“Not a chance King of Darkness!” the jock smirked as he continued with my torture of his choice.2
I go to Crawford High School, also known as Coward High, which is, of course, ruled by the rich and wannabe famous kids in school. It’s the typical American high school, the jocks and preps rule the school. The normal kids make up most of the population, followed up by the nerds and game geeks. Then bringing up the rear is my “social class” the Goths and punks. The lowest of the low the posers and emo kids bringing up the smallest branch of the social monarchy of my school. That’s pretty much the basis of my school; now back to me being harassed…3
“Hey King of Darkness, why don’t you call out your hell hounds?” 4
I sighed, “You’re already out, idiot.” I took off before he had had the chance to take another crack at me, literally.5
I hid in the locker room for the remainder of the period, waiting for the coach to call all the boys to dress back in. What feels like an eternity later, the bell finally rings and a black ball of chains and studs flies out of the locker room and into the main hall crashing into a black group. Seth, my best friend, and the rest of my friends.6
“Hey Nikki, did the whole football team come after you, or just the linebacker this time?” Seth joked around.7
I laughed a bit, “Just the one, but I’m sure they thought about coming after me at one time.” I showed them the bruises that were starting to form, and made them cringe.8
“DAMN NIK,” Alex, the punk of the group, yelled in surprise “did they walk all over you with their cleats or something!”9
“You know you shouldn’t let them walk over you, Nicolas. It’s not good for your own health and it just boosts their own ego,” A Gothic Lolita dress comes into view with a small blonde American girl in it. “Besides I thought you were the leader of the Goths here…”10
All I could do was sigh, “Yeah, I know, Sophie. You know I’m too much of a good guy. What could a Euro Goth do anyways? Throw my wallet chain at him?”11
Alex snickered at an evil thought, “We could always paint his truck pink and blame it on those emo kids in school.”12
“As tempting that is for me, I think I’ll keep my scrawny male Goth ass alive for a few more years, thank you.” I rolled my eyes, chuckling.13
“Leave Nikki alone, guys,” Seth teased, “he’s too hurt for our kind of torture. We don’t want to hurt him anymore than he already is.”14
Before I could shoot back with my own smart ass comment, the tardy bell rang sending the four of us in a gothic rainbow of colors scattering to separate ends of the school for our classes. Seth to his guitar class to practically teach the class, the teacher knew nothing. Sophie to her world cultures and religions class; she’s Wicca and don’t care for it much. Alex and I go to the class the beloved Mr. Thrust‘s art class. (No sexual pun intended).15
The majority of my class was prom king and queen wannabes, popularity rejects, and then the ever infamous jocks. Then there was the most talented in the class, myself. There’s really no true competition with the art in this class, they all have their paint on their doll like faces instead of their canvas, and I believe they called that make-up. Also, they would ask the stupidest of questions.16
“Excuse me, Mr. Thrust! Why do we have to do a report on this dead guy? Isn’t this dude dead or whatever?” the cheerleading captain for Crawford High’s Mustangs Cheer Squad.17
Alex, being one to never pass up the chance to be a smart ass, howls, “NO! I thought he was the latest fashion trend in Play Boy magazine.”18
The rest of the class roared with laughter along with Alex even me, being one that supposedly never smiles, snickers about the comment made towards the cheerleader. The cheerleaders where known for screwing the football players, so they earned the nickname CHS Mustangs Whore Squad by other schools. Yes, they did screw football players by other schools as well as their own team. Now that’s sharing in teamwork, if you get my drift.19
“Okay class,” Mr. Thrust sighs, “I know not everyone enjoys art as some others might, but the report on Monet’s paintings still stands and it WILL be due on Friday. No late papers this time people. I would actually spend time with my wife instead of late papers like I did last assignment.”20
“Wait,” one student said, “you really don’t live with your mother still and play some stupid role play game like Dungeons and Dragons?”21
I thought Mr. Thrust was going to lose his wig and let the girl have it. He instead sent her to clean the sinks, which everyone poured their thick paints into before the class ended everyday. He sighs and repeats the assignment once more, and of course most of the class groans at the assignment given. My teacher even said “not everyone enjoys art”, of which is right for the majority of the school population. The arts were a required class at my school and district, probably hoping that it would get the parents of non-athletes to stop complaining about no equal opportunities for the non-athletic students. The class gives the more creative and sometimes smarter (okay most of the time) “freaks” and other oddballs an outlet for showing off and being looked at in a positive light while the popular groups look like complete morons and not the other way around. I guess you could say that it was our time to shine in the classroom while the popular kids and jocks got what we felt outside of the art rooms everyday.22
“Nikki, would you mind passing out the supplies and such? I’m sure some of the class didn’t bring their writing utensils today.” Mr. Thrust asks, calming down from the students smartass comment.23
I’m supposed to be in the AVAS (Advanced Visual Art Student) program at school, but I chose to be put in a normal classroom because I wouldn’t like being with a bunch of egghead not-so-know-it-alls of the nerd world. Also the teacher was pretty cool, and I’m the Teacher’s Pet in the class. (I wear that badge with pride within the class in case you’re wondering). 24
We work on our reports to try to get ahead, some of us at least. The usual people that have low grades are sitting there primping and posing in their mirrors. I guess they are banking on sleeping with the teacher to raise their grade a bit. It supposed to work from what I hear, though I haven’t tried it or wanted to. 25
Once the bell rings the usual, the daily high school student run over session begins. The senior class is about 500 students by itself, so there is a lot of random knocking over of juniors, sophomores, and sometimes freshman in the halls and in the parking lots. It’s all in good fun though; at least it is until someone gets hurt and cries to their parents about it. I’m sure that does happen a lot, but I have yet get called up to the front office for such a thing yet.26
When I finally get to my beat up old white, not my color of choice, 1995 Ford Escort, I notice several people behind me. I know very well that they are my little beloved group of friends. I turn around and laugh.27
“What is I the Public Gothic Transportation Service or something?”28
“Hell Yeah!” they all said in unison and we all chuckled as all of us piled into my small, old car. 29
As we leave the senior parking lot, Seth, being in the front seat, turns on the CD player in my car and blares KoRn (unedited) trying to piss off the administrations for the weekend. I try to speed through the lot trying to get out of the jumbled mess of horny teenagers wanting to get out for the weekend of fucking each other. I got to the turn lane to get out of there, and some stupid jock cuts me off almost hitting me.30
“NICE TRUCK, but that’s an ugly son of a downtown whore driving it though!” Seth called out and flipped the guy off, as I finally got out of the school parking lot of hell.31
I rolled my eyes and growled at Seth, “I like my car thank you. I would like to keep it awhile longer!”32
Sophie and Alex laughed as Seth sulked a bit from me getting onto him for his actions. Hey, it is my car after all.33
“So is it to the park to piss off couples or to our usual spot for our after school meeting of plotting a revenge for the popular twits?” I called back to my group of friends.34
“The people that own the park got onto Lexis for that shit almost a week ago, Nikkei.” Alex warned us, though it was typical for Lexis to do that sort of thing after school.35
“Lets got to The Java!” Sophie exclaimed happily.36
I sigh and reply in a not so happy voice, “sure, why not?”37
“Uh oh… it’s the ‘my girlfriend dumped me there’ voice.” Seth groaned.38
“What did the whore do this time?” Alex sighs, and looks at my reflection in the rear view mirror.39
“She gave the ‘I’m sorry but we being two different cultures just wouldn’t work out’ break up speech” I laughed bitterly, reminded of the day before.40
Sophie rolled her eyes, “You boys are really stupid. That’s girl code for ‘I’m sorry but my parents don’t like you and I don’t want to hurt your feelings’. Also Nikki being from Germany doesn’t mix with a lot of Jewish parents, even in this modern time.”41
“Thanks for the unwanted translation, Sophie. I couldn’t have figured it out myself” I retorted mockingly back to her.42
