Jamie, Trish and Kevin were in Aunt Sara’s hospital room with Uncle Travis as he held his wife’s hand. The room’s white emotionless walls and the TV hung on the wall across from Aunt Sara. Next to the bed was a dark brown nightstand with a green telephone. By the bathroom was a closet that matched the nightstand.1
Aunt Sara lay in her bed covered up in a white blanket. The IV was in her left arm as the machine was next to her bed. The oxygen mask laid over her dried out lips and nose. Aunt Sara tried to breathe by taking in short grasps of air. Her fragile body and pale skin made her looked like a ghost from her formal self. 2
Aunt Sara gradually raised her bed up to look at the kids. Uncle Travis moved the mask with his strong hands. The sunlight hit his red hair as silver strands shined in the light. His wrinkled clothes had proved that he sat in that chair all night. 3
“Trish, could you pour me some water?” Sara asked grasping for air.4
“Sure, Momma.” Trish grabbed the green pitcher and a clear plastic cup to pour the water. “Here you go, Momma.” Trish handed her the cup.5
“You all know that we have a ranch to run.” Sara took a sip from the cup. “I have been talking to my husband and we agree that you kids should return to the ranch.” She placed the mask on her mouth.6
“But, Momma.”7
“No buts, kids, “Uncle Travis said. “We have the ranch to look after and that is our income. Plus, Christy needs to be in school.”8
“Aunt Sara we want to be here with you,” Kevin said.9
Aunt Sara removed the mask. “I know that you do.” She paused trying to catch her breath. “But I can’t worry about the ranch and fighting this thing.” She took a sip from the cup.10
Jamie sat down on the window’s edge to listen. Trish grabbed her mother’s hand.11
Trish had tears running down her red cheeks. “I want to be here with you. I can’t lose you!” 12
Sara touched her daughter’s face. “What about the ranch hands and the horses? We have a lot of promises to keep.” She put the mask back on.13
“We have the best hands anywhere!” Kevin said.14
Uncle Travis let go of his wife’s hand and walked over to Kevin. “Your right, we do; but they need your input. We need someone there to be our eyes and ears, Kevin.” He placed his hand on his shoulder.15
Aunt Sara removed the mask. “Jamie, what do you say?” 16
Jamie grabbed her left arm as it began to throb. “We are all right.”17
“So true,” Uncle Travis said.18
“What about your work with the Foundation?” Aunt Sara asked.19
“I’m going to need more time.” Jamie let out a huge sigh. “How is the treatment going?”20
Everyone became silent in the room.21
“The treatment is working, but I am going to have to stay here longer,” Aunt Sara said as she placed the mask on her mouth.22
“Kids, why don’t you go get some breakfast from across the street? I bet Christy is starving.” Uncle Travis pulled out his wallet jeans’ pocket. “Then you can talk about what we have said.”23
“Before I can help with the ranch, I’ve to finish up my project first.” Jamie said.24
“Auntie and I understand.” Uncle Travis handed her the money.25
“I’m still the oldest, huh?” Jamie took the money.26
Sara took off the mask. “Yes, now…”27
Jamie walked over to her aunt. “I know, take care of the gang first. I’ve been hearing that all my life.” She kissed her aunt on the forehead.28
“If you let me finish, and get some rest too.”29
The rest of the family began to laugh and Jamie winked at her aunt.30
“Momma, I’ll be back soon.”31
Jamie, Trish, and Kevin walked back to the waiting room.32
“Do we have enough for Michael?” Trish asked.33
“If we don’t I have some money too,” Kevin chimed in. He grabbed Jamie’s arm and she turned around at him. “Is Michael your boyfriend?” He whispered.34
Jamie rolled her eyes at him. “No.”35
“You like him those, I can see it in your eyes,” Trish giggled.36
“Whatever.” Jamie walked away from them.37
They returned to the waiting room as Michael and Christy were playing their game.38
Michael looked at them. “That was a quick talk?”39
Trish stepped in front of Jamie. “We would like you to come to breakfast with us, our treat of course,” she said.40
