Cars and Karma

I looked at the girl, Satina, standing in the street. We used to be friends, but she had betrayed my trust way too many times. We stopped talking because she had tried to fuck my ex-boyfriend when we were still dating. She had eventually convinced him, which was why he was now an ex. She couldn't just let me be so she then spread rumors to all of my friends that she had gotten an STD from him, which had obviously come from me. She tried to get them to believe I was a slut and had cheated on Evan from the start. They ignored her claims and told her to “Shove it”. She eventually stopped trying to get to me through my friends and instead went after anyone I liked. She fucked three potential boyfriends before I could even ask them out. Finally, I found one I liked who held out against her feminine wiles. James and I started dating a year ago, and he refuses to even talk to her, let alone hang out with her. She had eventually given up on James and gone after my friends' boyfriends. 1

I bobbed my head to the music on my MP3 player as I watched Satina. Why the hell was she in the street? Especially when a car was coming? Wait... a car was coming? I glanced at the car and at Satina realizing it wasn't going to stop. I had a split second of indecision before I threw myself into a dash to grab Satina out of the way. I shouldn't have waited. The car only began braking when the driver saw us. I had just reached Satina and shoved her when I felt the impact on my right side. The last thing I remember is thinking “I shouldn't have waited to push her”. 2

Heaven was nice. Although I was kind of confused as to how I got here. I was never religious. If anything I was anti-religion. How the hell did I get to heaven? I stepped up to the angel in front of the huge pearly gates. What was his name again? I had never owned a bible and I wasn't sure how to address him.3

“Hello, Lura. If you'll step this way, heaven is waiting for you,” the angel said motioning behind him. The giant gates opened silently. Bright light was behind them and I could see angels flying around. 4

It slowly dawned on me I was dead. I'm a bit slow at times. “What the fuck is going on here? How the fuck did I make it to heaven?!” 5

The angel looked at me with a slight frown at my language. “Well, as you've probably guessed, you wouldn't normally be here, but because you selflessly saved Satina from death, you got a free pass to heaven.”6

“I died saving Satina?!” I asked incredulously. “That bitch fucking killed me?! Tell me you're kidding!”7

“Unfortunately no, I'm not kidding. Satina didn't kill you though. You saved her from death and inadvertently died. She's got a couple broken bones because the car didn't entirely miss her, but she'll survive. You should be happy, you're getting into heaven!” The angel told me smiling again at the thought.8

“I died saving Satina. If it wasn't for her stupid ass standing in the god-damned road, I wouldn't be dead!” I cried on the brink of a melt-down. I didn't normally swear this much but dying is stressful!9

“Lura, you need to go into heaven now. People are waiting for you,” The angel said trying to cajole me me in the pearly gates. 10

I looked at him with wide eyes before saying, “No! Send me back to my body! I don't want to be dead!”11

He looked at me with a creased brow. He didn't seem the type to get frustrated easily, and I sensed I was getting on his last nerve. “We can't do that Lura. You're dead. You can't magically come back to life.”12

“It's happened before! Near death experiences. I hear about them all the time. People are always talking about how they see these big pearly gates and how god didn't want them yet!” I could feel tears forming in my eyes.13

“They weren't actually dead. Their souls were still attached to their bodies. Yours isn't. You are fully dead,” He said calmly. 14

I turned and fled hoping there was some sign of how I got there. I ran past more people on their way to the gates. All I saw was endless clouds. I ran and kept running. The tears covered my vision making it hard for me to see. I stopped to blink them away and saw that I was facing the gates again. I gaped in disbelief. 15

“You can't just run away up here. You'll always be led back to these gates. It's the only way to go. You can't even find a way down to hell,” The angel informed me. “Now will you go through the gates?” 16

I glared at him and wiped away more tears. I took a deep breath, realized I didn't need to breathe, and stalked through the pearly gates into the bright light. I saw my grandmother and my two grandfathers standing there. I had never met my grandfathers because they had died before I was born, but my grandmother had been very close to me. I had taken her death hard. I ran into her arms and cried onto her shoulder. I cried great wracking sobs that not even she could stop. 17

