The night is young1
The stars are many2
Shadow covers my song3
While the moon is singing it's own4
Thoughts moves through my mind5
what will i find?6
The truth about mother earth7
Destroyed by our own8
Or being saved by the caring ones9
The path has grown10
The way is covered of clones11
Why are you all trying to act the same?12
Who is there to blame?13
The path aint being walked by our own14
So i hope you feel the shame15
My mind has grown16
And wants to become it's own17
The sun is rising18
Will that stop my mind from crashing?19
Author notes
I dont know why i wrote this. i just decided to write something for this contest and wrote what first poped up in my mind.
A contest entry
- Good Poetry: ENTER HERE by Midnightmare.
275 points, ended April 13, 2008, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 1,000 Points for poetry!!! by Forgotten Anomaly.
1000 points, ended March 26, 2008, 58 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
This was just something i had to write. do u think i should continue it?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I really like this part of the poem:
"Thoughts moves through my mind
what will i find?
The truth about mother earth
Destroyed by our own
Or being saved by the caring ones"
You really describe how earth is or seems to be now, and I agree. It is being destroyed slowly by its own, sadly, and few are doing something to stop it. Great job!
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Yep!
I have had thoughts similar to these, you created good imagery and so I liked it.. Keep it up!
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I LIKED IT thats all i'll say i liked it
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great
great poem. very clever, great menaing too. only one typo in lyn
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This had good relavent meaning. Try using some grammer, commas, periads, and so on. Also you need to capitalize your Is. The poem was very fluid, and was great to read.
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Once again i thank the kind people that corrects my faults..
i appreciate that ..you are helping me to improve my english great
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Yes, eventually, human kinds will destroy our selves; if we dont all smarten up. And to be saved by caring ones; Something every person hopes for.
Good poem David
I enjoyed reading this. It made me think.
Keep writing
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AWESOME!! I truly like this. It's beautiful in a sad sort of way.
Continue being this good and I'll keep reading ^^
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yes! please continue it! its really good!
Thanks for entering... i really like this. there were a couple of punctuation errors but that's okay... nothing to worry about, I understand English isn't your native tongue.
Thanks so much for entering, this was great. -
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thanks i really like to be corrected ^^ it aint many that corrects my faults that much.. and i need that sort of correction to improve my english more thx
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