Malevolent Shadow

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I am here somewhere deep.6

I can hear you calling.7

Calling with reason and love,8

but I am to far gone now.9

Taken over.10

It speaks for me and rules my thoughts.11

Locks me away in a numbing blackness,12

but please don't be fooled,13

the malevolent shadow will not stay to long.14

The bitter hate that was made15

by life's spiteful traits tortured my soul.16

I feel it crawl through my body.17

Stabbing at my neck.18

Tears rush to my eyes and spill down face.19

It is coming to take me yet again20

and I can't fight back.21

Please don't speak22

or call or shout.23

It will leave soon, 24

and the blackness will go.25

The hate will stop pouring26

and the wounds will heal up.27

The darkness will subside from my eyes28

and my soul will shine through,29

till despair comes calling again,30

and holds me tight without truce.

Author notes

This is a piece about an illness I was diganosed with after I had my baby girl. Apparently I had borderline schizophrena that was triggered by the trauma of post natal depression. This is me expressing what it makes me feel like when it hits me.

Thank you for reading and please no comments on grammar on this one - it's just to personal to me!

Thanks again,

C.E

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Dillweed
    April 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I am here somewhere deep.
    I can hear you calling.
    Calling with reason and love,
    but I am to far gone now.
    I loved that it just made me go "wow" This was so beautiful, and so sad, i have no Idea what to say...

  • MoonRoseWolf
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was beautifully personal and emotional, and it held me from the very start, it is so heartfelt.

    You know I'm always here if you just want to talk or anything,like just rant off, thats what I'm here for!

    ~Mirryxxxxx


  • DarkOneShadow
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    My cousin had something similar

    Like Amicus said, it's a recognizable illness and it affects everyone differently. I understand that it's very personal to you and please know that you have us to rely on if you need to talk, vent, or just get away from life in general

    Thanks for sharing, sweetie.

    DarkOne

  • alreadyloveuforever
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is good, emotional. and because its real that makes it that bit better, stay strong.

  • V l
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was real raw and so deep. Keep faith and stay strong and knew you got a frend here in me.


  • Amicus2K9
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    PPD can be tough....

    Post Partum Depression is a recognized illness, in addition to the borderline malady you might have had. Good job in speaking of this, perhaps it will assist another recognize or deal with a similar situation.

    very nice work...

    Amicus...



  • Disposable
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    To be breif: I have been down that road...so many times it is not even funny: suffer form diagnosis myself...

    It was so instense, full of emotional despair, so wonderfully written. provoking.. you know it had that edge that reason and a message ...

    Tears rush to my eyes and spill down face.

    It is coming to take me yet again

    and I can't fight back.

    Thats the lines that meant the most to me

    Loved it ^.^~ Blair

1 - 7 of 7