Rajnish: The WHOLE DANG THING

Rajnish1

Let us see how much grace a month’s time will give me. 2

PART I: OF THE GODS ON EARTH3

He was said to have been of the gods. He was the prized sapphire of Bombay—one that even Vishnu could look upon and smile. They called him The Lord of Night—the deliverance that hundreds upon hundreds of years had cried out for. His name was young Rajnish, and besides that, I knew nothing of him. His name was whispered among our kind as though it were so sacred and fragile that its continuous utterance would somehow dishonor him. But he was still just a babe, I for one reasoned, and could not possibly know that ten thousands and more blessed his name among those of the most revered. And perhaps, for once in my life, I was right. 4

I saw him first in the arms of the lady Padma, the proud mother of Rajnish. Her eyes glistened with a sort of hope that seemed to spread all of these lands, all directed towards the young child. His hair was already shining blacker than the moonless night. Wide eyes of innocence took in every movement around him, glowing against his already brown skin. His hands reached out for his mother with a rippling laugh. Cradling his fragile body in the folds of her sari, she softly repeated his name, “Rajnish…” 5

Early in those years, they knew that there was an unusual way in Rajnish. A divinity, many believed. Many others asked if he were man or god. Among her people, Padma noted, “He is the first child I have seen who does not fear the night,” 6

“Perhaps his name suits him then,” a woman named Dipali returned. 7

“I have never seen a tear from his eyes yet,”8

“He is still a child,” another woman rolled her eyes, “He cannot have no fears,” 9

“But he is my child,” the passion in Padma’s eyes was clear. “Destiny has blessed him greatly,” Such words could not be argued. 10

Many a time, we could hear the words of Padma from room to room, muttering about the gatherings of lotus petals for her infant son. It was less of a request to us but more of a demand. Many asked if the pains of labor had driven her to madness. But there was no choice for us except to fulfill her wishes. 11

We traveled across countless ponds and waters, gathering as many lotus blossoms as our arms could hold. The petals of pink, gold and ivory overflowed from our dark skin, slipping from the weary baskets of straw we had quickly grabbed. Many were left to line the dirt path, for Padma’s wrath was one that I did not wish to face. 12

She awaited us in the front of the white washed façade, her sky blue sari swaying with each step. “Dhanyavaad” Thank You, she smiled serenely, and with a gentle hand, she lifted our sacred lotuses from our arms. Somewhat perplexed, we returned to our daily tasks. 13

When the night fell and Chandra lifted his head into the vast skies, I turned my head to the rising white building of the new heir Rajnish. To think that he was perhaps the one Brahma had sent…14

A flicker emerged from an upper window. Then another. And another. Soon there was a dance of flickering flames, each delicately intertwined yet carefully resisting the temptation to expand, eating away at the fragile walls. Beneath their glow lay a carpet of thousands and thousands of lotus petals, each holding a soft reflection of light. Even from the ground, I could hear Padma’s voice softly singing a lullaby unknown to me. Beautiful and lulling, the only words I could understand were 15

Hope is in your future soon16

Lakshmi’s fortune upon you17

From slumber rise to unbound dreams18

This is your night, oh young Rajnish!19

Every window that rode around the surface of the home was filled with curious faces. All of the servants left their duties where they were given, all to catch whatever glimpse could be captured from the outside. It was a sort of rainbow of silk, stretching from the front door to the back. All were curious of what the young master would receive this year. 20

Though the boy Rajnish was hardly two years old, Padma and Rama had showered upon him every gift imaginable. The masters often complained of how their money was running low to pay us, yet there was always a spare rupee for Rajnish. 21

Many gazed in awe at the previous gifts—elaborate carpets of scarlet and gold, sun-like figures of Buddha and Brahma, rupees, paintings, sculptures, and the devas know what. It was as though every good and perfect thing in all of India was here before this young child. IT very much seemed as if that were so. 22

Master Rama opened the door with a smile. The looming faces peering inside were simply passed by. 23

“Namaste!” he greeted the visitor. 24

“Namaste,” the visitor wearily replied. In one arm, he held a covered cage. His eyes turned to the small form of Rajnish. “So—this is the light of Bombay, am I right?” 25

Padma nodded as Rama continued, “Yes—he is our son Rajnish,” 26

“I see,” The man fiddled with the cage hanging from his arm. “Well Rajnish, I have brought for you something that few eyes have seen, let alone been given,” 27

Eyes of sparked curiosity beamed wider, glowing against Rajnish’s dark skin. He looked up to the large man, waiting for something that he did not understand. 28

The silk cover over the cage was grabbed with a swift motion, tossed to the side to reveal an animal unlike anything seen by any of us. Its fur was of the brightest wood, glossed with a coat of sunlight. It had the face of a young raccoon yet the claws of a bear. Eyes of black marbles, it twitched its head back and forth, more overcome with confusion than the young boy. 29

Rajnish watched it with instant fascination. “It is called a Sankam, all the way from Sikkim,” the man explained with pride. “Very few of these are left,” As he spoke, the Sankam hopped from corner to corner, clawing softly at the bars of metal before it. 30

It was hard to define Rajnish’s reaction. One hand reached out to touch the new beast while another nervously tagged behind his fattened body. Only his eyes were confident with pure curiosity, unabashed by any juvenile fears. The adults forgot his presence. 31

It was clear that Rajnish cared not (nor knew not) whether the Sankam was a rare and fine creature among our people or if it were just a common rodent. That was the first time any of us had seen that soon-to-be trademark smile on his face--the twinkling in his eyes that shimmered unnaturally bright, as though he were trying to outshine Chandra's light. But at the same time, it was a perfectly natural and pure look, as though all men on earth smiled in just the same way. His delight surfaced as he petted the copper fur of the rare animal. The two were never seen apart.32

He never understood why she drew the rice powder patterns into the ground. In the mornings, he would arise, totter down on unstable legs, and there they were—breathtaking paths of pink, purple and green powders, all lined up in a sort of dance. A dance for the eyes. As soon as he could speak, he followed his mother faithfully, asking as he pointed to the patterns, “Tum?” Why? 33

The women shuffled from the kitchen to the platform outside, carrying bowls of many coloured rice powders. He looked at each new one with fascination, eyes widening as if to swallow up whatever came near them. He pointed to one and asked once more, “Tum?” 34

“It is for the lady Lakshmi,” lady Padma took in her elegantly long fingers a pinch of plain white powder. 35

“Tum?” 36

“So she will bless us. It is called a kolam,” 37

“Tum?”38

A servant gently laid down a bowl that glowed of pink, which she quickly reached for. “So evil spirits will not try to come to you, my child,” she laughed, painting a line of pink with her fingers. 39

Still puzzled, he tottered over to one of the large bowls of blue. Eagerly, he reached out his pudgy fingers-40

“No, Rajnish!” Padma gently slapped his fingers. “They are not for people,” It was curious to watch his expression, which melted into one of perfect contentment instead of the tears of selfishness any normal child would cry. 41

“Tum? “ he asked innocently. 42

“Because Lakshmi is very special. Very special. I heard her voice once, and she is not like any person. She brought you to me,” her eyes of topaz lifted from her kolam. Brushing off the rainbows of sand from her fingers, she added, “I need to thank her,” 43

His eyes lit up in revelation, widening to let even more light come through. For one so young, he understood Padma’s words very quickly. Satisfied for now, he raced off towards the door to the house. Nodding to a servant to follow him, she returned to her convoluted pattern of greens, whites, blues and pinks. It was as though rainbows trailed from her elongated fingers. Hour after hour passed and her path only became more and more detailed. The interwoven trails of white and blue dust could be blown away by one sweeping away of the wind, yet she worked on. 44

It took until the sun had nearly fallen for her to finish the kolam. Stepping away, she looked at it with satisfaction. It was a giant lotus of interwoven triangles and dots. Eyes closed, she whispered, “Thank you, Lakshmi,” 45

Every moment of his life was spent in the room--the one with walls of crimson as beautiful as the petals of red lilies, so bright one had to squint as he entered. It was quickly dubbed “The Room of Red Lilies”. The walls were lined with ornaments of gold and fine jewels, half of which I could not name, let alone hope to own. Every moment of every day, it glistened in a splendor of a sultan’s palace. Nothing was in any particular order, except for the silver cage of the Sankam, which sat in the far right corner. As noon evenly struck, his tutor arrived, and in a few meticulously numbered hours, he left. But Rajnish still remained. 46

One or two of us from time to time would peak into the window from the ground to see if the boy still lived. And every time we looked, we could see nothing but a taste of the new blood-red walls. Shadows stretched out into the open air, and we dared to assume he was alive. 47

His mother Padma brought him meals when the morning light arose, hit its highest point, and fell into the earth, carefully on the same moment every time. From day to day, there were packages sent in, and on fewer occasions, packages and letters sent out. But Rajnish still remained. 48

The gossip loving women would not give up their fantasies of demons or spirits imprisoning him in there. Many wondered if he was one of Andhaka's fallen army. 49

One of the young women Ankita spent the morning looking high and low for something tall and sturdy to stand upon. All of us, who were engrossed in our own tasks, ignored her selfish scurries, continuing on with our lives. 50

In an hour's time, we heard the mutterings of several women. Sure enough, there was Ankita, in the arms of a shivering tree, some of the female servants nervously watching her and calling her from below. "The boy is cursed," she muttered, squinting to the now distant window, "He cannot still be among the living," 51

A younger servant girl held up an unusual black hollow rod, a sort of expensive bamboo stick with glass ends. Surely it was master Rama's. Ankita quickly took it in her hands, holding up the larger end to her eye, and then the smaller, looking out towards the distant window. The crowd jumped as they noticed her strong flinch. 52

She turned to us, the back to her sight. Another woman nimbly climbed up the tree to join Ankita, snatched the odd lacquer bamboo stick, and took a look for herself. "He is perfectly well," she bluntly stated, and the crowds quickly scattered back to daily routine. 53

It was said that whenever a glimpse of the mysterious young Rajnish was caught, he had a head buried in piles of scrolls and papers. His face was seen rarely among the glimpses, but when it was, there was a smile in his eyes that shone brighter than a hundred suns. Once, a paper fluttered from his open window to the ground, covered in blind scrawls that were supposed to be Devanagari, we determined. 54

Months upon months followed in this way until it became natural. He was of the elite--the chosen. Even at such a young age, this path was laid before him. Perhaps that was just how the chosen lived. 55

The room of red lilies held nothing of value to young Rajnish, except for the Sankam in the corner. It tried to climb the dulled bars of the cage, but when it failed, fell to the ground content to chew on the newest bamboo leaves. The noise of his chews was the only sound in the empty home. 56

It took long enough for the boy to realize that the Sankam had no name. “Sankam,” Rajnish turned from his wooden chair to the red panda in his cage with a slight frown. “You need a name,” 57

The copper raccoon looked at him as though slightly confused. He instantly turned back to his pile of bamboo leaves. “Everyone needs a name,” He sighed, looking up at the vivid red ceiling for ideas. “A name…a name…” 58

The trouble was that Rajnish knew no people. That is to say, he knew very few. In the short years of his life, the only ones he knew by name were Mataji and Pitaji. Mother and Father. 59

Every night, his mother had told him tales of many other people—great people called Devis named Lakshmi and Shiva and Vishnu. They had powers and wisdom beyond those of men, along with many arms. Some, such as Shiva, had other worldly skin colours as well. She told him that she had heard the voice of Lakshmi; she said it was true. Thus, Rajnish believed and listened with attentive ears. 60

Mataji told him of the beautiful lady Lakshmi, who had four arms instead of two, and held in her palms lotus blossoms. She said that the lady Lakshmi had promised her that she was to have a son, and gave her a lotus as a seal of the promise. She would smile at Rajnish, and add that he was to be a great man, one close to the gods. That was why many came from far and wide to give him nice things. 61

In reality, it was because they all believed in her divine dream of Lakshmi. If it were so, then he was a gift from the gods. Through him, I heard one say, perhaps one can become a god. But Rajnish did not need to know such whispers. 62

You must become a knowledgable man, Padma told him each day. You must bring honor to the gods. And for that reason, Padma drilled him in Sanskrit every day in the Room of Red Lilies. He knew no different—knew nothing and no one, except for his nameless Sankam. 63

“I don’t know many names,” he frowned, thinking of how his mother had just begun teaching him history a few days ago. 64

You are of the night, young Rajnish…65

From slumber rise to unbound dreams!66

His glowing face, a crescent moon,67

Chander lights the path for you…68

“Chander!” his eyes lit up in the way only his could, facing his Red Panda. Its black eyes bore into his as if demanding an explanation. “Your name shall be Chander, since he is the god of shining,” 69

The Sankam said nothing. “Your fur has a shine like the moon, like Chander,”70

As though it understood, the sankam now named Chander seemed to smile, looking up to the young boy. And when Rajnish smiled back, it was as though the room was lit with a dozen candles. 71

It was clear after a certain amount of time that Chander was a distraction to Rajnish. He was his only true companion, let alone an animal—an animal that found any opportunity to scurry out of its disproportionate cage and race along the newly cleaned floors. 72

I heard a noise that I knew was not intentional. A clang of a rusty bar fell to the ground above my head, which was followed by the sound of ten thousand hastened footsteps. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw rushing down the stairs a muddied Chander, paw prints soiling the white washed floors. His speed was stunning, catching me off guard for a moment. But a moment was long enough for him to reach the door. 73

It took ten servants to get the beast back to his cage in the Room of Red Lilies. It was both the first and the last time any of us entered that room. But its beauty was vivid in all of our memories for years to come. 74

After that incident and many more like it, Padma became so exasperated with the Sankam that she moved its home into her own room, closing the door to young Rajnish’s room fast behind her steps. Even through the door, he watched for her and his companion with solemn eyes. But the door never opened. 75

A few days later, Padma proclaimed that she and her friend Dipali were going to the marketplace. Seeing this as a moment to escape the all-seeing eye of Padma’s over protective gaze, Rajnish gingerly slipped out of his room into the main hallway. All of it was so foreign to him, but he soon found his way. Perhaps it was the remnants of Chander’s muddy paw print from weeks before or the sound of his whines that led him in the right direction. 76

In rushed expectations, he threw open a silk curtain to find a pantry. The shelves were stuffed with bags of rice, jars of multi-coloured spices, and other ingredients he did not recognize. But no Chander. 77

He rushed back over the tiled floors, up and down stairs, looking between curtain after curtain. He was greeted by cushions of every shade, simple wall tapestries of divinities, and rugs of green and white. Frowning, he moved on to a room of earthy tones and little cusions, and a room that was purely empty except for one bamboo rug and an empty window. 78

Never giving up, he burst through yet another set of curtains into the largest of the rooms thus far—floor invisible due to the elaborate set of cushions. It was empty. Yet even through the mist of a vibrant sorbet of colours and scents of homeland spices, he could hear the sound of Chander’s whine, breaking through the illusion of beauty. 79

He jumped at the sight of his faithful friend bound by rope to a small platform, trying to run into circles but unable to move. The fur of melting copper had lost its joyful glisten, and the close eyes of endless black seemed to have died. His fox-like whiskers tickled the sheets of silk, pleading for his true master to free him. 80

The boy’s eyes searched for something that would cut through the thick rope that separated him from the Sankam. All his looks found were soft lanterns of sunlight and detailed wall rugs of the Devis he had been told so much about. Lakshmi. Krishna. Shiva. One figure stuck out to him—the figure of the ten armed lady Durga. 81

Bedizened with unearthly jewels, she shimmered in triumph and victory, bearing in each of her ten arms a blade. Three eyes of fire lit up her perfectly carved face. It was said that she had slaughtered countless demons once. That was all Rajnish could remember. 82

His fingers carefully played with a blade, trying to slip it out of the goddess’s fierce hold. But she would not move. Gently grabbing the golden figure, he took it towards the rope, sawing at the taught strings. 83

It took many strong blows at the rope to cut it free. As soon as the last string snapped, Chander dashed off into the centre hallway. Carelessly laying the statue of Durga onto a shelf, Rajnish chased after his companion. 84

Only a few steps later, he found himself running into a soft yet firm body. In his chest, he could feel his heart racing, lumping towards his throat. Reluctantly, he looked up to face the one he dreaded finding—Padma. 85

Her expression narrowed as her usually rounded warm eyes were cold with righteous anger. “What are you doing here, Rajnish?”86

“M-Mataji…” his words trembled in his throat, heart escalating. “I—was hungry,” he lamely improvised. 87

Unable to be angry at her son for too long, Padma rolled her eyes with a frown, “Why did you not just ask one of the quli to bring you food?”88

“None were around,” he mentally sighed in relief. 89

“I know you were not hungry,” her elegant fingers brushed above the new trails of paw prints, scratching at the off white tiles. Rajnish’s eyes traced the path several times before trying to think of any reply. He dared not think of what Padma may do. 90

A few moments of silence later, the servant Ankita approached them, carrying the culprit Chander. “Dhanyavaad, Daas” Padma gently took the Sankam from her most favoured servant. The copper creature struggled, trying to scratch at her golden auburn sari. 91

“Nahi!” No. she firmly snapped, silencing the animal. Rajnish’s jaw tightened instantly. 92

She turned to her son. “You will see no more of this thing,” 93

“His name is Chander,” the boy glared back defiantly. 94

A strong slap from nowhere silenced him instantly. Massaging his face, he looked up to see his mother’s piercing gaze of fury. “Never speak back on my commands,” Usually, her eyes were of soft spices, aromatic and calming all that came near her. But now her irises flickered from beneath her eye, as though those spices were caught on fire, blazing out of control. 95

He looked up at her in fear. Without another word, she motioned for Ankita to bring him back to the Room of Red Lilies. A firm hand pushed his back forward, leading him down the hall to his chamber. When he tried to look back at his now transformed mother, she was gone. The now empty hall filled him, bringing a chill down his spine. Somehow, the world suddenly felt much colder. 96

The fiasco of the Red Panda was quickly forgotten by us. And with gratefulness to the gods. Now there was one less pair of muddy paw prints, sprinting through the clean hallways and plucked vegetable patches. Padma’s unearthly rage seemed to be appeased as well. A heated master would not do any of us good either. However, Rajnish’s shuffling figure in the upper window was non-existent, and the invisible light his spirit had shown off so far in his life was gone. 97

In the Room of Red Lilies, he had tossed aside the piles of Devanagari script, only holding one in his hand. The sutras to Lakshmi. Hovering over the candle of incense on his small desk, he brought the rice paper closer and closer until and end caught into flames. “You are not kind, lady of the lotus,” he muttered with furrowed brows, watching until there was but a pile of crisp ashes lining the candle’s base. With that, he felt almost content.98

Brushing those out the window, he let out a sigh and looked over the land. Right below him lay the fairly large patch of vegetables, decorating the otherwise dulled brown and green scene. A few white washed walls to line the inner and outer courtyard looked like nothing more than traces of rice powder on the ground. Servants rushed from point to point, defying the boundaries of rice powdered chalk. In the far distance, behind a veil of trees, he saw a vast cluster of muddied white buildings, all lined on the horizon as far as the eye could see. Some rose high and grand, but most shuffled across the dirt path. Brown specks of stands stuck out against the white, smoke rising from a few. They all looked as though they would collapse on each other at any moment. A spirit of movement and excitement radiated from it, even from so far away. The silence that floated over the Room of Red Lilies struck out against that distance.99

He noticed a dirt path, wrapping from the inner most part of the cluster, down closer and closer to this home of his. The difference between his trimmed yard and the chaos of the group of buildings surprised him. Yet something drew him in and made him wish he lived there instead of this dull place. 100

Letting his eyes wander to the side, he noticed a grey speck towards the huddle of trees. When it was tipped to the side by a careless servant, he could define a copper gleam from inside, one that quickly snapped at the nearby person. “Chander!” the young boy proclaimed in a secretive whisper, eyes lighting up once more. 101

~102

His eyes never seemed to blink, even as the day slowly slipped into night. They locked onto that silver cage, never letting go in fear of losing it once more. He would not lose his only friend in this world. As the sun slipped below the line of ground, painting the sky in every imaginable hue, the line of servants from the courtyards slowly evaporated. He counted each one on his fingers, watching and waiting without a blink or movement. 103

“Ek…” One. He watched me with impatience from his Room of Red Lilies. His white collar glowed against the charcoal sky. As he watched me, I watched him back, wondering when the boy would stop gazing over the land and rest. But he continued to look down, eyes of rich cocoa haunting me. 104

It was only then that I noticed that the stars were out, keeping me from stumbling across the rough ground. The work for the day was done, and I had to even ask myself what kept me lingering around outside. It was a relentless, cold night, every part of my body protesting for me to go into the warming white building. The boy still did not move. Compromising, I slipped inside the house, yet turning around a curtain, waiting to see what the boy would do in my absence. 105

“None…” he smiled, eyeing the silver cage. Peeking from behind the curtain hiding his Room of Red Lilies, he saw what he expected. Nothing. With careful steps, he slipped down to the ground level, rushing into the heartless night, only guided by bespeckled stars. 106

He had never entered the courtyard before. The mystery of night surely didn’t help him find his way. Darkness draped over every bush and wall, leading a blind Rajnish through a maze of black. Many minutes passed until he noticed the moonlight’s shimmer on a rising cage of silver. Rushing towards it, he once again found Chander, whose eyes glowed ominously in the dark. 107

