Wings Of Regret

Hope Winterian ran through the dark forest as fast as her numb legs could carry her, tears streaming down her pale face. The night was cold, the misty air clinging to her thin sweater, causing it to become slightly damp. But she didn’t notice the cold that seemed to envelop the forest, like a hazy shroud hiding the place from the world’s unforgiving eyes. All she knew was that she had to keep on running. 1

This can’t be happening to me. Not now, not tonight. Please not tonight. The words ran through Hope’s head like clockwork – her mind’s automatic coping mechanism which allowed her to slip away from the horrific situation. The clouds covering the moon disappeared then, and pale moonlight filtered in through the shadowy canopy of trees. As slivers of moonbeam touched Hope’s skin, she was reminded of the unspeakable event that was to happen when the full moon faded at the end of the night, her stubborn mind failing to repress it this time. Terrified, she stumbled on a fallen log, collapsing onto the sodden forest floor with a sob, hardly noticing that she was covered in small cuts.2

No, it can’t be tonight, she thought desperately, it’s too soon. It can’t be one year and six months already. It can’t. 3

When a light, tingling feeling spread through the tips of her pale fingers, she screamed, her voice muffled by the dense forest. Glancing up swiftly, Hope searched for the moon amidst the dark tree leaves, her wet eyes stinging. It hung like a shiny pearl above her, no longer strong and bright like it had been a few hours ago, which meant that she had very little time left. Mere minutes. 4

Shakily, she stood up from the forest floor, tears gathering in her grey eyes. Not knowing what else to do, she began running again, slower this time, her mind beginning to accept her fate. 5

My life’s over, she thought to herself sadly, jogging now. I don’t want to end it like this, not without saying goodbye to Victor.6

Victor Eventide. Her heart swelled at the name. Sweet, beautiful, Victor Eventide. Victor, who had once risked his life for her. Victor, whom she would do anything for, even if it meant sacrificing everything. Victor, the love of her life who had been hospitalised and near death one year, six months ago. 7

Hope had been willing to give up everything for his life, but she hadn’t been ready to turn her back on humanity, despite what she had thought. 8

What have I done? What have I done to myself?!9

Anger – bubbly, fierce anger – raged through her then, melting away her earlier fears. How could she have been so foolish? So rash in a decision like this? She had grabbed the chance instinctively, without thinking, and now she was to pay the consequences. 10

I don’t want this, she thought to herself angrily, done with tears and crying. 11

She suddenly felt like screaming at the top of her lungs. 12

“I don’t want this!” she yelled, her voice echoing throughout the stillness. 13

She was alone, but she knew it was listening. “Do you hear me?! I don’t want it anymore!”14

Darkness crept upon Hope, enveloping her like a smothering blanket. For a brief moment she thought that her yelling had worked; that she had managed to break the deal that was made one year and six months ago. But then she felt the blood. Terrified, she reached for her face, her heart stopping when she felt the tears of blood falling from her eyes. 15

“Oh God, it’s happening,” she said, her voice frantic. 16

She stumbled in the darkness, blinking tears of blood, desperate to get back into the light. The tangy, wettish smell coming from the crimson rivers coursing down her face was beginning to make her nauseous, as the smell of blood often did. Breaking free from the shadows that surrounded her, she found herself in a large clearing that held an inky, still lake in its centre. Here, the last light of the fading moon skimmed across the surface of the dark waters, and the wind and stars stood still. It was as though the whole forest was holding its breath, waiting.17

Tentatively, Hope walked towards the lake, strangely drawn to its inky, yet reflective waters. She knelt down by the water’s edge, sitting in the last beams of moonlight, also waiting. Desolation and defeat radiated from her still form. The transformation had already begun; she knew there was no turning back now.18

When the pale, translucent shafts of light began to dim, she felt her whole body go cold, her blood slowing to a faint beat. An icy, rippling sensation radiated throughout her as her body glowed a deep purple, shimmery sparks of light dancing upon her pale, purple glowing skin. Looking down at her arms in mild fear, she watched as a spirally design etched itself into her flesh, running from wrist to elbow. Hope stood up – dazed – as she tried to take it all in. She was turning.19

A violent, burning pain ripped through her shoulders then, breaking the dream-like state she’d been in. Hope screamed in anguish as it tore itself down her back, feeling the wetness of warm blood seeping through her clothes. She could feel the invisible knife burning as it ripped a clean cut down her shoulders, and she gasped from the breaking pain. Trembling, she fell onto her knees, her tears of blood flowing more freely than ever, splashing onto the dark grass below. 20

She let out another scream of pain as ivory bones emerged from the two deep gashes on her back, spreading until they were the skeletal structure of wings. Her whole body twisted in pain as she felt the bones rip through torn skin and into the night. Shivering when soft, inky purple feathers fanned themselves over the ivory skeleton, she prayed for the searing pain to end. Her body throbbed as rivers of blood trickled from her back and eyes, dizziness threatening to claim her. The icy cold she was feeling seeped into her blood, frosting over her airways and lungs, freezing out any warmness she had left in her barely human body. 21

