I want it
It is ghastly becoming unbearable.
Thinking and wanting and needing
Feeding on everything I have.
I was you and it was me and it is damn well bloody over.
Expect me to move on.
I am trying.
I bet you can still hear those words in your head.
That's all I ever did was try.
I only wanted you to be happy.
I can't stop thinking.
I see an open window and I want to jump.
I want it.
Like part of me wants you.
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this piece of art represents how mush you care for this one person. its a strong desire to want this one thingyy. "damn well bloody all over" I'm not sure where that came from or what it ment.. But it sounded pretty deep.
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You are phenomenal with words, my dear. Fantastic, really. I love this.
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♣ blake
I can't stop thinking.
I see an open window and I want to jump.
I want it.
Like as said before...
DESPERATION...FEEDING...NEEDING...
all these emotions buried deep within yourself.
Not sure the picture matches..am a bit iffy about that.
But regardless this peice is a keeper.
Simple ...
I can't stop thinking.
I see an open window and I want to jump.
I want it.
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Shows desperation well
The love that you have shown in this poem also shows the desperation behind it. Love can do two ways... good or bad, and it's up to the person to decide where to cut the strings. Excellent, short piece.
DarkOne -
Very intresting peom very well written and very well done in it's shortness.
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Still on this are we..Hun you know you need to move on.
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amazingly good emotion. you have such a talent for writing. you should definitly keep writing poetry.
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Torn up
good emotions within a well structured piece. No overkill by simply adding lines to fill spaces. It said what it needed and ended.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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This was a very emotive poem. I have felt like this mysef before and I think that there are an aweful lot of other people who have as well. I think that a lot of people will be able to identify with the sentiment of this poem. It was well written and as usual your choice of words fit beautifully with what you were trying to say. Good work hun.
X Amber X -
Love poems are always the best
Very deep. The ending kept me wondering. What happened? Will she live her life wanting him forever? Or will she finally give in to the temptation of the open window? -
Nice job, the wording was wonderful. It was some what deep, it made me think.
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