Once I finally stopped crying I met my grandfathers. The three grandparents showed me around heaven. I saw where the collegium of gods and goddesses ruled over everything. They told me that all the gods existed and no one was more powerful than another. They all ruled over the people who worshiped them. For those people, like me, who didn't have a specific religion, they took turns deciding what happened to them. I thought it was kind of a weird system, but it had worked since the beginning of time. My grandparents finally showed where we could watch our family and friends. It was a building with tons of small rooms in it. In each room was what on earth would equate to a TV where we could change the channel to different people's lives. They warned me it'd be hard to watch so soon after my death but I ignored them and got myself a room. 18

I sat on the comfy cloud couch and turned on the TV thing. I thought immediately of my parents and the TV switched to show my parents living room. My parents sat on the couch clutching each other in tears. My dad cried silently, while my mom sobbed into his shirt. My younger brother sat on the arm chair with his eyes red from crying and a used up tissue clutched in his pudgy hand. It was then that I noticed my boyfriend sat by himself on the window seat. He had no tears on his face, but the pain in his eyes was enough to send me over the edge into uncontrolled sobs again. I reached out to the screen to touch his face, but I wasn't there. I couldn't comfort him. I couldn't bear to see it again and I ran from the room. 19

My Grandmother stood outside the building waiting for me. She gathered my sobbing form into her arms and stroked my hair lovingly. She whispered that it would be okay, but I didn't believe her. I didn't think the pain would ever stop. 20

It took me two months before I went back to the TV building. I had done the normal things people in heaven do. That is, I didn't do anything. In heaven you don't seem to get bored. It's impossible apparently. I sat for three days straight just staring at the sun without thinking about anything and without getting bored. When I finally went back to observe the living, I was so nervous. It took me awhile before I could even turn the TV on. When I finally did. I wished I hadn't. It had tuned to my boyfriend, James, with what was apparently his new girlfriend. Satina sat on the couch with him, her left arm was in a cast. She had a neck brace on also. James had his arm around her and she was smiling up at him as if he was the light of her life. I wanted to kill them both. I saved her god-damned life but not so that they could canoodle! I threw the TV remote at the TV and screamed. I wished I had just let her get hit by the car. It would have been her own damn fault! 21

I calmed down enough to think clearly for a minute. Obviously they were just friends for emotional support. They weren't dating. He wouldn't do that to me. I wanted him to be happy but not with her. She was psychotic. I flicked the TV over to my parents. I saw my mom working in the kitchen. She looked older. She had more gray in her hair and a couple more wrinkles that weren't there before the accident. My dad came in and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled at him, but it wasn't the same smile as before. It was a sad kind of smile. It brought tears to my eyes, that smile. I flicked the TV to my little brother. He sat on his computer and played his video game. It was one of his strategy games where he was the hero saving the princess. He was almost done with the game and I could read the text on the screen. The villain was telling my brother he would never vanquish him. He would never be able to save Princess Lura. Evidently it was a game where you could change the name of the princess and he had named her after me. I started to cry silently. I watched as he did beat the evil doer but he didn't seem as interested as he used to. When I was alive, he would jump around the room and do his stupid little victory dance. I used to get so mad because he would make so much noise when doing it. I missed him so much. Even though we fought I missed the little booger. I flipped off the TV and left the room. 22

I thought heaven was supposed to be a happy place, but I knew I wasn't supposed to be dead. I wasn't supposed to be here so I couldn't enjoy all of the aspects of heaven. I didn't want to be dead. I wanted to be alive. I wanted to hang out with my friends again. I wanted to spend the entire afternoon in my boyfriends arms just laying in the grass watching the clouds go by. I wanted to sit down to a home made dinner and argue with my brother. I didn't want to be dead! 23

I went back to see my grandmother in her phrontistery. She sat serenely reading a book. She was so beautiful in her white gown. She looked up at me as soon as I walked into her space and smiled. “What is it dear?” She asked noticing my expression. 24

“They're still so sad. I made them so sad,” I said tears still leaking from my eyes.25

“Of course they are! They loved you very much, but they're also proud of you. You saved someone's life. Someone you didn't even like. They love you so much,” She said patting the seat next to her. I walked over and lay so that my head was in her lap. “Did you know there was an article in the paper written about you after the accident? They wrote about how you saved that Satina. They interviewed people who knew you. Your friends told the reporter how you didn't even like Satina. You can bet she didn't like that,” My grandma said conspiratorially. 26