“Chander, you will be fine,” he promised, fingering a gold statue from his room. With a brush of his hand, he commanded, “Move away from the door,” The Sankam understood and quickly scurried to the farthest end of the cage. 108

Sticking his arm through one of the slots between pillars of polished silver, he wedged the gold figure of an unnamed deity into the center of the room. Chander eyed it with confused fascination. In a swift motion, Rajnish rammed the relic into the door, causing a sharp dent. Chander’s eyes flickered wider, startled. The young boy continued to do this, occasionally hitting the other sides as well. The hollowed silver cage eventually looked as though it would crumple with any sudden motion. With one last charge, the gate flew wide open, almost hitting Rajnish. 109

Slithering his arm back out, the boy looked at the gold figure with a short laugh. “Thank you, Devi. You saved Chander,” Tentatively, the Red Panda crawled over to the wide open door, soundlessly slipping by his owner’s side. Grabbing the glowing red creature, Rajnish stood up with a determined smile towards the trees. “Now we must find you a new home,” 110

No one ever entered the shaded cluster of trees. It never could compare to woods or forest or jungle, but its umbrella of leaves cast such dark shadows that no one dared to ask what lurked in each shaded corner. Turning left and right, Rajnish suddenly stopped. Laying Chander on the ground and grasping the gold statue, he pointed to a small opening in the base. The tip of the god’s crown dug into the ground a large half-circle around the entrance. “You shall have to stay here during the day, Chander. No one can find you. No one. Am I clear?” his expression firmed, and the Sankam noticed. The raccoon-like face bobbed in understanding. 111

“Good,” he gently shoved his companion into the crevice. “I shall come and visit you every night the quli are all gone, and I shall bring you lots of bamboo,” Chander’s wiley smile arose on those words. “Stay here for me, will you promise?” And though Chander could not speak in reply, Rajnish knew his friend would always wait for him. 112

The Room of Red Lilies could not contain him, yet Padma worked to cover that fact. With Rama’s constant protests, Rajnish was at long last permitted to play in the courtyard for a short amount of time each day. Still dissatisfied with the decision, Padma instructed her son that “not a stain should be found, or there would be most terrible consequences”113

Rajnish was not quite sure what Mataji meant when she told him in a soft yet begrudging voice, “Go play”. His eyes were blank for a few moments, waiting for her to explain. When she turned to walk upstairs, a lilac sari trailing behind her, his feet remained planted in the ground, looking over the relatively large walled-in courtyard. No one was there, except for a few passing servants. The emptiness and wide space was beyond his comprehension. 114

I was carrying a large pot when he pulled on the bottom edge of my shirt. “Quli,” he asked, voice low yet soft. “What does it mean to ‘go play’? What am I supposed to do?” There was a true naivety and innocence in his eyes—a sincerity of obedience which instead of making me awestruck made me laugh out loud. 115

This was far from what he expected; he drew back slowly and nervously. “It means to go play!” I replied with a hearty laugh, wondering how any boy could not understand, “Have fun! Do whatever you want—“ I began, then hastily added, “As long as you don’t get too dirty. Your Mataji would not be pleased with any of us if you did,” 116

Understanding grasped him at long last as that signature smile spread from his curled lips to his turned down nose to his eyes, which always shined brighter than memory could serve. In an instant, he darted off, and I smiled, for it all seemed only natural. 117

He returned as though he had saved the land of India. And perhaps he had. For who did not know the name of Rajnish—the boy acclaimed to have been sent by Lakshmi herself? But that was not what made him return so proudly. In fact, I myself was not quite so sure why he returned so proudly. Or for that matter, where he had returned from. We, the quli, had not enough eyes nor ears to remember where he was. Neither had lady Padma given us instructions to watch him. Now, though, it was hard to not look at him. 118

There was both a feeling of joy and horror as I looked to him. No one could help but smile at his smile, since it always looked so content with the world, so sure of life and invincible. Yet below, his kameez and patloon were no longer any distinguishable colour, drenched in every sort of filth imaginable. Over his shoulder, he rested a great stick, which precariously held onto all sorts of unimaginables—perhaps once leaves or flowers now mearly petals drenched in all shades of mud. If this was not master Rama and lady Padma’s son, I would have laughed, “Now that is how a boy must live,” 119

Instead, I stood and watched as several maidservants swooped him up from his ground, carrying him to the side of the house of white washed walls before Padma could notice. Overwhelmed, he cried out at the sudden splashes of ice cold water that soaked his skin. Many hands worked to peel off his clinging dirt-drenched clothes while others covered his mouth with hushed snaps of “Be quiet!” Their speed was inhuman, and within a few blinks, there was Rajnish with a new identical outfit, clean as though nothing had happened. 120

As if on cue, lady Padma walked out from the door, turned her head to see Rajnish and smiled gently, “There you are, my boy! It is time for your studies,” she urged, leading him up to his room. Frowning, the boy learned never to return with dirty clothes.121

The house of white washed walls felt as though it was moving. Perhaps that was because everyone within it was moving, frantically carrying dishes of naan and raita across the tiled floors. Padma emerged from the stairs, draped in a sari of goldenrod, shining as though truly made of light. Her fragile hand parted through the crowds with ease, gliding over to her room with a smile, leaving the countless chores to be done behind her. 122

Rajnish trailed behind her, pulling on his new stiff outfit with slight annoyance. His short head quickly dissolved into the masses of servants, carrying towering jugs of drinks and sauces from room to room. His battle through tides of his elders was trying, yet he struggled out, faithfully following his Mataji. 123

The sound of a bell came from the front door, bringing a sudden pause to all the movement of the room. “The first guest is here!” lady Padma declared in joy, rushing to the door with graceful steps. 124

“Aapka swaagat hai!” she declared in a sweeping voice, her sharp turned up nose high in dignity. Welcome!125

The couple stood at the doorway, a living example of complete opposites. Her squat form stood heads below his tall, thin frame. Yet the two were clearly of a noble class. “Namaste,” the man replied in politeness. 126

“Come in, come in!” Padma’s hostess nature filled her as she gestured the path for the two new guests through the sea of servants. But their interest was not in entering the home. 127

“So this is the Rajnish?” the woman asked, her voice on the edge of shrill as she bent to examine the boy. She was hardly taller than him. 128

A sharp hit in the back brought Rajnish to mutter, “Haan, Shreematee,” Yes ma’am. 129

From above, the man looked down with the corner of his eyes. Rajnish noticed in awe the turban that was wrapped so delicately around his head, shining against his tanned skin. His wiry black beard that he stroked from time to time also had the boy’s attention. “Have you been maintaining your studies, boy?” he asked after some time. 130

“Haan, Shree,” Yes, sir It tasted bland in his throat. 131

“What have you learned so far?” 132

The words caught the boy off guard. No one had ever asked him such a question before. Unsure of how to answer, he replied vaguely, “I can write in Devanagari—“133

“No, no,” the man frowned sharply, stopping the strokes of his beard. “What have you learned?” 134

Silence was his only reply. 135

He turned to Padma. “Has he been taught nothing of why he is here? Why all gather to meet him?”136

“Of course he knows,” she turned to her son, her once sweet face suddenly souring. That was her two faced nature. “Recite to them the slokam of Lakshmi,” her eyes had turned to the firm fire they rarely held. 137

With a gulp, Rajnish recalled when he burned the slokam and sutra of Lakshmi, practically cursing the goddess he was supposed to worship. A word or two rang through his mind, but then it stopped, shattering to the floor, and he was left with nothing but empty thoughts. Embarrassment and fear pushed at his heart, making the beats slowly increase. 138

“om mahaa lakshmi—” he began nervously, feeling a sudden sting in his back. “Ah!” 139

The woman’s thick eyebrows rose. “He does not even know the Lakshmi Gayathri ?” Padma’s cheeks quickly turned to a scarlet hue of hidden rage. “He is the one called Lakshmi’s gift and yet, he knows not even one slokam or sutra of hers?” 140

The younger looked up at the adults crowding around him, asking with wide eyes, “Lakshmi’s gift?” He had heard many tales of the woman with many arms and lotus blossoms, and had heard that Mataji had heard her voice, but he had never heard that before. 141

Letting out an exasperated sigh, the stout woman demanded, “He does not even know that? Then what does the boy know?” 142

“He is my son and will know what I tell him!” 143

Silently, he watched the discussion rage into argument.144

Furiously, the man silenced the two women. Even Rajnish could feel a chill rush down his spine. Bending down, the man said in a cracking voice, “You are the gift of Lakshmi, for you were given by her to your mataji, who heard her voice. Not every woman hears the voice of Lakshmi,” That was news to Rajnish. He just assumed every woman who was going to have a baby was told by Lakshmi beforehand. “She even made it a divine promise through the gift of a lotus blossom,” he stroked the greying black hairs. “There is a reason you were sent among us—much you can learn that other men cannot. You must live up to your name as Lakshmi’s gift,”145

The boy let the words soak into his chest. He had forgotten how to breathe. Living up to the name of Lakshmi…Never had a single thought questioned why he was treated the way he was. For him, that was normalcy. But, in reality, it was because he was to live as a god?146

“How would you like some freshly brewed tea?” Padma asked, half in desperation to change the topic, and half in sincere hospitality. The couple eagerly accepted, following her towards the sitting room, forgetting of Rajnish, the child of the gods.147

His smile had the radiance of a hundred stars, boldly contending against the arrogant moon. That is, if any could make him smile just once more. It had been weeks since Padma had seen his smile, the golden smile, and she quickly began to worry. 148

It was the first time she directly approached me. Not us, her servants, but me solely. “What is wrong with the boy?” she asked, concern eating away at her melodic voice. 149

“He is a young boy,” I laughed, “They all have their times like this,” Memories of my own boyhood came to mind. 150

She didn’t seem satisfied. “But-he has never had anything like this before. He has always enjoyed what has been given him,”151

“Give him time,” I advised, slowly making my way to the home. 152

It seemed as though at that very moment, she realized she was listening to the advice of her servant, which made all that I had just said completely worthless, leading her to walk towards her nearest friends’ houses. 153

Only a few minutes of walking led me to notice the face of all this trouble. There was the young master himself, Rajnish. My eyes widened at the sudden change in him. His white shirt and pants had spots of mud all over them, not missing his face either. His coal black hair ran in every direction, stuck together by more splatters of common mud. Of course, for any other boy, this would be a perfectly natural scene. But Rajnish? I had seen this boy since his birth, and never had he been allowed, let alone seemingly desired, to live any sort of normal life. The expectations of destiny layed out in front of him before his own choosing…154

“Quli,” he looked up at me from his spot on the ground. Servant. “What is it like—being in and out of the house all day?”155

“Kya?” What?156

“To live free,” he replied solemnly. “To live beyond four painted walls,” 157

“Well let me ask you something then. What is it like to live in the dreams of all the men of India?” 158

He sighed the sigh young boys give when they already know all of life’s answers. “Men in India have foolish dreams,” 159

“No, its very reasonable,” I bent down to look on his eye level. “There are few things that all men in the world want, but one of them is wealth and riches. You’ve never had to work a moment, but you already have all of that,”160

He looked up at me as though he could not comprehend. “It feels nice to get dirty,” he said suddenly, and then was when I realized that the young Rajnish had missed something terribly important in his brief life. 161

Eyes scanned the characters over and over again, yet he still could not remember their words. A light breeze lazily made its way into the room of bright red walls, yet it melted in the newly-found tension. Devanagari letters wove sutra after sutra—Sutras he was supposed to know within an hours’ time—sutras he was expected to know from birth, being the “Gift of Lakshmi”. 162

With every passing moment, his distaste for both Lakshmi and the name “Lakshmi’s gift” grew greater and greater. The words were too famililar; he heard them nearly every minute. If it were not for the goddess, perhaps he could live a life of freedom, a normal life. But instead, every day brought new demands for new sutras and slokams to be put to memory, history and myths to be retold, and skills to be honed. Each sutra he recopied was an inward curse to the goddess who laid this burden upon him. 163

“Recite,” the tutor snapped, eyeing the lad with impatient expectations. Padma looked above his shoulder to see her son, Rama her husband waiting with a risen brow. 164

With an inward sigh, he began:165

Aadhilakshmi namasthaesthu parabrahma swaroopini166

yaso daehi dhanam daehi sarvakaamaamcha daehimae…167

Sounds rushed into each other until his mind froze, and every word and prayer escaped his memory. Searching for the words, he paced around a small square of his room, eyes shut tight, thinking. The few that gathered in his room blankly waited for him to continue, for he surely would. He was the gift of the lotus!168

“I…cannot remember,” he sheepishly shrugged, embarrasement flowing through his veins with a tinge of guilt. 169

“You—can not remember?” Padma stood outraged. “How many times a day have you been drilled on these verses?”170

“…many, many times,” his head lowered, growing red. 171

Shaking her head in astonishment, Padma opened her tight jaw, about to speak when the tutor interrupted with a new topic, “Then tell us of the dances of Lord Shiva,” Three sets of eyes bore into his skull. 172

Of course, another bundle of information he presumably knew. A number popped into his mind. 108. “One hundred and eight,” 173

“…” Rama and Padma turned their glances to each other, both inwardly doubting that this was their son. 174

“…One hundred and eight what, Rajnish,” 175

“Postures,” 176

“And they are?” 177

“…” his mind pulled through every file and memory, trying to remember something—anything. “With Vishnu, himself, and Parvati,” The most likely choices. The images of the united Shiva and Parvati reminded him. 178

“And they are?” 179

Improvised answers served him no longer, considering no more thoughts were in his mind. Rajnish fell into a dulled stupor. “…” 180

Silence awaited him. 181

“I…do not know,” he admitted in defeat, trying terribly hard to not envision the consequences for his words. 182

Yet even in his ignorance, the tutor kept asking him all sorts of questions, quizzing him on every aspect of knowledge. It was a deadly torture, for he knew very few answers, as though the tutor was trying to stretch out the pain and shame before his parents. If it would just be over…183

Mid sentence, lady Padma stood up, soft lines in her face hardened in disappointed rage. “I am most displeased,” she stated the obvious, turning to leave. Rama stared after her in disbelief, yet in turning back to the tutor and pupil, he found no reason to stay and took his leave. 184

An unnatural silence filled into the room once more. The tutor took in hand a scroll or two, then turned to the boy with a hurried look, “If you had not already guessed, your lessons will be intensified. You have learned nothing,” and followed suit, leaving Rajnsih alone in his room. That is, all except me, who had waited by the door alongside Padma and Rama. Seeing no reason to stay, I turned to leave as well…185

“Quli,” he did not turn, but his voice was urgent and desperate. My steps froze in their place, and anticipation gripped me as no words continued. 186

About to try to leave once more, his voice emerged from the darkness in a sudden flash, “Bring me some water,” 187

The serious, strict tone surprised me, yet I let out a breath of relief. “As you wish,” I replied, feet rushing down the stair way. An empty, hollow tone was left behind me, a sort of sorrow I could not comprehend. It was in the silence of failure. 188

The smile returned in all of its outer brilliance, and lady Padma was pleased. However, those of us with a keen eye could detect the false shimmer in his face. There was little joy in his heart. 189

Rajnish’s days melted one into the other to the point where I lost all count, and months seemed to be nothing more than moments, all falling into some sort of conglomeration of nothingness. Every meal, he ate more and more, bringing complaints from the quli who cooked and prepared the dishes. And every other day, he seemed to be taller and taller than the last. That was how the youth were—always maturing so fast. My age was beginning to show itself as well. 190

Yet there was something missing, even amidst his utopian life: the reason to live. 191

For me, it was rather simple. I was a quli, a servant for life. It was both my duty and my destiny. I never questioned it, nor rebelled, nor desired any sort of change. It was, in my eyes, the way life was supposed to be. If I did a fair job in all things, perhaps I would be rewarded. And for that, I had some sort of hope. 192

But earthly rewards meant nothing to the boy—no riches, wealth or knowledge—for he already had it all., The one thing he did long for was out of any reach: freedom. Every motion and word hinted at the new found reality that there was a world beyond the house of white washed walls—a world barred from his grasp. A world he wanted to reach out and touch, even if there would be a prick. 193

He had never stepped beyond the property. When Padma wasn’t looking, he crept to the edge of the trimmed grass, passing still ponds of lily pads, looking out into the lands beyond. Yet a glass wall kept him in. 194

Imprisoned in the Room of Red Lilies, he always sent a glare towards the piles of worthless gold, jewels and tapestries. What was he to do with them? Rajnish had no interest in their shimmers or earthly value. 195

He tried to explain it once to lady Padma. “What did the givers expect me to do with it?” 196

Her gasp echoed over a thousand hills. It seemed so rudimentary, “Why—you look at them, display them, honor them, of course,” 197

“What reason is there for that?” 198

A hand as cold as the bottom of a lake slapped itself across his face like a dead fish. He recoiled in surprise. “Any man in India would give his life for just a speck of your gifts,” she turned to the pile of unwanted gifts. “Yet you toss them aside as though they are nothing,” 199

“They are nothing…” he mumbled so subtly she did not notice. 200

“Do you not realize what you are?” she pleaded with her eyes, clearly disappointed yet equally angered. “You were sent by Lakshmi, and all of India waits to see what you will become! They honor you with all that they have,” 201

“But I am only human!” his inner thoughts echoed off his lips. 202

Clearly, Padma was thrown back. “You have the help of the gods,” 203

“I am still only human! Have you not already seen?” 204

Voice low, intending to end this discussion, Padma replied, “You will be of the gods,” 205

The new scent of autumn filled the open halls as Durga Puja was approaching. The new cool air that filled the lands was supposed to calm one, and yet, a new tencious spirit arose from the house of white washed walls. The worship of our goddess Durga was supposed to be much more relaxed than the other festivals throughout the year, preparation wise. Yet Padma insisted that our pandal idol be the most elaborate in all of Bombay. So thus the light of Durga Puja was in that of all the other stressful festivals, where we the quli were sent to make the time most honorable for the gods. Then our masters would receive their blessings. 206

“He must go out for Durga Puja,” Rama’s deep voice could be heard through the walls. 207

“But-“ Padma tried to protest.208

“He will have to see the outside world at some point in time-“209

“Must he?” 210

“…that is how the human life is,”211

“He is more than human; he should not have to be with their-“212

“He is, and will always be human,” Rama’s words were the final law, one which Padma had no power to protest against. So that was why Rajnish was found sitting at the doorstep on the third day Navami, looking around curiously for what was going on. 213

“Quli!” he turned to me as I passed through with a jar of paints. “What is happening?” 214

“We are finishing the pandal,”215

“Pandal?” 216

“It is for the goddess Durga,” I laid down the jug. “Her nine days have begun,” 217

“But what is a pandal?” he repeated, eyes eager. 218

“It can be anything,” I shrugged, not quite sure how to define the structure dedicated to Durga. “But your mataji asked that we build one that is extra special this year,” 219

“Ah,” Enlightenment filled his features. “I see,” 220

”Young Rajnish!” Padma gripped her boy’s hand firmly. “We should leave now,” her actions were forced and rushed as she dragged him through the door onto the dirt path ahead. 221

~222

Many lights blinded his view. He did not know so many lights existed, save the heavens which outshone any imaginable light. The number of voices overwhelmed his mind, taking one step at a time. He quickly forgot his mother’s hand, entranced in the new world that surrounded him. Trying to listen to every conversation, his head turned back and forth, also eyeing the bright colours and curious shapes of the various pandals. 223

“Good food, good price!” A voice boomed from next to him. Rajnish turned instantly to see the smoke rise from a food stand. The new scents tempted him, yet Padma’s grip was strong, pulling him to walk faster. 224

“Why do you walk so fast, mataji?” he complained, trying to follow. 225

“There is nothing to see here. Keep moving,” her words were succinctly chopped off as she strode forward through crowd after crowd. 226

Everything stimulated his young mind—the scents, the voices, the colours of hand-woven saris, the lights on the pandals. There were so many! There were domed pandals; others shaped as Western castles, towering above the street signs, pandals that looked as though of other worlds; and all of them were so intricately painted, often bearing the image of the ten-armed goddess. But there was one that caught Rajnish’s eye above them all. 227

“Mataji!” he shouted, pointing a finger in delight. “Look at that one!” 228

She turned her head quickly to see where he was pointing. Confused, she realized he was pointing at the smallest, simplest of all the pandal structures. “Which one?”229

“That one!” he repeated, pointing to the same building. Its colour was of a simple brown, traced around a single entrance. No images of Durga, nor any trace of gold or silver, was found from the surface. “May we look inside?”230

Astonished and unable to understand, Padma led him in the opposite direction. “You must see our pandal”231

She did not have to lead him far for him to see the soaring tips of the structure. It was remarkably huge, inspiring awe in all who passed its three entrances. The paint was of every tint of the rainbow, blended together in perfected unity. A figure of Durga emerged from the highest point, stretching out each of her ten arms over the land. He could even see her three eyes from so far above, beautifully traced in scarlet inks. It surely took more than the household quli to build this piece. 232

In his amazement of its vast size, he was speechless. Yet that was the only aspect that interested the boy concerning the expanding pandal. “Is it not the loveliest one in all of Bombay?” she asked with pride. “It was your father’s design. I suggested the image of Durga on top,” 233

“It’s nice,” he honestly replied with no particular enthusiasm. 234

Padma noticed. “You do not like it? Why not? It’s dedicated to you!” she frowned at her son. “It is a great honor!” 235