Christy stood up. “I am starving!” She gathered up all the cards.41
“I’m with Christy on that one.” Michael smiled at them. “Where are we going?”42
“Across the street to that fast food place,” Jamie said.43
~44
Jamie kept her eye on Christy while she played the video game. They had all ate very quickly. Sharp pains raced up Jamie’s arms as she leaned back in the booth. Trish had left to make some phone calls and Kevin had gone to get another refill on his drink. Michael walked to the booth where Jamie sat as he put his hand on her forehead.45
“You have a fever.”46
Jamie looked into his eyes. “I know.” She moved away from him.47
He stroked her hair. “I don’t bite.”48
She turned her head away from him. “I know.”49
“Why do you do this to me?” He let out a sigh as he put her arm around her.50
Michael’s fingers rubbed the back of her neck; she started too slid closer to him. He hummed softly into her ears. Jamie laid her head on his chest as she closed her eyes.51
Kevin walked back to them with his drink. “Well, you have put my sister to sleep.” He laughed.52
Michael looked down at her. “We both had a rough morning.”53
“I’ve joined that club with my shoulder.” Kevin took a sip from his drink. “Are you two dating?”54
“I all ready answered that question this morning.” Jamie opened her eyes to stare at her brother.55
Michael gave a smile. “We are not dating.”56
Kevin put his cup on the table. “That will change.” He smiled at them.57
Trish walked back to the booth as Kevin slid over for her. She picked up Kevin’s drink to take a sip.58
“I can tell that you guys are a family,” Michael said as he stroke Jamie’s neck.59
Trish smiled as she gave back her cousin’s drink. “What happened to we are not dating?” She turned her head at Kevin.60
“How is your aunt doing?” Michael asked.61
Trish looked down to the table. “It is touch and go. My Momma is a fighter.”62
Kevin grabbed her hand. “She is, Trish.”63
“I can’t leave my parents to return to the ranch.” She wiped her tears from her face.64
Jamie lifted up her head to sit up straight as Michael kept his arm around her. She grabbed her left arm again as the sharp pains raced into her chest. The shock waves touched his arm.65
Kevin glanced at Jamie. “Are you all right?”66
“I am fine, just really tired.” She let go of her arm and grabbed her cup to take a sip.67
Kevin began to play with the paper from his breakfast sandwich. “I’ll go back to the ranch and run things. Christy needs to return to school.”68
“Maybe, I should leave while you discuss this.” He started to pull away from Jamie.69
Jamie’s eyes widen as Trish noticed her facial expression. “Michael, please stay. We don’t mind,” Trish said.70
Michael turned to look at Jamie. “All right, then.” He put his arm around her again.71
Jamie settled back down in her seat besides Michael. “Kev, are you sure? I don’t know how long that my project will take.”72
“Sis, I can handle it as your project is catching that woman who tried kidnapping Christy and stabbed me.”73
“All right, I’m sure that Rosa can help you with Christy until I return.” Jamie picked up her cup again.74
“I’ll stay with Momma…”75
Christy slammed her hand down the table. “No! I want to stay with auntie!”76
Trish’s face turned a deep red. “She is my mother!” she snapped at her.77
Christy turned pale white as tears began to form in her eyes as she turned around and ran outside. Trish grasp in horror as her hand covered her mouth.78
“Michael, I need you to move.” Jamie removed his arm and then he slide out of the booth. 79
She began to slid out Kevin grabbed her hand. “Do you need my help?”80
Jamie shook her head no. “Stay with Trish.” She reached the end of the booth as Michael helped her out.81
“I’m coming with you,” Michael said.82
Michael and Jamie raced to the doors and stepped outside into the bright sun. Jamie looked around for Christy. Underneath the tree was her sister. Jamie walked over to her and Michael followed.83
He tapped her on the shoulder. “Can you handle this one?”84
“I can; just stay close?” She looked at him.85
Jamie sat down next to Christy. Her sister turned to look at her. Jamie wiped away Christy’s tears from her face. “Ladybug, it is all right.”86