What Sophie didn’t know, only Alex and Seth, was that the girl’s parents I was dating said that the whole German thing wouldn’t and didn’t matter to them. I even talked to her parents and said that I don’t agree with that side of my history and that I’m ashamed that it ever happened. I agreed with them that it shouldn’t have been the way that it was, but it was just Hitler’s view and I didn’t share it. Well, that was a bunch of bullshit and lies.43
Seth sighs “You guys have it easy being white. I’m the black kid on the block in a pro-white neighborhood. ONTOP OF THAT I’m the only Goth that’s my color of skin. I top out in racism, trust me I know.”44
“Okay emo kids. The diaper store is down the street, if I have to go get some for you. I will” Sophie mocked, “But I’m not playing mother to you two though.”45
All emo jokes and inside joke bashing was set aside, we went into Java (not an original name I know) and set down at our usual table as one of us, Sophie, got the orders for everyone. The guys wanted the dirt on the break up, I could tell. I really wasn’t up to telling them right away, but my friends love gossip. Why not? She’s only an ex-girlfriend.46
“Okay, the girl’s gone for awhile,” Alex keeps his voice low but urgent for details. “What the fuck happened with Cassie? You two were going to go to that German Goth festival two months from now, and then get married or some crap.”47
I shook my head, sighing. “What I already told you. She dumped me because of my background and her parents didn’t approve of me. So they lied straight to my face. She also said that she was just dating me to get back at her jock boyfriend.”48
“Probably that dumb ass that tortures you every day during and out of school.” Seth snorted.49
Sophie got back with all of the orders and we guys acted like we talked about nothing, but well what was going on in school. She doesn’t need to know about what happened, knowing Sophia she would probably cast an evil spell on my ex or something. So in the long run, everyone is happy… well okay almost everyone.50
Sophie sipped on her coffee as she looked straight at me, “I know you guys were talking about your ex. We all know that’s not the only reason you’re upset, even if you don’t want to admit it.”51
Her eyes can tell the exact emotion your feeling and what you were talking about that that moment in time. Sophie was always a quiet girl most of the time, and also very serious. We never knew her true intentions of hanging out with us at that time, but we accepted her none the less. After all she was a little weird, even by my own twisted standards.52
“SHE’S come back into town for the some crazy holiday crap her college does. Guess who has the displeasure of hosting the bitch this time?” I let it out, though holding back detest in my voice.53
“You mean your mother’s coming back?” Alex spits out before he has a chance to think, and his comment is met with a huge BAM!54
“No you moron! Nikki’s not so lovely older sister is back in town to cause trouble again. Honestly I think that stupid hair dye gets into your brain every time you use it.” Sophie rolls her eyes and bickers with Alex.55
“You two act like an old married couple.” Seth points out then the three get into a mini agreement about anything and everything.56
I couldn’t help but laugh at the three. Outside of my dysfunctional home with my divorced parents and bible thumper sister, this was the only stable thing in my life. I’ve known Seth for several years, we met for the first time as babies when his father was stationed in Germany helping my father with something eventually they moved away, they stayed in contact over the years, but we managed to somehow reunite over the internet in a Goth forum several months before my dad moved to America, and he basically taught me English. So it was fairly normal talking with him. I met Alex, Lexis, and Sophie once I came to the states and they were there from the beginning of the whole drama fest called my life. All of them are really odd and different, as with all four of us (five if you count the occasional appearance from Lexis). So we are bound to get into fights on the rare occasion, that’s their American way I guess. I just laugh at them, it’s funny to me.57
“Will she try to start shit with you and your dad again?” Alex, being rarely serious, asked me out of concern for me.58
Now it was my turn to be out of character, I spat out my hot tea and it landed all over a cheerleader from school. (Trust me it was well worth losing part of my tea for that.)59
“I really hope not. I know she doesn’t like Goth people but damn for the love of freaking music, she’s never tried to convert me or my dad yet. She’s out numbered in my house. There are Two Agnostics against one Christian; not so great odds for her.”60
We didn’t talk much after that; there was not much else to say if we did. I took everyone home then went home myself. Pretty uneventful day as far as I was concerned; until I pulled up into my dad’s townhouse’s drive way. Parked in the street was my sister’s god ugly off white van, with a Jesus fish on the back window. I knew my fun was over for the weekend. I got out of my car and dragged my feet to the front door, dreading the type of bible thumpers that may be lurking in the house. If they were actually in my room, looking for my porn collection they would never find it. I hide that crap away from everyone so I can’t get into trouble with it. Man, I would hate to hear the “you’re under minding women by looking at this garbage” lecture coming from my sister, of all people. I turned the key and good old Alex the Punk was right about me being fucked for the whole weekend.61
“HELLO NIKOLAS,” my sister over happily bellowed. “Welcome home! I need to talk to you about something important.”62
I gave her the ‘please spare me the religious talk’ look, but she didn’t pay any attention. She went straight into the bible thumping speech she always tries to give me. I screamed at her that I didn’t want to hear the crap again. She’s tried like 3503 times, and it hasn’t worked then. It won’t work now, I don’t want to become a Christian or really care about that religion. It’s my choice to be an Agnostic, if burn in hell that’s my choice.63
All hell broke loose after that, “Nikki, I’m just concerned about your well being! You going around with those bad kids all the time; they are bad for your health! Remember when you wet your bed that one time? It was-” 64
“DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?! IT’S THAT BULLSHIT STORY OF THE DEVIL COMING TO GET ME BECAUSE I WAS BEING A BAD BOY FOR NOT TELLING MOM ABOUT ME BREAKING THE LAMP, “ I cut her off, pissed off now. “Honestly Lacy NO ONE CARES! I don’t give a shit about your fucking God! He’s nothing but a fucking liar. He’s fucked me over so many times! So if he was a just as you say, he would do me this ONE favor and make you leave me the fuck alone for damn once!”65
My sister’s eyes started to swell with tears, “You always used to respect God and loved him. You were such a good kid back then; I know your suffering from some things right now. I just want you to be like you were before the whole divorce.”66
I sighed, not looking at her, and unloaded. “I’m not that kid anymore, I never will be again. I’m happy with what I have. I like things the way they are with my religion choice. I don’t need some made up, fictional God telling me who to be and how to fucking act. I have you for that obviously. If I have family members that want to control me, I don’t need some damn nonentity telling me what to be.”67
I left her to cry on the sofa and my poor dad to pick up the pieces. I ran straight up to my room and locked the door. I was crying too, not because of her, but just everything that happened that day. No one sees me cry anymore; it does no good but shows my weakness. It just shows Lacy that she won again. Also, I don’t want my dad worrying about me anymore that he already does. This crap has been going on since my parents split up almost two years ago, about two years after we came to the good old America. My sister, being three years older than me, went to live with me and my dad got full custody of me at 16. Yeah, I’ll admit my mother is mentally abusive, and that’s why I’m with my dad. My sister is just the same way with me, so it’s not good for us to be around each other. I’m now 17 and a senior in high school, and I still go through with this crap every time she comes over. It gets old sometimes, it makes me hate my mom more than I do, and I grew to detest my sister.68
“YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A DAMN SATANIC CULT MEMBER, NIKKEI!” my sister screams at me, probably waking up half if not the whole world.69
I storm back down ready to fight her again, not caring if she sees my tear-stained face or not. My sister is bi-polar and is not medicated for it; she doesn’t believe in medication for such things. She’s not legally able to take care of herself, the courts deemed her too legally insane, and so she’s in my mother’s care. I’m perfectly legally sane and she tries to tell me how to live my life, that’s really in an alternative planet. What’s even crazier is that my mom is a therapist for bi-polar people. It’s an ironic twist, isn’t it?70