“I like the other Pandal,” 236

“The other pandal?” she asked skeptically. “What does that one have that this one does not?” 237

“Everything,” 238

Padma scrutinized her son with all that was within her. But she could not understand his words. In moments such as these, she wondered if he had a philosophical mind. “Everything? What is everything?”239

“Someone’s everything. Their heart. Their love,” he frowned, thinking his mataji should understand. “All that their time and money. Don’t you understand, Mataji?”240

“But…it is so dull,” she pushed her nose up in disgust. “Lakshmi will never even notice it,” 241

“It was built with real devotion,” Such strong words for such a young boy. “Surely the Lady of the Lotus honors that more than riches,” 242

Padma was blessed with the looming shadows of the evening, for the embarrassment of being corrected by her own son showed over her face. Surprised, she noted, He sees what few men will ever understand.243

In the farthest corner of the home, there rested a room secluded from the rest of the world. Padma called it “The Room of A Hundred Holy Candles”. She forbid any of us from entering, and had even installed a western door on it with a lock. Rarely did any even pass that hallway, yet no one dared to ask what lay in there. 244

Padma later described the room as a room burdened with smoke. Tens and thousands of incense sticks were spread in every corner of the closet-sized room, always burning and letting off a sickeningly sweet aroma. For light in the windowless space, there were a hundred candles burning, hardly glowing through the thick smoke. Old wooden shelves held golden entities, surrounded by beautifully detailed yet peeling paintings. Not a word of hers slipped through the walls. 245

In times of distress, Padma locked herself away in the Room of A Hundred Holy Candles. Eyes gliding to the figures and glow of flames, her prayers would fall from her tongue into a great rush of words, lifted to her Devis. Hours and hours could be filled with her innumerable sutras and prayers. 246

One day when the sun hung gently in the sky, and the earth seemed outwardly pleased, the mistress rushed with an angered air into her Room of A Hundred Holy Candles. The slam of the door could be heard from every room in the house of white washed walls. In a simple moment, the day’s beauty and perfection was shattered. 247

Her knees fell to the worn mat, eyes closing slowly. 248

Aum Bhur Bhuva Svaha249

Tat Savitur Varenyam250

Spirit focused on her mantra, she did not notice when a shelf on the wall began to tremor. 251

Bhargo Devasya Dhimahi252

It grew louder under her chants.253

Dhiyo Yo Nah Prachodayat,254

The sound of gold rippling off the floor echoed in the tiny room. Then another. And another. Soon, all of the gold figures that had lined the wall were on the floor, followed by the wooden shelf in a thundering crash. Startled, her words stopped as she looked in confusion and fear. Her eyes were like those of a hunted rabbit. 255

In the centre of the golden figures lay Lakshmi, faced up, the candle glowing off her skin in a terrifying shadow. Fearfully, Padma arose and drew closer to it. To her surprise, all of the figures seemed alright, not even bearing a scratch. Yet her eyes of spice drifted to the center piece of Lakshmi, whose arm had broken clean off. The other three stayed in tact, yet she noticed that the one that did break off was the arm that bore the lotus blossom. Perhaps it was the smoke of incense and candles that added to the moment, but a fear suddenly gripped at Padma’s heart as she rushed out of the room, leaving the fallen idol behind on the tiled floor. 256

He was gone. Whispers among the female servants were a constant stream of words, overflowing with the name of the young master Rajnish. I myself was surprised, for where would the boy go? What had made him leave? No one suspected anything, especially not mistress Padma. The pain that stabbed through her heart was clear in the draining of her eyes, which were no longer spices but piles of plain dirt. Within a few days, her closest servant Ankita brought her far away, and we never saw her face again. 257

All sorts of rumors emerged from our group. While some supposed that perhaps Lakshmi had taken Rajnish to meet her in all splendor, others shrugged that too many men disbelieved the myth of “Lakshmi’s gift”, and that he was leaving with Padma to fool a different city and rob them of their treasures. One woman considered Rajnish’s dissatisfaction for this life, thinking of her son who had committed suicide decades ago. Was he kidnapped for his riches? Was he leaving in search of his supposed mother, Lakshmi? Questions were asked, yet no one had answers. 258

There were no clues, no signs. Plans were whispered in the dark, hidden in time, and none of us could know what had happened. The earth was silent. 259

Master Rama hardly spoke (he had hardly spoken before), only wandering the gardens in a distant stupor. That was when he was not out in some distant place. He seemed at peace, bearing a sort of archaic smile, as though he were facing death yet did not mind. We rarely saw his face. 260

I tried to remember life before the loss of our other two masters. All of it was but a distant, hazy dream—drifting in and out of memory like a ghost, until all I could remember were the shining eyes of Rajnish. His inner passion was one that was impossible to forget. Yet its absence seemed to drain the world of all light…261

Sunlight glided over the endless miles of brown houses, yet it never seemed to land on anyone in particular. Not a leaf wavered, and not a sound was whispered from the trees. The earth was still.262

Rajnish stared into the fog-shaded sun, waiting for a moment to slip into the woods. I knew this, for I noticed many things about the boy that the other quli did not, yet I never spoke. The boy should enjoy the last years of childhood left. 263

When he supposed no one was looking, he dashed for the edge of the clustered trees, sun-darkened skin melding into the canopy of shadows. Every day he came here, always to the same tree. The rice powder circle on the ground was hardly visible, yet still there. He smiled at realizing it had been five years since he first drew it. 264

“Chander!” he called out softly, a flicker of an echo bouncing through the trees. No sound replied. Frowning, he tried once more. “Chander! Come out! Its me, Rajnish!” Still no sound. Chander always comes… he mused Something is wrong…265

Peering into the empty trunk of the tree, he looked for anything that would explain Chander’s absence. There was nothing but a few eaten away stalks of bamboo. Rajnish’s heart raced. His only friend in this empty world…gone. 266

He circled around the trees. “Chander! Chander!” he called, but he was met with only more silence. Standing in the center of the shadows, divided by a small patch of light, he called out angrily, “Must you take it all, Lakshmi?” Kicking a pebble, he realized it was growing late and rushed towards the house. 267

There was still no sign of Chander. At dinner, it was clear he was preoccupied with wandering thoughts. “What troubles you, young Rajnish?” mistress Padma asked sullenly. 268

“Nothing,” he muttered the typical response, folding a piece of naan bread back and forth. 269

“You cannot lie to me,” Padma looked up from the meal into her son’s eyes. “Tell me what ails you,”270

“It is foolish, childish,” he covered. 271

“Let it leave you then. Tell me.”272

Seeing no way around this conversation, he replied reluctantly, “I lost something I saw as precious,”273

Her well trimmed eyebrow rose. “Something precious? What was it? Surely it can be replaced within a few moon’s time!”274

“It cannot be replaced,” 275

“Anything can be replaced, young Rajnish. Anything,” 276

“Can a friend be replaced?” he muttered vainly.277

She thought for a moment. “There are many who will gladly be a friend to you, if you have the riches—“278

“Can it be the same?”279

Surprisingly, she smiled knowingly. “At times, there is a moment to move on from such childish pastimes…In life, there is no need for such things as ‘friends’,” 280

From the distance dividing them, Rajnish’s bold eyes widened. “To…move on?” he spat out in disbelief. Every bit of false pleasantness from the room began to drain, making the afternoon suddenly fall under the shadows of night. 281

“The gifts suited for you as a child have outgrown you,” her smile was passive, “It is time for you to become what you were born to be,” 282

“You took Chander?” he demanded. 283

Even in his out of place rage, she smiled as though there was not a problem. “He was never hidden from me,” 284

“You—you took him?” He tried to process it, but nothing came. “Where is he?” 285

“He is where he belongs,” 286

“Where?” the rage crept into the boy’s voice. 287

“He came so peacefully…” she mused with a tint of devilish evil in her look. “Just sitting under the tree trunk, as if waiting loyally for a master to return…”288

“Tell me!” 289

“It looked as though he did not even feel the blow,” she reminisced. “For a moment, I wondered if he was remaining among the living,” 290

“You killed him?”291

“It was his time,”292

“YOU killed him!” Fury escalated to the point of Rajnish rising, striding towards his mother with clenched fists. On impulse, he rose the brazen knuckles towards her delicately painted face-293

Though her temper was her trademark, Padma was not moved by her son’s actions. Instead, she held out a smooth palm before his fist and assured him, “The gods need no company,” His fist dropped, falling limply to his side in defeat and shock. The world was a cruel place, he realized. 294

The Sankam…I sighed. Could that have really led the boy to leave?295

That had only been a few weeks ago, I remembered. A few weeks could do much to this home. In a few weeks, the glowing light of Rajnish was blackened. He was a boy; we assumed he would move on. We never expected literally. In a few weeks, lady Padma was much more calm and gentle, as if she knew a secret we could never know. And in a few weeks time, from something, there was suddenly nothing. 296

“Look! Look!” the servant Ankita’s voice flickered from the nothingness. All flocked over to the small woman until she was only found by her rising voice. “Its from the young master!”297

The other women peered over her shoulder, trying to read the words on the page. But not one could read. Only Ankita, in her esteemed position as the one called Daas, respected servant, could read devanagari script. As soon as a large enough group was gathered around, she began to read:298

My name is Rajnish, yet I lord over no one. I am only human, and never hope to be a god. To see beyond this land of greed, however, is my only wish. Please grant it to me, as “Lakshmi’s gift,” 299

There were no words to explain the letter, yet it made perfect sense. With no more to see, we returned to our daily tasks with suspicions confirmed: this place would no longer have its light. 300

PART II: THE WORLD BEYOND301

The dirt path seemed to stretch for miles and miles. Resting on the horizon, he was sure he saw the outlines of the market where he had seen the pandals a year ago. Yet the lonely fields of Padma and Rama’s land continued on, and the market was still just a dot. A golden sun stung his eyes. Never before had he felt such heat press against his body. The shade of the house of white washed walls was behind him. Never again would he return. Now, he was to find freedom. Now, he was to be human. 302

No one could know him as “Rajnish: the Gift of Lakshmi”. Stepping out into this world, he could start anew, how he wished to—as another human. This idea possessed him so hastily that he found himself on this dirt path only minutes after getting the idea. 303

Yet reality hit him in a blinding flash. “Where…am I going? What am I doing?” he asked himself in a whisper, his feet grinding to a hasty stop. He was still a boy in the eyes of the world, and more importantly, he knew nothing of the world. How was he to walk alone in something he was ignorant of? With a sigh of defeat, he nearly turned around towards the towering home of white washed walls. 304

A strong breeze blew past him, as if trying to turn his body towards the market behind him. Eyes falling towards the place he was headed, he felt some sort of power call him towards the falling splendor. Pulled between the two, he finally resolved to continue on, waiting for some purpose to come to him. 305

After some time, he realized that he was in fact moving forward and that the market was closer and closer. Its size took away his short breaths. Building after building stretched out into the earth, never having any reason to stop. Reaching towards the heavens, they only grew taller and taller. Awed by the sight, he took a deep breath and entered the market. 306

The undistinguishable sounds only grew louder and louder as he passed the first stands. TO his left, an outdated c-d player boomed popular bhangra hits. The melodies so well known to the people here were foreign to his ears, having only heard occasional traditional songs. Voices came from every direction. Memories of the Durga Puja were reawakened, feeling as though he were still a child. The smell of freshly made shishka-bobs tempted him all around, yet he continued onward. 307

The portrait before him held so much, yet only so little could he remember. Before him was a wall of people, some on bikes, yet most on feet, trudging the over crowded streets. In the distance, he was sure he saw the movements of dance. Every sound from the squeals of young children, hardly able to walk, to the cries of caged animals to the voices of old and young men conversing reached his ears, and he wished he could understand what each of them was saying. 308

In his small bag, he held some rupees and gold coins, along with a small figure of Lakshmi, which jingled with his every step. Where was he going? He himself was not quite sure. The idea entertained him rather than troubled him. Yet, at the same time, he was sure that there was something here that would make him free. 309

Hours were spent as he wandered, for there was no particular place for him to go. He thought he would reach an end at some point, yet the dirt path continued on through streams of muddied buildings. He would never comprehend its vastness. 310

“You!” his inner thoughts were shattered. “Come! Buy!” 311

Rajnish turned in surprise, slowly walking over towards the stand. The informality caught him off guard. 312

“This is just for you!” he urged with his daily ploys, gesturing towards piles of Arabian rugs. “You can have many great riches-“313

At this, Rajnish’s thick eyebrow rose. Many riches… There are few things that all men in the world want, but one of them is wealth and riches. Were these truly man’s desires? He hid his laugh at the irony of having already possessed these things all of his life. But how was this man supposed to know that? 314

…315

This man did not know of his riches. He did not know that his name was Rajnish. He was not recognized as “Lakshmi’s Gift”. That concept nearly blew him away. There were some who did not think of him as some god? If that were so, here was a place where no constant expectations would be put upon his back. Perhaps, he had found a place where he could be truly free. 316

Darkness began to fall towards the ground, making the sights before him blend into the horizon of nothingness. It was only moments before the streets seemed completely bare. The faces that surrounded him as he passed by all had a sort of look of fear. Expressions of anxiety and nervous looks towards the endless sky—it was almost a juvenile fear of the night. A few swift moments threw closed the shades over doorways and windows, along with the shuffling away of carts and kiosks. With teach passing minute, another shadow grew. In silent fear, they rushed away. 317

Yet he knew nothing, yet cared nothing for the darkness. A few peeks from doorways watched in surprise as the foreigner guided himself across the unknown path drenched in night. He had no fear of what may lurk behind shadows, for what could he loose? His riches meant nothing; he never wanted them. To have them taken from him would have been a blessing. Death brought no fear to him either, for what could be so bad about the next life? But that was not the heart of the issue. In his heart, Rajnish never knew fear. 318

Padma had never taught him the word. What would there be to fear if he was the gift of the goddess? Behind his four walls, he knew nothing. Nurtured in naivety, Rajnish shrugged at the words “death” and “robbery”. They were from a distant word—a world that was not his own. But once he had stepped into that world, nothing could be the same.319

However, he continued walking blindly as though in the comfort of his smaller world. Eyes watched him in surprise, yet he was unaware of their gaze, following the few flickers from the highest points of the browning homes. 320

“What are you doing?” One tradesman finally snapped. 321

Rajnish stopped, looking at him confused. “What do you mean?” 322

“You dare to tread through darkness? Rahu rules these lands at night,” he whispered harshly.323

“Rahu?” Rajnish shrugged, “I have no reason to fear him,”324

At these words, the man’s expression melted in surprise. Who could not fear the gods? When the man said nothing coherent, Rajnish continued onward, unsure of where to follow yet confident. Behind him the man muttered to others inside, “That boy is a fool,” Yet when daylight came the next morning, he was alive and well, no harm brought upon him. 325

“You are the lord of night,” one vender jested as she took the money Rajnish handed her. “For in the past, every night that one has wandered alone on our streets, he has never returned.”326

Rajnish frowned, taking up a bag of food, “Why is that, do you think?” 327

She shook her head sadly. “No one knows. We believe it is Rahu, the god of darkness, taking those who do not fear his power. Yet you were spared,” her deep eyes scrutinized him carefully. “You are very different. What is your name?” 328

Too hastily, he replied, “Rajnish,” 329

At first, she blinked in surprise at the coincidence. But then, taking it as a joke, she laughed, “Surely you are Rajnish, lord of the night! The name suits you!” 330

Having quickly rebuked himself for giving away his real name (for none could know him for his former life!), he jumped at her jesting laugh, as if she did not believe… He was not sure whether to be insulted, as those of his class should have been, or overjoyed at the preservation of his second chance. Following her suit, he grinned. “That’s what they call me—Rajnish,” 331

His legs were weary with constant walking. Never before had he walked so long and so far… In the corner of his eye, Rajnish noticed a light. Beyond his control, he felt himself drawn to the waning flickers. At the doorstep, a conglomeration of sounds poured into the streets. Praying that his impulse was wise, he stepped into the warmth. 332

At his presence, all of time stopped. The voices screeched to a sudden holt, eyes leaving each other to turn to the new visitor. Smoke hovered towards the low roof. If only it would hide me, he mused for a moment. In the small room, Rajnish felt the fire of stares push him towards the door. 333

Out from the silence, a voice emerged, “Run home, young boy. This place is not for you,” A few deep laughs followed. 334

Ignoring the jeers, Rajnish continued across the room. “I am looking for a place to stay,” he asked the man behind a western sort of counter, made of glass like wood. 335

The man rose a thick, untamed eyebrow at the young man’s words. His protruding stomach moved as he replied in surprise, “There is a room above,” he pointed to a narrow stairway in the corner. 336

Silently, Rajnish pulled out his pouch of rupees, pouring out a small pile of the coins. The men gathered around from all corners of the room looked on with surprise, a few murmuring undefined words amongst themselves. Heading towards the flight of stairs, Rajnish stopped at the voice that called from among the mutterings, “Come here, boy,” 337

“…” he turned to face the voice. The face was thin and pointed, eyes unnaturally dark, as if reflecting his innermost soul. His hair was roughly trimmed with a short beard. But there were his eyes again, skeptically analyzing all that was around him. A shiver of fear and annoyance ran down Rajnish’s spine.338

After looking at the young man for some time, he asked “Do you believe you are truly strong?”339

“…” With self restraint, Rajnish simply looked at him with the foreign longing to punch him straight in the face. 340

“Only a boy with the belief he is strong would come here to pay for a room,” 341

“…” 342

“Answer me,” the man challenged. His smirk curled on the ends of his short beard. 343

“I am Rajnish,” he replied unusually coldly, turning back towards the stairs. A roar of laughter arose from the crowd of men, laughing at the outspoken remark towards an elder. Yet the man who had spoken to the boy had a look of deep thought drawn across the crease of his forehead, watching after the boy, finding some correlation between a long lost memory…What was so familiar about that boy?344

Many riches you will find345

Every wish of heart’s desire346

From slumber rise to unbound dreams347

This is your night, oh young Rajnish!348

“Rajnish…” The pieces fat together in his mind. “This is the one they called ‘Lakshmi’s Gift!’” he noted with a smirk, yet his voice was lost amongst the laughter of many foolish men. 349

~350

Up the short flight of stairs, Rajnish was greeted by a large yet worn brown cushion, an island in a sea of dust. Meager furniture was scattered across the tiny space. He cringed in shock. Was this how the normal man lived? 351

Even in such a small room, Rajnish’s first thought was I am now alone. The rough hand carved furniture gave no condolences. For the first time in his life, he realized this in sorrow. Once, even in that reality, he had something to turn to. Now there was nothing. 352

Pulling out his statuette of Lakshmi, he turned it in his hands. Even in the dim light, her fierce eyes shimmered with an unearthly brilliance. It almost made him shiver in either fear or disgust. “Many a man would think himself in company to hold you in his hands…” he mused, remembering his mother’s fierce worship of the goddess of wisdom. “But I have never felt more alone,” With a seemingly accidental slip, he let the gold figure drop to the floor with a strong clash. To the side of her head, a shard of gold shimmered. It was the lotus that once rested in her palms. “You have never given me anything,” He allowed his mind to recall the emptiness he had quickly found in the goddess…353

“Many riches will be yours one day,” Padma’s soft hand parted through her son’s hair. 354

“Then what’s all this?” he observed in confusion.355

“Even more will come to you.”356

“How much more?”357

“Until you are happy,” 358

That answer surprised the young boy, “Happy?”359

“Why of course, my silly child!” Padma laughed lightly, “Lakshmi wants you to be happy, for she is the goddess of wealth!” 360

He seemed to think on this for a rather long time. “Is that all I need to be happy?”361

“It is what satisfies every man,” Padma rustled his hair softly, turning to leave. For a while, he believed her with naïve trust. All the same, he felt no more satisfied. 362

“All you have spoken is lies!” he glared, taking up the fractured figure, and throwing it down from the window onto the streets below. “Perhaps you will please another,” he muttered, turning to his room. 363

Powerless and exhausted, the boy reluctantly fell onto the bed, letting sleep take hold of him. Below, to his mind’s solace, the Lakshmi statue rested in shambles. It never stirred. 364

Morning lights streamed across his face. The perfection of the morning was so clear…too clear. It was as if Chander himself had remained into the sunrise, spreading his glory as soft as moonlight into every corner of the world. The eerie silence that had filled his past was gone, now replaced by the sounds of people he had never met, carrying on with daily tasks. When his eyes opened, the world looked in a way he had never seen it before: beautiful. He wondered if such a thing was possible. 365

With a stiff back, he managed to descend down the stairs, curiousity taking a hold on him. This day was too beautiful to not take advantage of; perhaps walking around would give him ideas of what to do with this new found life. He had to remind himself with a grimace, he could not stay here much longer. Perfected dreams could only last so long, that is, until one wakes up. But one always wakes up, no matter how much he may wish not to.366

Hundreds of Bollywood songs played from broken players, trying to drown out the voices of animals and begging children, running through the alleyways with muddied feet. Every scent melded unnaturally, yet he was adjusting to that. That was what the market was—a place where everything could come together, yet be completely natural. 367

It had only been a day but Rajnish had grown to like the small marketplace. He was a stranger in these crowds, yet, the idea pleased him. He liked to live as a normal human—to feel dirt and mud cake on his skin, to walk beyond a small walled in courtyard, to feel the warmth of silk cusions—he had senses, unlike before. 368