I smiled through my tears. “Really?” She nodded. “James is dating her now. It's not fair! He should know I wouldn't want that! I didn't save her for them to be together. She's a psychotic bitch!” I said vehemently. 27

Grandma laughed, “That she is. I've seen the way she treats people. Though she's not just psychotic, she's conniving too.” She stroked my hair for a few minutes before continuing. “There's something that may be done about her if you want...” 28

I looked up at her hesitant tone. She smiled down at me. “Obviously you've heard of karma right? What goes around comes around? Well, we in heaven try to make sure that remains true at least most of the time. If we know someone who has been particularly mean and has some negative karma coming, we can go talk to Barth. We suggest what kind of punishment may be appropriate. If he likes the idea, he'll carry it out. Maybe you could think of something for Satina...?”29

I smiled slightly at the idea. “This could prove to be fun.”30

I left my Grandmother and walked to an unimposing building on the other side of heaven. I walked through the glass doors to find a large desk occupied by a large woman. She looked up at me through her horn-rimmed glasses and sighed. “Yes?” She asked.31

“I was hoping to talk to Barth about someone who has been spreading bad karma among the living,” I said, hoping that Grandma was right about Barth talking to people about those still living.32

“And who do you wish to talk to him about?” She drawled.33

“Satina Ballstrade,” I answered her.34

“He is a very busy, but I'll see when he can talk to you next,” she said before getting up and going through a door behind her desk. 35

I stared around the room at the sparse furnishings. Apart from the desk, there were two chairs and a table in between. The table had some tabloids on it, but none that I had ever seen before. I picked one up to find a picture of Britney Spears on it. The headline read “After Her Seventh Breakdown in Two Months, Britney Goes Back to Praying to Buddha!” I smiled slightly and flipped through the magazine. Before I could start reading the article, the door behind me opened again. The woman came back into the room and looked at me with thoughtful eyes. 36

“He will see you now. Please follow me,” She said and motioned to the door behind her. I set down the magazine and followed her through the door. We went through a room with a flurry of activity. About twenty desks were in rows around the room. Papers were scattered everywhere while people rushed around to grab things from others' desks. I overheard one person talking to another about the bad karma caused by the united states in general around the world. Apparently it was getting pretty bad. Hurricane Katrina didn't wake the people on Earth up enough that they were thinking of making an even worse natural disaster. I shuddered to think what that could be. Soon we were approaching a mahogany door at the back of the room. The woman opened the door, but stood back to let me go in. She shut the door behind me and I was alone to look over the office. It starkly contrasted the previous room, as the office was completely calm and organized. There was a window behind the desk that overlooked some part of heaven and lit up the bookshelves on the walls to my right and left. Sitting at the desk was a very short round angel. 37

He looked up at me and smiled, holding out his hand. “I'm Barth, and you are...?”38

“I'm Lura,” I said, shaking his hand.39

He motioned to a seat in front of his desk and I sat down before he continued, “I've pulled up Satina's file and find this most intriguing.” He said, motioning to the touchscreen on his desk. I looked down and he began to read. “In the last six months, she has failed three times to help an old woman who dropped something, she did not stop at the scene of an accident and caused one person to lose their life, and further she has caused an accident in which another person lost their life. I believe that person was you,” He looked up at me with a worried crease between his eyes. “I looked at your file, and you weren't supposed to die until you were well above sixty. Did you know she wanted you to see her get hit? She was hoping you would feel guilty at the very least, if not pledge eternal friendship.” 40

My mouth dropped in surprise, “Are you serious?!” 41

He nodded, “She has been spreading very bad karma everywhere. I don't know why we didn't catch it before. We should have seen her aura turn black long ago. Something else puzzles me,” He said perplexed, “She has kept having good things happen to her. She found $20 a week ago, she got a new boyfriend who treats her well a month ago, her wound was healed within a few weeks instead of the two months it should have taken her...” He trailed off and studied her file with narrowed eyes. His face cleared of confusion after a moment to be replaced with an emotion akin to anger. “Someone has been tampering with her folder. I'll have to look into that...” He seemed to remember I was there and looked back up at me. “I'm sorry to bring all of that up. I shouldn't share that much. I assume you're here to get the scaled righted in regards to her karma?”42

