Darkest Hour: Chapter seventeen

Chapter XVII1

She was dead. She lay still amongst the fragments of glass, like Sleeping Beauty, he supposed. He rocked back and forth on his heels barely able to keep the enormity of what he’d done from engulfing him like a wave come to drag him back into the abyss.2

Neil was gone, sent away with Jazz until he could bear to look at him again.3

Nathan scooped her cold body into his arms and moved to his room. He lay Cat delicately on the bed, folding her hands across her stomach. 4

The curtains were open a crack and a shaft of pale moon light illuminated her face. He went to the window and though dawn was far away he closed the curtains and until no more light entered. He would have to dismiss the staff lest a well meaning but unfortunate soul decides to air the room and let in the burning sunshine.5

Nathan clenched the curtains in his fist, almost threatening to take them down. He wished he was throttling somebody. He’s thought that having her under the dual watch of him and Neil would be protection enough when instead he should have told her to correct answer to the question “Whose pet are you?”6

He went back to her side. Cat still wore the once white dress and it was beginning to dry, turning a rusty red. He took it off. He never wanted to see her in it again.7

He ran his hand along her jaw line. “I’m sorry Cat.” He said wishing she could come with her usual retort. He untied the sticky ribbon from around her neck. Nicholas hadn’t bothered removing it when he attacked her.8

Nathan wrapped it around his hand before balling his hands into fists. Of all the things he wanted of her he did not want her to be like him. 9

He moved about the room rummaging through the drawers until he found what he’d been looking for, a pearl handled Derringer. He looked at the gun in his hand then at Cat who he was about to leave unattended for the second time that night, debating if his vendetta could wait another day.10

He moved appearing back at the party. He spotted Nicholas immediately. He sat laughing with Inocencio, Esme between them. Though the room was filled with people it was strangely quiet as if everyone was waiting with bated breath to learn what Nathan was going to do next.11

He moved until he was directly before Nicholas and aimed the sidearm at his chest. Esme screamed and clutched her husband. Nathan leaned in until his nose almost touched his. He was shaking. “She wasn’t yours and you had no right to do what you did.”12

Nicholas’s eyes skittered to the left toward Inocencio but he would find no help there.13

Catherine ached all over. It felt like someone had taken out her insides and stomped on them before haphazardly replacing them. She groaned as she tried to sit up. Nathan was on his feet in an instant, propping pillows behind her and asking how was she feeling. She ran her tongue over her teeth. They didn’t feel any different. In fact other than the aches and a slight stiffness in her joint she didn’t feel much different.14

She kept her hands clasped tight in her lap. She had to make a conscious effort not to touch her neck. She’d been bitten by a dog once. What Nicholas did to her felt worse be far and much colder. He had easily held her immobile as if she weighed no more than a newborn kitten. She couldn't understand how he could like being bitten, much less claim addiction. It was something any reasonable person would avoid experiencing again for the rest of his life.15

She pulled the blankets tighter around her. His blankets actually, she was in his room. “May I have some water?” She asked. “I’m thirsty.” Then she began to cry, realizing what she was thirsty for was not water and would probably never be water again. It was better than being dead, but that hardly felt like much of a consolation being that she wasn’t exactly alive either but in a sort of half state where she had to feed off the existence of others to live. 16

She began to cry.17

Nathan sat at the edge of the bed. He wouldn’t look at her instead staring at the dark corners of the room. “You shouldn’t cry in front of another vampire, Cat. Crying means you’re hurt or that you care about something and they’ll use that against you.”18

She didn’t pull her head from the blanket until Nathan gently lifted her head up. He wiped her face.“We need to go, the longer we delay the inevitable the worse the mess will be.” She fidgeted. She didn’t like the words ‘inevitable’ and ‘mess’.19

“What about Neil? Can I see Neil?”20

Nathan muttered something harsh under his breath. “No.”21

“Why not? I won’t . . . ” She trailed off. Nathan’s eyebrow popped up like a weed. “Eat him?” he finished. “Maybe I should let him come here, it’d solve my problem.” 22

He saw the look on her face. “Sorry, Cat. I’m just disappointed in him.” He said in such a way that Catherine knew what he felt did not resemble disappointment. She bit her lower lip. It would be prudent to avoid using Neil’s name for a while.23

Nathan stood and held out his hand to her. “We have to go before dawn arrives.” She kept her hands to herself. “What happens at dawn?”24

“If you’re outside when the sun’s up, you’ll burn.”25

“You don’t burn.” She pointed out. He began to look slightly impatient. “I’m older.”26

The burning in the back of her throat was beginning to intensify but still she didn’t take his hand. “How much older?” she asked and felt her skin prickle all over when he told her about four hundred. 27

He seemed to realize how reluctant she was to take his hand and instead stepped forward to take it himself. “Are you ready?” He asked softly.28

What an unusual question. “Do I have much of a choice?”29

He laughed once. “Not really.”30

He taught her how to hunt. It was horrible. It was his punishment for having the audacity to even think that he could make her love him.31

He had sent Neil to Jazz but apparently two days was her limit for housing pets that were not her own, though Nathan refused to think of Neil as his pet.32

Neil sat dejectedly in her dark and cluttered livingroom, staring at his feet. He lifted his head as Nathan came in. “When can I see her?” the question was immediately upon his lips.33

“What make you think I’ll let you see her?” Nathan asked. Neil began gnawing at the skin between his thumb and forefinger until Nathan told him to stop. Neil sighed loudly. “I know I messed up . . . ”34

“You didn’t mess up.”Nathan said and Neil looked at him first surprised then suspicious as Nathan placed both hands on the sides of his chair. “You left her. You left her because Jezebelle hurt your sensitive little feelings. You left her because Jezzie doesn’t love you anymore. You left her because you care more about someone who probably hasn’t thought about in years than you do Cat.”35

Neil muttered something under his breath. Nathan felt something dangerous rear up inside him. “What. Did you say?” 36

Neil looked at him from under his lashes. “She doesn’t like to be called Cat. She finds it annoying. If you really care about her, you would stop calling her that.”37

“And I suppose now you’re an expert on what she likes and dislikes.” Nathan said. Neil smirked. “Well, she wouldn’t tell you. You’re her kidnapper.” Then his smile fell and his eyes began to water.38

“She hates me doesn’t she?” He pulled his knees up to his chin. “I wish I could kill him for what he did to her.”39

Nathan slumped in the seat beside Neil, his elbows on his knees and his hands dangling between them. “You won’t get a chance to. I already did.”40

Neil laughed darkly, “In the face, I hope.”41

Nathan said nothing. A breeze wafted through the open windows stirring the faint scent of orange potpourri. He couldn’t help but think of Cat.42

“Do you think she’ll ever forgive us?” Neil mumbled morosely into his knees. “You for taking her and me for . . . for leaving her?”43

He began it and Neil ended it. Nathan would have laughed if it weren’t so painful.44

“I don’t know,” He said honestly. “But I do know she’ll never forget it.”45