The Better Half

The morning sun streamed through the bedroom window, falling on the place next to Kerk where Marli used to lay. Before Marli moved in, Kerk had been the kind of person who sprawled out in his sleep. He had suggested they buy a queen or even a king-sized bed, but Marli liked the closeness of his old double bed. It had taken him a while, but Kerk had learned to share the bed without hitting Marli with a flopping arm or leg. Now she was gone, but he still left her spot open.1

Kerk swung his feet around and sat on the edge of the bed. He knew he ought to go to work today. Kerk was an artist, not a bad artist, but not good enough to earn his living from it. So when his money or his inspiration ran low, he would work a few days for his buddy, Ernie. Ernie owned a yard service business. He understood Kerk's artistic ambitions and let him choose which days he showed up for work.2

The funeral had been a week ago, but Kerk had neither painted nor worked for Ernie since Marli died. He was not ready to paint again, maybe he never would be. But it would do him good to get outside, to work with the plants. Or maybe he should give up this foolishness about being an artist and get a real job. His love had died. It might be time he let his dreams die, too.3

He was leaning against the counter, eating a bowl of cereal, when Kerk heard the music. Or maybe, he was just remembering it. It was mandolin music coming from up on the roof. Marli had loved to get up early, go up to the roof and watch the sunrise. After that, she would often sit up there, playing her mandolin or another one of the half a dozen instruments she had mastered. Kerk had liked the mandolin best of all.4

The music seemed to be more than a memory, but somehow less than a real sound. Kerk set his bowl down and went up the fire escape to the roof to find out what was happening. He knew she was not really there, but he could still see Marli in her favorite spot, sitting with her back against the chimney. She had on a peasant blouse and a long skirt, the kind she liked so much.5

Kerk walked closer, expecting her to disappear any moment. When he got close, she looked up from her mandolin and smiled at him.6

"Good morning, Kerk. You missed the sunrise again, sleepyhead."7

He was not certain what he should do. This was an illusion, he knew that. But even if it was an illusion, Kerk felt that Marli was really with him.8

"Marli, you're dead."9

Kerk realized how dumb that sounded as soon as he said it, but he had never expected anything like this to happen. Marli just chuckled gently.10

"I know that, silly."11

"But, then how can you be here? Are you real or am I going crazy?"12

"I'm not really sure how I got here. I could feel you missing me, wanting me, and somehow I came to you. I seem real enough to me, so if I'm not real, we're both crazy."13

Kerk sat down beside her so he was looking at her eye level.14

"Are you just here to tell me goodbye? To tell me to get on with my life and stop moping around."15

Marli chuckled again, then leaned closer to him.16

"Don't you want me to stay? You haven't found another girl already, have you?"17

"No, there isn't anyone else and of course I want you to stay. I just didn't know if you could."18

"Nobody's told me I can't. Nobody's told me anything. I haven't seen anybody since I died, except you. I don't even know how long I've been dead."19

"Twelve days. Twelve horrible days."20

"I'm sorry. It must've been awful for you. And my mom and dad and Mikey. How are they taking it?"21

"I think they're still pretty numb. It was a complete shock. And the news people haven't helped either."22

"So that's how I got my fifteen minutes of fame."23

"How can you joke about it like that, Marli?"24

"I'm not going to change what happened by being gloomy or depressed, sweety."25

"No, but you seem to be accepting it a lot better than I am. And you've been on the news for a lot more than fifteen minutes."26

Marli leaned back and chuckled.27

"Yeah, I suppose so. But then I'm probably the only woman who actually was sawed in half by a magician. What about Howard?"28

"He's in jail now. I hope they fry him."29

"Don't be nasty, Kerk. I'm pretty sure they don't electrocute people anymore. They just give them an injection. Besides, they only execute them for really terrible things like hate crimes and serial killings."30

"You don't think what Howard Dunn did to you is terrible?"31

"Sure it was, but don't let it make you bitter or hateful. If you let what Howard did do that to you, it'll be worse than what happened to me."32

"He sawed you in half! On stage, in front of a couple hundred people."33

"He's a showman. He always did everything flashy."34

"You can't be defending him."35

"No! But, he isn't completely evil. He was jealous of us, Kerk. I didn't realize it until that night, but he had a big crush on me. You know what he said before he cut me in two? 'If I can't have you all for myself, we'll have to share you.' That's almost sweet, in twisted sort of way."36

"You aren't attracted to him, are you, Marli?"37

"Howard? No way! We worked together for years and we'd kid around sometimes, but I never thought of him as anything more than a friend. I guess I was more to him than that. I wonder which half of me he wanted to keep."38

"That's morbid!"39

"I'm a ghost, Kerk. I think I've got a right to be a little morbid."40

"Well, even if you're a ghost, I can't describe how happy I am to be with you again."41

Marli stood up and smiled.42

"You don't have to describe it, Kerk, because I feel just as happy. But you don't want to spend all day just sitting up here, do you? What were you planning to do today?"43

Kerk got up and started walking to the fire escape.44

"I was thinking about working for Ernie, but I've changed my mind. I'm going to paint."45

Marli followed Kerk.46

"And what're you going to paint?"47

"A ghost. I want to see if I can capture the way I can both see you and yet see you're not physically here."48

Kerk held Marli's arm to help her onto the fire escape. He knew what he touched was an illusion, just like the sight and sound of her were, but he did not care. Her body might be gone, but he had no doubt her spirit was here and that, he decided, was the better half.49