My poor dad sighs and glares at Lacy, “I think its best if you stay with your mother, Lace. You’re doing nothing but upsetting your brother.”71
Goth being a cousin of Punk plays a big factor in my family. My dad is an old school punk, even though he is a manager for the preppy store called Gap in town. It’s probably the face that he’s over-protective of me, and sensitive about the two subcultures. So often times when my sister comes to “visit”, it most often ends with her making me upset, my dad having a few more gray hairs, and her driving off of my “beloved” mother’s house. Good riddance for that too, otherwise I would’ve seriously shot myself that night. 72
As soon as I hear her drive off I just finally collapse on the couch sobbing, just overwhelmed with the drama of the past few days. My father sighs and pulled me into his arms to comfort me. I wouldn’t have admitted it to him, but I always had liked him better than my mom. I did have a relationship with her when I was young. There were a lot of times like this when I was in my senior year in high school. I used to be heavy into the cutting and had to go to therapy for it. Instead of cutting like I used to, I just cry like a baby. It made me look like a wimp and weak, but I rather have messed up eyeliner than a scar from cutting again.73
The next day at school, the others saw the battle between good verses evil, okay not a good analogy but oh well. Sophia, being the more observant one of the group, saw me first. It was the famous Alex comment that made, a coffee induced Seth notice me. 74
“What happened to you man? Did your sister go in for the kill again?” Alex asked out of concern, unusual for him.75
I sighed and sat down next to Seth replying, “yep, and she went for the jugular too.” The others were silent for the rest of the crappy breakfast at school. 76
The bell rang to let us know that we had to return to hell, or what others call class. This also means that our zombie looking Principal Gloria Maddox was about to come out of her tomb like office and start the day by ordering us around. This woman’s fashion was about outdated as her circa 1970s glasses (and that’s NOT a compliment). Her ‘methods’ of dealing with troublemakers around school was giving them two weeks detention, which never taught them a lesson as it did back in the old days. (Well that’s what the students that graduated before me said). The four of us split up and went to our classes. Sophie and Seth went to “life management” or Sex Health 101 (yeah they took that their senior year in high school; why is beyond me). Alex went to the class of math, of which I’m supposed to go to. Today I get to go to see my lovely (and annoyingly perky) school counselor for some sort of “trauma” I still have apparently. 77
“HEY KING OF DARKNESS,” the captain of the football team and his whole squad of cheerleading whores screamed out at me, “you and I need to have a little talk about something.”78
I cringed, that smirk and tone of voice could only mean one thing and he had one thing on his mind… revenge for me getting away yesterday. Why today of all days? Well that’s just my damned luck I guess.79
I turned to look at him and gave him the ‘I could give a shit less’ Goth look that he’s accustomed too, “what do you want now?”80
“Oh just to talk and to maybe settle some things that we need to settle. That’s all.” His grin turned evil, and I knew for sure he was up to no good this time…81
I hauled ass before he had the chance to take that famous football tackle off the field and use it on me. My scrawny white ass against his big fat (shit for brains) self; I would lose just because his fat would break every bone in my body. I’m sorry but I’m just too damn selfish to die because of his stupidity. Luckily I made it to my councilor in time for the tardy bell. Gods my luck eventually has to run out at this point. Well every underdog does have his day eventually; so today must’ve been mine.82
My councilor, Mrs. Amy Carson, looked up from her work, smiled happily and greeted me in the way that I was some sort of recovering addict. I think sometimes she has some sort of past of where she used to be an addict councilor or whatever.83
“Hello dear, how was your weekend?” she put on a smile and perky voice.84
I sit in the chair like I did every Monday and shrugged, “Same old shit. It’s nothing new.”85
She sighs and takes of her funky glasses, “Nicolas, mind your language in front of a lady! Also going by your mood, you didn’t have a good weekend. What happened?”86
“My sister came over and basically started crap with my and my father once more,” I shrugged once again “like I said before, same old crap.”87
She looks over to me and she just stares at me, I guess she was trying to see if I cut or something. That was the reason I started seeing her or she started seeing me. I started cutting excessively just a few months after I came to the states and entered in the high school I’m in now, and that’s about it.88
“Are you cutting again, Nikkei? I hope you aren’t. I don’t want to take you away from your father like that. You’re so close to 18 now, it’s not worth it.” She looked at me sympathetically.89
She saw me tighten up and look away from her; she knew she had my attention now. The fact that she would say that in front of me; I knew she meant it was serious this time. Apparently there was a rumor going around that I still cut myself for whatever reason. People were always trying to get me into trouble of some sort. 90
I shook my head “no”; trying to not let her see how much it bothered me that she brought it up again. All of the sudden I felt a hand on my shoulder squeezing it, though not in a threatening way.91
I heard a voice that wasn’t very perky but sorry she brought up, “I’m glad you’re being honest with me. You know I don’t mean to hurt you Nikkei. I also know how much you need and love your dad and vise versa. You are old enough not to be babied like they do you in class. I’m trying to be a friend, not your enemy.”92
“I know that, Mrs. Carson,” I whispered, “sometimes we just have to face what we don’t really want to believe that might come true.” 93
I feel her hug me and let go as soon as the bell rang.94
After class was over and I had spent the whole period with my overly-perky councilor, I hear Sophie scream in delight. It scared me because she NEVER does such a thing like that. (I mean NEVER…)95
“You’re alive! We thought you were dead!” Sophia squealed out of relief and excitement. 96
“Yeah I am, but barely. Some stupid cheerleading goons and their star dumb-back chased me around a bit.” I sighed.97
Seth chuckles, “yeah they did gloat about something like that. I thought it was another damn rumor, but it turns out it was true.”98
The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. The typical ‘oh my god you’re wearing chains! Take them off!’ or the religious talk (from the bible thumpers) went on for me and my friends. Pretty soon we were back into the senior parking lot and ready to go to our usual hang out spot after school. I wasn’t really ready to drive just yet. Seth, being in the front seat this time, noticed my knuckles turning paler than they usually are.99
“Okay something is really wrong, Nikkei, “Seth looked at me, “do I need to pull out the ‘black man’ card? Because I will if I have to.”100
Pretty soon the Sophie and Alex, both, were making up insane and utterly stupid ideas to get the jocks and cheerleaders back for me. Using Photoshop to put Captain Jockstrap in a fluffy pink dress then paste it all over school, gluing the cheerleader’s pom-poms to their hands, and slashing Jockstrap’s “bubba truck” tires while he was in class to name a few of the ideas they came up with. Good thing my car wasn’t started up then; they started me into a huge laughing fit and I couldn’t stop laughing. Soon the others were laughing and carrying on about anything and everything imaginable.101
Though to end our fun the brainless cheerleader queen yelled (more like squeaked) out to us saying, “SHUT UP YOU STUPID FREAKS, YOU REALLY ARE ANNOYING ME!”102
We laughed at her, in her new 2008 hummer (an H3). Why? Everyone knew that the only way she stayed cheerleader was because she sold herself to the football coach. Yes I mean “that” way too. The rumors went that she gave the captain of the football team head too. Hey why not? You might as well get both. (Yeah in her case she needed the “extra credit” assignments.) We finally get to leave, much to our happy thoughts.103
Seth looks back to Sophie and asked, “How’s life at home? You said last time it wasn’t that great.”104
“The same old shit. They want me to be Christian, but I want to be in Wicca. They still force me to go to that damn catholic church that they think is the best thing since hot topic was found to be ‘guilty’ of some nasty deed.” Sophia shrugged it off, but we all knew it bothered her.105
“It bothers you Sophia, we all know it. So stop pretending.” Alex said, trying not to sound cocky but concerned.106
Either she was on PMS or something bad was about to happen. Sophia snapped at Alex, which is unusual for her, “SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY! YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE LIVING WITH PARENTS LIKE MINE!” 107
