After a while,
cartoons got old.
So we went for a walk.
Faire une promenade a pied. 1
We walked
side by side
towards the river.
It was quite cold,
but as long as we kept moving
we wouldn't freeze.
The sidewalk was icy
so we stayed on the road.
Subconsciously we started drifting
towards Raize's house.
Both of us were spacing out
and not really saying much. 2
Finally when we were about
a street away from his house,
he noticed where we were headed.
By now, I was shivering.
Sometimes even a hoodie
is just not enough. 3
"Can we not go there?"
Raize looked apprehensive. 4
"But...but...
I'm really cold!"
I whined. 5
"Please.
Lets just go
to a cafe or something."6
Coffee did sound good.
Also it seemed like maybe
Raize got in another fight
with his father.
It would explain why
he was in my room at 3 am. 7
"Okay.
Where to?"
I couldn't say much
with my chattering teeth. 8
"Hmm...
How about Riverside?"
He asked.9
"That works."
I was still shivering
and we weren't exactly
close to the small cafe.
Raize noticed.10
"Hold on a second.
I'll be right back.
Stay here," he said.
He pulled his keys
out of his pocket,
and ran towards his house.11
Raize came back a few minutes later.
Except he drove up
in his brothers car.
Raize's brother, Dan,
let him borrow it sometimes.
Dan is 19
and has blond hair
compared to Raize's black.
I quickly hopped in
the dark blue Toyota
and turned up the heat.
By now I was
shivering pretty badly.12
"We'll be there soon,"
Raize assured me. 13
We were driving along the river.
It was mostly frozen
at this time of year.
There are some nice spots
to ice skate along it.
Of course, that's if you're
not afraid of falling through the ice
and slowly freezing to death. 14
Raize and I weren't.
Just not today.15
The Riverside cafe
was located in a bend of the river.
The river surrounded it on two sides.
One side held a parking lot,
and the last was obscured by trees.
A bit further up the road
was a bridge.
Some poor kid had fallen off it
and broken his neck
earlier in the year. 16
We pulled into the parking lot.
There was only two or three
other cars in the lot.
Not very busy, surprisingly.
We walked in and sat
in the corner on an old couch.
The cafe was nice and toasty.
I ordered a cafe mocha
and a muffin.
Raize got a latte
and a huge cookie.
We sat back and relaxed.
On the wall next to us
was a bookshelf
and some random paintings.
Behind us was a big bay window.
There was quiet music playing.17
"So..." I began,
at a loss for words.
"What happened last night?"18
He shuddered
and looked away.
"Father..."
he growled. 19
I hugged him.
"Razie...
he's an ass.
Everyone knows it.
Just no one wants to say it."20
"I know,"
Raize sighed.
"Last night
we somehow got on
the topic of my education.
He should be happy
that I'm even going
to a collage next year.
But no, it HAS
to be Rutgers.
Simply because he went there."21
I just let him rant.
We had talked about this before. 22
"Mother is even worse.
She just doesn't care.
When she does,
it's because we're interrupting
something of hers.
Of course,
it's All. My. Fault!"
He was very, very
pissed off by this point. 23
"Shh, Razie, it's ok.
They don't matter.
I'm always here for you."
I was trying to calm him down
even a little bit.24
"Of course they matter!
They're the ones paying for it!
If I don't go to Rutgers,
I won't be able to afford
anything else I want!"
Raize was furious. 25
"Well, why don't you
want to go there?"
I asked timidly.26
"Because it would take me
way too far away
from you."
He sighed. 27
I laughed.
"Razie,
you can live without me!"28
"No, I can't."
He sighed again.
"In the fourteen years
that we've been friends,
only you have kept me sane."29
I sighed as well.
"Well...
Maybe you don't
even need your parents.
There are so many scholarships
you could get.
You're brilliant Razie."
I was a lot more hopeful now.
Raize WAS brilliant.
He had good grades.
He was the most amazing photographer.
He had so many talents.
Oh, and an amazing personality. 30
"Well...ok.
I guess we could try
to find something for me.
What about you?"31
"For me...
Boston is my dream.
But...I don't know."
We let a silence
drift over us
as we finished our coffees.
cartoons got old.
So we went for a walk.
Faire une promenade a pied. 1
We walked
side by side
towards the river.
It was quite cold,
but as long as we kept moving
we wouldn't freeze.
The sidewalk was icy
so we stayed on the road.
Subconsciously we started drifting
towards Raize's house.
Both of us were spacing out
and not really saying much. 2
Finally when we were about
a street away from his house,
he noticed where we were headed.
