5
"I love you." 6
"I love you." 7
We kept repeating it back and forth, as if trying to mimic the way it was endlessly echoing in our minds. 8
I can remember how you propped yourself up on one elbow and put your free hand on the side of my face. I can remember how you whispered, "Alex, I'm in love with you," as if it was our secret, and then let your mouth just hover over mine. 9
I remember the dull sparkle in your grey-green eyes. 10
I can also remember how you kissed me. Those light, feathery kisses that stopped my heart and set it to pounding... 11
That was also the first night we slept together. Made love. Screwed. Whatever you want to call it. I remember how you made me mew out your name and grip the bed sheets and arch my back until it hurt. I remember how you kissed and bit my neck and moaned out my name, and I remember how afterwards we just layed there and you played with my hair. I can remember how I was shaking , and when you asked me what I was thinking, I just couldn't explain how I felt. 12
I remember you, Silas. And I know you remember me, too. I know that no matter how much I think of you, you'll always think of me twice as much. 13
I know for a fact that we both still love eachother, and I know we're going to see eachother again, whether it be for just a weekend or a vacation... Maybe they'll let you move back eventually, and maybe we'll get to go back to normal like this all never happened... 14
God Willing. 15
Author notes
pain/romance
snuggly bear. -_-
(picture option #2, homosexuality, depression, abuse of any sort[?])
age 16
male
"He who lives by fighting with an enemy has an interest in the preservation of that enemy's life."
A contest entry
- Emo and love. by aloneallalong.
335 points, ended April 1, 2008, 30 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options Again... by On.Cue.
404 points, ended March 30, 2008, 20 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - A Contest for Everyone! by RegalTheft.
450 points, ended March 30, 2008, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Loss of Innocence by Crying Angel Eyes.
100 points, ended March 31, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - MAKE ME DEPRESSED by Springs.
235 points, ended June 4, 2008, 52 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Two Days Only! Hit me with your best prewrite!!! by Princess Peaches.
111 points, ended April 28, 2008, 28 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
I feel like the end is missing something. What do you think?
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
-
How amazingly sweet! Awe I hope I find a love like that one day . I haven't read anything that made me melt inside so much in too long (if that sentence makes any sense).
I love it. I love it. I love it.
"I can remember how you whispered, "Alex, I'm in love with you," as if it was our secret, and then let your mouth just hover over mine. 9" (THAT IS JUST THE SWEETEST THING IN THE WORLD!!)
Is this based on a true story? Cuz I noticed that you used your name.
Overall, GREAT JOB!
-
Awwww how cute! I loved it...again...YOU'RE TOO DAMN CUTE!
Are you going to post more of this one, neh? I would absolutely love to read more of your work.
Good job Alex! YAY!
OMG! I'm sooooo hyper...random much...yeah...AWESOME! -
This is a good story. ^^ Keep penning and can't wait to read more. you're a good author.
-
it was very good and im not really into all the mushy gushy stuff but it made me feel kinda sad near the end and i think that all the i love yous were unnecessary
-
I don't think the end is missing anything, but the I love you I love you's at the beginning seemed unnecessary since you later brought it up it the dialogue. Just sounded a bit much, but if you like it then it's nothing big. It was very heartfelt and reminiscent, and slightly sad for some wierd reason. You're style is awesome, and a little unique too.
Useless piece of info: Another way of saying 'God willing' is 'Inshallah'. (Arabic, and a common phrase in the Middle East.)
-
I liked this- a few errors, but common ones.
It had an amazing sort of imagery, although the flow faltered in some areas, some were a bit melodramatically written. Also, a bit was missing- you never explained why Silas moved away.
I'd like to see more of this. More of an explanation.
But other than that, wonderful job! -
-
I'm thinking that after I finish "Saving A. Miracle" I'll start on this one and turn it into a series type thing,and if i do, then it'll explain why silas left in there ^_^
-
Now that I think about it, I have to agree with them and some of the others about an explanation to why he moved. I guess you'll be explaining that in another part though, since this is the prologue.
-
-
I like it. =)
Hm.
Missing something?
Possibly a reason why hes moved away?
But, its great.!
-
-
If I end up turning it into a series it'll explain why he moved in there ^^
-
-
Short, but DEFINITELY sweet! I loved how you took those three little words and made them click through repetition...and the line "mimic the way it was endlessly echoing in our minds" was really effective. As DarknessOfSanity said, readers (like me) can really empathize with your character's situation, and understand his pain and his love. Although, I do think you're right in that the end is missing something...but I, too, can't put my finger on it. Maybe it needs a promise to love each other forever, or a plan to meet, or a little more explanation as to what happened that literally separated them. Ah well...someday someone will figure it out.
A few (extremely) minor errors:
I can remember how I was shaking , = I can remember how I was shaking,
eachother = each other
Anyways, fantastic story! Good luck in (all!) your contests. -
i lurve it
it's sweet and touching. it's a heart-warmer that makes you empthaize with you, instead of sympathize, because the way you talk about it makes it easy to understand. you love silas so much and you remember him so well, you'd do anything just to see him again. this was short, but it was a fantastic write. i enjoyed reading it. keep up the good work! =)
*huggles* and i hope that if this is based on something real that you get to see your silas again soon. =)
-
To me it says everything it needs to so it doesn't matter that it is short. It's touching and a shared intimacy between the characters.
-
Nice. Short. Excellent. Touching. What else have I missed? Not usually one for short comments (they roll in the points) but not really much I can say!
--RT -
That was cute, but I can't put my finger on it but it's lacking/missing something =/
Thanks for entering.
If you entered earlier, I might have been able to help you edit this so you had a chance to win. -
LOVED IT!
Really detailed.
I love the "I love you's" lol
Great job.
-
I love how you compared all the "I love you's" to the echoing of it in their minds. I thought that was very creative to you. I'm not sure if that is supposed to be an entire story or just a proglogue. Nonetheless, it was very well written. I feel as if there is a hidden meaning in it somewhere, as though it came from the very depths of your heart. I enjoyed the way you described everthing. Nice job! =]
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
-
OH I LOVED IT..
OMG I love the repition I love you!!!!
this was so sweet.. the kind of forbidden love within depression...
^.^
I am glad you told me to read it..for all its simplicity it was brilliant
Adding your comment:
1 - 18 of 18