I stop the car instantly and glare at them in the back, “GUYS, do you want the preps to rip this group apart? Your letting them get to you again, do you want to become another mundane!? Do you want to become another mainstream brat?”108
No one spoke after that. I dropped them off at their houses and went to my own. The next few weeks’ things changed. Alex, Seth and I only went to our favorite java place. Either Sophia said she had other plans or she had some other things to do. We started to get concerned about her; after all she was our friend back then.109
Alex passed me a note in class one day it said ”I think you were right about the preps. They wanted us to split apart, and they already got Sophia. Who will be next?”110
I read the note and nearly (not really) vomited on the spot. Okay maybe having 3 chocolate cupcakes and a mountain dew wasn’t the brightest idea I had for a snack, but that’s not the point. Alex had actually used his brain for once, and it scared me. No it wasn’t Alex actually using his brain either, though that’s scary too, but the preps trying to get Sophia away from us. She could be used as blackmail; she knew a lot of things about us. Especially me in particular she could completely socially destroy for life. I’m sure they wanted all the dirt on all of us, since they can’t figure anything out on their own. This wasn’t a good omen in my book, and I knew was going to be hard for the rest of my senior year in high school. I just hoped at the time that Sophia knew what they were doing, and I hope she would remain our friend. She’s a girl and we all know that they are some of the most two-faced things “God” ever created.111
You see, Sophia (or we called her Sophie a lot). She was one of the first people that talked to me in my freshman class after coming from Germany in my 9th grade year in high school or middle school, outside of Seth knowing me previously. She was the first person I connected with outside of Seth and Alex. Also the fact that I did have a little crush on her didn’t help either. She made the extra mile to talk to the new kid from another country, and made him feel welcome. That’s what I call a real beginning right there, but then also people change as well. Seth and Alex realize that she holds a special place in my life as well, but it doesn’t bother them that much. I mean we’re like a family, no doubt about it, we sort of support each other where we don’t really have that support at home per say. 112
Basically what our home lives are like is not a good environment for us. Alex lived with his crack head parents, but in reality he stays at my house so much that he has his own room at my dad’s place. He basically lives with me, not his parents. Seth lives with his grandmother, my “adopted” grandmother, because of his mother being too abusive towards him and his “bad choices” of being Goth and his father went missing in action a few years ago. (Seth’s dad or his body was never found.) Sophie has both parents living together still, and her home life is stable. Her parents are Christian like Nazis though, they think that Goth is a bad thing. You already know enough about my home life though so I’m not going to go into that, besides; I would start sounding like that popular bitch in class when she breaks a nail.113
“So what’s the plan now guys?” Seth asked us a few months after the realization of losing our once beloved friend.114
“I don’t know, buddy. I honestly don’t really know.” The others could tell I was exhausted because of my German accent becoming more apparent.115
“I think its hit all of us pretty hard,” Alex looks up unlike his usual annoying self; he’s quiet for once and hasn’t been sleeping well,116
“I think we should be concerned about what they are going to use against us; now they got the blackmail card.”117
“Nikki, you okay? You look like you’re about faint.” Seth looked at me, worried obviously.118
“I honestly don’t know what to think or feel anymore.” I shook my head back and forth mumbling. I felt like I was going to lose something physically either my mind or my lunch. Either way, they knew that I couldn’t help but look like I was upset and was about to cry. (I swear I wasn’t though!)119
The two looked at me then at each other, and Seth put his hand on my shoulder squeezing it a bit. I knew they felt the same way that I did, but they just didn’t show it. That’s probably the difference between American Goths and European Goths (or from my own personal experiences). Americans are used to the whole “turn against your fellow Goth” thing, but as a pure bred German Goth, it was new to me. Yeah I know I’ve been living in America for almost 4 years at the time, but I never had this happen to me before. My old German friends nor any of my American friends to date (before Sophia) had turned against me or any of my other friends. Plus it doesn’t help the fact that I’m already overemotional about things to begin with; I guess that’s an a side effect of being a former cutter.120
“Don’t look now guys but I think the pink force is coming our way.” Alex said overly sarcastically.121
I tried to regain my composure, as Sophie and two other Barbie pink clones were in sight. I finally looked up and to my not so good pleasure I saw the traitor. Sophie went from black to pink, and from purple hair to bleached blonde over night; well it seemed like it at least. The once gothic Lolita princess was now shopping at American eagle and Gap. It was a horror movie for Goths gone badly, and I mean the nightmare kind too.122
“Are you okay Nick? Your skin color went from white to green pretty fast.” Alex looked at me as the threesome of preps approached us.123
I turned my head away from the really (REALLY) ugly sight to behold. I felt sick from the first glimpse of the now prep wannabe Sophia and plus the sight of pink made me want to puke. (I was forced to play dress up and house with my sister; I was going to be the baby girl. Now you know why I never liked my sister to begin with, because she was and still is a girl with cooties).124
“Guys, I think I’m going to be sick… let’s get the fuck out of here.” I said attempting to get the hell out of dodge from the preppie threesome. (Can anyone say Girls gone wild?)125
The two took my words seriously and the three of us went to outside to our usual hangout spot. This time we only had three not four bodies to take up the space, it made me only feel worse about the whole ordeal.126
“Damn Nikkei, you look terrible.” Lexis, one of Alex’s punk friends, came over to see what was going on.127
“Thanks for stating the obvious, Lexis.” I growled a bit.128
She felt sorry for the three of us though. Almost everyone knew what had happened to the freaks foursome, we lost one. Lexis hoped up on the stoop where we were to hang out from then on.129
“European or not, you really are stupid,” Lexis accused as she sat down and pulled me down to basically lay down, my head going in to her lap. “You really do need to lie down.”130
Lexis bullying people in a playful way is her way of showing that she cares and accepts you. You see, unlike the punks in the ones I came into contact with in Germany, they ones in America usually mingle with the Goths. Why? It’s simple really, the two subcultures are cousins and in this country we are few and far in between, therefore we are forced to stick together most of the time. Like Goths, punks do take care of their own usually, even if they are subculture cousins. I don’t mind the two punks being with us, at least its better then just a duo of Goths. Well in my book it is.131
“Do they even give a shit about others?” Lexis rolled here eyes at the preps coming down the path.132
“Nope, they are probably coming to pick on us once again,” Alex looked down at me sort of concerned a bit, “and with a man down. We can’t hold our own. There’s three now but there’s always one or two lurking out somewhere, I’m sure.”133
Lexis was stroking my (in bad need of a dye jo
black hair when the three girls of preppies approached us with not so good intentions. They could see that I wasn’t up for my usual smartass comments and thought they might as well take advantage of the ideal, or so they thought. Wow, they really don’t know how much of a bad mouth Lexis and Alex are together. Someone had dropped some gum on the side walk just before Sophia stepped in with her 200 dollar pair of designer shoes. I’m sure they were probably borrowed from her mother or one of her Barbie friends. The sound she made after she realized she ruined the shoe was even greater than her actually stepping in it.134“OH MY SAVIOR JESUS, WHY DID YOU LET THIS HAPPEN TO ME?! THIS IS SO TOTALLY GROSS!! EW! EW!” she made the noise of a retarded prep, but it was funnier because she had a lisp about it.135
The two punks and the two Goths burst out laughing at her; even I had forgotten my “illness” and started laughing at Sophia. Her friends were not much help either; they were doing the same reaction as she was. If only I had a video recorder at that time; that would’ve been Youtube.com material right there.136
“It sucks to have karma bite you in your ass doesn’t it Sophia?” I glance at her from lexis’s lap.137
“Shut the fuck up Nikkei!” a banshee scream comes from her little frame.138