By now, I was shivering.
Sometimes even a hoodie
is just not enough. 3
"Can we not go there?"
Raize looked apprehensive. 4
"But...but...
I'm really cold!"
I whined. 5
"Please.
Lets just go
to a cafe or something."6
Coffee did sound good.
Also it seemed like maybe
Raize got in another fight
with his father.
It would explain why
he was in my room at 3 am. 7
"Okay.
Where to?"
I couldn't say much
with my chattering teeth. 8
"Hmm...
How about Riverside?"
He asked.9
"That works."
I was still shivering
and we weren't exactly
close to the small cafe.
Raize noticed.10
"Hold on a second.
I'll be right back.
Stay here," he said.
He pulled his keys
out of his pocket,
and ran towards his house.11
Raize came back a few minutes later.
Except he drove up
in his brothers car.
Raize's brother, Dan,
let him borrow it sometimes.
Dan is 19
and has blond hair
compared to Raize's black.
I quickly hopped in
the dark blue Toyota
and turned up the heat.
By now I was
shivering pretty badly.12
"We'll be there soon,"
Raize assured me. 13
We were driving along the river.
It was mostly frozen
at this time of year.
There are some nice spots
to ice skate along it.
Of course, that's if you're
not afraid of falling through the ice
and slowly freezing to death. 14
Raize and I weren't.
Just not today.15
The Riverside cafe
was located in a bend of the river.
The river surrounded it on two sides.
One side held a parking lot,
and the last was obscured by trees.
A bit further up the road
was a bridge.
Some poor kid had fallen off it
and broken his neck
earlier in the year. 16
We pulled into the parking lot.
There was only two or three
other cars in the lot.
Not very busy, surprisingly.
We walked in and sat
in the corner on an old couch.
The cafe was nice and toasty.
I ordered a cafe mocha
and a muffin.
Raize got a latte
and a huge cookie.
We sat back and relaxed.
On the wall next to us
was a bookshelf
and some random paintings.
Behind us was a big bay window.
There was quiet music playing.17
"So..." I began,
at a loss for words.
"What happened last night?"18
He shuddered
and looked away.
"Father..."
he growled. 19
I hugged him.
"Razie...
he's an ass.
Everyone knows it.
Just no one wants to say it."20
"I know,"
Raize sighed.
"Last night
we somehow got on
the topic of my education.
He should be happy
that I'm even going
to a collage next year.
But no, it HAS
to be Rutgers.
Simply because he went there."21
I just let him rant.
We had talked about this before. 22
"Mother is even worse.
She just doesn't care.
When she does,
it's because we're interrupting
something of hers.
Of course,
it's All. My. Fault!"
He was very, very
pissed off by this point. 23
"Shh, Razie, it's ok.
They don't matter.
I'm always here for you."
I was trying to calm him down
even a little bit.24
"Of course they matter!
They're the ones paying for it!
If I don't go to Rutgers,
I won't be able to afford
anything else I want!"
Raize was furious. 25
"Well, why don't you
want to go there?"
I asked timidly.26
"Because it would take me
way too far away
from you."
He sighed. 27
I laughed.
"Razie,
you can live without me!"28
"No, I can't."
He sighed again.
"In the fourteen years
that we've been friends,
only you have kept me sane."29
I sighed as well.
"Well...
Maybe you don't
even need your parents.
There are so many scholarships
you could get.
You're brilliant Razie."
I was a lot more hopeful now.
Raize WAS brilliant.
He had good grades.
He was the most amazing photographer.
He had so many talents.
Oh, and an amazing personality. 30
"Well...ok.
I guess we could try
to find something for me.
What about you?"31
"For me...
Boston is my dream.
But...I don't know."
We let a silence
drift over us
as we finished our coffees.
Author notes
Yes, I finally decided on a title! YAY! oh, and a dedication;
Dedicated to Daniel Van Werkhoven;
For being an awesome friend, an amazing musician, and helping with the title.
Love you Dan.
(He's Doozer Dan on here)
Help please? What would make this flow more smoothly? Any suggestions?
In a list
Title ideas, please.
Comments
-
I quite like this piece. I already think it flows pretty well. There was lots of description in it and although it was not particulally long I felt i had a real feel for the characters in it. I was not quite sure if the two people in this story were sweet hearts or if they were just best frieds (or both I suppose, my partner started out as my best friend. I think that friendship is one of the most important factors of a relationship (That and I think he is really hot, lol)). There was just enough dialogue to give a real flavour for the people in this story but not too much that it disrupted the rhythm of the piece. Good work my dear, keep it up.
X Amber X