Lost in thought, the boy quickly turned at hearing a young woman’s voice come from nowhere. “Fuul!” her mutterings were quickly lost in the rising sounds. Across her lap lay hundreds and thousands, or perhaps more, of flower petals. Hair so tangled and matted ran in streaks across her thin face, yet her eyes pierced through. Her eyes were unlike any others, glowing as if two stars rested behind them, trying to shine from beneath. Every colour imaginable lay across her, defining the girl against the dulling backdrop. When the light hit the petals just right, it seemed to form a rainbow. “Fuul!” she repeated, bringing back the dim realities. 369

“How much?” 370

”A rupee for all that you see,” her voice held a broken yet beautiful melody. 371

“Only a rupee?”372

“That is all that I may dare ask,” her eyes reached beyond.373

Reaching through his pocket, Rajnish pulled out a wearing coin purse. From it, he poured a small handful of rupees, handing them to the speechless girl. With the other hand, he grabbed a white blossom. “This is plenty,” 374

At the sight of the many coins, her eyes brightened even more than before. Looking up in disbelief, she stated in a whisper of awe, “This is far too much,” 375

At these words, he almost smiled. Almost like the days of his childhood. “Then see it as a gift,”376

“From whom? The gods?”377

“From one far greater,” he replied carelessly, continuing aimlessly through the convoluted streets. He never saw that flower girl again. 378

But there were many faces, ignoring the flower girl, that he had imprinted in his mind—people he met in what he supposed was day-to-day normalcy. Never did he see them once more, yet every detail of their expressions were embedded in his memories for eternity. What it was, he was not quite sure.379

A man with a silver beard sat in the middle of the path. Parting for his small stand, all continued with their business. It seemed to them perfectly normal, to have an old man sitting alone in the middle of a street. But his tattered clothes told another story. 380

“Alms,” his wrinkled voice called out. “Alms,” 381

The bag of rupees was shrinking, observed Rajnish. Yet he still pulled out a handful of shimmering rupees. “Here,” he handed the man, speaking over the loud moans of cattle. 382

As all of the others whom he had given money had responded, the aged man’s bloodshot pupils widened as if to absorb each coin in fear of it being lost. His quivering fingers held endless treasures. His nearly black head rose to meet his earthly deliverer, but as soon as he had appeared, he was gone. The old man’s mouth hung slightly open, in complete awe. “He must be of the gods,” he mumbled over the creaks of a hundred wheels rolling on through the streets. 383

~384

In his hand, he held five hundred rupees. Hardly much to mention. He fingered each one with disappointment, beginning to think realistically. Where was he going? What was he trying to do? Was he some deliverer for the people? Was that what he wanted to be? How long could he last on this?385

Eyes peered silently from his corner, hidden under the veil of the crowds. It was exactly as they hoped, yet even better. The boy was alone. 386

You are the child of the lotus…a promise sent to us from the Devis…387

We have hopes for you, Rajnish…388

All of India has hopes for you…389

His image of his mother Padma shattered. Her voice had seemed so close, so warm, so comforting, in contrast to the rough streets ahead of him. That was the thought that troubled him most: Padma. Home. Would they come looking for him? Where were they? How were they?390

He tried to stop himself from asking questions.391

He had chosen this path. He had left the riches and splendor of being a god on earth. He came to be human. Mud began to seep into his slippered shoes. He certainly felt human now. 392

The day’s lights were dimming already, bringing a reluctant movement for his feet. A sound of a pebble rolling made him turn his head quickly. Instinct undeveloped in him, he could not react when he felt a hand clasp over his mouth. 393

“The gift of Lakshmi?” a familiar voice snickered. His memories in the tavern were reawakened. “You hardly seem to be a god,”394

“I never was a god,” Rajnish muttered through the tight hand’s grip. 395

“There are no gods,” he scoffed, swiftly grasping for the coin purse. Waiting for the man to leave with the last of his money, Rajnish was surprised to see that he was still awake, grasping his coin purse. Behind him, the man had completely frozen, His breaths hardly discernable, eyes focused on the far off horizon in paralyzed fear. 396

Trying to see what he saw, Rajnish too turned to the distance. Yet there was nothing. Only the waning of light into the reign of night. 397

The man’s hand quickly dropped from the boy’s mouth as he slowly backed away towards the emptying streets. His lips formed a word in the falling darkness, yet no sound left his mouth. Puzzled and troubled, Rajnish quickly left for a street of light. 398

As he walked, he looked down onto his white top. Brushing his hand across the sleeve, he realized he had not been harmed nor even touched at all. As though he had had a barrier protecting him. Yet he saw no heavenly glow, nor felt any other worldly power that would bring him to believe such notions. Even where the large hand had clasped over his mouth only moments before, there was a feeling of purity—as though nothing at all had happened. His eyes wandering to the clusters of golden stars, he smiled to himself and mused, Perhaps I am, in sorts, the Lord of Night. 399

~400

Words spread like a single cough on a furious morning, until all in the area had fallen into a fit of coughs. Every housewife and every vendor whispered about the powers of this “Lord of Night” who walked through the perilous streets in the middle of the night, yet returned unscathed. His almost being robbed made an even more impressive story. 401

“When has any man walked these midnight streets alone and lived to tell of it?” one vendor asked while rolling the batter for some Raj Kachori. 402

“He cannot be mortal,” another remarked. 403

“A gift from the gods…”404

“The Lord of Night…”405

And that was when the pieces fat together. 406

“He must be the young boy Rajnish, the gift of Lakshmi, here among our people!” another vendor saw the revelation. 407

Within that moment, time came to a hasty stop. Though the vendor’s words were meant in all admiration and respect for the one of Lakshmi, eager to see his face, those around him did not feel likewise. With widened eyes of horror, a resting rickshaw driver threw forth, “Here to destroy our people,” For when did the gods come in human form as a blessing? Passing shoppers who heard a word or two of the conversation seemed to feel the same as the rickshaw driver, muttering amongst themselves with warm food in hands, We are all cursed. 408

At the name of Rajnish, all men asked, “Is he a god or a demon?” 409

The morning following the near-robbery, Rajnish arose from his rented room, which ailed of some unearthly pain and burden. Which was his first thought as he arose. “This place…” he struggled to place the words in his tired state, “There is much pain,” It was a pain that he too was discovering, for the first time in his life. Scanning the room with squinted eyes, he tried to find what it was. A couch with worn brown cushions and a limping wooden table, surrounded by voids of space. That was what it was—there was the pain of emptiness. 410

He hoped to start the day as he had in the days before. Rajnish had no real plan for what to do and how to continue on, let alone what to do for the day, but wandering through the streets of this bazaar was how he had started each day before, and it seemed a very good place to start. So he grabbed his leather pouch with care, rushing down to the streets. 411

It was not to be a day as the ones before. As he passed through the streets of the bazaar, he felt the bearing down of hundreds of pairs of midnight eyes, in a mixed air of intreague and terror. Confused, Rajnish worked to ignore their gaze. But he could not. 412

A boy younger than himself emerged from the crowd, chasing a stray animal. Seeing the one called Rajnish, he stopped suddenly, looking up in admiration, “You are the one they call the lord of night?” 413

Not understanding the hidden layer in these words, Rajnish replied, “Yes,” 414

In a mixed look of delight and fear, the young boy muttered, “You are the one they fear,”415

His misunderstanding showed. “The one they fear?”416

“After you maimed that man without a movement!” A twinkling of boy-ish envy shone in his eyes. “They fear you will do the same to them. They fear you are hear to bring the wrath of the gods upon us,” his voice lowered. 417

Filled with shock, Rajnish tried to respond, yet his mouth ended up gaping like a newly caught fish. “Who—fears?” 418

Eyes of endless darkness opened wide to his face, the young boy replied simply, “Why, all of the people here,” 419

He felt the truth of the boy’s words. Everywhere he walked, he could feel their eyes, their whispers, their fear. Smelling the aroma of fresh food, he fingered some coins, handing them to a nearby vendor. Silently, the vendor gave him his food, almost cowering from the young man not even half his age. A subliminal parting of the crowds surrounded him as he wandered in an unknown direction. Though he was in the crowded space of the bazaar, he felt the emptiness of the room he had stayed in. 420

There was, across the masses of people and animals shoving their way for an inch of space, a vacant corner, which housed three broken down crates. In the bustling constant motion of the bazaar, it seemed eerily still and dark. Yet Rajnish still sat down eagerly, fingering a warm Raj Kachori. 421

He remembered having one of these during his one excursion in the Durga Puja. Wrapped within the ball of batter, there was a mix of potato, sweet curd, shao, pomegranate, spices and whatever the vendor chose to throw in. The rainbow of flavors melted together until Rajnish could not tell the difference. But it was still the most delicious treat he had eaten in his life. 422

He wondered how he could enjoy something so simple as a Raj Kachori at a time like this. When all eyes looked upon him in terror. It was as if he were a demon. How could their look on him change so quickly?423

But, as Rajnish soon learned, it was not the gazes that stung so much. 424

From his corner of solitude, there flew something. Something, he was not quite sure of what it was. But whatever it was, it hit the back of his head with a strong thrust, instantly making him rather dizzy. 425

“_____!” a small voice shouted, pebbles bouncing in his palms. “Everyone else might be scared of you, but I’m not! I’ll fight you!”426

Getting tired of the word, Rajnish turned to the younger boy, replying “I am no demon,” 427

“Don’t try to fool me!” the boy threw another pebble. It stung for only a moment. “Demons can disguise themselves in light,”428

“I am no demon!” his voice rose above what he thought it was, which he only noticed when he saw the younger’s tremors. 429

A pebble fell down to the ground. The only sound was the sound of pattering footsteps as far away as his short legs could carry him. And it was in that Rajnish determined, Its time to move on. 430

It was a start. He would spend his days as a jaded traveler. Of course, at the present time, with his white tunic top and pants and still fresh skin, there was nothing jaded about him. But that would come with time. That would be the way he would find his freedom. One bazaar could not contain his spirit, anyways. 431

As he walked, he wondered if this entire world was connected by one single dirt path. For this dirt path was the one that had led from his former home and through the bazaar. The only road he had ever tread upon. On this path alone, could he go across every land?432

You are too young to understand433

May Vishnu guide you through these lands434

His mother’s trance-like song echoed through his mind. He saw her spiced eyes, against the walls of the petals of a handful of red lilies. It seemed as though it was all in a former life. And in a sense, perhaps it was.435

His mother. 436

He realized how quickly he had forgotten the stories of the gods she had told him so long ago. Sutras and mantras drifted vaguely in the back of his thoughts, yet they were far from ad verbatim. They meant nothing anymore.437

Lakshmi. Her fickle nature was known to all. She was good luck, passing and going. Could it be the same with her grace? Was she worthy of his mother’s constant devotion? Is it possible, that she did not exist at all? Perhaps, was it possible that none of the gods existed? What was myth, and what was truth? 438

In the beginning were the waters. 439

Matter readied itself. 440

The sun glowed. 441

And, a lotus slowly opened, holding the universe on its golden pericarp.442

That was what Padma had told him as a child. Never before had he held a doubt. Was there any reason to doubt? That is, until now…443

Rajnish looked out ahead of him to see several clusters on every side. In the center, there rose the beginnings of silver mountains, made by man. The path forked into two ways, dust gently blowing over each. 444

He laughed at the irony. Now was the moment to choose what he was to do—what was he to do? Follow the gods of his childhood, or pursue another way? Freedom? 445

Images of the burning sutras and the fallen Lakshmi idol below his feet flashed into mind. His defiance. Had he truly believed in the gods, even then? 446

At the same time, here he was, a living proof that no Devis had come to strike him for his rude gestures. All around him, others lived in fear of dishonoring their names. Time-honored tradition was hidden in pantries, corners and rooms of incense. The bazaar scattered with those who cowered at any idea of a god or demon. In the house of white washed walls, anything possibly from the gods was worshipped and bathed in a thousand utterances of Om. In this world, there was a constant fear. Emptiness. Just like his previous room. 447

Without another thought or question (they all grew so burdensome), he chose the road closest to him. What that road was, where it led, he had no idea. Neither did he have an answer to his inner entanglement: Are there gods?448

~449

An few hours or so brought him before the man-built lands, purely created by steel and glass. Their thin towering mountains with their clean, new, other worldly look amazed him, especially as he craned his neck to see their heads. But they rose far too high for him to see anything. Below him, the path was rough and firm, as though one large slab of stone. From all sides, there sprung up more and more of those large steel stands, like wizened trees. But there were no trees here. The sun danced off of the vast sheets of glass, blinding his eyes for a few moments. Rajnish stood blankly in place for a very long time, trying to withstand the loud calls of the metal rickshaws and the massive crowds of people, all speaking in different tongues. This was Bombay, the world he had chosen to face. 450

He had never heard another tongue before. The flow of foreign sounds, surrounding him from every side troubled him, yet peaked his curiosity. What truly startled him were all of the people with skin so white it glowed in the sun. Were they divinities themselves? Why else would they have such a holy looking appearance? But as he watched them, they did all the same things normal men did—talk, eat, walk. He couldn’t help but stare at them a bit longer than the common passerby though. 451

There were metal beasts, boxes men walked in and out of, that moved faster than any rickshaw Rajnish had ever seen. They left no trail of dust, but a steady flow of the ugliest smell. He avoided them as much as was possible. 452

Everywhere, there were ear-numbing Bollywood songs playing and giant unfurled scrolls hanging far up in the sky. How any man was able to place them so high in the heavens, he was not quite sure. 453

Amidst the towers of steel and silver, there rested one carefully carved traditional temple. A feeling of relief and comfort flowed through him instantly. This was what he was used to. Wooden figures of Brahma and Saraswati beckoned from the outside, looking terribly misplaced against their contemporary neighbors. On impulse, the young man decided to take a look inside. 454

The room was far larger than it had looked from the outside, stretching out beyond the limits of the eye’s glance. Gold paint gave a heavenly glow to the dying wood walls, dancing across murals of divine battles. On the farthest wall, there stood a massive statue of Brahma, with details so vivid it seemed he would arise at any moment. But he stood still, frozen in a frame of gold. The silence that crept into each corner brought a chill down his spine. It seemed that everywhere he went, he was met with some sort of emptiness. 455

In the front shadows, he noticed a small flicker of movement. Walking across the dark planks of wood, he noticed it was a person. A woman. Kneeling on the ground, her dark violet sari melted into shadows, hiding her soft tears and sobs. Her fingers were wrapped around a paper slip, seemingly forgotten in her thoughts. When she felt the shadow of Rajnish fall over her body, she stopped and looked up, tears still streaming from her wide eyes. 456

“Wh-what’s wrong?” Rajnish asked lamely. But there was nothing else he could say. 457

Having been addressed, she knew she could ask the question that burdened her heart, “D-do you believe in the gods?”458

“?” Rajnish looked at her curiously. The question hit him concerning his own personal struggles. 459

Brushing back streams of tears, she explained, “Everyday for the past four years, I have come here, using my spare rupees to buy sticks of incense. And every day, I have begged for Brahma’s mercy on my life, or what is left of my life,” she laughed bitterly. “I thought he would fill my life, but I just feel more and more empty each day. Is that how all feel who worship him?”460

Dumbstruck, Rajnish stood, thinking over her question carefully. Images of the broken statue of Lakshmi rang once again in his mind. The woman, thinking she had spoken too much for her sex, turned to rise from the floor. “Forgive me for speaking so much-“461

“No,” Rajnish’s brow was furrowed, head facing the menacing statue of Brahma before him. “I have to ask myself the same questions,” Her eyes watched him for a very long time, waiting for him to continue. But he did not. Instead, he headed towards the way he came in, only muttering under his breath, “You never have ceased to fail me, lady Lakshmi,”462

He was said to have been of the gods. A deliverance? A curse? Whispers amongst the people named him a gift from the divine goddess Lakshmi. Being the Lady of the Lotus, many saw him as the mediator between god and man—a promise of hope for this world. 463

Divine promises in the lotus, he had to laugh. Never had he seen such a promise fulfilled. 464

Then there were those who feared he would bring eternal judgment upon the human race. Either way, he could not be simply human, like all of these others in Mumbai. 465

Here in Mumbai, he found it very easy to wander aimlessly. Everything from the steel and stone walls that sprouted from every side to the men in the curious Western outfits called suits fascinated him, grabbing his attention away from the countless pressing questions that swarmed his free thoughts. 466

Skies above him looked so much darker here. Maybe it was just the way he looked at them, or the fact that he was burdened with new troubles. Or perhaps there was just something not right about a world made entirely by man’s hands. A world that lacked gods. 467

That was one thing he noticed when he first arrived in Mumbai—gods were not revered. The one temple he ever noticed was the one of pure wood, adorned with figures of Brahma. All else built was for man’s edification alone. 468

Nearby, there stood a collapsing newspaper stand. Its roof sagged unnaturally, yet in the small covering underneath, there sat a young man. Perhaps in his twenties, surely not much older than Rajnish, his skin looked far older, leathery and dark, the beginnings of wrinkles forming above his brow. He could not have been terribly large, for his body was fully veiled in the newspaper opened in front of him. With a new found interest, Rajnish pulled out some of the few rupees, handing them to the vendor. Opening to the center of the articles, his eyes fell upon a hidden section, headed with the words “Child from Lakshmi,” Frowning, he read further. 469

Many tales have been told about the one called Rajnish, who was born to a middle class family in the outskirts of Mumbai. His mother Padma claimed to have seen the goddess Lakshmi proclaim his birth, giving him the name “Lakshmi’s gift,” Since that time, few have seen the legendary boy. However, those who dwell in the bazaar _______ claim otherwise. 470

Last week, a boy no older than fifteen was noted by the people to have “defended himself with no outward force, scaring off a robber motionlessly,”. The boy even called himself “Rajnish”. The next day, he was no where to be found. But his appearance has aroused many questions, leaving an other-worldly air in Mumbai.471

Rajnish was unsure of whether to laugh at the irony or mourn at his foolish mistake. But he was quickly overcome with the lines, “defended himself with no outward force…”, trying to remember the night he was almost robbed. All he remembered was the fear that spread onto the older man’s face, as though he had seen the face of God. This defence…what was it? What had he done to make people believe he was a god himself? 472

His perplexity was clearly drawn across his face, bringing the old vendor to ask, “Boy, what is it?” 473

Straightening up, Rajnish turned with a careless, “Oh nothing,” 474

“Something must have caught your attention,” he reasoned. 475

Reluctantly, Rajnish replied, “This one they call Rajnish…what do you believe? Do you think he from the gods?”476

The vendor shrugged his weary shoulders. “That would mean there are gods,” 477

“You mean,” the older boy blinked. “You do not believe in the Devis?”478

Laying the paper that was folded in his hands, the man turned directly to his customer, “The Devis are tradition—old India. But we have grown, moved on. We no longer need gods. We are the gods,” he swept his hand across the scope of skyscrapers and rising buildings. “Did Brahma build this?” he laughed. “Of course not!” 479

Rajnish stood still, unable to laugh. “Then what do you think explains—his motionless defense?” 480

The man stopped, eyeing Rajnish with a slight look of surprise. “You truly are a superstitious one, aren’t you?”481

“I just ask you a simple question,”482

In his makeshift newspaper stand, the man looked off with a furrowed brow, obviously thinking rather hard. “I cannot explain…the miracles we see. But how many men can?” with that, he grinned. 483

With a sigh of disappointment, Rajnish changed the subject, “Can you tell me then where the nearest temple is?”484

“The nearest temple?” the man echoed. “So you are religious!”485

“No, not that—I mean, its not why-“ 486

He let out a hearty laugh. “Then, my boy, why do you wish to go there?” 487

“Because…” Rajnish had trouble thinking, but shook his head. “I don’t need to tell you why!”488

“My, my” the young man shook his finger, “Such strong words for a boy to an elder,”489

“Oh,” Reality hit Rajnsih, “A thousand apologies,” he made a soft bow, which looked rather ironic to him. Him bowing to a street vendor. 490

The vendor laughed again, until he said, “There is only one temple in this area,” 491

“Only one?” The image of the golden Brahma came to mind. “The one of pure wood?” 492

“Why yes,” the vendor looked surprised. “You have been there already?” 493

Rajnish nodded. “Why is there only one?” 494

“Like I said, the Devis were of the past,” he grabbed a cigarette from his pocket. “The ideas of them were needed then, but what use are they now? Here?”495

The boy still frowned, unsure of what to think. His mother’s constant preparations for Lakshmi against this denial of all power…they seemed to be opposite extremes. Perhaps he was just somewhere in the middle. Even he was not sure. “Well, thank you for your guidance; I shall have to find somewhere else to go,” 496

At this, the man’s eyebrow rose. “Somewhere else? What do you mean, boy—you’re going to travel across India to find temples? Like some sort of pilgrimage?”497

“I suppose you could call it that,” Rajnish shrugged, not quite sure what to call it himself. “But not just for temples—just for-“498

The man waited, but the boy had stopped. “For what?”499

“For something more,” 500

The cigarette began to let off a thin trail of smoke from the young man’s lips. “Every man searches for that at some time…” He looked back down at Rajnish, who was beginning to walk away. “Wait, are you going alone?” 501

“Yes,” Rajnish turned back. “Of course; do you see any others with me?” 502

“ No its just,” he thought for a moment, “Aren’t you a bit young to be wandering around by yourself?”503

