Let's Go (A Running Poem)

(Two pairs of shoes – pounding the icy snow)1

Where are we going!?2

(Our hands – holding on tightly)3

You are pulling my arm.4

(My scarf - flapping behind)5

You are going too fast.6

(My hot breath – fogging in the cold air)7

Whoa!8

(Our hearts – beating fast)9

Won't you slow down!?10

(My arm – hurting)11

You are mad!12

(His throaty laugh – resonating in my ear)13

You are never going to stop, will you?14

(Our eyes made contact)15

...Let's go.

Author notes

Experimenting just for fun.

Say anything, please

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Comments


  • Tsubasa
    June 13, 2008

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    I really liked this. I keep reading it over and over and I can't seem to get tired of it. It seems so real and so fun that I want to go, too. Although I'm not much of a runner... I loved it. It makes me happy, reading it. Thank you.

    Tsubasa


  • IGWooten
    March 18, 2008

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    good

    I have to say this is a delightful, fun poem. Two people running in the snow gives a joyful picture. I liked reading it.
    Good job!
    Keep on writing!

    Sincerely,
    IGW


  • Amicus2K9
    March 18, 2008
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    A lovely experiment....

    Boy/girl, testing physical endurance, teasing taunting, both knowing, very well done...visual might be just a whit more effective if you used a white font to portray cold and snow and breath....dunno...maybe...I like the scene you paint, maybe a scarf, a wrap-around, trailing behind, a wispy feminine thing...just a thought...

    nice...

    amicus...