It didn’t faze me though. I got up and stared directly into her eyes and said, “I’m sorry but only real friends can call me by that name. I think you refer to me as the ‘King of Darkness’ don’t you? Also one more thing, you’re nothing but a poser anyways. You could never really think for yourself. I feel sorry for you, Barbie clone, you have no mind of your own. The media controls it for you.”139
“You know that I know stuff about you that I could spread around school, and you could never come back here and have that same cocky grin again. You would be a laughing stock of the whole school!” she glared and threatened back.140
I simply smirk once again and say, “Oh wow, I’ve heard worse stuff than what actually has happened to me. Plus if you really want to get into this whole rumor war with us, you forget that we know stuff about you too, Sophia. You’re not the only one with blackmail ammo. I’ll leave you to collect your thoughts for a few hundred hours.”141
Lexis, Seth, Alex, and I left the preps standing there in gum and verbally trashed litter box for awhile. It will take them awhile to figure out that I completely ditched them anyways; they aren’t that smart. After that nothing really went down between Sophia and the rest. Lexis had secured her place in the group of the Freaks Foursome, and Sophia’s old spot was taken and no longer available to her (even if she did want to return). Life was simply (almost) perfect, no one bothered us other than the usual jock. That was normal for us though, but we could handle it since we were a group of friends. We weren’t like those superficial brats who think it’s a popularity contest in high school.142
A few months later everything had fallen into a place somewhere and some how. Sophia became leader of the preppies and I had maintained my role of leader of the freaks. All was balanced out and we coexisted with each other for the most part. Though Sophia never really got her “revenge” so to speak, and in prep fashion she waited until I was alone and she was with her posse. Well that was the rumor at that time anyways.143
“Well,” Sophia smirked evilly said slyly, “the King doesn’t have his royal court of goons around him this time? This is a change, what do to with you?”144
Oh shit. Yeah I’m in HUGE trouble now, where’s Alex when you need the smartass! This is the social death she’s been waiting for the longest time. Crap I’m in so much prep-trouble now. I just hope I come out alive. Oh well, I can handle her, she’s just a prep. I hope so at least…145
I shot a look that made her friends cower in fear but not her, “The only ‘goons’ I see around here are the three idiots dressed in a pedophile’s dream outfit for girls. That’s what you get for shopping the girls section, girls. I think you sort of looking like that though don’t you.”146
I made an attempt to go to the boy’s bathroom to take a piss, but more importantly get away from those damn heels! They make me nervous to this day; too many horror stories about girls kicking guys in the nuts with them for my liking thank you.147
A smirk girl’s voice said, “Sorry bat boy, but I don’t think so!”148
CRAP! They out maneuvered me, but there’s three of them and one of me. I don’t like these odds one bit. These Barbie’s are smarter than I thought, then again the leader is Sophia and she knows my tricks. Yeah I’m not going to win this round. To make things worse, I left my anti-prep spray at home today too…149
“Call your friends off now,” I snarled and glared at Sophia, “you know better than to mess with me. You know damn well I will knock them in there with me, I have no problem doing that.”150
She laughed, “Go ahead, I’ll just get you for starting a fight. Besides King of Dorks, you should be begging for your social status right now. I could make you drop into the place where the emos hang out. I know you don’t want that now do you…”151
“Yeah Sophia’s better than you are!” an orange face speaks up, obviously scared shitless of me.152
“I’m sorry but I think sunny d wants their signature color back, Margaret.” I shot back a smartass remark to the girl.153
Wrong thing to say! The next thing I know I’m being chased down the hallways of Crawford High School by (at least) 3 preps. Plus when they are in pounce mode, if I run into a boy’s bathroom, they might come after me and leaving me no place to run until help (unlikely) comes. But it was worth a shot, so I took it.154
I heard three girls scream and some guys scream too. The boy’s bathroom was full of guys, much to my luck, doing various things. (They were doing various things like: Masturbating, pissing, measuring dicks, inspecting nuts, popping pimples, etc.) The three girls, horrified, ran out of there in a hurry. Unfortunate for me, the principal got wind of the whole event, as well as my friends, so I got sent up to the principal’s office once again. It wasn’t even my fault this time!155
“Now please Nicolas,” vice principal Bolts (that is his real last name too) pleaded, “just please tell me what happened and I won’t get your party involved in this. I promise.”156
I groaned, knowing this was going to eat up my art period, “I did nothing to them. They ganged up on me unexpectedly when I was on my way to relieve myself in the boys’ bathroom.”157
The principal and my friends (who unfortunately got called up there too) were speechless. It’s unheard of a prep going after a Goth without a reason. I guess the (not so angelic) little angels of school would never do such a thing. (HA!) The preps in my high school are nothing but lying little whores who are two faced and has nothing better to do with their lives. Don’t tell that to the head of the school though, she might have a heart attack and actually keel over.158
“These girls cornered you?” an eye witness to me running down the hallways (a cheerleader coach) gasped.159
I gave her my best dead looking ‘no duh’ glare, “I don’t go looking for trouble coach. Besides I don’t think there are any signs in the hallway saying whether it’s a Goth way or a prep way.” 160
Bolts sighs and leans back in his chair, “I have to take into account both sides. You guys know very well that the teacher’s word is going to weigh heavier than yours, Nicolas. I’m going against my better judgment and letting you off the hook for the most part, you will have to serve your time talking with your school councilor and Miss. Sophia and friends will spend their time thinking about this out of school suspension. I highly doubt Nikki would ever lie to me about such things, anyways.”161
He’s right about me on that part. I would never lie to him unless I saw fit, for example, if a jock tripped me I’d play it up a bit and say that he twisted my ankle for me. Hey, with the jocks around here they probably would do it just for fun. The point is that the popular kids are never fully happy for very long about something. They already converted my once best female friend to their side; why not try to kill me too? They wanted to give me a social suicide that I’ll never be able to live down for years to come. Well I am their personal punching bag it seems, so it’s only natural. 162
I put on my most (believable) innocent angel face and said, “Mr. Bolts, sir, I would never hurt them.” Then I added “too much” mentally.163
Good old gullible Bolts stared me straight in the eye to see if I was faking it. Thank god for drama club, it paid off like Mr. T said. I wasn’t best actor in my drama club by pure luck, you know.164
“Okay then, I will believe your story this time, Nicolas.” Mr. Bolts dismissed me. As soon as I shut the door to his office, the “evil” Bolts came out and scared everyone in the office area, even me. 165
“Finally I got some damn revenge. I’m also glad that it isn’t me in that office right about now.” I laughed as I left the main office.166
Back at Seth’s grandmother’s house the four of us celebrated. We had pizza (from Pizza Hut) and some mountain dew knock off crap; I took my usual water or sprite. 167
“So I’m assuming Sophia the Traitor got what she had coming to her didn’t she?” Lexis said with pizza in her mouth.168
I laughed at her, “Yep, she did. I didn’t know that I would be the on one giving it to her though. It’s pretty sweet too.”169
Alex snickered, “The bitch had it coming it to her eventually.”170
“SHUT UP ALEXANDER!”171
“That’s Alexander the Great to you Lexis!” Alex puffed out his skinny chest to “prove” his manhood.172
I smirked, “it looks like Alexander the Dork to me.”173
Suddenly someone shouted “DOG PILE!”, and next thing I knew we were a mixture of chains, black, red, plaid, and fishnets. We were sent into laughing fits forgetting about the day’s events as we tried to untangle each other from the dog pile mess. The evening following my fun day with my friends, I was at my mother’s house for the once a week blow out fest. It basically means that she showers me with a bunch of expensive gifts and such. I mean I love the gifts (who wouldn’t) but I’m just sick of her religious babble. Yes, she is my sister’s older clone unfortunately for my dad and me.174
“So please Nikkei, tell me how school is going?” my mom puts on a fake smile as she speaks.175
I simply shrug and stuff my mouth full of bad tasting pasta to keep from answering her question. (Yes I do hate my mom for the record if you all are wondering).176
