Dear Children of the World, 1
Santa is very down this year. Seems the mixture of Prozac and Zoloft just isn't working like it used to. 2
The reindeer don't want to fly and it's so damn cold outside I wish Christmas was in the middle of July! 3
Going to 5 billion homes is growing old. My bones are brittle do you know what going down all those chimneys does to a person? No-you don't. I don't think you even care. 4
I regret to inform you that about 80 percent of you little buggers is on the naughty list this year. Ten year old Jill, I give you five years before you'll be on the pill. Of course, you won't take it and then I'll have another child to bring toys to. 5
And Jack Sprat! You little brat! I saw what you did to your mom. After she told you to clean up your room you stuck your tongue out at her. Then Dad came in to get you to work on it and you gave him the FINGER! 6
Little Micheal who only wants a red bicycle. Forget it! You're getting coal and soot. I saw you steal that kid's boots and gloves. You left him to freeze in the rain! No, bike-no toy cars- no electric train! 7
And don't think that I don't know Joe, what you did to your sis. You promised to give her dolly a kiss and you ripped off her head. You'll only find wool sheets for your bed this Christmas. 8
There are so many more little brats with your "gimme this's and gimme that's!" I've give up. 9
This year I'm letting the Easter Bunny do my run. His eggs are spoiled you won't have any fun! 10
Crappy Holidays One and All!!! 11
See you all in Juvenile Hall!!! 12
~Santa~13
Author notes
Yem is a big deal!
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Perfection
This was great. I've never had to deal with kids, so I don't overly understand how bad it can be, but I also know that I was no treat to take care of, either...I'm sweet and innocent, yeah, but that's just what Iwanted everyone to see. -
Oh my gosh, lol! Wow, that's definitely not what I was expecting to read. Sadly it's true, a lot of kids act like
selfish little brats and it drives me nuts! Thanks for the
read. Take care and God Bless~
Katie
Merry Christmas -
Aww that's too bad that you had to quit teaching! My son's first grade teacher is always stressed out because the kids expect to be spoiled and have things their way. I hope it's something they grow out of but I fear it's not. I'm there in class two to three times a week for an hour and a half a day so I know my son doesn't act up because I'll take him outside and deal with him right then and there. I don't accept such behaviour and he knows it.
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I agree with harland but i also cant help but laugh at certain parts and the picture as well even though I love the magical big guy! Lol. Anyway this is very good write!
Tori -
I fear there is more fact than fiction in this work. That being said it is still funny as heck. I got out of teaching because of the children you mention here. I really enjoyed reading this since I don't have to deal with it anymore.
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good
You're so right! I may not have kids, but I'm a lifeguard, so I know. You think babysitting two kids is bad? Try fifty. -
This is a great take on the jolly old elf.Those kids would get worse than rotten eggs if that was everyday behavior.You did a great job good luck.
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You must know my kids...
Just kidding. This is a nicely done piece of truth under the guise of humor. Too bad it was so short, I was really getting into it.
~~~POO~~~
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very amusing and funny, great job. i loved the picture!
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very good
See you all in Juvenile Hall!!!
I think that is exactly what we need, a Santa with some serious discipline issues.
Well done.
John -
WOO HOO HAPPY HOLIDAYS. Mister Grump lol
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Thanks I checked it out you were right! I used AP's spell checker so go figure huh? This is what Juvenal means...Roman satirist whose works denounced the corruption and extravagance of the privileged classes in Rome.
LOL Thanks. I'll fix that now. -
Really? Because I ran it through a spell checker... I'll have to check that out. Thanks.
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Thanks and that's fine. There's been times I've seen people rant and rave about how some poem or another was perfect and it was the worst thing I ever read. Thanks for your comment.
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this is cute, very nice. an error: juvenile has no a. i swear, trust me on this one, k.
anyhow, great piece. very amusing to read. -
spaghetti and peas don't mix
It's funny but I don't think it's the riot everyone is making it...no offense. Good job.
~K -
This is funny! I like this alot its cute, and THATS RIGHT KIDS YOU BETTER BE GOOD OR ELSE YOU WILL GET ROTTEN EGGS!!!
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Yes, I know I was inspired by this other incredibly awesome author... LOL
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Thank you--I am a big deal--so nixe of you to notice...
I love the graphic and the miserable Santa--the whole thing reminds me of this other author I know--rhymes with Clem---
I love silliness--thanks for humoring me
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pouts awww man.. Santa saw what i did too, didnt he?! tries to hide the naughty list
tehehe. this was a clever poem indeed. Where you come up with these things, I will never know, but this was definately awesome!!!!
Much love~~
Ashley -
SOOOOOO funny!!! i loved it! the rhyme within the paragraph/sentence/stanzas was cool too!
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LOL...this was hilarious... ROFL, LAMO..so funny....poor santa...i just went to a Christmas assembly and my friend was Santa...really funny. keep up the great work!
~Tenn
(still laughing...once i start laffing i cant stop. o.O) -
Hilarious!
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Incredibly Funny!
LOL this was funny! I so needed that laugh! lmao thank you !!!
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lol, this is awesome. I wish my exclamation button were working because they'd be everywhere. LMAO, lil twist on poor santie claus.
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OMG!!LMAO!! Too funny..... I think I'd probably be making Santa's naughty list this ear....
Great job!!!
All the best,
Mandy
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