Floating to the Ground

"Forbidden to remember, terrified to forget; it was a hard line to walk."1

Lately I've been floating through life. Just taking everything in stride, saying things just to say how they come out. Just to experiment. Laughing at every joke, even if it isn't meant to be funny. When you're trying so hard not to think of something it's easier to just...let go for a little.2

Unconsciously, I realize one downside to this. I'm losing control. I can feel myself become ditzier every day, a little more air-headed. A little stupider every day.3

Honestly-I'm scared. I'm scared of so many things. Even though I hate to think of it, even though it was so painful, I'm scared that I'll forget. I'm scared I'll lose all of these memories that bring me so much pain. I'm scared that I'll lose control of myself, send myself to a self-made prison of stupid thoughts and confusion. I'm scared that you'll leave me here...so cold and so alone.4

I've been floating through life. Floating closer and closer to my destination. The ground.5

I'm scared that I'm going to land too soon, that when I've hit I might not be able to stand back up. I'm scared that I'm crying. And I'm scared because I don't really know why.

Author notes

Yea...I was lazy. I didn't really go over this, I will later. Promise. So...what did you think?

Ooh! I know! I should get a parachute!

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • GregTheWang
    March 20, 2008

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    Great write. The substance was all in there, but you need to revise a few times to get rid of some sentence choppiness and your tense is a bit inconsistent in a few areas.


  • StarIlluminated
    March 20, 2008

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    Meredith, this is awesome!!!!! I love this story so much and I'm hooked...although I don't think you are adding to it haha. I liked it a lot and you don't have to change anything! Good job!
    *KT*


  • riasme
    March 20, 2008
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    yey mer (I know ur going to kill me for calling u mer ^^UUU) this is excellent crud, I haven't been on sw or ap for a while - do you know if the school is just skipping over day 4 or are they doing day 4 on monday? jw....anyway great job see u l8r
    lise
    ps. I 'm on the school comps ^^UUUUUU and maybe we can go on AIM this friday? I want to talk to u


    • StarIlluminated
      March 20, 2008
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      LISEE you have a screen name??? Give it to me, I have one too!


      • riasme
        March 21, 2008
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        yas I do!! let me message you and tell you and tell me urs too!!

1 - 5 of 5