No Room to Breathe

He followed her scantily clad figure out to the patio where the lights from the pool flickered at the overhanging tree branches eerily. There was a mysterious excitement buzzing through the warm air at the notion of their classmates and their hormones swimming together in a pool in their underwear at night. With her prodding, he'd relented and undressed to his boxers to join her. The water was warm, and he looked around amusedly at his giddy classmates, drinking beers and splashing up against each other. Alyssa and Morgan were being cornered by a ring of guys, several of whom were his friends, flirting and giggling along with them. Alyssa saw him then, and yelled in that high-pitched voice that everyone recognized as hers.1

"Tay Emerson! Take it off, baby!"2

He could feel heat on his cheeks at her shrill voice, but he turned to her as she swam away from the group, laughing.3

"God shut up Alyssa," He heard himself saying with sarcasm as her blonde head bobbed above the water; her makeup was yet unmarred and just the tip of her ponytail dipped into the water. He didn't find her attractive like most of the guys did. She was loud, and at times abrasive. She thought that she owned the male gender, he'd thought. He'd always detected a sort of defiance in her tone with the not-always-playful insulting she threw at him, and he wondered if it was because he'd never given her the satisfaction of him falling to her feet like she craved. Knowing that, as he looked back on it, he should have taken it as a compliment that she felt her 'territory' threatened by him.4

"Oh Tay, lighten up...I'm kidding," She said as she pushed her chest into his abdomen, adding with a pout, "But seriously..."5

With that, she swam back to Morgan, and a few guys within ear shot ogled him incredulously. He smirked a little enjoying their expressions, but unknowingly, he'd rathered they'd worn them for a different reason. He knew Alyssa had known it, too.6

He turned back to Stephanie who was looking at him with a hint of disgust on her pretty face.7

"She's so annoying, I don't know why you hang out with her." She said, smoothing back her hair and wiping the water from her eyelashes.8

He shrugged with minimal irritation.9

"I don't...she needed a ride." He explained. He'd been picking up on a certain tension between her and Alyssa. Nobody should be fighting over anyone's attention here, and obviously he held no interest in Alyssa.10

"Oh God, whatever!" She grinned, splashing at him, but he was serious even as he splashed her back with laughter. He took the last drink from his beer and was feeling the warming, fuzzy effects of the alcohol.11

Stephanie swam to the wall and put their bottles down before executing a graceful flip turn and swimming around him playfully. She surfaced just as he'd looked up to see a naked Johnathan take a running leap and hurtle towards them in the cannon ball position. He landed with a huge splash and they both cringed, cowering in the spray of chlorinated water that rained over them.12

"Beautiful," He'd commented on both her little dance and sarcastically at his cannon ball. Johnathan surfaced beside them, and sputtered with laughter. She grinned, and he felt a pang of excitement course through him. She said something with sarcasm to Johnathan, and Alyssa caught his eye as he looked around to see who else had just partaken in Johnathan's intoxicated display. Her eyebrows were raised, and he could feel the unspoken look she wore that read 'I knew that'd peak your interest'. He shrugged it off, and his gaze settled on Stephanie swaying before him, the pool lighting reflecting in her green eyes.13

She swam close playfully, a telling grin at her lips. She was 18, and he was 16, but they probably looked about the same age with their height difference. He could see that she had feelings for him, but neither of them had really acknowledged it before. She tried to kiss him right then but he pulled back. His heart thudded in his chest and he suggested that they get out--or at least away from everyone. She pushed against him with an intoxicated smile and nodded. He wasn't sure where they were going to go, but she ran to the gate leading to the front yard with laughter. He followed, protesting that they probably shouldn't go into the front yard, but she'd tugged at the door of his car in the driveway with exuberant laughter.14

"Here, Tay, in here!"15

He hesitated at first for obvious reasons, but realized that they were both in the front yard now basically naked in their wet underwear. A car slowed in front of the house, and he shook with the keys as he tried to unlock the door. She clamored into the back seat, gasping for breath in her laughter as he hurried in and shut the door before anyone saw them. The car was sticky without the breeze, and they bumped into each other as they giggled in the adrenaline of passerbys. He could feel her warmth and as she crawled over him, he realized she'd taken off her clothes and her body was warm and naked against his. His boxers were gone somehow, and he whimpered with the intensity of her warmth as she sat on him.16

"Is this ok? Tay is it ok? She asked in a hurried whimper, her voice shaking with the physical tension. Thinking clearly in this heated moment was scarcely possible and he nodded, groaning as she gasped and pushed towards him instinctively. Colors blazed before his eyes with her warmth as she moved on top of him and he could feel the seatbelt latch dig into his scalp as his head tossed back against it in his writhing. As soon as it had happened, it was over and they laid against each other gasping for air in an oxygen-depleted, drunken, and guilty stupor.

Author notes

A contest entry on careless mistakes. Don't put yourself in this position. Literally, kids, don't.

Especially if you're gay.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Naive.
    April 15, 2008
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    Heh. I agree with you about not putting yourself in this situation. ESPECIALLY if you're gay. Great advice. Anywho...This was another great piece with brillant emotions, descriptions, and depth. I'm always inspired by what you write. Seriously. And congrats on the win!



    -jj


  • maiohmai
    April 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked it, you could really get into his point of view. Congrats on the contest win!!

    Keep writing!!


  • GrimDeath
    March 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very well written. Great job


  • cognitivedistortion
    March 27, 2008

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    That was beautifully written, as usual with your writes. It had sort of a sad pang to it though, but I can't really say if it was the ending or the whole piece in general. I was a little slow in remembering who Tay was though, but remember now lol. I know you get positive comments all the time, but you're the only who I have never left a negative one for. At least, not that I remember. I honestly look forward to reading more by you.

    cd


  • Crying Angel Eyes
    March 27, 2008
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    This was cool...

    i really liked it and you know good luck


  • roars-in-public
    March 26, 2008

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    You write it in third person, which is different for you (because I'm pretty sure most other things are in first person, yes?) but it has the reader take a step back and allows them to get a wider range of points of view, which works here because there are a lot more people in this scene than you have usually...
    Also, forgive me for my entirely technical answer! Other than that, I reallyreally don't know what to say!
    Consistent awesomeness in writing. Always clear and descriptive. Don't ever stop!!

1 - 7 of 7