It’s a funny thing, how shouts ring through Baghdad’s night. It’s a familiar waltz, a warrior’s staccato song: Shouts, gunshots, sobs…nothing. Matt placidly rubs his gun, staring blindly into shadows. Matt glows with calm and valor; only his shaking lips show his actual thoughts.1
The screams are closer than ever tonight, and darkness seems to cling to his skin. He squeezes his eyes shut as gunfire erupts to his left and the cries are all too suddenly silenced. He is sick of death trailing after him like a forgotten child, only to slip it’s icy hand in his when he thinks it is gone forever. He’s tired of writing letters explaining that a son, daughter, sister, husband or brother will never be returning home. He’s done with the war.2
Around him other soldiers frantically adjust their night-vision goggles, as if they believe they can evade death if they can see it coming. Matt leaves his on the ground next to him; he’ll let the night keep its secrets. He doesn’t want to know what Iraq has burning beneath its skin.3
A crinkling noise causes his eyes to drift from the shadows, and Matt peeks at the young man next to him. He is a boy really, no older than twenty-two. He stares down at the photo clutched between his fingers, and quickly wipes a tear from his eyes. Matt leans over to see a beautiful blonde woman, her cheeks flushed with pain and excitement, smiling at the camera and holding a new baby.4
Matt bites his lip and cries out when metallic blood seeps onto his tongue. The boy glances at him and quickly looks away, running his sleeve across his face. Matt’s long arms quickly bridge the distance between them, and his hand clasps the boy's. The hazel eyes that rise to meet his are so full of pain and longing that Matt loses all the words that bubbled to his throat. He can only nod. 5
They sit there together in a rare moment of calm. The boy’s thoughts stray back to his young wife, while Matt contemplates the purpose of war. He decides they should never have come to this country, that there was no heroism in forcing democracy on another people. Like the young man beside him, he is ready to go home. 6
Headlights suddenly flare to life in the oppressive darkness surrounding the camp, and once again shouts fill the air. At this time of night, there are no friendly visitors, only suicide bombers aiming to strike while the enemy sleeps. Soldiers jump into action, some running to inform an officer and some already beginning to shoot. 7
Matt wrenches his hand away from the young man and leaps to his feet, his pupils shrinking as he stares straight into the light. He feels the darkness peel away from his skin, taking with it the screams and deaths of so many he has seen, or caused. He smiles as the headlights loom closer still.8
He leaves his gun on the ground, and wanders into the path of the Jeep. It bounces over rocks and equipment, paving a deadly trail to the heart of the camp. He smiles into the light, imagining the release, the freedom that will come when he is hit. The headlights loom closer still, and he can almost smell the sweet Kansas air…9
And then he is slammed against the dirt; the Jeep flies past. It reaches the camp’s center, and disappears as light and heat blasts. Matt feels flames rush past his cheek and he makes himself turn, seeing his redeemer. It is the man with the picture, the man with the baby and the beautiful wife. His tears glitter in the firelight, and Matt grips him tightly against his chest. They wait until the screaming ends.10
Author notes
The controversial issue in the story is (obviously) the war in Iraq. I've never been able to support it..why we should force democracy on a country where it clearly isn't work I'll never know.
There are two lights beyond the darkness, one literal and one figurative. The literal light is the headlights of the suicide bomber. The figurative is the hope that Matt gives the young man when he holds his hand, and how the young man uses that hope--and love and comradery and such that was inspired--to later save Matt when he has resigned himself to death.
I think this would have been more powerful with dialogue, but rules are rules.
Title comes from the poem "Tyger Tyger" by..mm I forget.
A contest entry
- The Writers Challenge - Grand Finale by Asfand.
600 points, ended March 20, 2008, 3 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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William Blake!
Just to prove my nerdiness...I definitely went through a phase when I thought his poetry was the best thing in the world...*giggles*
This piece was absolutely powerful! The tensions is well-wrought and the scene is so realistic I could hear the gunshots! Excellent job, really!
I didn't expect the ending, and I think that made it all the better. The controversy of the war is definitely apparent, and I think you press your point both tactfully and strongly. Personally, I think you underestimate yourself - I'm not sure that dialogue could have made this any more powerful than it already is! It's amazing how much of a story you can tell with so few words - you are truly a gifted writer! Those e's in the first paragraph were a bugger, weren't they? My story ended up in the present tense, too, for what I'm assuming is the same reason... *laughs* I enjoyed writing against you, my friend. 
Congrats on the shiny silver trophy! It is well-deserved. 
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Ah thanks! I knew I knew the his name! I'm actually a bigger fan of his paintings--have you seen the Red Dragon (yes, I only became a fan of that painting by reading the book Red Dragon. But shh)
Thanks for all your wonderful comments I haven't commented on many of your stories (usually I only have time to read them) but I've read all of them in this contest. You're an extremely talented writer, and great competition You definately deserved the Gold on this one.
And yes, the no e's was terrible. I usually don't like writing in the present tense, but it was a necessity here
And not using "the" was killer.
Thanks again, and congrats on your success in the contests!
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upon the topic you chose, i perosnally am not impressed at all. you're unique and you can't go around chosing topics people have cliched. the war on iraq is like butter scraped too much over bread. as for the story, i think it's very emotional. i love the raw feelings put into this, it does give war a new meaning. that of suffering rather than destruction. its a very touchy topic, this war. very controversial and something that can't be won by either side.
i don't see a factor of your true writing spirit, your capabilities but it's nice work. good job.
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thanks for second place this contest was very exciting, even if i was a little late on some of my entries o_0. i do have to disagree with you on the content of my story though--you must not live in america, because there's no way five years of our soldier's dying is cliched. i dont agree with the war at all, and i'm sure some people have written stories that do put the cliche "war against terror we're rooting out all the bad people" spin on the story. but the topic of the war itself is not cliched.
anyways, thanks for all the awesome comments on my stories, the prompts were amazing and you did an excellent job judgign
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finally soemone that fights for their story. i suppose for Americans it's another story, and yes, i live half the way around the world.
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