When I was ten my parents gave me the most wonderful gift a boy could ever ask for. They planned a surprise Birthday party and invited most of my friends. I had gone fishing with my Uncle, which was one thing I enjoyed the most. I had no idea they were even planning anything so needless to say when we pulled up and the drive was full of cars I wondered what was going on. 1
I jumped out of the truck and ran into the house. When I ran in every one yelled “Surprise.” I jumped back startled. I hadn’t expected a big Birthday party like this and I was extremely pleased. Just as I turned around to see where my parents were they came walking into the room with Bailey. Bailey was a beautiful golden retriever puppy. Ahhhhh I was in love, my own dog.2
As I grew, Bailey grew with me. When I was sick, he was right by my side with a sweet face and kisses to make me feel better. We played Frisbee and catch, what more could a boy ask for? Getting older meant I spent more time with my friends and I knew deep in my heart I wasn’t around a lot for Bailey. I had baseball and soccer practices and games to attend; it took up a lot of my time. My parent’s took over most of the responsibilities for Bailey. I guess as you get older your priorities change a little. High school seemed to breeze by and the next thing I knew I was going away for college.3
I had won a baseball scholarship and headed off to attend Michigan State University. I was a long way from home and the first few months were really hard. I called home probably more then I should have, but my parents were always there for me with encouragement. I frequently asked about Bailey and my mother said he had taken to my dad; my dad actually took him to work with him now. They had bonded, she thought this was because they were both missing someone immensely and had clung to each other. My dad had been sick for awhile my mother had said although she wouldn’t go into detail about what, but she said Bailey had been by his side the whole time. Good ole Bailey always there for us a big bundle of love. I really missed the closeness my family shared; being so far away it was really hard at times. 4
My studies consumed me, unlike high school this was very demanding, plus my baseball. I hardly had time for anything else.5
I made some new friends and got involved with some school activities, but other then that I was much to busy for a social life. When the year ended I went home for the summer. My dad was back at work and was feeling much better. Mom was cooking my favorite meal when I got home. They were so excited I was home for the summer. The minuet I walked in the door and Bailey heard my voice he barreled into the room and showered me with sloppy kisses. Boy did he miss me, his heart so full of love.6
My dad and I spent the whole summer re connecting. We went fishing, hunting, hiking anything you could imagine dad and I did and I was so thankful for the time with him. He treated me as an adult now instead of a child and it was nice spending man time together. Bailey of course accompanied us on these ventures. Summer flew by so fast and the next thing I knew it was time to go back to school. My mother had put together a scrap book of the things we had done this summer and presented it to me before I left She said in case I got lonely I could look at these pictures. I kissed my parents and Bailey good bye and headed back to school.7
This semester was most difficult for me and my time was so consumed just keeping up with things. I didn’t have much time for phone calls so I squeezed them in when I could. I always talked to mom when I called because dad was out whenever I called. She said everything was well, but you could tell she was tired when I talked to her. I asked if she was ok and she said” Of course dear. I’m just a little tired is all, nothing to worry about.” So I took her at her word and didn’t worry.8
I decided this summer I was going to spend some of it with my friends doing a little traveling and then go home for the rest of the break to spend with my parents and Bailey. We spent four weeks traveling around when I made my periodic phone call to my parents, my mom said I should come home, you could tell she was crying, but would not tell me why. I got the first flight back home and my stomach was a mess the whole way there.9
I couldn’t imagine what was going on and of course I thought the worst. She met me at the airport and she looked so tired and her eyes were bright red, you could tell she had been crying. I hugged her as tight as I could and looked at her. She started crying again and told me to sit down.10
“Brian”, she started “Your father has been sick for a long time now, he has had heart problems.” I held my breath, my whole world was spinning, why hadn’t she told me?” He took a turn for the worst last night and passed away in his sleep.” Oh my God, my dad he was gone and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. “That’s not all hunny.” She continued. What else could she possibly have to tell me? “Sweetie I know this is hard, but you need to listen to me before you speak.”11
“When I found him this morning Bailey was lying with him, they died together.” She started crying even harder then. My heart actually ached and I couldn’t speak. Tears were running down my face freely now. She took a deep breath and continued again “Bailey went with him to be his guardian angel and as much as I loved your dad this gives me peace to think he will not be alone. That Bailey is with him.” 12
I took a deep breath and although my world at that moment was crushed she was right, they were together and would take care of each other.
Comments
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I agree, you are very straightforward, if not a little too much. It sounded a little naive, which you could've played around with a bit to make it even better. Some of the sentences didn't flow well, puntuation was ignored in some cases. There were a couple of spelling mistakes but nothing serious. You also need to be careful with your tenses. I thought that the ending was a bit abrupt. I really liked the way you built it up and included a bit of background. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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oh my gosh, this was so heartbreaking
i really love how straightforward you are
with the details you've written here.
and i almost cried at the end, just almost =[
beautiful write, all in all ^^ -
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Thank you
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