I nodded, “It seemed everything good always happened to her, but she never deserved it.”43

“Well, let's see what we can do about this, shall we? Do you have anything in mind? She has a fair amount coming to her so I could definitely use some help,” He added.44

“I hadn't really thought about it much. I wasn't sure what normal punishments were, so I thought of a few things. Losing money maybe? Or getting her wallet stolen?” I supplied, thinking hard.45

“That's a good idea...” He said tapping on the touchscreen. “I still need more though. She has a lot of karma she needs to make up for,” He looked at me thoughtfully. “She has been involved with two car crashes, maybe she could have one?”46

I looked at him a bit worriedly, “I don't want her to die...”47

“She won't die. I'll make sure she only breaks her arm again. She shouldn't be faking the injury still anyway. Or maybe she can break a leg or ankle.” He typed more out and saved the file. He brought up another one, mine. After a quick glance he closed that one too. “All right, I've added some notes, so she should have her karma turn very bad soon. I'll also keep an eye on her. That will keep her karma even and also will make sure that whoever was tampering with her file can't do it again.” He smiled and stood up, “Thank you for bringing her to my attention. If you'd like to know how it all goes, come back in a month and I'll be able to let you know.”48

I stood up and smiled, “Thank you so much. I'll be back in a month or so.” I turned and left through the flurry of activity in the next room. I thanked the woman at the front desk before taking back to Grandma's to tell her how it went. 49

Once I had finished telling her what Barth had said, she laughed. “Satina's definitely got something coming to her. I wish I could watch. I have more important things to work on. You don't have any pressing engagements,” She said, “Maybe you could go watch her life.”50

I nodded, “That could be fun.” I took off for the TV building as soon as I could and got myself a room. I turned on the TV to watch Satina cuddling on the couch with my boyfriend. She started trying to get frisky, but James pushed her away. 51

“I'm not really in the mood, Satina,” He said. 52

She pouted and whined, “But why?”53

“I'm not over Lura. She just died two months ago. I'm not ready to move on so fast,” He put his face in his hands and missed Satina's look of loathing shot at a picture sitting on the mantle. I was startled to see it was a picture of her. 54

Satina pulled James' hands away from his face and tried to kiss him, but he turned his face. She sat back, clearly getting pissed. He wouldn't look at her as he said, “I thought dating you might take the edge off, but I still feel like I'm cheating on her. She's not even here to yell at me about it! Look, I just... I can't do this anymore,” He said with a sigh.55

Satina's voice dropped to a low growl, “ Do what, James?” She asked.56

He finally glanced at her but looked away quickly, “I can't date you anymore.” 57

She threw her hands down to grip the edge of the couch. Her knuckles turned white and she looked ready to kill him. “You're breaking up with me? Are you fucking serious? I am ten times better than Lura ever was, and yet you want to break up with me?! You should be glad I'd date someone like you!” She shrieked at him. He flinched away from her as she stood up and grabbed her coat. She slammed the front door as she left and the walls shook in her wake. He sighed in relief and picked up the picture of Lura. 58

I didn't watch James long enough to see him cry over my picture. Instead I continued to watch Satina drive away from the house. She wasn't crying, but instead gripped the wheel in overwhelming anger. She muttered to herself though only every couple of words was intelligible. I could just make out my name and some swear words. I smiled slightly at the anger. I watched as Satina drove through town, making jerky turns. She finally ended up at a house I had never been too. 59

Satina got out and angrily pounded on the door. A guy in his mid twenties opened the door with only his boxers on. Satina pushed him inside and closed the door. She started yelling about me and how she was glad “that bitch” was dead. She ignored the man as he went in the kitchen and fixed her a drink. She only shut up to drink whatever he handed her before she began to complain some more. He sat on the couch and waited for her to finish her rant. When she finally did stop, she straddled him on the couch and began to make out with him. There was no love to what they did. He was obviously just a fuck buddy. I didn't particularly want to see Satina having sex, so I switched the channel to watch my parents.60

They were cleaning up the table after dinner and yelling at my brother to finish his homework instead of playing video games all the time. He sulked off to do as they said while mom and dad sat in front of the TV. They flipped to their normal sitcoms. I smiled at the fact that they were still keeping up with their sitcoms. At least my death didn't completely scar them. I sat on my cloud couch watching my parents watch TV for at least an hour before I finally roused myself enough to switch channels again. 61

