The midnight sky dark but shines.
The midnight srreets only one thing may shine.
The only thing that may shine is the stars,
That start the light of the night.
The moon shines so high in the sky.
The sun comes up so sunny and bright.
The sky so clear as a mirror.
The cloud is as soft as a smile.1
Once the night comes back everything is black.
A person comes out and says dark out.
All people say lights out.
The dark stays till dusk and dawn.
The dark goes on and on.2
The sun comes out and ends the night.
The sun so sunny and fun.
The midnight sky dark but shines.
This is my first poem on SW
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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wow the midnight shy lol it was
cccooooolllll haha i dont like
the sun jk i do but i like night
better oooo lol. -
I like it alot!
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kewl i lyk it dez and it tlkz bout me 2 lolz anywayz awsum
good job keep on writing poems otay!
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cool
It is good but at times I did get alittle losst good diolog thoughbeginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 3.
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cool
Yes I like the poem but not my style that I prefer I prefer more dark so but dialog is beutiful so you keep doing what your doing
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 5.
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This is a pretty good poem. I liked a lot of the descriptions you used here. The line 'the sun comes out and ends the night' was a good way to express the night going to day.
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I'm going to be completely honest with you; it seems as though you had to force your words out and it appears on the screen. I'm not quite sure if I understand the theme of it either. Your imagery was beautiful, but it means nothing if you can't set something behind it. It isn't a horrible poem, but I'm sure that it's not your best work. I'm sorry if this is not the type of comment you had been hoping for, but I at least wanted to tell you my honest opinion about it. I wish you the very best. =]
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It's nicely written, though I see no point to it. Also, in the second line you misspelled "streets". As has been previously stated, AllPoety.com is a better place for poetry (disregarding the fact that I have 3 or 4 poems on StoryWrite). Don't worry about switching sites, AllPoetry is owned by the same person that owns StoryWrite and since you have an account here, you already have an account there. Just sign with the same username and password.
It's a good first write. But the poem itself is confusing. A few parts seem to contradict themselves. But I do tend to read more into poems than people tend to like.
Nonetheless, a good beginning on the site. Good work and keep writing. -
this is quite good. but i do second what fallingforever said. allpoetry.com is a great place for poets.
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If you're interested in poetry you might want to look into joining this sites sister site (well, the two are owned by the same people I think) allpoetry.com. Just to let you know that that's out there if you didn't know already
-gibson -
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Thank you but I also like to write stories.
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cool!
wow! this poem is really good! i liked it alot and it looks like i have some competition in our family (no i am just kidding). but anyways i liked it alot. what did you do stare at the sky all day. too bad robert cant write poetry as good as you and me. -laughs-
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