“Please Nicolas, say something… anything” she pleaded.177
“You want me to say something? Well I said SOMETHING.” My voice dripped with sarcastic as I speak.178
“You almost never come around anymore, honey. I wish we could speak more. I just am concerned about my only son. So didn’t you say that you have a girlfriend?” She sighs defeated.179
“I’m gay, mother.” I said as I put another mouthful of awful food into my mouth. (I’m actually bisexual, but she doesn’t know that).180
“I thought you said that you had a girlfriend,” she sighs, going into therapist mode once again, “why are you so closed off to me?”181
The whole therapy thing was going no where and I already had a nutcase for a therapist at school, I don’t need to be related to one. The interrogation had gone on long enough; it was time to end it.182
“You really want to know why I’m so ‘closed off’ to you, Danielle.” I started.183
She perked up because she knew I was about to blow like so many times before, “yes I really want to know.”184
I took a breath, and let her have it, “you never ONCE encouraged me to excel in anything that you didn’t like. You left me alone too many damn times because my sister had something ‘more important’ to go to. You divorced my father because he was a punk, which is really stupid. You KNEW that he was different when you married him, you KNEW damn it! Now that I’m 18 years of age, you want to start a relationship NOW?! Its too late ‘mother’, you’re just too late this time… so please drop it.”185
She wouldn’t look at me, “so that’s how you really feel about me?”186
I looked her dead in the face, “yep.”187
I left not too long after that. It’s better than she knew than not know about how I felt. She asked me after all, so technically she had it coming to her in a way. My dad wasn’t happy with me, I knew it. He didn’t punish me for what I said either, nor did he deny that what I said was right about my so called mother. Let’s just say I won’t be winning any “Son of the Year” awards any time soon.188
Monday came running around before I could breathe a sigh of relief from the weekend. My dad let me skip school that day and said I could go to Seth’s house. Hey, I needed a “Goth Day” with Seth. It wasn’t common to have time to ourselves since Lexis had been hanging around us. 189
Seth chuckled as he greeted me at his door to his grandmother’s house.190
I rolled my eyes at him as I walked in, “you forgot the ‘word to your mother’ part there Sethie.”191
He nags me about acting black and how I should act my skin color as he closes the door. Though I knew he was joking around, despite Seth being black he was about as white, if not whiter, than I’ll ever act. 192
“Oh Nikkei,” Ms. Mays (Seth’s last name ironically) yes happily bellows and squeezes me to death. (Okay I’m 120lbs roughly and this grandmother is about 200 or so… yeah I’m smashed.) “My lovely adopted grandson, it’s been way too long. You’ve grown so much!”193
Ms. Mays is my god grandmother, my dad’s choice. When my dad was working with the American military and Seth’s father was in the same squad as my dad helping out by translating the best way he could between the two hostile military commanders we met. Seth and I basically grew up together, and I sort of had a bad influence on him I guess. Well it was for the better, he’s a Goth boy not a gang member, so it worked out somehow. 194
I crack a smile at Ms. Mays, “yes it has been ma’am.”195
“That German accent you have never gets old.” She teases as she goes into the kitchen for something.196
Meanwhile Seth is already in his room calling me up the stairs to play our favorite game, Soul Caliber 3. We pick our favorite characters. Seth picks Zasalamel and I pick Nightmare, which is funny because Zasalamel is a black grim reaper and Nightmare is a blonde knight with a bad history. Both of these characters sort of represent us in a way I guess you could say.197
“Its about damn time they put a black man in a game like this,” Seth jokes, “and he’s not the one that’s dying this time either.”198
I snicker a bit, “Yeah but you forget who the king at playing nightmare in this game is.”199
Seth peeks at me with a devious grin whispering, “Are you sure that you’re not staring at his crotch all the time, there Nikkei?”200
“I AM NOT! YOU ARE LYING!” I turned a beat red and screamed at him in embarrassment.201
“Yeah,” Seth smirks evilly, “and I’m sure he’s nothing but a sock-filled underpants wearing anti-hero.”202
We both laugh at the joke; after all it was pretty stupid to be looking at something like that. Okay yeah Nightmare had a good package in the crotch area, but don’t tell Seth I said that. After awhile I had a losing streak, of which I most never do. Seth sucks at playing Soul Caliber 3 or any of them to be honest.203
Seth pause the game, “Okay Nick, what the hell is going on? I know your not letting me win out of pity.”204
I set my controller down looking straight at him. This is what I didn’t want to talk about; the not so lovely events happened too recently for me to fully talk about in detail. Seth could give a shit less, when he wants to know something. You almost HAVE to tell him; otherwise he won’t leave you alone about it. That’s why he’s my best friend, without him I probably would have been dead.205
“I had that lovely social time with my mother again,” I paused and took a breath, “and to make a long story into a short one, I told what I thought about her to her face. It didn’t go over so well with her, but it got it off my chest.”206
“You know that might fuck you over in the long run right?”207
I shot back with a nasty comment saying, “Dude, I don’t give a fuck about that anymore. She had it coming to her, she’s been doing that to my face all of my life. Karma bit her in the ass for that shit. I didn’t plan it to be me, you know. It just happened.”208
I quickly lowered my head and looked away a bit from Seth. It was true; I never really meant to hurt my mom personally. My mom had it coming to her, we all knew that. I just never really planned it to be me to tell her what the fuck she was doing to me. I guess its better that I said it that 18 than later in my life right? I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder; I knew it wasn’t his grandmothers.209
“If I didn’t love you to death, I wouldn’t put up with your tantrums.” Seth joked, squeezing my shoulder.210
Seth, being never one for serious things, takes a pillow and hits me over the head with it. The pillow fight was on, yeah we did pillow fights. I’m sorry, but fighting in a long skirt it’s NOT fun; I’ve had to do it one to many times. The dork beat me in a pillow fight, only because he’s 6’2 and weights about 100 lbs more than I do. Hell a 5’9 feet and 137 lbs white Goth against a person who could pass for being on a football team; guess who is going to win?211
“BOYS,” we heard a screech, “I thought I told you all to not make a mess.”212
“Sorry grandma, we didn’t mean to.” Seth looked pitiful as he could so he wouldn’t get into trouble.213
Ms. Mays (Ellen) laughed at the two of us. Both Goths were covered in white feathers, and Seth looked like a huge dork with his white feathers around him. Oh well, there goes her pillows. Its not that she liked them anyways, she put them down there for people to sit on and to well have pillow fights.214
“Help me clean this up and we’ll go to Olive Inn.” Ms. Mays chuckled as she started to clean up the mess we created.215
After the cleaning spree of Seth’s room, and us cleaning ourselves up. She took us to the best Italian place in town, Olive Inn. This place was a local gem that hadn’t been touched by the tourist that frequented the town at the time. It was also a surprise for people to see two black people with one white kid, even more nuts was a black Goth and a white Goth together. Some people just can’t grasp the idea that not EVERY black person is a “gangsta” (more like an idiot who wears a rip off of TRIPP pants). 216
We were having a nice meal, joking around as we did back then. Also by this time school was out, so yeah we were bound to run into some people from school. Little did we know that it would be Captain Jock was there, and as soon as he saw us he open his mouth. 217
“WELL, LOOKIE HERE! A NIGGA AND A WHITE SATANIC FUCKER! I GUESS SATAN COMES IN COLORS THESE DAYS!” Captain Jock yells out at the top of his overly large lungs.218
You know damn well that no black man or woman can let some stupid fuck do that to them. Unfortunately, Seth wasn’t in a good mood that day, and this “white boy” hadn’t seen Seth pissed off. He has the typical “Angry Black Man” temper PLUS the unknown “I’m going to eat your face since you started this shit” Goth temper. Ms. Mays stayed where she was at; I assumed she’s used to the racist comments. Seth on the other hand, he got out of his chair and walked straight towards the dumb jock. (If he pissed himself at any time in his life, now would be that time). I was right beside Seth; after all he offended me with the “satanic fucker” comment. This Goth hater has something coming at him, and it’s in black! (No pun intended).219