“I’ll be fine,” He continued forward, muttering in a hardly audible voice, “I am the lord of the night after all,”504

With that, the man shrugged, trying to not remember what it was like for him four or so years ago when his eyes glanced to that same article: “Child from Lakshmi,”. Putting everything together in his mind, he shouted. “Wait!” jumping out of his makeshift stand. With a not so smooth hit against the wall, the delicate roof caved in with a loud thud, making Rajnish stop. Both turned to see the stand and newspapers fall into a mass of waste. 505

The two stood in silence of the moment until the older one remarked. “Well, that was pretty much the fall of all that I’ve ever had,” Turning to Rajnish, he remembered what had made him rush over. “You!” he pointed a finger. “You are the one they call Rajnish, the gift of the lotus!”506

From nowhere, there was a deep thudding sound, getting louder and louder. Its only my heart, Rajnish realized after a few moments. He wanted to hit himself. How could he always be giving away his identity so quickly? He wanted to be liberated from his former life and expectations, not reminding the world of what he once was. “I was at one time,” 507

No words could come from the man’s mouth as he just stared in awe and confusion. “And you ask me if the gods exist,” 508

“Do they?” Rajnish repeated, eyes looking towards the endless streaks of buildings towards the sky. “That’s what I hope to figure out one day…somewhere…” As he tried to walk away for the third time, he was stopped once more. 509

“Hold on-“ the vendor’s look was serious. “Let me go with you,” 510

Rajnish tried to hold back a laugh. “You come with me? Why would you want to follow a boy across India?”511

“To look for the same as you,” his tone no longer held jokes. 512

“I thought you did not believe in the gods,” 513

“Neither did I believe in the gift of the lotuses,” 514

After a few minutes of silence, Rajnish asked, “Why should I go with a complete stranger?” 515

”Because I have something that you don’t,” He fingered a small white folded piece of paper. Rajnish’s expression scrunched into confusion, so he explained. “It’s a map of Mumbai and its outskirts. You don’t want to be trekking through miles and miles of wasteland! Go the wrong way and you may find yourself walking to your death,” 516

“I’ll just follow the path,” 517

“The path doesn’t go across all of India,” the man scoffed, shattering the boy’s naïve hopes. “Without this,” he flipped the paper, “You will have no where to go,” 518

Reluctantly convinced, Rajnish returned, “I suppose you can join me,” When he saw the conquering grin on the young man, he quickly added, “It’s only because you have that…that thing,”519

“A map,” the man corrected.520

“I see,” Rajnish frowned, “But you still haven’t told me your name,” 521

“Its rude to ask of that from a stranger…” When Rajnish said nothing, he continued, “But it is Devdan, gift of the gods,” 522

“How can you be a gift from the gods if there are no gods?” Rajnish asked with a grin. 523

“…” Continuing forward, Devdan looked as though he were in deep thought, “I suppose I shall have to think of a good answer to that. You are too perceptive, Rajnish,” 524

Days of travel led the twosome far from the modern Mumbai into the thinning lands, speckled with the beginnings of more rural homes and a stretch of bazaars. Without a second thought, they plunged into the convoluted maze of kiosks.525

To Rajnish, it seemed to be a déjà vu of the first place he had been out on his own. Crowds of chaos, animals following as though they too were men. Everywhere that should have space instead had raising sounds and scents. No men in suits.526

“And to think that we are still in Mumbai,” Devdan mused. 527

“What?” Rajnish looked up in surprise. “How large is this place?” 528

“It stretches from some close farm homes, filled with bazaars from every end, and stuffed in the center with all of the time’s offerings. Mumbai is vast, isn’t it? I’d bet you have never left it in your life,” he laughed. 529

With a frown, Rajnish had to admit that he was probably right. But how far could he travel throughout his life if it had already taken him so long to just walk across part of one city? Discouragement set into his veins. 530

Preoccupied with his plans of trekking across India, Rajnish did not notice when Devdan completely stopped. When he heard no more words from the young man, he turned around to see his new companion talking to a vendor. Confused, he turned around, struggling through the crowds to get to the stand. 531

“Great price, very cheap,” he heard the words grow louder and louder. 532

“I don’t know…” Devdan held his head in his hand. “I don’t have many rupees with me…”533

“Ok, fine, I make it…” the seller punched in a number onto a cheap calculator. “That much,” 534

“Well-“ he began before being grabbed by Rajnish. 535

“What are you doing?!” the younger hissed out of character.536

In response, Devdan took his hand and pointed it above. “Dekho!” Look! “Isn’t she beautiful?” he asked in a carefree whisper. A coat of slate covered her small thin form, black skin making her bright brown eyes glow hauntingly. 537

“Bewaqoof!” Idiot! Rajnish frowned. “It’s a monkey!” And so it was. Her long black tail dangled from the single tree, a thin rope tied loosely around her neck. She ruffled her head of dove white hair, taking no notice to the boys below. 538

“Isn’t she beautiful?” Devdan repeated, his eyes estatic. “I’ve always wanted a monkey…”539

“You can’t get a monkey!” Rajnish snapped. “How are we supposed to take care of a monkey while traveling across India?”540

“Who said the monkey couldn’t help us travel across India?” the elder smirked. “Besides…” he added. “This man’s giving a good price,” 541

“Who cares? We can’t afford a monkey!” the younger protested. But it was not only for logistical reasons that he disliked the idea of a pet. It also brought back haunting memories of his only companion in childhood, Chander…542

“I don’t know about that…” Devdan turned his head towards the vendor once more, who was fidgeting most nervously. 543

“How about 800 rupees?” he asked, eyes pleading for this boy to just take the monkey.544

“Maybe…” Devdan mused, waiting for the price to lower more. 545

“Why do you want to sell this monkey so badly?” Rajnish boldly threw forth. 546

“He’s a good pet for you,” the seller replied with a fake smile, his fingers nudging on his turban. 547

“See?” the elder pressed. “It’s a good pet for us!” 548

Rajnish still looked unconvinced. “What makes you say that?” he turned to the seller once more. “What reason do you have to sell it for so low?”549

After more pressing the man admitted, “She is a curse!” At these words, the monkey above even seemed to laugh. “No Hanuman Langur has caused so much trouble for my stand! I’ve sold them for years upon years, yet none have ever been so troublesome! She is impossible to sell, always finding a way to run off, always snatching my food from under my nose—She is as mischievous as Hanuman himself!” he craned his head towards the creature in question, who just smiled a devious grin from her perch above. 550

“Perfect!” Devdan’s decision was confirmed. “We’ll take it—“551

“What are you thinking? Do you have dung for brains?” Rajnish’s voice rose. “We have no use for a monkey, especially a troublesome monkey!”552

“Of course we do, silly Rajnish!” the boy of leathered skin searched for his last rupees. “In fact, it is exactly what we need,”553

“We will starve!” the younger turned, grasping his thick black hair in his hands. “Oh, why did I let you come with me?”554

“Trust me on this one—you’ll be glad I have the brains of dung later,” he grinned, handing a palm-ful of shimmering rupees. The vendor took them with the greatest eagerness, stuffing them in his tunic. 555

“Most excellent choice! I am sure she will not be a curse to you, but a blessing—from the most high Hanuman!” At the mention of the diety, Devdan rolled his eyes. The seller fumbled with the rope wrapped around the base of the tree, his turban sliding over his eye with each movement. After a few awkward moments, he managed to free its hold from the aging Banyon tree, trying to lead the newly sold monkey towards her owner. But she lept down with her own free will, perching on a low log. 556

Devdan’s eyes beamed. “Dhanyavaad!” Thank You! He called after the vendor, grabbing the rope with one hand, continuing on his merry way. That only added to Rajnish’s agitated mood. 557

He looked down at the monkey, who was for the moment complying. But how long would that last. “So tell me friend—what is your ingenious plan for success that requires a monkey?”558

“It’s very simple,” Devdan began, walking the monkey as though it were a dog. “Monkeys are good street performers. If we can train her well enough, we might be able to get a good enough amount of rupees to keep traveling with little worries. Also, he said this monkey was a good thief. From that, we can get some obvious profit. Then there’s—“559

“We’re not stealing from innocent people,” 560

“Who ever said they were innocent?”561

That answer caught Rajnish off guard, making him think longer. But Devdan only laughed, “But the first order of business---what shall its name be?”562

“How about just Hanuman?”563

“Her?”564

“Oh. Right…Well then, how about Padma?”565

Rajnish shivered at the name. “No—not Padma.”566

“Aishwarya?”567

“No,” 568

“Chandrakanta?”569

“No,” Rajnish frowned. “Can’t you think of any more simple names?”570

“You’re not being terribly helpful yourself, Rajnish,” the other frowned, eyeing the monkey that strode ahead as though she were not bound by any rope. Boundless. Then an idea struck him. “How about Aditi?”571

Freedom. Rajnish quickly understood what his new friend meant. “What we both seek after…” he muttered under his breath, more to himself than to Devdan. 572

“And what this monkey may help us find,” he added as he grinned. 573

“Aditi…” Rajnish mused. “I like it.”574

Seeing he had won once again, Devdan added, “And may we find it—without the blessings of any gods,” 575

It took the glow of night to bring the company to stop walking. No other power gave them reason to, for they could bring their food with them as they traveled, and their legs had grown used to the constant work. But in blindness, they could move no further. 576

“I wonder,” Devdan scrutinized, “If all of those myths are true…about you being the Lord of Night,” 577

“That’s what they say,” Rajnish returned, not terribly interested. “Its funny—some make it sound as though that makes me some hero of India, and then others fear me as though I were some demon…”578

“Perhaps you’re both…” Devdan joked.579

“Or perhaps all of India thrives from superstition,”580

Pulling on the rope for Aditi to stop, Devdan admitted, “You’re probably right,” 581

The two looked around for a place to stay for the night. But there was no where. Every stand took on a menacing face, windows and doors covered for the cold night. No lights flickered. 582

“This seems to be an end of the road for us,” Rajnish mused, turning to his comrade. “Where do we go from here?”583

“That’s easy,” Devdan replied smoothly. “We rest here on the side of the road,”584

“But-“ Rajnish began reluctantly, Devdan waiting for him to continue.585

When he said nothing, Devdan jested, “It should be no problem! You are the Lord of Night after all, right?” Looking for a patch of ground, Devdan led not only Aditi but also an unconvinced Rajnish, who already shivered with a chill of the cold night air. “This is what living as a traveler means, Rajnish,” he laughed at his new friend’s reluctance. “Many apologies that it is not your glorious home, fit for the gods!” 586

“I suppose I shall have to get used to it,” the younger muttered as he leaned against a wall. “So this is what it means to be free…” And with that, he quickly fell into a deep sleep.587

~588

He knew it was morning when the skies were no longer the endless shade of black, but a wall of pinks and golds. He rubbed his eyes, flattening his ruffled hair, then stared down at his hands in disbelief. The night was over. 589

“You must be a lord over the night!” he said far too eagerly, startling a drowsy Rajnish. 590

“That’s what they say…” he muttered, pulling his body up. 591

“And they are right! I thought surely we would be robbed or attacked or—I cannot believe the tales are true…”592

Holding his hand up in front of Devdan’s face, Rajnish replied, “Well here I am, in front of your own two eyes. There is nothing else to believe,”593

Letting out a sigh, the elder got up onto his feet, turning to where he had tied up Aditi. But she was gone. “What—where did that monkey go?”594

“I told you that you should not buy that thing,” 595

“She was just here a moment ago…Her chatter was what woke me up…” he frowned, looking all around him. 596

“There!” Rajnish pointed a finger to an abandoned stand roof, on which perched the familiar monkey. In her black paw, she held an peeled back banana, casually chewing with a mocking eye on her new owners.597

“You!” Devdan glared. “Aditi! Come down now!” But the monkey took no heed of his words, taking another bite of the banana. “Aditi!” he shouted again, running towards the stand. 598

Boldly he stepped onto the table of the stand, which wobbled under his feet. Rajnish watched with rolling eyes. “You ungrateful monkey!” Devdan’s hand fell over the rooftop, reaching out blindly for the monkey, who watched from a couple feet away, laughing at the young man’s stupidity. 599

In a swift motion, it hopped down the dirt path, across the stands of emerging vendors. Without a prior thought, the boy ran down the street, chasing the monkey with the shouts, “Come back here!” Loosing the two over the horizon, Rajnish found himself running after both of them.600

It took several minutes of empty circles and shouts that turned the heads of a few onlookers for the two boys to pin Aditi to the ground, slipping the rope around her neck. “And this is where you’ll stay, foolish one!” Devdan said with a grin, pulling her against her will through the streets like a prize. 601

“You know,” he said after a few long moments of silence, “We should hurry and train Aditi to do something before she gets away again,”602

“What if she runs away anyways?”603

“If she’s trained, she won’t want to run away. Then we can actually motivate her to stay with us,” 604

“Well how do we train a monkey?” Rajnish asked.605

“Like this,” Devdan pulled on the rope sharply, choking Aditi. “No. Stop.” Aditi apparently did not take kindly to this treatment, turning her head to make a sound at her owner that was between a hiss and a chatter. Whatever it was, it was far from inviting. 606

“No!” Devdan snapped a bit louder, pulling the rope higher. “Bad monkey,” Turning back to his friend, he grinned. “See? Its just the beginning, but one day—one day, she will amaze the eyes of all in India! And you, being the Gift of Lakshmi—“607

“What do you dream of doing, starting a sort of circus?” Rajnish laughed dryly. 608

Hands in his pockets, Devdan thought for a moment. “No, its not that…but…tell me, Rajnish—what is it like to have so much wealth? For your name to be known across lands as far as the eye can see…and beyond?”609

“It’s a true pain,” his eyes narrowed seriously, “Men who wish for such a life deceive themselves,” 610

“But to live poor is a foolish wish as well,” he frowned back, “It is asking for a life of emptiness,”611

“Then what is not a foolish wish?” his voice rose, wishing upon every star in the sky that there could be a clear answer to living. If he could just find that, he did not care if he had anything else. If he could live, then what else could he ever want?612

The older boy looked down with a smile, his thick eyebrows resting above his dulled out eyes. “That is what we search for, isn’t it? A wish with meaning…”613

“I thought you followed me because your stand broke,” a crease of a frown cracked Rajnish’s face.614

At that, the boy’s dulled eyes lit up, “That, my friend, was just perfect timing,” And with that, the two laughed out loud. 615

In the heart of the bazaar, there rested a sort of oasis, which appeared terribly out of place amidst the bustling crowds. It was nothing more than a few makeshift benches, a weary well and empty space, but it signified a spot of rest in a world of constant movement. 616

Taking a bench, Devdan hit the seat next to him. Turning to the monkey, he called, “Aditi come,” The monkey made no movement. “Come,” He repeated, with still nothing. His glossed near-black eyes narrowed, bearing into the glowing ones of Aditi. “Come,” he whispered with the voice of death. 617

With a sigh, Rajnish walked over to the bench with small strides. Facing the beast, he called gently, “Aditi come!” And without any further placation, the monkey jumped faithfully to his side. 618

In disbelief, Devdan’s jaw dropped. “How—“619

“It’s very simple really,” Rajnish grinned, “It is the way of animals, to side with those that are kinder to them,” Aditi meanwhile hopped across his arm, perching on his shoulder as though she were a parrot. 620

Looking slightly defeated, Devdan noted, “Fine, then you train him,”621

“But…” Rajnish’s eyes fell slightly downcast. 622

“What?”623

“What am I supposed to train a monkey to do?”624

Laughing, Devdan got up, standing in front of the monkey. “The simple things. Sit. Come. Then whatever you want to train her to do,”625

“But I don’t want her to do anything,” he looked up to the older, “I didn’t want her in the first place,”626

”But think about it,” Devdan held his hand up against the sun, spreading rays to frame the silhouette of his fingers, “A monkey street performer—who would not pay to see that? We can bring it to the big places with the rich, like Mumbai and New Delhi—shouting in the streets ‘Aditi the Trained Monkey’.” He looked to see if he had convinced Rajnish yet. “You can teach her to do anything and people will pay. She is a monkey, after all,”627

“What do street performing monkeys usually do?”628

“Hmm…” Devdan looked out into the distance. “She could sing, dance, pray, eat fire—“ he laughed at the look of horror that spread across Rajnish’s face. “She could play music, speak, draw—anything. In Europe, many monkeys called organ grinders play hand held music boxes and people give them money,”629

“And—that’s it?” 630

“That’s it,”631

“Well,” Rajnish sat back a bit, “That doesn’t sound that hard…just play a box of music and people pay money?”632

“If it’s a monkey, that is,” 633

Thinking long and hard as if this was a vital decision for his life, Rajnish decided, “Alright, I will try to train Aditi to do something,”634

“Two Jelabas,” the leathery near-black hand placed the rupees in the hand of the cook. He nodded his head of moon silver hair, turning to the pan. 635

Away from the smoke, Devdan poured out the remaining rupees into his palm, counting each as though they were sacred relics. And in a sense, they were. Sacred relics of their past (more or less) wealth. “Rajnish, you had better train that monkey fast. These are the last of our rupees!”636

“Training a monkey is not that easy,” the one with fairer skin frowned. “Especially not Aditi,” he looked down at the leashed monkey. Unable to keep her unattended for a second, the two decided to keep her under the constant watch of the rope leash. Her fur shimmered of a crescent silver, eyes of honey so seemingly innocent. Only Rajnish and Devdan knew she was far from so. 637

“So far, what have you trained her to do?” Devdan questioned. 638

“Well, Europe seems to do things right, so I thought we should follow their monkey street performer ways and teach Aditi to play music for people,”639

“And?”640

“And what?”641

“And how? Think, Rajnish! Think!” he lifted his hands for emphasis, “If you have a scheme to get money, you must too have a logical way to make it work!”642

“I…haven’t gotten that far yet, I suppose,” Rajnish let his head sag in discouragement. 643

“Well, you must get that far then,” he looked down at the monkey, “Or else Adita will not get to perform and we will starve in the outskirts of Bombay…”644

“Two Jelabas!” the cook yelled as loud as he could, bringing Devdan to pick them up. The golden sugar and oil glistened in the mid-day sun, still hot to the touch. In the shade, the two took their first bites, letting a sweet filling dribble over the sides. 645

As the two boys enjoyed their food, Aditi looked up with expectancy. “What’d you want?” Devdan continued eating, eyeing the creature. 646

Without thought, Rajnish tore off a small piece of his own, lowering it down to the monkey. In an instant, her wrath was temporarily appeased. His friend turned to him incredulously, “What was that for? You don’t feed the performer as though it were…human!” 647

“It is a living being,” Rajnish shrugged, “And you were the one who insisted on buying it. You should be the one wanting to take care of it,” For once, Devdan had no reply, leaving the three to eat in silence. 648

Across the shuffling crowds of man and beast, there was a faint glimmer that caught Rajnish’s eye. With a closer look, he noticed that it was just a tin box, mostly rusted with only one side still a crisp silver colour. It stood in the middle of a mound of trash, all tossed aside to a corner of the streets. There was something about the box, he was not sure exactly what, that he was sure he could use—something that he needed. 649

Venturing over, he picked it up loosely in his hands. With a soft tap, it let off a quavering note. Tapping harder, the note too got stronger. Thinking, he let his fingers unconsciously roll across the ice like surface. He looked down at the trash pile. Hardly anything else in it was definable; only a bottle or two, some newspapers and a thick used incense stick. Taking the incense stick in one hand, he tapped across the tin surface. And there he struck an idea. 650

Rushing back to Devdan and the monkey, he bent low to the silver beast, handing it the incense rod, laying the tin box on the ground. “What are you doing, Rajnish?” Devdan asked.651

Without an answer, Rajnish bent close to Aditi, tapping the tin box with a rhythm. Then he whispered “Can you do that?” 652

Surprising both of them, Aditi understood, imitating the pattern given her with loud taps across the tin surface. The melody was rough, but made the two determine that this could be the way for them to earn rupees.653

“Come see Aditi—the monkey of Bhangra!” Devdan’s voice shouted across the streets, drawing in a few curious by standers. For the most part, pedestrians were used to these shows and advertisements, giving them little thought anymore. But there were still those who had a curious eye for any street musicians. 654

It was their street corner. No one else had claimed it, so they claimed it for themselves. More accurately, it was Aditi who chose it. She had stopped there, waving her incense rod in the air, as if waiting for the two to attend to her. A grin widening, revealing a row of jagged teeth, she started to tap out rhythms over the tin box set before her. 655

The silver monkey, with incense rod in hand, swiftly raced across the tin surface without any sign of struggle. “She is of natural talent,” Devdan once said, and it seemed as though he were quite right. Close to the monkey’s side, there gathered handfuls of children, all watching in utter curiousity and awe. Their golden eyes widened, trying to take it all in. When the beat stopped, silver and gold coins flew from every direction, all aimed towards the small clay bowl Devdan had set there earlier. 656

“See, what did I tell you?” Devdan whispered to Rajnish in between applauds. “It’s a fool proof plan! Already, we probably have enough rupees for a few days’ food!” He looked out to the crowds of people, gathering closer and closer to the monkey performer, increasing in numbers. “Did the gods do this?” he grinned, stretching his hand out. “This was of our power. Our talent. Your idea. No heavenly body came from the skies, handing us this monkey saying, ‘May you use his talents to receive bountiful blessings’,” he laughed. 657

But Rajnish seemed unmoved. “Perhaps heavenly blessings can come in more subtle ways,” 658