I switched to watch James. He was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling as if it had all the answers. He had a picture frame laying on his chest face down. He looked dead except for his chest rising and falling in time with his breathing. I watched him, but after a couple minutes of him doing nothing, I switched the channel again. 62

I was surprised to see Satina slumped in her drivers seat with the airbag deployed. Her cast was broken and her bone jutted cruelly out of the skin. I gagged at the gruesome sight but I couldn't tear my gaze away. Satina was pulled from her car by the medics and transferred into an ambulance. Someone had hit her car head on. I watched as they cleared the scene of the two smashed vehicles. Once I had ascertained that Satina had only broken her arm again, painfully, I turned off the TV. I was glad that she had only broken an arm although perhaps she did deserve worse. Being dumped and getting in an accident was bad enough for one day, I decided. 63

I left the TV building and walked to the gardens. The gardens in heaven were a sight to behold. Every flower imaginable was in the garden. Even flowers that had long been extinct on earth bloomed there. The Garden was huge. One could walk for days without seeing even half of the flowers contained there. My favorite was the rain forest section. I headed there and sat among the tall trees draped in flowers. I had headed slightly off the path in order to find a cool glade to sit and think. 64

Was it right for me to go and inform Barth of Satina and her bad karma? I guess someone had to. What goes around comes around after all. I still felt bad about her arm though. The bone sticking out was rather disgusting and I could only imagine how much that would hurt. I let my mind drift where it finally settled on James. He looked so dead, both in mind and body, when he was laying on the bed. Was he really that upset about my death still? I admit I would probably be still upset if he had died instead, but he never really showed he cared that much. 65

I let the calm of the rain forest lull me to sleep. I slept dreamlessly which was a change from the way I usually slept.66

When I woke, I could tell I had slept for awhile. Although it's sometimes hard to tell time in Heaven, one begins to achieve some inner sense of time. I could tell I had probably been asleep for what equated to one day on earth. I got up and stretched the stiffness out of my back before heading back to the TV building. 67

Once in my TV room, I watched Satina again. She was in a hospital room with her arm in a cast. I watched as the nurse came in and told her that her fever was going down. Hopefully within the next couple days she should be able to get out. 68

Satina glared at the nurse, “Can I at least get a frickin' room change? My roommate stinks. Literally!” 69

The Nurse smiled slightly although it looked more like a grimace, “I'm sorry but this is the only room we have available right now.” She said as she left the room. I heard her mutter under her breath, “And even if we did, you would be the last one to get a room change. Unless it was with someone else!”70

I smiled. More karma at work here. I flipped the channel to see my parents sheparding my brother into the SUV. They got in with my dad driving. I smiled at the family outing. How I hated them and how much I wished I could be wherever they were going. My brother played his Nintendo DS ignoring my parents. My parents argued over what to listen to on the radio, finally settling on country. I rolled my eyes. I would have been sitting there listening to my MP3 player ignoring everyone. I probably would have said a couple cutting remarks on how much I didn't want to be there. If only I was. I would gladly listen to country and let my brother play his game in peace. If only I could be there with them.71

I was so lost in thought I hadn't realized where they were headed. When they got out of the vehicle, I looked up at the building in confusion. Why were they at the hospital? They weren't visiting Satina were they? They were never very fond of her. I watched them in growing confusion as they got in the elevator. I mentally ran through a list of people they could be visiting but the only viable person I could think of was my other grandmother. I didn't think she'd be at our hospital though. She lived in Florida. They wouldn't have transferred her up to our hospital. 72

They stepped off the elevator onto the fourth floor and headed down to a room at the end of the hallway. They opened the door and my mouth dropped open in surprise. I saw myself laying on the hospital bed. My body was connected to a whole bunch of machines keeping me alive. A doctor came in and my dad turned to ask if there had been any improvement in my comatose state. 73

I could feel my confusion mounting. I was alive in a coma? Then why the hell did the angel at the gate tell me I was dead and there was no going back?! I flipped off the TV and strode out of the room. Confusion was being pushed aside by anger. How dare he lie to me?! 74