“You think that’s funny white boy! You think just because you’re a motherfuckin’ raw white cracker, you can wave around that word like it’s a good thing? You got thing cumin’ racist bastard.” Seth yelled, getting up in Captain Jock’s face.220
I stood next to Seth, in my typical manner, though this time it was fighting time. I fight differently than American Goths; I smirk and use logic against the Americans. Why, because they are really stupid most of the time. But with Seth around, I don’t have too much of anything just back him up, that’s all I did back then. I’m not saying all Americans are stupid, just the majority I came and still come across.221
“you have no idea how hurtful that word is do you,” I stare straight at him with a dead, soul chilling gaze, “you have no earthly idea what you’ve just done. I’m Seth’s best friend, and I’m a ‘white boy’, as you would put it. I, never once, say that word and I’m like a brother to him. Don’t use that word, Mundane, it’s very childish. Even for your species of human, Jock-strap boy.”222
I’ve never seen that type of speed before, even coming from me, Captain Jock literally bolted out of Olive Inn. Happy with ourselves, Seth and I went back to our place to eat. One person started to clap; okay they thought the Goth kids could use an esteem booster. (It worked for me at least). Suddenly, the whole place was filled with clapping, for us, the two Goth kids. While it was completely unnecessary and unexpected, it was a nice change. (Though the same day they chased us out of their damn flower shops, Oh the irony).223
In the two months following the football team of Crawford High School pretty much avoided us for the most part. I think they were afraid of Seth, he’s just a big softie, was really a gut splitting time for us at lunch time. As most high schools have, at least in America, have the annual Prom. I found it to be nothing but a big joke, as well as my friends did. So we usually did a huge prank and pulled the sheet over the principals’ eyes (one year literally). This leads to this year’s prank.224
“Not a chance in hell! I am not doing another prank that involves me in drag!” I whined at my friends.225
“Nikkei sexy King of the Euro Goths,” lexis coaxed, “we don’t want our senior prom to be a drag. I’m sure you don’t either. It’s practically a Freak Tradition now.”226
I glared at the three of them, “and it usually involves me in drag at some time or place; No way!”227
The three of them begged for me to do the same prank I’ve done over the same three years of my high school career. I’m sorry but it’s not going to happen this year, besides, we’re fucking seniors for the love of music! We’re not lowly freshman!228
As we were bickering about what I was or was not going to do at the senior prom of CHS, a new girl caught my eye. Yes she was cute, but there’s a twist. She’s a Cyber Goth, I knew instantly from her clothes, even though as toned down as they were. She looked lost in the sea of preps, jocks, rednecks, and other normal kids. She saw our table and sat down with us, and next to me. It has to be radar or something for punks and Goths to find each other, even in a sea of thousands of people. What my friends did was hilarious; they just stared at her out of disbelief mainly. I smirked, I knew instantly she was from Europe. Also I’m glad that I’m not the only “Euro Goth” anymore.229
“Its been quite a while since I’ve seen a Cyber Goth such as yourself,” I shrug, “but I’ve been in the states since I was 14.”230
An English accent answered my question, though nervously, “yes, I am a Cyber, but I didn’t know that an American Goth would know such a thing.”231
“The only American born Goth is me,” Seth spoke up, “the Goth your sitting next to is a German Goth.”232
I choked on my drink a bit from the unexpected spot light, “Yeah, I’m from Germany originally.”233
To save my ass from looking like a fool my friends jump into save the dying conversation, and thank god! This girl was cute!234
“I’m Seth. The girl over there is Lexis, and the punk boy over there is Alex,” Seth puts his hand on my shoulder as if I had great importance, “and this lovely single Goth boy right here, is my best friend Nikkei.”235
She giggles a bit, “it nice to meet you all, I’m Willow. I come from the United Kingdom. If want to get into countries, I’m from England.”236
“Oh yeah,” lexis points out, “fair warning, the normal kids will give you a nick name eventually.”237
“Oh,” she looks sort of surprised, “what do they call you?”238
I rolled my eyes at mine nickname, “they call me King of Darkness, and mainly because I’m the supposed leader of these dorks.”239
“I’m known as Alex the Punk!” Alex said, shoving me playfully.240
Lexis gave a little devious giggle, “I’m referred to as Little Killer because I pulled a butter knife on a cheerleader in middle school.”241
“I’m known as Shadow or Black Shadow,” Seth laughs, “I guess I’m the only black Goth they have ever seen.”242
I smirked, “and probably will only see the way that they like to make you mad.”243
The rest of lunch was spent getting to know Willow and her getting to know us. It split in to usual conversations, lexis and Alex talking about what concerts they were going to go see, Seth stuffing his face with food, but this time I was talking with Willow in my native language. I missed talking in German outside of my family, why? Because people don’t know what the hell you’re talking about being one thing and the other is I’m just more naturally comfortable with it, even after not speaking it for so long. The lunch bell rang for us to go back to our classes and I got special treatment since I was showing Willow around. (I guess her official tour guide bailed on her, typical CHS style for new kids). We were nearing Willow’s last class, I heard clacking of heels. There goes the peaceful time between Willow and I.244
“I thought you had a thing for me, Goth boy.” A voice taunts.245
I roll my eyes at the voice, “you must be mistaken, Sophia. I think that your ego is just too damn big for this earth, please do us a favor and explode it for us.”246
As I turned to walk away from the traitor I once called a friend, I found out that her ugly heel had connected (somehow) to my “manhood”. I instantly fell to my knees in pain. Willow, being a typical girl, rushed to my side. Before I knew it I was vomiting because of the pain, and willow was holding my hair attempting to keep it from getting messed up. Everyone saw me looking like a weakling. Sophia had gotten what she wished, to see to my social suicide personally.247
“I thought what the captain of the football team was bad,” a voice from the jocks spoke up, “this just goes beyond cruel, and it’s just sickening!”248
The jock that spoke up was Captain Jock’s best friend and right hand man, Sharpie. This guy rarely spoke, but when he did, people listened. What he said was right though, it’s not morally right to take a cheap shot at a guy like Sophia did in any country or society. Hell, even fellow Goths and Punks who hate each other never does such a thing.249
“Sophia,” Sharpie bellows to her, “you know better than that! Even if he is a Goth, no one deserves that! Not even him!”250
This certainly was the end of my life I’m sure, at least it felt like it. I was too ashamed to pick up my head to look at anyone, and in too much pain to get up at that moment too. Throwing up in front of the whole school was a huge social “no” in my school, especially if you were a senior in high school. It was something that you almost never did, unless you had an eating disorder or something. The principal and the vice principal just happen to see what went on, and here I am again in the office of the head principal, Old Fart Maddox. Thank the gods they let me clean myself up after my humiliating moment in the hall, but they made me put ice on my nuts. (Yeah I think it was to embarrass me more, though the pain did get numb after a bit.)251
Mrs. Maddox leaned forward in her chair, making the older than dirt leather creak as she moved. She looked over the papers of what the witnesses had said. Poor Willow was sitting at my side like a faithful girlfriend, but she wasn’t…yet. We heard Maddox clear her throat while I prepared for the worst case sentence for me. This woman had it out to get me from freshman year, and here I am in her office my senior year. Yep. I’m a goner.252
“So tell me Nicolas,” Mrs. Maddox began, “you had nothing to do with Sophia kicking you in the ‘personal area’. You had nothing to do with it what so ever?”253
I shrugged a bit, trying to hide my uncomfortable state, “Other than a few insults between us, like usual peers do. Unless she has some sort of secret hate for me that I don’t know about. I didn’t do anything to the girl. No Ma’am, I know nothing that I could’ve done to piss her off.”254
“Mrs. Maddox, he did do something! He called me a traitor!” Sophia countered.255
I looked at Sophia, rolling my eyes, and retorted, “Well you technically did betray me. You ditched Seth, Alex, and I for those so called new friends of yours. If I remember right, in the English language that’s a traitor.”256
Willow nodded in agreement with me; after all she was from freaking England of all places. I mean that’s the birth of the English language right there. Mrs. Maddox, as the rumor goes, used to be a huge English teacher back in her younger days, so she should know.257