When she felt the twisting pain subside, she let out a sigh of relief, grateful to even be alive after so much pain. After everything, she was now even more determined to stay alive. Cautiously, she turned her head to the side, her long brown hair sweeping past her now bare shoulders, feeling her heart stop as her eyes took in the wings. Her wings. Large, feathery, inky wings that grew from her back, almost melting into the darkness. 22

What have I become?23

Shakily, she wiped away the blood from her eyes, standing up carefully; afraid she might lose her balance due to her new wings. But they were lighter than she’d expected, moving with her gracefully, rustling slightly as the air ran its fingers along their feathery form. 24

Her breathing soft and even, Hope looked over at the dark lake, hesitating. Curiosity finally won over regret, and she walked over towards it, her wings folding neatly behind her. Standing on the soft, muddy banks of the lake, she wiped the last of the blood from her eyes and looked down at her reflection. Her reflection in the inky, slightly reflective lake was something that looked like it came from the depths of fantasy, and if she hadn’t experienced the pain earlier, Hope would’ve thought that the water was playing tricks with her eyes. 25

Her eyes. They were no longer a cool grey, but had lightened into a startling purple, her black pupils contrasting darkly against the odd colour. And her wings. Seeing them arching gracefully from her back caused her to realise that she could never face the world again, or the light either. Dark wings like these would reflect light like a diamond, throwing off any beam that threatened to touch its shadows. 26

Standing there beneath the last shadows of night, in the deep, silent forest, Hope realised what she had become.27

“A dark angel.” The whispered words seemed to echo around her, caught by some wind that she didn’t feel. 28

What am I going to do now? What is its purpose for me? Surely it didn’t change me for nothing? I’ve become a dark angel…are there any others like me out there? 29

The questions continued to slip into her mind, questions she knew only one thing could answer. Hope looked across the deep lake, her purple eyes scanning the shadows which cloaked the trees on the other side. As she stared at the shadows with her purple eyes, she thought she saw a fleeting movement within them; a movement that merged softly into the folds of darkness before she had time to focus on it. 30

“Show yourself,” Hope muttered softly, surprised when the words rang throughout the clearing. It seemed as though her voice too, had changed.31

Seconds passed without any movement from the shadows beyond, but she knew it was there, watching her. 32

“If you choose not to show yourself, I’ll have no choice but to summon you.”33

Silence laughed back at her, as though daring her to go through with the summoning. Smiling vindictively, she began to chant the ancient words which would summon the entity. 34

“Spirits of air, sand and sea,35

Converge to set the Angel free.36

On the wind I send this rhyme,37

Bring-”38

A gust of icy wind ripped through the clearing, cutting off her last words, causing the trees to move about restlessly. Blinking a few times in the strong wind, she turned to face Death. Folds of deep, dark night enveloped its floating form, as it continually drew in the darkness around it. It had no body, for it was forever cloaked by shadows, which swirled about it like storm clouds rolling across the horizon. 39

“Never summon me again.” The voice of Death sounded like the sins of the damned, invoking a sense of helpless despair in anyone who heard it.40

She knew that every time Death was summoned, its soul ripped, causing it great pain. 41

They stood facing each other, silent and still, the air about them brewing with dark energy. Finally, she spoke.42

“I’ve shifted into a dark angel.”43

“Dark angel?” Death scoffed, sounding almost human, “hardly. You’ve shifted into the dark angel.”44

Hope blanched at the words, “You mean… there are no others like me then? No other people who’ve-”45

“If everyone was as foolish as you were then this planet would be overflowing with dark angels,” Death cut her off. 46

“I wasn’t foolish.” Her words were dark, edged with spite. 47

“Really? You traded your soul for the soul of one dying Victor Eventide, whom you claim to love, and now have turned into the first dark angel who’s bound to do my bidding. Not only can you not face the light again, but you can also no longer face humanity. You think that your decision wasn’t a foolish one?”48

“I love him,” she replied quietly.49

“Ah, yes- love. The bittersweet melody that is as ancient and unchanging as time itself. You say you love him, but will he love you after he finds out what you have become? A creature of death and darkness; the first dark angel?” 50

“He will still love me,” she said through clenched teeth, feeling the icy blood inside her drop several degrees instead of boiling like other people’s blood would’ve in a situation like this.51

“Whatever you choose to believe, my dark angel,” Death said, its dense shadows rippling as the early rays of dawn threatened to break across the skies. 52

With another gust of cold wind, Death swept up its shadows and vanished into the faded night. Staring at the spot where Death had once stood, Hope began to feel a slight warmness creep over her pale skin. Glancing up, she realised that the early pink sunlight was almost upon her, and without thinking twice, she spread her midnight wings and flew into the shadows, away from the rising sun, and, the world. 53