Christy pulled out the grass from the ground. “No! Trish snapped at me.”87
“You were the first person to snap.”88
“I’m tire to be the last one to know anything at all!” She threw down the grass. “It is not fair!”89
Jamie removed the hair out of her face. “Life is not fair.” She let out a sigh.90
“You and Kevin got to know our parents.” She paused “I don’t even remember them.”91
Jamie pulled her sister closer to her. “Hearing stories about them isn’t enough at times. There been many times I wished they were still here.”92
Christy lifted up her head. “You have?”93
She grabbed her hand. “Like today and last night. I missed them very much.” She paused. “Ladybug, I look at you or Kevin and even Trish, I still see them.”94
Christy looked up to see Trish standing outside. “I need to go and talk to Trish by myself, sis.”95
Jamie shook her head. Christy got up and walked over to Trish. Michael walked over to Jamie and offered his hand to help her.96
He pulled her to her feet. “Jamie, I was wrong. You’re not an iceberg because your heart is filled with love.”97
Her tears ran down her cheeks. “You are making me cry.” 98
Michael wiped away her tears as he leaned down to kiss her. Jamie backed away from him. He stroke her hair again as she touched his hand.99
“When are you going to let me in?” he asked as he grabbed her hand.100
“You may not like what you see.” She turned away from him.101
“We all have deep dark secrets that we carried and it is a part of this job that we do.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and brought her back to him.102
She let out a sigh and grabbed his hand. “That still makes me very scared.” She leaned back into his arms.103
Author notes
base on the tv show Knight Rider
In a list
If you find any nits in this chapter, please give me examples so I can understand what you are trying to tell me, Thank you
Comments
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This is a time for family troubles and responsibilities
Enjoyed the quiet caring feeling of this chapter. You make your characters move, react and emotionally respond to the circumstances surrounding them.
This is a time for family troubles and responsibilities; making your characters seem very real and allowing your readers to empathize with them.
Creating the jealous conflict between the two young girls worked well.
Geri
Some things to look at:
The room’s white emotionless walls and the TV hung on the wall across from Aunt Sara. (Not clear --The white emotionless walls of the room were reflected in the dark screen of the TV that hung on the wall across from Aunt Sara or In the white emotionless room the TV hung on a wall across from Aunt Sara.)
The IV was in her left arm as (and) the machine was next to her bed.
“Trish, could you pour me some water?” Sara asked grasping (gasping) for air.4
“Sure, Momma.” Trish grabbed the green pitcher and a clear plastic cup to pour the water (in).
Uncle Travis pulled out his wallet (from his) jeans’ pocket.
He grabbed Jamie’s arm and she turned around at (to) him. “Is Michael your boyfriend?” He (he) whispered.34
“You like him those (though), I can see it in your eyes, (.)” Trish giggled.36
“Why do you do this to me?” He let out a sigh as he put her (his) arm around her.50
Michael’s fingers rubbed the back of her neck; she started too (to) slid closer to him.
Kevin walked back to them with his drink. “Well, you have put my sister to sleep.(?)” He laughed.52
Jamie settled back down in her seat besides (beside) Michael.
Trish grasp (gasped) in horror as her hand covered her mouth.78
“Michael, I need you to move.” Jamie removed his arm and then he slide (slid) out of the booth. 79
(When or As)She began to slid (slide)out Kevin grabbed her hand. “Do you need my help?”80
“I’m tire (tired) to (of) be (being) the last one to know anything at all!”
Michael walked over to Jamie and offered his hand to help her (up).96
He stroke(stroked) her hair again as she touched his hand.99
“We all have deep dark secrets that we carried (carry) and it is a part of this job that we do.” Sometimes