My grandmother intercepted me on my way to the front gate. “You look like your ready to kill someone,” She said in her musical voice. 75

“I'm going to kill the Angel who told me I was dead,” I said matter-of-factly. 76

“That won't work too well. He's not actually alive,” She informed me. 77

I stopped and looked at her, tears at the edges of my eyes, “Why didn't he tell me I was still alive? Why didn't you?” I asked as the tears spilled over.78

“I couldn't tell you. God asked me not to,” She answered hugging me. “He wanted you to learn something. He wanted you to write about this experience when you wake up from your coma. You have to spread the word to be thankful with what people have.”79

I laughed sarcastically through my tears, “Yeah, because I can have a major impact on people on earth. So many people listen to me already.” I choked on my tears and anger.80

“Even if you only make one person take one moment to realize that what they have is good, you've accomplished something,” She answered my sarcasm calmly. 81

“Well how do I get back to my body?” I asked her.82

She took my face into her hands and kissed my forehead. “All you have to do is wake up,” she said softly letting me go. 83

I looked at her questioningly but as soon as her hands were no longer in contact with me, I began to fall. The clouds were no longer solid and soon the earth was rushing up to meet me. I screamed a blood curdling scream before I fell through a roof. 84

I felt no pain when I opened my eyes. I was on my back in a soft bed and I could feel two people holding my hands. On my right side I could see my brother. He was saying something about how he had finally finished a game that had stumped him from before I had my accident. On my left my mother held my hand tightly. Her head was down and I could feel hot tears on my thumb. My father stood looking out the window. I tried to say something but my throat wouldn't make a noise. I moved my head slightly and my brother looked into my eyes. He dropped my hand in surprise.85

“Lura?!” He asked excitedly. “Are you awake?”86

I managed a weak smile and tried to form words. Mom looked up, only to have more tears fall from her eyes while Dad whirled around and stared at me as if I was a ghost. “I'm... awake...” I said slowly, getting used to talking again.87

“Nurse!” Dad called out the door before coming to my side. Everyone began talking at once and I smiled around trying to reassure them. I was getting more strength by the moment. 88

The Nurse ran in thinking something bad happened, only to see I was awake. She quickly ran out of the room, only to return with the doctor I had seen my parents talk to before. He made his way to the bed, asking me questions on what I could move and how I was feeling. I answered him as best I could until he finally left, satisfied that I was indeed okay. 89

Mom excused herself to use the phone as I described some of what I had seen and heard when I was in the coma. She came back in just as I lapsed into silence. I was getting tired easily. A nurse came in to check on me, and when she saw how tired I was, she kicked out my family. It was getting late anyway so I didn't mind falling asleep. 90

I woke to someone holding my hand again. I looked over to see James clutching my hand in his sweaty one. He looked as if he was about to cry. 91

“James...?” 92

“Lura! I could barely let myself believe that you were awake!” He said breathlessly. “I brought you flowers.” He motioned to the bouquet of flowers on the table next to my bed. 93

“They're beautiful,” I said honestly.94

“Not nearly as beautiful as you,” He said seriously. “I have something to admit to you. I never thought you were going to wake up and I started dating Satina. I'm so sorry!” He said breaking down into tears, “I didn't know who to turn to for support and she was there. I broke up with her though because all she wanted was to talk about herself and have sex. I didn't do her though!” He said looking into my eyes.95

“I know,” I said smiling. 96

“Will you ever forgive me?” He asked.97

“Of course.” I squeezed his hand, concerned more about him than I was of myself. “It's not that big of a deal.”98

“You mean it? You can forgive me just like that?” He asked searching my face.99

“Yes!” I explained about my time in heaven. He listened raptly throughout my explanation. The Nurse came back a couple times to check in. After the fourth time of her coming in she asked James to leave so that I could rest. He promised to come back every day until I got out. 100

He kept his promise. When I got out, I was twenty-five pounds lighter than I had been when I got into the hospital. My hair was a couple inches longer. Any broken bones I had sustained from the accident had healed in the hospital. All I had to worry about was getting strong again. 101

On my third day out of the hospital James and I lay on the grass of a field behind my house. He held me in his arms and we watched the clouds go by. I waved at them knowing my grandparents were up there watching over all of us. 102

The End