“Perhaps,” Devdan frowned, seeing that he had still failed to convince his friend, “But still, what proof do we have that any gods have helped us?” 659

Aditi’s beat began once more, but Rajnish did not notice, lost in thought. “Maybe there is no proof,” his voice was hardly audible. 660

“Then maybe there are no gods,” Devdan pursued.661

“Then maybe there are gods,” Rajnish refutted, lightening the moment into shared laughs. 662

Turning back to the performance, Devdan remarked, “You know, this business should expand,”663

“What are you thinking?”664

“A full street performing band,” the older grinned his signature grin, yellowing teeth beaming. “A sitar, vocals and a monkey,”665

“And a monkey.” Rajnish repeated in disbelief.666

“But we already have the monkey,” Devdan corrected himself, “But we need a cheap sitar and someone who can sing. Then someone can notice us, say we’re good, and we can perform as artists. Real artists. Punjabi artists who get cds.” He relaxed against the paint peeling wall behind him. “Perhaps we can get good enough that we go into Bollywood!”667

“Now you just have a crazy dream,” 668

“No,” his back stiffened as he got up, looking the younger straight in the eye with all seriousness. “Never call any dream crazy. Especially not you—you who is called the lord over night! I would have called dreams crazy, maybe, until I met you.” He shook his finger, “You were a crazy dream for all of India,” 669

“If no dream is crazy, then why are the gods such an impossibility?” Rajnish asked innocently. He was only met with silence. 670

At the end of the song, Aditi smiled a giant grin only a monkey could give, turning to the on lookers with a look of satisfaction and pride in her eyes. More rupees were flung into the jar, until it nearly overflowed. 671

Motioning towards the overflowing jar, Devdan asked with a smirk, “Did the gods do that?” 672

Its cover was the loveliest interweaving of patterns. It certainly put Padma’s konam to shame. It glistened from its humble resting spot on a pile of dirt ridden books. Why was such a lovely book here?673

Ignoring his friend’s continuous walk, Rajnish reaching out towards the book. His fingers flipped through the pages with gentle ease. The sound of clean rippling sheets flowed from the binding, until the words caught his eye:674

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth…675

God? Of course, he had read countless sutras and prayers, all to the gods above, but this sentence struck him as very odd. There was one god. Which god was referred to? Was it Brahma? Or perhaps another god he had never heard of? 676

“Come on!” a familiar voice broke through his thoughts, “Why are you looking at those books?” Devdan stood behind him, looking over his shoulder in curiousity. 677

“You sold books and newspapers,” Rajnish turned around. 678

“Yes, but I never read any of them,” Devdan sighed, motioning to his friend, “Let’s keep moving,” 679

“Right,” As Rajnish turned from the stand, he quickly put aside his new ideas, and the image of the lovely book. But only for the moment. 680

Their pace of walking never seemed to cease. But their legs eventually numbed to the pain. As they swam through the merciless crowds of movement, Rajnish noticed the thinning out of the market streets. “Where are we goinig?” he asked nervously, having adjusted to the bazaar. 681

“Across India,” Devdan joked, “Thtat’s what you were planning to do, right? To find freedom and truth, or something heroic like that?”682

“Oh,” thoughts of the colourful book on the stand reawoke in his mind, “Right,”683

“Or not?” his friend’s thick eyebrow of soot rose. 684

“No!” Rajnish protested, beginning to feel more space surround him. “We should travel across India. There must be somewhere in which someone knows what all of this means,”685

“All of what?”686

”All of this!” Rajnish stretched his long thin arms out. “All of existence! All that we have argued over! All the gods, all of man, all of all! Does every man just live for nothing, and die with nothing?”687

Devdan’s silence troubled the younger, until he answered in a hoarse voice, “We should hurry before the sun sets,” And with such a simple sentence, the conversation died forever, never to arise to either’s lips ever again. 688

The horizon was a clear line, an easy definition of land and heaven. Above was an endless dulling blue, speckled with a few lazy clouds, while below was a pure green, springing up from the ground with life. Here and there, a palm tree shot forth above the low rising vegetables. 689

When the lands stretched out like an emerald linen, flowing into soft hills, he began to try to absorb it all. Never had he been in such a vast place before. Opening everything within him, he took in the emptiness. Yet, it did not seem like emptiness. It seemed like something to make him whole. 690

Walking with closed eyes taking deep breaths, Devdan asked disconcerned, “What is wrong with you?”691

“It is funny how there is nothing here…yet, it feels like something,” 692

Devdan shrugged, looking down at Aditi who was trying to scurry ahead. “Must you always speak so philosophically? Can’t you just see the world as we all do—as…as normal?”693

The words were news to Rajnish, who looked at his friend in surprise, “What do you mean that I speak…philosophically?”694

“Its as though…you try to find a meaning in everything,” he frowned deeply, eyebrows furrowed, “What if some things just don’t have meaning?”695

“But-“ Rajnish began, but his voice was drowned in Devdan’s protests.696

“Get off me!” he shouted, grabbing for the monkey that had crawled up onto his shoulder. But Aditi held on with a tight grasp. “What are you doing? You’ve walked this far!”697

“Perhaps she’s just tired!” the younger laughed. 698

“But she’s not stopped before,” his dark hands tried to unlock the monkey’s fingers. Aditi chattered a high pitched laugh, scurrying from shoulder to shoulder, swiftly staying on his body. “Get off!” Turning to a laughing Rajnish, he snapped, “You aren’t helping at all just standing there,”699

“And I won’t,” the younger threw his arms behind his head, more casual than usual, “I think you’re always treating poor Aditi too harshly!” 700

“What?!” Devdan demanded, “She’s just a monkey—“ he began until the furry hands clasped over his mouth. In unison, Rajnish and Aditi laughed. Fighting through the rough grasp, Devdan sputtered, “And a rude, hauty monkey at that!” 701

“Maybe its what you need,” Rajnish laughed, eyes scanning across endless acres of green. It, like India, never seemed to end. 702

“That doesn’t sound like you at all, Rajnish,” the older wrestled with the monkey still, “What’s gotten into you?” he demanded. 703

“Nothing, I just think you need to be more reasonable to Aditi,”704

“How can I be reasonable with this thing?” he cringed when the paw grabbed his hair, pulling the jet black locks with a tight tug. 705

“Apologize,” the lighter laughed. 706

“You must be joking!” He glared at the one on his back, “Apologize to this thing?”707

“You’re the one who bought her,” Rajnish reminded him for the umpteenth time.708

Grey fur began to shed over his fading red shirt, “Its childish to beg forgiveness from an animal,”709

“The divine Hanuman might curse you for such words!” Rajnish joked.710

Rolling his eyes, he over dramatically proclaimed, “Forgive me, oh great Aditi, monkey of the Bhangra!” He tried to bow, but the weight of the monkey made him quickly straighten. “Send away your curses from me!”711

Chattering and giving one last tug on his hair, Aditi jumped off of his back, racing into the fields of green leaves, the rope leash trailing behind. 712

“See?” Rajnish asked with a naïve smile and closed eyes. 713

Eyes staring after Aditi in disbelief, then to his friend, then back to the distant monkey, then to his comrade, he asked in a thick voice, “Is it a blessing that he just ran off?”714

“Kya?” What? The younger opened an eye. The monkey was only a small grey dot in the distance. 715

“Oh I extol many thanks to the wonderful Hanuman!” Devdan rose his arms up to the heavens sarcastically. “Now we have no way to make rupees!”716

“Perhaps,” Rajnish replied in hardly above a whisper, “She will return,”717

“Ha!” the older let out a hearty laugh. “What reason would she have to return? SHE’S A MONKEY!”718

“A trained monkey, as you said before,” Rajnish pointed out, but his friend did not hear, complaining to himself, muttering all sorts of curses that dare not be repeated. 719

Above, the sky melted into a goldenrod opal, as though the blue paper sky had been held up to a candle flame. “We should continue on until it gets dark, right?” he asked. 720

“I suppose,” the darker reluctantly shuffled forward. His head towards the fields on his right, he spat, “Stupid monkey,” 721

Their eyes vaguely drifted ahead, expecting to see the monkey hopping along in front. But there was nothing except the dirt path. Without Aditi jumping ahead, there was hardly any progress ahead for the two. In their pet’s absence, there was a stinging silence that neither of them could fill. With a sigh, Rajnish admitted, “I was actually starting to be glad you got that monkey,” Kicking a pebble into the distance with his head down, Devdan said nothing. 722

It felt like hours when they heard a cry of something approaching them. The two young men’s heads turned back and forth, frantically looking for whatever was approaching them. But all they could see were endless fields of darkening green. There it was again. Unsure of what to think, the boys quickened their pace, gliding over the earth below them. 723

It grew louder, until in a flash, it was behind them. Rajnish screamed in shock when something grabbed his back. But nothing happened. Breaking into peals of laughter, Devdan nearly fell to the ground. “What is it? Get it off me!” the younger protested, but the older did nothing. 724

“It’s—It’s Aditi!” he continued to laugh as though he had gone mad. 725

“Aditi?” and sure enough, as he turned around, he faced the gray langur’s face, grinning as usual. In one hand, she held up two bananas, dangling them hardly an inch from Rajnish’s face. “You came back!” 726

“With food,” Devdan added, taking a banana from Aditi’s grip. Surprisingly, the monkey did not fight back. “Looks like she lives up to the tales from that vendor,” A look of self satisfaction spread over Aditi’s face, taking in the glory of the moment. 727

In the distance, the aisle of palm trees became no more than shadows. Overhead, the winds collided with the overall darkness, making the path slowly blow away from their sight. “We should stop for the night,” Devdan determined, sitting down in the middle of the path, tolerating the grey beast on his shoulder. 728

“What are you doing?” Rajnish demanded. 729

“…Stopping for the night,” 730

“In the middle of the road?”731

”Who else is going to be traveling it? Especially at night?” he took a last bite from his banana. With that said, the night fell into hushed silence and slumber. 732

“Rajnish,” he could hear her voice perfectly in tune, calling from another lifetime. “I’ve brought your favourite treat—Rubli!” she smiled so gently, walking into his room with a bowl of the pudding-like dessert. He took in a deep breath, almost able to taste the Rubli already…he had forgotten how delicious food could be. Her perfectly carved face, shining like a sun with the jewel of goldenrod glistening on her forehead, all began to blur together, fading back into its distant time. “No...” Rajnish moaned in the middle of his sleep, “Come back…” he stretched an arm out subconsciously. Smelling the air, he stopped, realizing it wasn’t all a dream. “It smells like Rubli,” he mused. 733

~734

Devdan noticed something not right in an instant’s time. The rough dirt and pebble path below his back had been replaced with the soft waves of silk. Never had he slept on silk before. Jumping in surprise, he looked down to find himself on a clean bedspread. Never had he slept on a bed before. 735

This room was a new place for him. How had he gotten here? The walls were nicely white washed, void of anything but the bed he now sat on top of and a rustic table. From his left, a small window channeled a calming breeze into the space, tossing around some of his already tangled hair. Though it was simple, it was the nicest room he had ever been in before. At that thought, he snickered to himself. I’m sure this is nothing compared to where Rajnish has lived…Rajnish! That’s when he noticed that he was alone in this room. Spotting the Western door in front of him, he leapt up, running out the door into a foreign hallway. 736

~737

Following the nostalgic smell, Rajnish walked into an empty hallway. Empty as the room, he observed, letting his bare feet relax against the smoothly dusted floor. Such luxuries he had always taken for granted; now he saw their true worth. The hall was lined with endless doors, very similar to his old home. The white was dulled with time, falling into shadows before him. Up ahead, it forked to the left and the right, leaving a dead end of a plain white wall. The only adornment was a sentence in devanagari which read:738

In our house dwells God739

Startled, his nose forgot the sweet smell. Here dwells God? He asked himself with a frown. Then he noticed one other decoration below the words: a simply drawn intersection of two black lines. The vertical one was longer, making a form he thought he had heard as referred to as a “cross”. So they believe there is a God… he mused, studying the cross design with puzzled curiosity. 740

“You’ve awaken,” a calming voice remarked simply. 741

Caught off guard, Rajnish spun around suddenly. He found himself facing a young woman, hardly older than he surely. It was very odd: her skin almost glowed in the dimmed light, being such a rare white shade. In Mumbai, he had seen a few men with that odd skin, the skin of the gods, but it still came as a shock for him. Her hair was a very odd colour—a gold like the sun’s rays, glistening and changing colour with each flicker of light and movement. Her eyes too were varied from the common brown eyes, glowing with a misty cerulean. He would have stared longer except that he remembered his predicament. “Where am I?” he asked directly. 742

At those words, she almost smiled, “You are at my home, or really, my parents’ home. We found you and your friend on the side of the road and brought you in,”743

He felt his cheeks turning a shade red. “Why—did you do that?”744

“Isn’t that obvious?” A look of deep and sincere concern poured out from her eyes. “You surely would have frozen from the cold!”745

“We would be fine,” Rajnish muttered, “You didn’t need to trouble yourself,”746

“But that’s what we do here,” the girl’s expression so smooth and gentle. A look he had never seen before, not even in his mother, “We serve,”747

Feeling as though he were part of a surreal dream still, Rajnish decided to drop the topic and ask another question. So many were resting on his tongue. “Where is my friend? The monkey? Did you bring the monkey too?”748

Her laugh tinkered like a chorus of silver bells. “Of course! Let me show you their rooms,” she glided down the grey hallway, her steps so smooth as if she were walking across the clouds to heaven. Trying to keep his mind on the problems at hand instead of this host, he followed her down the row of countless doors.749

“We apologize, but we could not keep the monkey in the same room, I suppose for obvious reasons,” there was that laugh again. “He’s outside in the ‘barn’ with our cows,” Making precise turns here and there, she found herself at the right door, “Here,” she gestured, knocking gently. When no answer came, she opened the door. But inside there was nothing. Only the gentle fields’ breeze, hovering across the room. 750

She stood there for a moment in disbelief, as though in a sort of trance. “I was sure…” she muttered under her soft breath, turning to the hallway. There stood an awkward Rajnish, terribly confused. “Many apologies,” she gave a half bow, “I must have found the wrong room,” With a lost frown, she examined the seemingly identical doors in hopes of finding the other boy. But none of the doors held him. 751

~752

All the doors look the same… complained Devdan as he wandered down another convoluted hallway, shadows of slate falling over him. How am I supposed to find anything in here? He opened a door, found nothing and strode over to the next one, repeating the cycle. But he found nothing. 753

The tall boy stopped for a moment, sniffing the air. It smells like Rubli, he mused, letting the rare treat’s smell pull his thoughts away for a few moments. I can’t let that distract me! He resolved, continuing to look into each and every door that lined the hallways.754

In the middle of his hunt, he heard the light mutterings of what he supposed were voices. With each second, they got louder and closer. Their chatter was foreign to him. A hundred fears came into his mind, so on impulse, he jumped into the nearest door. Towards his luck, it was empty. As the voices passed, he let out a silent sigh of relief. Yet at the same time, he concluded, Finding Rajnish will be rather hard…755

~756

It was the sixty-fourth door she had tried. Rajnish had counted. He didn’t know this girl, nor why she had really taken him in. Did she know he was Rajnish: the gift of Lakshmi, and did she want his money? His alleged powers? Or did someone else here want that? Perhaps it was nothing like that, and that he was just thinking too hard. Perhaps. 757

“I don’t know where he is!” she moaned, turning around to her guest with a flush of embarrasement, “I’m so sorry—“ she stopped suddenly, contorting her mouth into clearly foreign syllables as she attempted to say, “Kshamaa,”758

At this, Rajnish could not help but laugh. Puzzled, she cocked her head as she waited for him to explain. “Kshamaa,” he corrected naturally. But he stopped, examining her face carefully, “You cannot be…from here, can you?”759

“Oh,” she smiled with ease, “No,”760

Thinking to himself, he mused, Where else but heaven do they have hair of gold? Naively, he asked, “Where is there no Hindi spoken?” 761

“My old home, Britain,” Was there a tone of regret?762

“Britain? You mean the place that is an ocean farther than the land of Europe?”763

She nodded, her eyes dancing in the light. “There, they called me Autrice, but now my name is Karishma,” Once again, she stumbled over the name. 764

And again, Rajnish laughed. Never had he heard a mouth try to speak Hindi and fail. “Karishma,” he corrected her as before. Many questions filled his mind to ask her, but it was at that moment that he heard a door slam from the side. At the sound, both of them stopped their movement and waited. The door remained closed. 765

Swiftly, Karishma tapped on the door. When there was no reply, she took the moment to open the door herself. When she did, there sat the lost Devdan. “There you are!” she beamed, turning to Rajnish, “I suppose I truly knew nothing of where he was,”766

Looking over the strange girl’s shoulder, Devdan caught a glance of his friend. “There you are!” he reflected, getting up. “I was looking all across this strange hallway for you! Where have you been?”767

Cheeks reddened in hue once more, Rajnish replied quickly, “Looking for you,”768

Satisfied with that answer, Devdan sniffed the air once more. “Where is that scent coming from,”769

“The Rubli?” That word the girl could pronounce. “Mother was just making some—let me show you the way,” Without another word, the three were following another hallway. 770

It took a few minutes for Devdan to realize that Aditi was not with his friend, nor this strange girl with hair of melted gold. “Say, where did our monkey go?” he asked, trying to hide the undertone of demand. 771

“She’s outside with the cows,” Karishma replied sweetly, “My parents ask in all respect that you not bring her inside,”772

When Devdan was about to protest why, Rajnish nudged his friend in the stomach, silencing any thoughts. “So, why were you two on that road…” Karishma asked to change the subject, “We haven’t seen travelers in this part in months!”773

“We are traveling performers!” the older replied hastily, nudging back a surprised Rajnish. “We cross all of India to show all people Aditi,”774

“Aditi?”775

“Yes, Aditi,” Devdan smirked with pride, “I’m surprised you have not heard of her!” Rajnish stifled the urge to roll his eyes. “She is the monkey you brought outside,”776

“I see,” Karishma flushed at the realization, “You must understand though, we have many guests here, and no matter how well behaved your monkey is—“ she paused, “Aditi, some guests would not be pleased…”777

“How could they not be pleased? She is a legend…” he trailed off into advertising the abilities of the new-found Aditi, Rajnish meanwhile carefully picking out the lies or exaggerations in each sentence, holding in the urge to laugh. 778

To both Karishma and Rajnish’s relief, the three found themselves at a larger wooden western door, which Karishma quickly pulled open to reveal an unusual room. It was larger than any room either of the boys had seen before, but it was filled mostly with a large wooden table, which stretched from the corners of the room. From one corner door, a woman emerged, carrying a large bowl of rubli. At the sight of new strange guests, she did the uncommon thing and smiled, which radiated even brighter than her daughter’s.779

“Welcome! I just prepared some rubli! Sit down, sit down!” she motioned towards the empty row of chairs. Western chairs. In fact, as Rajnish processed it all, it was all Western. As the girl had said, they were from that place called Britain. Britain is a very odd place… he reasoned. 780

Pouring the steaming milk-treat into separate bowls, the woman began, “So you are the two we found on the road? What were you two doing there?”781

“Traveling,” Devdan eyed the rubli with a watering mouth, “We go across India to showcase our monkey Aditi’s abilities,”782

“Abilities? What sort of abilities?”783

“She is very gifted in the realm of music,” he tried to speak intelligently, yet he was distracted by the sweet smelling aroma.784

“Is that so?” the woman layed down a bowl in front of Devdan, whose eyes instantly widened, “So tell us your names,”785

“I am called Rajnish,” Rajnish looked to his friend expectantly, but he was quickly eating the rubli before him. “And his name is Devdan,”786

“Rajnish…” the woman mused, pouring out another bowl. “I am sure I have heard that name before,”787

His appearance has aroused many questions, leaving an other-worldly air in Mumbai… the newspaper article from Devdan’s broken stand suddenly came back into his mind. Through all of this traveling, he had nearly forgotten that previous life, living as though he were the re-incarnation of a god. But it was not a life he wanted to have remembered, especially not by curious people with white glowing skin. 788

“It has become a common name,” he improvised quickly, reaching for the bowl that was set before him. 789

Putting aside the matter, the woman continued, “By the way, my name is Madhuri, but truly, everyone calls me Mataji,” Her natural smile almost outshone the shimmer of her hair as bright as honey. 790

After taking a sweet bite, Rajnish asked, “Mataji? Where are we?” 791

“Why, our home of course,” Karishma answered.792

“Your home?” both boys jumped in surprise to that answer. “How many people are in your family?” Rajnish added, considering the vast line of doors. 793

Mataji laughed, laying down the large wooden bowl. “We have opened our home for temporary boarding for those who ask for a place to stay,” her deep silver eyes traced around the room, clearly reminiscing. “It was not this big before, far from it! There was a time where we had to squeeze a group of nearly twenty people in a room no larger than a servant’s quarters!” Turning back to her guests, she added, “Feel free to stay here before you continue traveling,” 794

Devdan’s mouth was still buried in his bowl of Rubli, clearly enjoying every bite. So Rajnish spoke up, “Many thanks for your generosity, but we hardly have enough rupees to buy food—“795

“Oh goodness, I did not mean that you should pay for your rent,” Mataji interrupted, clearly flustered, “In this home, any man who wishes to stay stays at no cost of rupees. All that is asked is that he works a bit on this farm as he stays, to earn his keep,”796

