The cooperation that saved John Dorian’s life

- Why were you exactly born, John Dorian? 1

My teacher in English wanted me to have an answer, and smiled expectantly.
All the heads were turned, and they stared at me. Like they had never seen me before. Silly cows, I thought. Of course they thought I had a funny answer that would even make the teacher laugh.
I didn’t have any; I was tired, hungry and cold. Maybe I was sick? Please God, make me throw up! God doesn’t like me I think. He never listens to what I say. Although that may be because I never listen to him either. 2

- The reason why I was born, is that God needed somebody to laugh at. That bastard loves to watch me stumble and fall. 3

I looked deadly serious into the teacher’s eyes. She smiled, but her eyes told me a totally different story. She has one of those “I love God” t-shirts.
Fake old woman. I think she hates me because I always make a joke out of everything.4

But it is actually true what I said. I am the clumsiest person I know about. There is probably something wrong with my balance, or maybe it’s a curse. On an average day I stumble at least ten times. 5

The rest of the time the teacher spend to talk about her cats. Weird, weird woman. Is there some sort of test that decides who should be a teacher? If so, it wouldn’t be any teachers left at my school. 6

My PE-teacher is the freakiest of them all, but I like him. We rarely have a normal class. He tells us stories, when we really should be playing football or something. His favourite story is about the murder on Waterloo Bridge. It has a really nice view to London, because it’s strategically placed at a bend in the river. It’s also the only Thames bridge that was damaged by German bombers during World War two. 7

The murder happened on the seventh of September in 1978. Georgi Markov, a Bulgarian dissident was crossing the bridge, when he was jabbed in the leg by a man holding an umbrella. The man apologized, and Markov later told that he had spoken in a foreign language. Later the same day, Markov developed high fever, and died in agony three days later. The doctors found a small platinum pellet stuck in his calf. Two small holes were drilled in the bullet, containing traces of the poison Ricin. It was later found out that the man that had assassinated Georgi Markov was an agent from the Bulgarian secret police.8

My teacher always tell that story like he was there himself. He loves mysteries, and is fascinated by murders. He looks kind of creepy himself; with a beard that contains bugs that I’m sure hasn’t been discovered yet, and ice blue eyes that could make you shiver. But he is the nicest of all the teachers.9

At the end of the day, I decided to take a walk over the Waterloo Bridge. I had my mp3 with me, and hummed for myself while walking. 10

I wasn’t far from the South Bank, when someone patted me on my back. I was caught by surprise, because I hadn’t heard anything else than the music from my mp3. When I turned, I saw a man with a hat. He was holding an umbrella. The sun dazzled me, so I couldn’t see who he was. He stepped forward. I took a step back. 11

God hadn’t changed his mind about me. I stumbled, and fell backwards. The man reached out his hand. He had gloves, and on one of his fingers he had a gold ring. I took his hand. When he dragged me up, I saw something shiny in his pocket. He didn’t let go of my hand.
A knife. I saw it clear now. The sun had disappeared behind a cloud. He stared at me.
I tried to kick him in the crunch, but my legs wouldn’t listen to me, and I almost fell down again. The man didn’t expect me to do that, so he lost his grip of my arm. 12

My brain started the cooperation with my legs exactly at that moment. I ran. Without falling.13

I told my mom, my dad, my crazy grandfather and my deaf dog the whole story. No one believed me. The dog didn’t even listen. 14

I told my friends, the postman and my English teacher. They laughed. 15

So I told it to my PE-teacher. He was so fascinated that he wrote my story down, and asked me a hundred questions that I couldn’t answer. 16

After a few weeks I forgot the whole thing. 17

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But my story still gets told to students that will get fat because they get no physical education. He calls it the cooperation that saved John Dorian’s life.
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