Hoping. Wishing. Praying.

They fight.1

And when they do, you are the one left in charge. You’re the eldest. You must.2

While your three younger siblings are allowed to cry, you have to keep it together.3

What does it matter that you can also hear the screams of terror coming from downstairs? 4

All that matters is that they are okay. 5

When the noises start you herd all of them into your room.6

You promise them that every thing will be alright. That it will get better. Even though you don’t believe that it will. How can it?7

You try to distract them, putting on music and playing games. Pulling out old Barbie dolls from under your bed and finding a pack of cards.8

You try to drown out the noise that they are making downstairs. No one should have to hear that.9

The crying stops and for once they are laughing. Even you stop worrying for long enough to join in. You’re happy. A smile grows on you face for the first time in months.10

You distantly hear the front door slam shut, signalling that the beating is over. 11

He’s gone.12

You leave the little ones to their games, promising to be back soon.13

Downstairs you find her. Your mother. Once again bruises pepper her pale skin. There is a pool of blood surrounding her head. She is conscious, but only just.14

You help her upstairs to the bathroom, strip her of her clothes and turn the tap on. Hot water flows out, filling the tub. With a little help from you, she climbs in.15

You leave her to clean herself up.16

Back downstairs you begin cleaning up the mess they made. You clean up the blood. Pick up the broken pieces of glass. You try not to think about what happened, but the evidence in front of you makes it hard not to. Tears begin to form in your eyes. You blink them back – you won’t cry. 17

Soon you have the house looking spotless again. By this time your mother has finished in the bathroom. You help her out of the tub, wrap her in a towel and lead her into her room.18

You sit on the bed with her, combing her hair. In all this time she hasn’t spoken once. She never does.19

You pick her out a pair of pyjamas and help her into them.20

You pull back the covers and she climbs into bed. As soon as her head hits the pillow her tired eyes shut.21

You watch her for a little while, sleeping. You hope that in her dreams she is far away from this place. Somewhere better, living a better life.22

She looks so small, so delicate. 23

Once again tears form in your eyes and this time you let one fall. Just one.24

Eventually, you retreat to your room.25

Your siblings are still playing their childish games. The stereo is still blaring loudly. The screams from a couple of hours ago are distant memories and they are perfectly unaware of the hell that they are living in.26

You’re not.27

You know what is going on.28

You know it’s wrong.29

But what can you do? You’re only twelve.30

Nothing. That’s what.31

So you have to carry on.32

Living this hell one day after the next.33

Knowing that you can’t change a damn thing.34

Keep repeating the routine over and over again.35

Hoping. Wishing. Praying. 36

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • iBubbles
    May 24, 2008
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    very nice, and sad. a very well written peice. :] keep writing.


  • NiceGirl
    April 27, 2008

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    Just too good! A very strong piece. Brought out all the emotions but showed the strength of the kid, the hell he/she is going through. And even though you used this "You"-form it did sound very personal and made one relate to the character.
    Great work done!


  • moonwriter
    April 24, 2008

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    That was incredible. I love how you spaced it. It made it that much more powerful. I felt like crying, but thankfully, I didn't. It was a very sad, emotional piece. I was horrified at the thought of a twelve year old having to deal with that kind of responsiblity. That was just incredible. The way you wrote it was indescribable.

    The emotions were clear and well displayed. I loved how you wrote it using 'you'. Dping that made it that much easier to get into it. It made it so that the reader could actually picture themselves in that kind of place.

    I would have to say that it was one of the best things I've ever read


  • Miss Hanako Megumi
    April 4, 2008
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    Very nice. Good imagery and detail.

  • ElfSong
    April 2, 2008
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    By writing the story in the way you did, you made it compelling. There were not too many mistakes and it was very readable. The emotion and sense of helplessness were portrayed excellently. Although a relatively short piece, it is strong and hard hitting. Great work and good luck.

  • daftweejimmy gold member
    March 25, 2008

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    I was a psychiatric nurse more years ago than I care to think about. I heard these sentiments more often than I could cope with, which was one of the reasons I packed it in; but thank you for speaking so articulately and so unaffectedly about something we ignore at our peril; thank you for making it real, but above all thank you for using your yalent as nearly positively as the subject matter allows


  • LostSoulOfRage
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    thnx for entering the contest.
    this is so good! i loved it. its an extremly well written story. its a very touching story. very sad. i really like it. great job and good luck. keep it up!

    -LostSoul


  • Jacki.
    March 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Extremely well written and moving.


  • Amicus2K9 silver member
    March 21, 2008

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    Excellent and painful...

    ...hope you win an award for this, very touching, very telling, very well done. And short and concise, no extra words, no embellishments, no flowery descriptions beyond the necessary, just crisp, purposeful writing to convey a scene and the emotions, so very well done...

    I did notice in P6, 'heard' might be 'herd'...smiles...

    good luck in contest...

    regards...

    Amicus...

1 - 10 of 10