“But-“797

“Please rest a few days with us,” she insisted, but surprisingly, that was when she got up to leave. 798

Turning to Karishma, he asked, “Could you show us where our monkey is?” 799

He at first wondered if this was the place she was headed towards. It hardly looked suitable for anything to live in, not even animals, with gaping holes and collapsing beams from the roof. Low roofed and small all around, Rajnish wondered to himself how many animals could possibly be stuffed in such a room. The smell that drifted from it answered his own question for him. 800

Swinging open the falling door, the golden blonde girl made her way through rows of cows, along with scattered various other animals. Their calls sounded at first like the moans of the dead in their multitude. But the blank face of a cow chewing curd in the corner awoke the sense of reality. 801

On the head of one of the restless cows was the soft grey form of Aditi, still unaware of the risen sun. Acting fast, Devdan wove through the mixed pen, silently hopping over piles of feed. Curiously, Karishma and Rajnish watched him from a distance and waited. In a sudden motion, he shouted at the top of his lungs while grabbing the monkey from both sides. The entire barn fell into a clamor. A few loose chickens began to flap around his feet as he held the startled monkey in the air. Her eyes as wide as two gold pieces, frantically turning left and right across the newly created chaos, Devdan laughed cruelly.802

Rajnish frowned, looking across the corners of the stirred up room, trying to part through the sea of loud, foreign cries, “That was cruel and unnecessary,”803

“It sounds funny for me to say this when you have known him longer, but…”804

“But what?”805

“You don’t see it?’806

“What?”807

“That’s just his way of saying hello,” She found it so simple that she sort of blankly eyed him for a moment, having no problem with the chaos. 808

“But he’s lifted the voices of every creature!” Rajnish protested, “All those in the home with wake, surely!”809

“Let them wake,” she shrugged, “It’s too late to do anything about that. If a person’s awake, there’s no point trying to put them back to sleep,” 810

Perplexed, his eyebrow furrowed in deep thought. What is this girl talking about? His gaze drifted from her to his friend, back to her. She must be mad. He concluded. 811

Every day passed very much like the next, in the eyes of Devdan. They awoke from beds of the softest silk, ate a filling breakfast, worked out in the fields with whatever tasks they were given (which was usually in collecting the jasmine rice), ate a long dinner, then fell to sleep once more to repeat the cycle the next day. In one sense, he hardly minded. He had never lived in such a fine, stable way—a bed, imagine! But at the same time, he had learned at a young age that “Good things never lasted”, and quickly grew suspicious of the hospitality and the blessings.812

When the sun beat down upon their backs, but no ears were in close range, Devdan pulled his friend aside, a troubled look spreading across his face. “Rajnish,” he asked quickly, “Do you believe…that what we see is sincere and true?”813

“Hn?” the younger looked up, slightly surprised at those words, “What do you mean?”814

“I mean,” Devdan let out a sigh, “This hospitality and generosity…no man gives such things for no return.” 815

Rajnish’s eyes scanned across the landscape, “Perhaps they lack help with their farm?”816

But to his disappointment, his friend shook his head. “They seem to have many people stay here, and their farm is not that large,”817

“Perhaps they just delight in giving,”818

“What?” Devdan looked at his younger friend in disbelief. 819

“Perhaps,” Rajnish’s voice shrunk. “There are rewards from the gods for mercy,” 820

“Oh,” the older smirked, “So you still believe in your almighty gods of tradition? You believe that heavenly motivations can cause man to do such miracles—giving? Building beyond human strengths? Morals?”821

“Perhaps,” he repeated. “What other motivation would man have to do good?”822

Picking up a broken stalk, Devdan answered, “For himself. That is the only one he can truly trust. That he can truly know,”823

“But—“ Rajnish persisted, “What if there was something more to motivate him?”824

“He doesn’t need it,”825

“Maybe he does,” 826

“The ancients needed that,” the stalk snapped in half, “We are beyond that now. We need no gods any longer. You, of all people Rajnish, do not need gods,” he enunciated each word clearly and sharply. 827

“Why? Because I am some famed ‘Child of Lakshmi’—some ‘Lord of Night’—“ he laughed weakly, “Are you telling me that even you—you who denies the gods, sees me as something unnatural?”828

“I believe what I see,” Devdan muttered as a wave of silence fell over them. Nothing else to say, they returned to their mechanical activities. The stillness of the lands reappeared to them. This was what they saw; this was what they believed. But, as both boys considered for but a moment, could there be something more?829

Many people wandered the halls of the House of Everlasting Hope, most of whom were seen one day, then faded into the distance without another word. It was never long before a new visitor would take his place. 830

The older boy thrived on this sort of atmosphere—the constant change and constant motion. His days were filled with curious glances from one hall to another, peaking into every corner he found. 831

“Look here, Rajnish!” he called one day, his head tilted across a corner. On the instant, Rajnish came and followed him. 832

“What is it—“ he began, but stopped at Devdan’s look of shock. 833

“You do not see it?” 834

“How can I know if I don’t know what ‘it’ is?”835

Sighing out deeply, Devdan pointed a finger down the narrow hallway. “That door,”836

Turning to his friend with a puzzled look, Rajnish stated, “And it is a door,”837

“Are you so blind?” his friend threw a frown at him. 838

“What’s so special about the door?”839

”Its what’s behind the door, Bewaqoof!” Devdan hit him on the head lightly. “You are telling me that you have never noticed?” Rajnish gave a naïve shaking of the head, nervously guarding his head. “Every time I pass this door, there is a flicker of light from behind it. Always. Even in the middle of the night,”840

Tentatively, Rajnish asked, “What were you doing here in the middle of the night?”841

“It does not matter!” Devdan stealthily dodged the subject, returning to the door. “Yet, no one ever passes through—in or out,”842

“Could he not just live in his room?” 843

“He does not come for meals! No one brings him meals!” Devdan reminded. “In fact, one time in passing, I saw the inside of his room,”844

Eyes widening in budding curiousity despite his skeptisism, Rajnish asked, “What did you see?”845

Seeing he had peaked an interest, he threw his dark hands out for effect, “It looked as though it had been untouched for a hundred years! All across the floor, there were all sorts of trash, and it glowed with mud. Even from far away, I could smell its stench,” he pinched his nose in the memory, “Surely, no man could live through that,” 846

Images of the Room of Red Lilies crashed into Rajnish’s mind—the childhood years of isolation in such a small place. But he survived; could not this man as well? Not wanting to bring back the years of childhood, Rajnish shrugged half heartedly. “Perhaps he could,”847

“Well, I still find it odd,” Devdan proclaimed determined. “Like everything else here,”848

“Not this again,” Rajnish sighed, “You still cannot be content with generosity of another?”849

“I cannot see anyone giving so much for no reward! There is a price for everything,” he turned his gaze back to the hollowed door. “Perhaps they kill all who come here and sell their innards-“850

“Devdan!” Rajnish rose his voice in disapproval, “Isn’t that getting a bit carried away?”851

“It smelled like a dead man! And what else would one want with the body of a dead man?”852

“Who said he was dead?”853

“What else could he be?” Devdan’s voice stopped, his body straightening up slightly. 854

“What—“ Rajnish began when he at long last noticed that Karishma was walking towards them. 855

”Namaste,” she attempted to say, her tongue baffled by the sounds. 856

Rajnish let out a laugh while Devdan turned the other way in annoyance. “Namaste,” Rajnish reflected, a smile on his lips. 857

In passing the mysterious door, it became habit to give a furtive glance towards it and the light that never ceased to glow between the cracks. But, much to their disappointment, they never saw anything unusual or different; no entrants nor leavers. Rajnish almost asked Karishma concerngin it, but quickly hushed himself. Perhaps Devdan, to some extent, was right, and the owners of the House of Everlasting Hope wished to keep the mysterious room a secret. Or perhaps, he shivered, some secretws were never meant to be told at all. 858

Many weeks passed to the point that even Devdan had ceased reminding about the mysterious room. Rarely did his glance wander over the forever closed door. But then came the day that sparked that sacrificed interest. On his way to eat, Rajnish noticed a faint sound. It seemed none but the ordinary, until he realized where it came from. Spinning around quickly, he barely caught a glance at the closing door. It was the door of mystery. Forgetting time or even where he was, Rajnish stood there, gaping at the door in disbelief. Perhaps there is an untold secret behind that door…he mused, breaking for his trance, running to find his friend Devdan. 859

“What did you see?” Devdan repeated in disbelief. 860

“I didn’t get to see anything,” Rajnish admitted, “I just heard the door close,” his eyes stayed lit in protest, “Still, I promise I heard it. Never have I heard a sound from that corner before,”861

Without a word, Devdan headed towards the door of mystery, passing wall after wall of doors. Behind him quickly followed Rajnish. Stopping at a rounded corner, Devdan looked towards the door in question. Closed, only revealing a slither of light, the door was silent. Patiently, the boys waited for something—anythign to break through the silence and to prove their suspicions right. 862

And it came. 863

Out of the emptiness jutted a piercing cry so sudden it sent ripples of goosebumps over Rajnish’s arms. Wanting to run far, far away, the two were stopped by a passing Karishma. 864

“What is it that fascinates you two with that door?” she asked with a jesting grin. 865

Looking to each other with reluctance, they spoke simultaneously, “It stays silent,” Provoked by her raised eyebrow, Rajnish continued, “It always remains closed, yet there is a light from it, and a strong stench,” his nose pursed in disgust, “We want to know of its secrets,”866

Her smile of innocence shrunk. “There are some secrets-“ she said at last, “You would regret knowing. The pain and sorrow that they carry is a burden you yourselves do not need as well,”867

Though Karishma’s words were intened to dissuade the two from drawing near the door, they only made the boys more curious, and more determined to discover its secrets. Everytime they passed the hallway, they lingered by the doorway as much as they could without an eye turning to them with suspicion. It was only later that week that they heard the cries and moans once more.868

“See?” Devdan persisted, “They must wish to kill him—whoever is in that room. They bring us here to kill us! I knew it!”869

However, Rajnish was not convinced. He, however, believed that there was something else in there. He was not sure what, but only that it was a secret he must discover. Between his thoughts, there was a sudden throwing open of the door.870

The woman who stood in the empty frame of the door had tears streaking down her face. “Hurry!” a voice called from the exposed room, and the woman was off, not noticing the two boys beside her. 871

Confused yet intreagued, the two looked into the room before them hastily. In their interest, they hardly noticed the smell of death and decay, only the arm limping over a white bedspread. Covered in all sorts of sores and blisters, every few moments, it would fall into unnatural seizures, occasionally letting out a cry or moan of pain. 872

“Good Lord…” a woman’s voice prayed beneath the cries timidly, changing towels that cooled his forehead, “Please heal…”873

At that moment, a silence of death fell over his bed. For a few seconds, Devdan and Rajnish wondered if he was still alive. But suddenly, a new, unnatural voice broke through the silence.874

“What do you want of us?” the man called out, his voice distorted. “Leave us be,” 875

The young woman beside him, clearly trembling in fear, wrung the cloth in her hands, eyeing him nervously. She knew this was not a normal illness, yet she had never faced such a sight before. But from her fear, she stood with more power than she had within her and cried, “In the name of Jesus, be gone!” 876

All was silent.877

Rajnish could hear his heart thudding in his ears. From all sides, he felt something unnatural—some power that was not of this world. Something more. Not sure what it was, he remained there, listening, waiting for something to happen. 878

Curiously peering closer to the door, Rajnish and Devdan saw the limp arm sway ever so calmly and naturally, as though the man had lulled into a peaceful slumber. The young woman kneeling at his bedside’s body shook, her eyes wide with overcoming the last moment’s fear. Her breaths were hasty and loud. But as her eyes looked up to the man she had been helping, she noticed his peaceful sleep, and the sudden vanish of many of his blisters along his arms. Letting out a sigh of relief, she whispered hardly audibly, “You are good,”879

A second late, the woman who had been sent out returned with a handful of herbs and water. Tears still stained her brown cheeks. “Aishwarya,” she called in a panting voice. The shaken woman at the base of the bed looked up. “Here is what you asked for—“880

“Th-thank you,” The one named Aishwarya smiled, her calm spirit returning. Taking the herbs and water in hand, she turned up once more, “The Evil one—has no more hold over him,” 881

Staring down at the man in disbelief, the woman in tears stood fixed, her lips traced over the words in a hushed voice, “This God of the whites is truly all powerful,”882

At those words, Rajnish stiffened. This God…is truly all powerful… What was this power he had just seen—was it the way to truth? Was this the God Karishma had mentioned time and again—the one that gave the name of this place “The Home of Everlasting Hope”? Was this God real?883

Looking over to Devdan, Rajnish saw a look of utter disbelief in his eyes. Shock, wonder and fear all melded into his expression. In half jest, Rajnish asked, “So—do you believe all that you see now?”884

Struggling for words, Devdan replied simply, “I—cannot believe,” After a silence heavy in thoughts, he added, “This is the sacrifice of this house—not a sacrifice of man to it, but a sacrifice of time from it,” 885

The morning clouds shuffled themselves into the new canvassed sky, ready to be splashed with the day’s choice of colours. At that sign, the young boy with midnight eyes had to sigh to himself, Today is the day. As much as Rajnish wished to stay, he knew the time had come for Devdan and him to continue forward. They had all of India to travel, after all. 886

But there was something in this place that Rajnish had never felt before—the presence of what he was seeking. There was something that filled these people—that made their smiles sincere and their days brimming with purpose and meaning. He had even dared to ask what it was.887

At that question, Karishma’s face seemed to open like a tiger lily to the sunlight. “It’s simple, really-“she began, “We…” she searched for the right words, “were saved from the greatest of pains,” 888

“What is…the greatest of pains?”889

“Death,” she replied coldly. He looked at her blankly, just as she expected. “We have seen…that we have committed countless wrongs, the unforgivables…but that we could be freed from them,” When he said nothing, she continued, “We found God,”890

Jumping in surprise, all of the beliefs and legends of gods flooded him in a sudden torrent. “We are the gods,” he remembered the words of Devdan when they first met. “Lakshmi is not a normal lady. Her beauty and powers are beyond man’s. But she has spared us; she must find favor in us. She sent you to me.” His mother’s voice echoed. “The gods only come to show destruction,” one vendor had remarked with spite. Returning to reality, the boy managed to ask, “What—is your god like?”891

Her smile only grew larger, “He is beyond words! He is my closest companion,”892

“Your—closest companion?” he echoed.893

She nodded, confidence reflected in her mysterious pool-like eyes. “He has shown me what it means—to live,”894

“How to live…” he thought, “You mean—you have found inner peace? Your chakra—“895

She cut him off before he began, “Nothing like that. There is no work in salvation; it is a gift available for all,”896

Eyebrows creasing his forehead, he remarked, “Your words make no sense,”897

“They make little sense to me,” she chuckled, “But every day, God reveals more. Assured in Him, I can have hope to live,” she looked into his eyes with a serious intensity, “Does that make any sense at all?”898

Struggling for words, Rajnish replied, “You yourself said it made no sense,”899

“Maybe one day, we’ll both understand,”900

That he would greatly miss when he left this place. He wondered if, anywhere in India, he could find what this place had, whatever that was. But at the same time, he knew he could not stay here forever, especially with Aditi’s growing restlessness. So the time came when the two shouted their last “Dhanyavaad” s, continuing on the unlined path beyond. 901

At once, Aditi sprinted out before them, chattering all along the way. Soon to follow was Devdan, pouring out unnamable curses as he reached to grab her. But Rajnish chose to stay behind, watching this curious place pass before his eyes. Only in lonely dreams did he ever see Karishma again. 902

“Rajnish!” Devdan called from ahead. He was met with silence. 903

“Rajnish!” he repeated. Only then did he see the small dot behind him that was his friend. 904

“What?” Rajnish called back warily. 905

“What shall we see now?” his voice brimmed with excitement.906

A smile in his voice, the younger replied, “Whatever India has to hold for us!” His figure grew closer, dark against the mid-day sky of gold. 907

Whatever India has to hold…Both young men considered those words, searching ahead of them. But there was nothing to see beyond the emerald speckled fields. Looking to each other, they both silently asked, “What if India has nothing for us?” However, that seemed to hardly be a problem, only spurring the two into a sprint. 908

~909

The countryside only thinned out more and more, until even the occasional farm houses were a rare finding. All that stretched before them were the small backs of mountains and endless fields of wheat, rustling in the thin air. The vastness of the place in which they stood echoed around them from all sides, making them begin to worry. 910

If lands could stretch out so long, could they find another place with food and rest? They could not live out in empty fields forever. 911

Aditi seemed to have caught this same anxious spirit, constantly hopping around her two owners on the dirt crested path, her feet carrying up clouds of dust. As the hours stretched onward, the boys grew accustomed to their companion’s chatter and hops, tactfully weaving around her with each step. 912

The glazed honey eyes widely searched the empty horizon from any place to gather food. Unfortunate for her, there were no longer any stretches of rich banana trees. Only massive rows of unnamed vegetables, to which she frowned at without thought. 913

Over minutes, which melted into hours, slowly yet surely, the horizon grew the peaks of chocolate mountains before them. Reaching higher with each step, they seemed to point to the heavens in testimony. There is something that dwells above… their deep voices could almost be heard. Realizing what he was thinking, Rajnish shook his head firmly, trying to think rationally. The mountains having voices…914

At first, the appearance of the mountains brought excitement and awe—a challenge to be faced. Never had they seen any mound so high, emphasized by the emptiness that surrounded their forms. But as they got closer and closer, the true stature of the mountains was revealed, stretching even farther and farther. Almost fearful, Rajnish stopped before them, looking straight up their jagged surface. No longer did they seem so heavenly and glorious. “So, Devdan,” he said, unblinking, “What do we do now?”915

“Well isn’t that obvious?” his friend’s annoyance broke through, “We go through them of course,”916

“Go through them?” the younger one’s voice trembled slightly in repeating the words. 917

“Of course!” Devdan strode ahead, leaving a reluctant Rajnish. “We must reach the ends of India, right?” When he realized his friend was not following him, he turned around with a sly grin. “Rajnish…you’re not…afraid, are you?”918

“Why of course not!” the words rushed out of the lighter’s mouth before he could think. 919

“You—the alleged Lord of Night,” the darker’s voice mocked in delight, “You are afraid of a small mountain range?” 920

“That’s not it at all!”921

“Then what is it?”922

Rajnish was left speechless, staring at his friend with a loosly hung jaw. Though he held his tongue, the fear of the great mountains shone through his bright eyes, searching for the peaks above his head. 923

“Alright then,” Devdan’s footsteps could be heard farther ahead. “I’ll just leave you here then. Good luck,” Aditi’s wild chatter-filled laugh quickly followed, growing fainter and fainter.924

Still watching the moving clouds above, hiding the highest points of the mountains, Rajnish waited for his friend to return. But all he heard was the soft patter beyond of Devdan’s feet, reaching the base of the mountains. Turning to face the other two, he let the gentle wind ripple across his soiled top. The boy and the monkey did not seem to notice or care. With one last look above in nervousness, he ran ahead, “Wait,”925

Every step was labor. Down below, he saw the loose pebbles roll, faster and faster. With a nervous gulp, tried to turn back to the path before him. I am not a pebble, he repeated over and over again like a sutra, I am not a pebble. He had to think carefully about where to step next, noticing the crumbling ledge lowest to the ground. An instant longing for the flat dirt path overwhelmed him. Every muscle in his legs moaned, crying out for the salvation of a moment’s pause. But already, Devdan was feet ahead, hopping swiftly as though he were a monkey. 926

Aditi… 927

All he saw before him was brown or charcoal, except for the dulled blue outfit of Devdan. But he Aditi was nowhere to be seen. Puzzled, he called up to his friend, “Devdan? Where did Aditi go?”928

“Ahead,” Devdan quickly replied. 929

Pulling himself up the steep climb, Rajnish quickly forgot his aching legs. Not wanting to be left behind, he found the strength to endure higher and higher, squeezing between the thin pathways. So enraptured by his own perseverance, he did not notice that besides Aditi’s occasional chatters ahead in the distance, there was nothing but a disturbing silence.930

Even as the hours passed, they had heard no sound, nor seen any signs of life. Words were unnecessary between them, distracted by the rough terrain, winding between the thin crevices of the mountain side. How far would they go alone until they found other lives? Would they be stranded on a lonely mountain, left to die…931

Rajnish preferred to not think that far ahead. Instead, he looked one step before him, and only one step, knowing he could handle that much. 932

Finding himself reaching a sort of plateu, Devdan took in his surroundings. The frigid air was only getting colder and colder, hardly a condition he was prepared for. His pants which were once a navy blue fringed at the ends, fading into a muddied brown. His shirt hanging loosely over his shoulders, he felt a chill of the wind wrap around his form. Yet still, the view was so beautiful.933

Though he had climbed so far, he only now noticed how much farther the mountains rose above him. Spiraling into the low resting clouds, the range formed Lady Parvati’s palace on Earth. Already breathing heavily, the awesome beauty before him seemed to knock the short breaths out of his lungs.934

Yet, amidst the glorious peaks of jagged mountaintops, there were two things that seemed curious to Devdan. The first was the echoed silence that stretched on for miles. The silence of death, he mused with a shiver. The second was the smoke billowing from a hollow side of a cliff. 935

