drunk driver

"Good evening Mam I am officer Smith with the dane county shariff's office.1

What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol? hay I know you, aren't you that guy from the Village People?"2

how old are you? 3

224

dude, you were all over the road 5

no I was not sir.6

are you calling me a liar7

"no , you are just not right. you had no right to stop me I did nothing wrong. 8

please be quiet and listen to me9

you have no rite to stop me from talking. You're violating my 1st commandment rights! 10

I think you mean admendment rights.have you been drinking today11

"you are hot, I love a man in uniform"12

answer my question please. 13

I got distracted by your pretty blue eyes14

my eyes are not blue they are green mam 15

no way!16

have you been drinking?17

What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.18

Do you think you are funny mam?. 19

"no, I can't remember, plets see I had a glass of water when I woke up then I had som oj with breakfast and some cereal in my smilk so yes I have been drinking". 20

"Have you had any alcoholic drinks today"21

No Sir I do not drink alcohol, I drink Beer" 22

beer is a form of alchol, mam23

no way! really I did not know that 24

come on are you trying to pull my leg 25

whay would I do that. You might fall down 26

never mind can I have your drivers licence 27

shure her you go 28

mam this is not your licence this is your libary card.29

sorry here you go 30

mama this is still not your driver licence . This would be your cridit card.31

whoops lest try again here you go I think I got it right this time 32

yes thank you, please give me your car keys 33

okie dokie mr 34

I will be back in a few mminets , jsut stay here 35

step out of the car mam.36

Why I am tired37

becasuse I said so 38

ok fine I will come out, but only because you are so hot 39

please step to the back of my car, place your hands on the car please do you have any weapons on you.40

I don't think so 41

do you mind if I check for my safety 42

no, I don't care 43

please stand still mam44

"it's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes.45

No, No keep your shirt on please.46

I thought you wanted to strip serch me 47

no that will not be nessary mam48

spread your legs 49

"I don't spread my legs for just anyone, we just met" 50

please be quiet I need you to take a test for me 51

shure , but I am not that smart. Do I need a pencel or pen cause I ant got one 52

no you are fine. I want you to rase your left foot off the ground and count 53

one, one thousand , two, one thousand and so forth till you get to 30 or till I tell you to stop. you can start when ever you are ready 54

one, one thousand two, thousand five x, y, ,z this test is too hard! who can stand on one foot and count I don't think it can be done55

I am placing you under arrest for driving while intoxicated. 56

I am not intoxicated sir your test was too hard 57

no, you are drunk and you are going to jail.58

why?59

for DUI place your hands behind your back 60

my dates take me out to dinner first before they go all kinke on me and use handcuffs. 61

that hurts Bad cop! No donut! 62

you know you have the right to remain silent and you can use that right any time , like now would be a good time.63

get in the car 64

no I don't want to go in there I want to go home 65

well you are not going home 66

I have to take a piss sir67

you will just have to hold it til we get to the jail 68

I can't I really have to go 69

"just get in the car"70

"ok mr"71

"ahh that fells better but now I am wet"72

"you did not pee in my car did you"73

"74

a, I told you I had to go"75

"I just cleaned my car"76

I found a empty beer can in the passangers seat mam 77

O I collect cans to get money 78

how come there was only one in there you need a least a pound to get money.79

a I just started today80

I have to give you credit thats a good one nevere heard that before"81

"can't hate a girl for trying"82

I don't want to go to jail mr. can't you just take me home. Now that I think about it didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?83

"I don't think so mam". 84

I am tired and I want to go home I am tired and I want to got home show me the way to get home" 85

"well for tonight your home will be Dane county central lockup there you can sober up in the drunk tank"86

I am not drunk I am jsut tispy man. I did not drink any falcohol I jsut had eight beer tell you I am skunk 87

your right you are not drunk you are plastered88

Show me the way to be home89

I'm tired and I want to go to sleep90

I had a little drink about ago91

And it went right to my bread92

Where ever I may You will always hear me this song93

me way go home94

Show me way to got home95

I'm tired and I want to go to bed96

I had a little somthing about an ago97

And it went right to my head98

Here is your stop hop out Kaite wait dont fall down 99

come on lets goin in here 100

Show me the way home101

I'm tired and I want to go to sleep102

I had a little drink 103

And it went right to my Ican't remember ouch that hurt bad floor you mean good night I sleep now.104