“AHEM,” Mrs. Maddox calls our attention back to her, “Sophia I have heard rumors from random students that you have done that to Nicolas here. So technically he is right, you did betray him from what the rumors said are apparently true. I’m guessing that the students didn’t like about this one, going by your and his reaction to one another.”258
I sighed, this was going to take forever I’m sure. I looked back up at the clock; yep there goes my English class and my Art class. I’m not going to get any work done today. No thanks to Miss. Bitch, I mean Sophia.259
“Don’t even try to snow me over young lady; I saw what you did to him. Even though he might have deserved to be punched in some form or fashion, he did not deserve the kick to his groin. You’re lucky that he didn’t require medical attention for what you did!” Mrs. Maddox scolded Sophia.260
Willow and I were dismissed for the day, and we could go home. (We went to the mall instead that day.) Sophia had the SRO called to her and took her to his office to fill out some ‘paperwork’, and rumor has it that Sophia got sent to all a girls’ correctional school for the violent and tormented. (I think they sent to her a catholic school). So everything was all good at Crawford High School. Things were looking up for the Class of 2008 freaks, and it was about damn time!261
Prom was coming up for the 2008 seniors of Crawford High, and things had returned to normal. The jocks still picked on the freaks, but they weren’t shoving us around anymore, just verbal comments now. I was going to one of these most preppy places in my small town, the prom, but I was going with the sexiest Cyber Goth in the world, Willow. Willow had by now was made my girlfriend and deemed (by the preps) Queen of Darkness. So it worked out, but it was in good fun these days.262
“HEY LOOK IT’S THE KING AND QUEEN OF DARKNESS!” Captain Jock bellowed, trying to make fun of us.263
“Nice to see you too, Thong Boy.” I countered and yelled it loud enough for him to hear.264
Willow, to make sure he got the point, grabbed my ass surprising me and him at the same time.265
“Hands off,” she warned, “Nikkei’s is my property. No gay jocks can touch him or his ass.”266
My friends got the joke and laughed at it, as did Willow and me. Poor stupid Captain Jock and his dumb friends didn’t get the joke and thought that she was serious about me being hers. I really don’t want to know what was going through their stupid, perverted minds at that time and I still probably don’t want to know. We minded our own business and my group of five friends continued on our merry way to our classes and hung out.267
About a week later the prom was here for us seniors, I drove to pick up my girlfriend Willow at her house. I was supposed to meet her parents, and that scared the shit out of me. After I ran t he door bell, the door instantly burst open with two pairs of eyes staring at me. Oh boy, it’s my ex girlfriend all over again. I was dressed in a Victorian style formal wear for males. I had the whole aristocrat look going, though I didn’t do it intentionally. My now waist length hair was pulled back in a pony tail held by a red ribbon. Hey I though I looked pretty awesome for a high school Goth kid. Her parents stared at me, I’m supposing in awe or something. They let me in and Willow’s father instantly started the whole interrogation bit, and yes I do hate that sort of thing.268
“You’re that German Goth boy that my dear Willow will not shut up about, correct young man?” Willow’s father said as he made circles around me, I’m assuming to inspect me or something.269
Through my eyeliner I looked at him directly into the eyes, “yes sir, I am him.”270
My nerves let out my thick German accent that I’ve kept in the four years of me living in America, and yes I still had trouble pronouncing words. I heard a laugh from her father, I tried not to wince preparing for the whole anti-German crap.271
“You do know that Willow’s grandfather served in the Second World War don’t you?” he continued on obviously enjoying making me feel uncomfortable.272
“Nien.” I stammered, forgetting m English.273
Her father laughs at me a bit, putting his hand on my shoulder. I’m guessing he knew that I wouldn’t dare intently hurt his baby girl. Hell, she’s my girlfriend, why would I hurt something I love? Just as I was beginning to relax, Willow’s mother comes in. I swear it’s a women’s intuition or something, because I could have sworn she sensed my discomfort with her around. Of course she pops the question I always dread about answering.274
“So Nikolas,” Willow’s mothers ask me, “Willow’s father and I have heard a lot about you, but not too much about your family. Do you know why that is?”275
I sighed, preparing for the story, “I’ll say this once and only once, so please don’t ask me to repeat it. My parents are divorced, and I live my father. My father is a punk from the German punk movement, and my mom’s an uptight therapist. They basically had different parenting styles, and so they split to save my sister and me the hassle of growing up with further fighting. My older sister went to live with my mom and I went to live with my dad. End of my life story.”276
Just as I had finished summing up the past 18 years of my life in five minutes, Willow walks down in her not so usual Cyber Goth style. My mouth fell open when I saw her using the traditional black and red gothic colors. Willow’s corset was a black latex color, with red stitching; her skirt was a blood red, matching my vest, with black stitching. I never knew a Goth such as her could look so damn good in black and red, well life is fully of surprises.277
“That was the reaction I was wanting, Love.” She says as she sits down in my lap putting her arms around my neck.278
I heard the clicking of digital cameras coming from her parents. I buried my face into her hair trying to hide my embarrassment, though I heard Willow laugh. She knew that I wasn’t used to being the center of parental attention, in a good light.279
“Welcome to having a real family, Nikkei. My parents document everything I do, so get used to pictures.” She smirks as she kisses me, and another flash goes off.280
Once we were ready to go and after thousands of pictures from Willow’s parents. We went over to Seth’s house to wait for our limo. Seth was going with a female rapper girl (black) both were dressed in white and red, though Seth in his usual self was wearing a black suit and a white vest. I laughed a bit; he’s going to be difficult about everything it seems. Lexis and Alex walked through the front door and in their usual Punk style, they were dressed. Actually, they looked good in formal punk attire. Then there was the two Goths, Willow and I, living up to our “names” at school. We really did look like the Queen and King of Darkness, but in a good way. Once the limo finally got to Seth’s house, we loaded up and headed to prom.281
Prom night was everything I expected and more. We did end up playing a prank like all of the other years, but well, let’s just say that Captain Jock got his pay back. (We placed a spider from our old sophomore science class in his crown. Nope we didn’t get caught either). The typical, and expected, Miss and Mr. Popular were crowned. That’s nothing new, but the head cheerleader did get pregnant from the prom night, at least that’s what the rumors say.282
After that memorable prom night, what else to do? We graduated of course. I graduated in the top ten of my class, and got that art scholarship I was wanting. Willow and I are still together, and we’ve been going out for a full year now. Seth got a job working for a rap station in his hometown, and he still is sporting the Goth look. (Yes we are still best friends). Alex is working at a Punk Rock station in New York City, along with Lexis. They are expecting their first child, and yes they are (surprisingly) married for six months now. Willow is going to college (same college as I am) for an Art law degree. I’m going to college major in Art. I have plans to make it big as a Gothic Artist.283
What ever happened to good old Sophie? The last I heard was that she was in downtown in our old town selling her body for money. Wow, I know. She used to be “on top” of everything, now she’s being the one fucked over. Yes sometimes literally and figuratively. Well, the gods are getting her back for messing with me now, but that’s karma for you.284
Over all my graduation year was a good year, I lost some friends and gained some friends. Hell, I even gained the love of my life. I rediscovered things about myself and about my friends. No matter how far I go in the world, I can always rely on my friends. That’s the most important thing I learned in high school. The Freaks of 2008, well we’re doing just fine now. Our popular counterparts, I think they are getting a little chunky now. The most important thing is that I never lost who I was in the least, in fact I grew stronger. The one thing I’ll never repeat though is high school, not for all the money in the world!285
Just remember us as “CHS senior class of Freaks of 2008”.286
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