Smoke? He frowned at that sight. That meant there was life in this place after all. But what sort of life that was, surrounding an air of death, he was not sure he wished to meet. When he noticed Rajnish coming up behind him, he called in a half whisper, “Rajnish. Look-“ he pointed his finger up towards the thin trailing smoke. 936

After examining it with wide eyes for a few minutes, Rajnish asked, “So there is life in this empty place?” 937

Devdan gravely nodded. But with a curious eyebrow, he asked, “Wanna check it out?”938

~939

It was a challenge enough to keep their eyes upon the fleeting trail of smoke, let alone to reach its mouth. A narrow worn path led up to its entrance, but with each steps, the wizened steps dared to give way. Broken debris, tumbling down a never ending slide, Rajnish closed his eyes, repeating the beloved words of relief, I am not a pebble. 940

The grey lemur, in contrast, delighted in the escalation. Naturally, she sprung up sheer sides, as though she were as light as the swiftest feather. Wanting to rise beyond the room of overflowing incense, Devdan quickly reached for her tail with a sharp pull, making her nearly fall off into the deep canyons of dirt below. 941

Parting through a mist of incense, Devdan and Rajnish searched with curiosity for the source. Nearly gagging, they found themselves in the doorway of an empty, shadowed room. Where- Rajnish began to ask himself when he noticed the humble incense dish in the center, nearly entirely drenched in darkness. Right behind it, there rose the silhouette of an old man. 942

Skin of oiled bronze, a figure sat without the slightest stir, wrapped in veils of different scents of incense. In a moment’s glance, he seemed not much different than a cast statue. At first, the two boys wondered if he was even alive, or even more so, if he was not just a passing mirage that would instantly vanish into the distance with the slightest breath. But there he remained, right before their eyes—having not moved even a fraction. About to move onward, they jumped when an aged voice came from the hollow room, “Life has not passed these ways for many a year,” 943

Shivers running across both of their spines, the young men turned instantly to face this curious man. Skin no softer than worn leather, the figure looked as though he were but a shadow—so dark, thin and hidden in a corner. His beard of cotton grey trailed in a thin rope to the dust floor, offsetting his milky eyes. Sitting cross-legged, he still did not move except for a weak motion with the hand. “Come in,” he beckoned. 944

"What brings you two up here?" the aged man asked, hiding the sulfured and silver teeth under his lip.945

"We are traveling across India,” Devdan replied quickly, a touch of pride in his voice. 946

“Tell us-“ Rajnish added in eagerly, “Where is the nearest village?”947

But the old man shook his turban wrapped head. “I would not be the one to ask, for it has been decades since I have walked across the lands of man,” 948

Looking to his right, Devdan asked reluctantly, “Are you a monk?”949

The bearded man’s mouth twitched half into a laugh, and half into a look of repulsion. “Most certainly not,” Resting his head on his hands, he continued, “You could call me a guru, I suppose,”950

“A guru?” Devdan jumped at the term, “But don’t gurus—serve as teachers?”951

“A former guru, I should say,” the turbaned man corrected, his right wrist’s steel bracelets clashing together as he reached for a crusted teapot.952

“Former? Why did you leave?” Rajnish asked, eyeing the dancing flames that warmed the water. 953

“These mountains, locked in the realm of solitude, hold God,” he replied, voice trembling with every word. Noticing their blank looks of confusion, he smiled. Or rather, it was intended to be a smile, transformed into a slanted crease of the mouth, unveiling a row of angled teeth. “One day, you will see the evils of man—One day, you too will wish to flee it—for something far greater,” he offered the boys the steaming tea.954

“What is greater?” Rajnish accepted a small cup, his eyes widening hungrily for the truth. 955

“What is greater?” the guru repeated. “The inner awakening. It’s fruits. Nirvana,” he listed casually, undertoned in sincerity. “The things man has forgotten: his spirit” 956

From careless lips, Rajnish’s thoughts whispered, “Spirit?”957

“That is what a foolish man does—“ the man continued, “follows the pursuits of the earth, paying no heed to his spirit. His salvation. Because of that, he falls into the eternal cycle of reincarnation,” When he was met with silence except of the meek sips of tea, he continued, “To have further earthly lives is a curse, a clear element of the flesh. It is proof of a life poorly lived—a life led with bad karma. But he who has a strengthened spirit, does well and has good karma, can free himself from the eternal life of the animal, and rise to be with the gods,” looking deep into his audience’s eyes, he added, “Perhaps he too can become a god,”958

At these words, Devdan’s eyebrow rose in slight interest. “To become a god, you say? How can one do that?”959

Smiling at this new found interest, the man answered swiftly, “He must see god through his spirit…Through Meditation. Meditation is a lost art, since this world no longer can offer time as a sacrifice. But without the discovery of meditation, how can the spirit grow? 960

“It is the realization of inner peace that meditation brings. And through inner peace, there is god. God dwells, waiting for us to find him within ourselves. It is a shame no one remembers this truth any longer,” the guru laid down his empty chipped cup. “I am glad to renounce that world…”961

A god inside me, Rajnish mused, his eyes no longer on the man who continued to talk. He looked down at his hands, wondering to himself, Could there be a god within me, waiting to be revealed? There were his hands. Just two brown hands. He did not have ten hands like Durga, nor blue hands like Shiva. Two brown hands, just like every man. Does that mean… he frowned in thought, That every man is a god? Then what does that mean, that the Hindi gods are so different? 962

If we too are gods, why are we not like Vishnu, Parvati, or Brahma? 963

The interest quickly faded as Devdan shook his head to himself in disbelief. “It makes no sense,”964

“One day, it shall,” the guru replied emotionlessly. 965

When he had finished with the watery tea, Rajnish asked tentatively, “Are you a guru of Hindis? Muslims?”966

Creased eyes narrowed in gravity, “There is no Hindu, there is no Muslim. To hope in rewards for the name of being Hindu or Muslim is foolish. Yet that is the way of man,” his milky eyes wandered to the opening of the cavern, where the overhead skies darkened by the minute. “I have little hospitality to offer, but I ask that you two stay until the skies lighten,” 967

Turning to look back out into the world, Rajnish and Devdan heard the short patterings of first raindrops, tasting the walls of clay. Aditi’s grey fur rose as though she were a cat as she scurried into the small room. Seeing no other alternative, Devdan, with all the politeness he could muster, replied, “It would be an honor,” 968

~969

No matter how many hours had passed, Rajnish could not adjust to the rigid rough floor. A few feet away, he could hear the loud thunders of jars of rain, crashing down the sides of the mountain. In the darkness, all he could see was a vague blue trim around the doorway outside, highlighted by scattered reflections of rising waters. Pure, clear waters. 970

How could anything stay so pure, so untainted by the darkness and dirt surrounding? Was perfection such an easy trait to master? He thought of the guru’s words, “You can become god…” But that was only with good karma and a high state of spirituality. A life of absolute purity. Even in the midnight darkness, he could see the building puddle’s depths, how there was not a speck of contamination. But surely, his life could not be perfect. He certainly felt far from perfect. Somewhere within his chest, he felt the burden of a thousand sins that he could hardly remember, but he knew he had committed. Surely, he could not become a god. 971

Now, whether this reality disheartened him or not is another matter entirely. As he lay there motionlessly, he asked hundreds of unanswerable questions, but realized that he felt no disappointment in being unable to become a god. In reality, it made him only wonder with doubt, “Can any man be perfect enough to become a god?” Feeling a jagged piece of earth below his back, he laid down the question with a sigh, Tonight shall be a long night.972

In the distorted reality of an endless night, morning at long last came with a gentle coat of rain, hardly noticeable in the rising sun’s light. Wearily, Rajnish arose, rubbing his hand over his sore back. With each motion, he cringed. 973

Across the room, he saw Devdan, stretched out with a look of complete contentment spread across his face. Eyes closed, Rajnish could tell he was lost in a world of dreams. Apparently, the grey lemur understood this as well, perched in her corner. Eyes of honey dancing with a new scheme, she soundlessly leapt over to where Devdan lay, mouth curled in an almost human smile. Then in a moment, the seemingly peaceful creature broke out into primate chatters that echoed off the walls, jumping onto her victim’s stomach like a restless child. Instantly, he shot up, a panicked look rose from his bloodshot eyes. “What is it?” he asked quickly, “What’s happening?” Behind him, the startled guru emerged as well. 974

Trying to hold in a laugh, Rajnish determined to do something useful , striding over to the untamed monkey with authority, reaching out for her arms. But Aditi was too quick for his slow reflexes. Before he got even so close as a foot, she hopped off of an enraged Devdan’s stomach, darting across every corner of the nearly empty room. 975

It was a small, simple room. Surely, Rajnish reasoned, he could corner the monkey. She was an animal, after all. So around the simple room he chased her. But her thievish ways proved to outdo his plan. Along her jagged way, she knocked down sticks of incense, resting against the unfurnished wall. Screeching as though she had no minds at all (Well she is just an animal, Rajnish reasoned), she ran into the few earthly items littered around the circular room, nearly cracking the faded teapot. 976

“It must be the curse of Hanuman!” Rajnish cried as he trailed Aditi. 977

“There is no Hanuman who can curse us!” Devdan replied as he got up, eyeing the monkey, “Only a devious monkey,”978

Around the circle they ran, led by the wild monkey, gripping in one hand a small golden blade. How many times they had followed the same trek, both had lost count. Perhaps they would have continued running around like fools if the guru had not proclaimed in a loud, firm voice, “Stop,” 979

Without a second thought, both Devdan and Rajnish stopped in motion, nearly losing their balance. Aditi, taking no heed to any man’s words, raced off into the world, which was far more dry at this point, still carrying with her the golden blade. 980

Before the guru could speak, a guilt conscious Rajnish cried, “A thousand apologies for our foolish monkey and the disturbance he has brought here!” Frowning up at Devdan, he added in a nearly childish whisper, “It was him who bought her,” 981

After many moments of uneasy silence, the guru only replied with a look at Devdan, “You must have done something quite unforgivable to that monkey in another life,”982

Holding his tongue, Devdan soon chased after the monkey behind him. With a sigh, Rajnish turned to the guru and repeated as before, “A thousand apologies. We will take our leave from you and bring no more disturbance,” 983

Surprisingly, the guru laughed. It was a cobwebbed laugh, as though it had been sitting on the shelves for many years, only now to be used once more. “I am sure you had no ill intentions. Surely, karma can define the difference,” looking to Rajnish, he added, “Many blessings for your travels. May you too see the truth,” 984

Somewhat puzzled by those words, Rajnish gave a polite nod, carefully stepping out of the small opening, looking for signs of Devdan or Aditi. But he was blinded by the sudden revelation of morning lights. No wonder the guru’s eyes were so milky… he thought, blinking hundreds of times over to adjust to the change.985

When he could see once more, he looked below the steep caverns to discover a grey dot perched upon a high ledge. With a closer look, he could define it as Aditi, smiling down at Devdan with utter amusement. It was funny how much amusement one monkey could understand and feel. 986

Racing down the crumbling stairs to meet his friend, Rajnish asked, “What happened?”987

”That trickster climbed up to the point I could not reach,” he frowned, “I think she carried away something from that old guru,” he cringed at the memory, “Something gold,”988

“Aditi!” Rajnish called fruitlessly, “Come down!”989

Taking no heed to her masters’ words, the monkey fingered the golden blade in her grasp, unsheathing it into the open light, making its blade glisten in the already bright light. 990

“Is that a Kiran?” Devdan asked, straining to look above.991

“A Kiran?” Rajnish’s neck began to ache from its position upward.992

“It is one of the signs of the Sikhs,” memories flooded his mind, which he quickly shook off, “Very strange men, the Sikhs are,”993

“Do you suppose that guru was-“994

“Probably. He had a silver bangle as well,” Devdan mused, “That too is a sign of the Sikhs,”995

“Why do they have such earthly signs if all that the guru talked about was one’s spiritual change?”996

Stopped mid thought, Devdan turned to his friend and replied sharply, “You think too much,” 997

“ADITI!” Rajnish repeated. When nothing happened, he reluctantly pulled out a small piece of slightly molded bread from his pocket. Eyeing the food, Aditi left her perch, carrying the short blade in one hand. 998

“How---“ Devdan looked, speechless, “Where-“999

“A gift of the guru’s.”1000

Swiftly, Devdan snatched the blade from the monkey’s grasp. With a look of offence, Aditi took the bread, throwing sour glances at Devdan every once in a while. Turning the blade over in his hands, Devdan remarked, “Very nice blade,”1001

“So---what is it for exactly?” 1002

“It represents defending faith,” his fingers ran over the golden case. “But it may be useful for us…”1003

“Why do you think Aditi grabbed it?” Rajnish asked, letting the silver monkey climb across his back with reluctance. 1004

“It shimmers in the light?” Devdan shrugged, “Animals just grab whatever is before them,”1005

“But-“ Rajnish began to protest, but stopped, seeing it a foolish argument. Neither of them could truly know. Eyeing Aditi, he wondered, Does Aditi think more than we know? 1006

Nothing but the horizon stretched before them for days on end. The simplicity brought Devdan to near insanity. “How can there be so much…nothing?” Aditi’s slowed down pace reflected his thoughts. 1007

“There must be something-“ Rajnish began, but instantly paused at the soft rumble ahead. The two boys froze, Aditi oblivious to the sound, meandering off of the path. With one swift motion, Devdan grabbed her by the silver fur, making her body fall limp like a stuffed doll. The rumble grew louder. Above on the path, there emerged a small black speck. 1008

“What do we do-“ Rajnish asked, his lips hardly moving. The dot grew closer, its voice raising with ever second. 1009

“Move, now,” Devdan answered, eyes focused on the dot. 1010

Soon enough, the dot clearly became a car—one of those curious metal boxes that moved that Rajnish had eyed with such curiousity in Mumbai. It roared like a giant cat, warning all who approached it of its mighty power. Remembering where they were, the two boys jumped off the path towards the withering fields, yet close enough to take a few glances at the shining car. 1011

Its coat shone with a colour likened to black laquer, shining in the noon-day sun. In its body sat a middle aged man, dressed in a western Suit with a turban. Glancing to his right, he noticed the two boys and the monkey, standing in an awestruck state. Without another thought, he slammed onto the breaks, cranking down the window. “What are you boys doing here?” he shouted, looking to the monkey, “Especially with a pet monkey?”1012

Drawing closer, Devdan replied blankly, “We perform, traveling across India,” 1013

Looking blankly at the two before him, he stated more than asked, “Aren’t you a bit young to travel on your own?”1014

“We have nothing else,” Rajnish replied simply. Stating fact, not seeking sympathy. 1015

Seeing that there was nothing else the man could do, he shrugged. “Well, the city’s nearby. A few hour’s walk. Good luck,” And with that, he drove off into the distance, once again seen as nothing but a small black dot. But it brought hope into both of their hearts that soon, they would be free from the emptiness of these endless fields. 1016

“At long last!” Devdan cried, “At long last, we have returned to civilization!” 1017

Indeed, there they were—once again faced with a sudden oasis of the contemporary, amidst a desert of the past. The stark contrast threw Rajnish back for a moment. The sudden rush of sounds greeting them as they slid into the outskirts against their silence adjusted ears burned for a while. 1018

But Devdan was quick to adjust. Leaning towards Aditi, he asked with a grin, “Ready to show India your talent?” The monkey chattered eagerly in reply. Pulling out the makeshift drum, Devdan raced towards an empty spot in the street, Aditi short behind. With a sigh, Rajnish followed behind. 1019

The grin grew on Devdan’s face, seeing heads turn as the beat grew louder and stronger, “Come see Aditi—the monkey musician!” he called as he watched his small pile of coins build higher and higher. Many minutes passed the same way, and a day of peace and perfection seemed to smile upon them. 1020

Yet in a moment, it was shattered. 1021

His eyes must have been playing tricks on him, for when Rajnish looked out into the crowds, he noticed that familiar face from yesteryear, the face he took only a moment to notice and hardly even recognized. It was the face of the robber from the tavern.1022

I am Rajnish, his own words echoed with regret through his mind. Was this man still hunting after him for his name? Or was it mere coincidence?1023

Was anything ever coincidence?1024

The midnight piercing eyes seemed to notice Rajnish in the crowd as well, but whether it was in recognition or not, he was not sure. The eyes quickly turned to the grey Aditi, beating on the drums enthusiastically, and in that moment, he melted back into the crowds. Confused, and perhaps somewhat traumatized, Rajnish tried to pass the moment as a mirage. 1025

“Thieves!” a single familiar voice rang out above all of the others surrounding. Heads that gathered around the monkeys turned, yet most continued along their way, “That’s my monkey they have!” he repeated, pointing a long thin finger towards the two boys and the monkey. His eyes of coal stabbed its victims more painfully than any blade, leaving both Devdan and Rajnish petrified in fear and surprise. 1026

“What?” Rajnish turned to Devdan, fear breeding in his eyes.1027

Without a word, Devdan grabbed Aditi and broke out into a sprint across the streets, Rajnish hurrying after him. A few bystanders watched with curiosity and others entertainment, most jumping for the now unguarded money sitting by the abandoned drum. Through the sea of those who had no interest either way, the man raced through, knowing that somewhere, he had seen one of those people before…1028

“That cheap old man,” growled Devdan between hasty breaths, “Selling stolen monkeys! No wonder he was so eager to get rid of Aditi,” Remembering the day she was sold, Aditi hissed. 1029

“I wonder-“ Rajnish huffed, “That man—cares so much—about a monkey.”1030

Examining Aditi carefully, Devdan concluded, “She is a fine monkey,”1031

“Or maybe there’s---something else—“1032

“Like what?” Devdan skillfully jumped over a toppled over bin of molded fruits. 1033

Reluctantly, he began, “I’ve seen him before. He was the thief—that tried to rob me,” Seeing Devdan listen with his full attention, Rajnish continued, “The incident that brought—me into the newspapers,”1034

Still in awe, Devdan asked slowly, “Do you think—he seeks vengeance?”1035

“Perhaps,” 1036

The two stopped in a nearly empty edge of the city. So many turns and twists had taken their very lungs away, forcing them to stop and rest. Their deep breaths could be heard through the streets as they took in their new surroundings.1037

“Do you think we lost him?” Devdan asked.1038

“Perhaps,” was all that Rajnish could muster. Silence filled the void of their words from every direction. This place, Rajnish observed, is too quiet… All around him, there were only a hand’s grasp of scattered people, all walking ahead as though they noticed nothing of what surrounded them. It was a sanctuary for now, but how long would it last?1039

Answering his question, a sudden voice cried out, “Stop them! Theives!” Instantly, the two boys broke into another run, no matter how weary their legs were, dragging Aditi behind them. 1040

The dream for fame across India with Aditi was crushed. But it is broken dreams that soar the highest, for they, unlike fragile new dreams, have grown strong, and have a reason to be carried through. So they still traveled across the many lands of India, asking themselves what truth really was, yet the memories of the House of Everlasting Hope never ceased to ring in their memories. It seemed that as soon as they entered one town or village, the next day they were off, and no man recalled seeing their faces again for many moons. Yet that is what births legends, and behind their ears, many people began to tell the famed tales of Devdan, Aditi the monkey, and Rajnish—the lord of the night.1041

EPILOGUE1042

It felt as though it had been a millennia since he had passed the rickety carts held by dust covered vendors. Childhood felt like a distant dream of pleasure, one he almost wished he could recall and relive. The shouts, calls, smells and colours all reawakened locked away memories, which at that moment suddenly burst forth like an elephant through a wall. It hurt just as badly as well. 1043

From all sides, he noticed the fake gold statues of Lakshmi and Vishnu, holding their many arms towards the heavens. Thinking of the broken Lakshmi in the streets, the one he had thrown away as soon as he left his home of childhood, he frowned. She had never stirred from the place where she had fallen, a story below his window. She had remained broken. Surely, Rajnish decided, she could not be God. If God could break so easily, how could He truly be divine? 1044

That left only the God of mercy, the one Karishma had spoken of many a time. What of Him?1045

Sending a rush of true nostalgic memories was one little stand, tucked in a far off corner, adorned with fading and torn papers hanging from the sides, listing the dulled books stacked below. He read through the list carefully. Some were ancient communist books, left over from before his time; others were titles he had never once heard of before in his life. But as he looked down at the stack, he noticed that one title was missing: Holy Bible. 1046

The cover was painted in an intricate kolam pattern of stars, each block a different colour of the rainbow. He ran his fingers through it as he had once before, many years ago, still surprised at how such thin pages could stay in place. This time when he stopped, the words that greeted him were1047

Seek and you shall find. Ask and it shall be given to you. Knock and it shall be opened.1048

He laughed out loud at the irony, unashamed. The vendor gave a glance of distaste, but continued on with his business. Seek and you shall find… He thought to himself, I have sought for the meaning all across India…and at long last, I have found something that has stayed the same…1049

Among the stars that had shimmered, only these words had continued to stay alight. Only now did that make sense. 1050

“Hey, Rajnish!” he turned around to see his friend Devdan, Aditi sitting on his shoulder restlessly. His friend walked over, noticed the book, apparently remembering much as well. After many moments of silence, he finally said, “We have some spare rupees; you should get it! You can read after all, can’t you?” 1051

Weighing the book in his hand, Rajnish silently grabbed for the coin purse in his pocket. Eyeing his friend with suspicion, he waited until Devdan added, “I may not mind taking a look at it as well,” 1052