“You know, it’s bad for you,” said Rodney to Chester, causing him to look up from his pipe, which he had been filling. “The pipe, that is. You’re poisoning yourself with it.” 1
Chester just gave an apologetic smile, and continued tinkering with the tobacco. “Oh, I know, I know… My doctor and my dear Mildred keep nagging about it, too. But I’m too old to kick the habit.” 2
“Oh, I beg to differ. Why, you’re no older than I am, and besides, it’s never too late. You just take my advice, and you’ll live to be a hundred yet!”3
Chester calmly lit up his pipe with a match, and leaned back in his wingback. ” A hundred, you say? Oh, but I couldn’t give up my after dinner smoke. Helps my digestion, it does.” In the other chair, Rodney scoffed at this. 4
“Well your digestion wouldn’t need helping if you ate right. All that red meat and stodge… and pudding to boot. You’re poisoning yourself, old bean.”5
Later, after Rodney had gone home (on foot, explaining about the healthiness of excercise), Chester sat in front of the fireplace, thinking. He was quite tired of Rodney’s preaching about health, and constant claims that he was ‘poisoning himself.’ But there was no helping it, Rodney was his oldest friend, and Chester would just have to put up with his toot for a couple more weeks.6
Chester sighed, and took a sip from his glass of scotch. He really should have used a faster-acting poison.
Author notes
Not sure if this has enough of a twist for the contest, but here it is, anyway.
A contest entry
- Stories with a Twist!! by Blackwings.
1200 points, ended March 18, 2008, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Rather a wry sense of humor Mazzon...
I offer you the leap of faith you held back in your visit to my story in the following way....I recently underwent emergency surgery to removed a sizable cancerous growth from my bladder.
The doctors, there must have been a dozen of them, suggested I stop ingesting the 'poisons' of tobacco, alcohol and tasty foods so that I might enjoy the untold benefits of a nursing home in my declining years.
I declined to participate in their healthy regimen and continue to enjoy life and all its accoutrements as I can.
Short and succint work, good luck in the contest.
Amicus...
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Dang...he poisioned himself? ^.^ that's a twist ^.^ at first I thought thaT he ment Rodney but the stroy took a whole other path ^.^ Thanks sooooooo much for entering in my contest
Goooood luck
~Blackwings
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Liked that little ditty
I must confess however that I had anticipated Rodney getting run over by a bus during his healthy walk and Chester going to his funeral.
Liked some of the phrasing and dialogue.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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