cemetery gates(chapter two)

Alex drove deep into the woods, the trees getting thicker and thicker. There was not a sound in the night air but the hum of his engine and the crunch of his tires. He came apon a stone wall,and stopped. He looked around,and honked twice,the wall opening as he drove into the compound.1

It was called the cemetary,after all the people thought to be dead presiding there. Alex drove passed buildings that looked like army barracks,until he reached his own. he pulled up in front of it,and stepped out of his truck. He slowly walked to his door,expecting someone to stop him to give him a report, but no one did. He stepped into the darkness, and flipped on the light.2

His room was crowded, the walls covered with posters of band long since disbanded, many of wich dead. He had a large cabnet, native american artifacts littering the glass shelves. In the corner sat a desk packed with papers and an old office lamp. His bed was covered with a red quilt, the floor concrete. He walked to his bed, and pulled out a shoebox from under it, placing the box on his bed as he sat down. He opened it, and pulled out a pouch of tobaco, pulling a peace pipe with an tomahawk head on the end out from under his pillow. He filled the bowl, and pulled a lighter from his pocket. He light the pipe, and took a lond drag from it,walking to his desk as he did so.3

On his desk he found a manilla folder on his desk marked urgent. He sat down, and opened it, the pipe in one hand. He dropped it when he saw the contents.

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  • Elegant Inspirer
    September 27

    Edit | Reply
    '...many of wich dead.' Change wich to which. Thats it for editing. I like where this is going. I like it thus far. Your chapters are a might bit short though... maybe you should add more to them. Discribe the camp a bit more.

  • This was okay,

    but I really felt like there needed to be more to it. You should allow a space after commas and two spaces after a period. That would make it easier to read. There were also a few typos. The description is good. You left us with a good cliffhanger.

    I hope you are enjoying Storywrite.

    Andy