Lullaby: Chapter 1

My thoughts are hazed. I have until tomorrow evening to write everything down. To tell you the truth about everything that's happened. You're too small to understand what's going on right now, for that I'm greatful. The world that you were born in won't be the same my dear. Truth will be covered with lies to protect the council, the order, and your generation. 1

The bloodshed seemed endless. Friend against friend. Brother against brother. Entire families were torn apart as they took sides, if I could of stopped it I gladly would of. But everything just happened in a blur. You see,your father and I broke a major rule. We got pregnant with you before marriage. That's one of the big rules here. You had to be matched by the council before you could have a child. I suppose that worked eons ago, but things were different then. We got caught up in the heat of the moment and one thing led to another and here you are. At least, I think that's what sparked the flame.2

Right now, you're in the care of your Aunt Gabby. She'll be the one taking care of you while I'm gone. Hopefully, that won't be too long. I love you my little one always remember that and that Your father and I are always with you..3

The papers, what few are left, are callling this the worst thing to ever happen. "The Revolt of Enternity" most are calling it. Making up whatever will sell. They are still buiring the dead. I can hear the mournful cries from my cell. Each one breaks my heart a little more knowing that someone has lost a person close to them. All my friends are gone. Banished from this place due to their loyalty to me and their willingness to challenge the status quo.I'm thankful they did what they could for us. For you. I wish your father could have seen you, but Michael,made an example of him for the others. 4

A knock caused the pen to stop and the materials to quickly disappear.The knock came again before the door opened. " Rose, dear, Are you alright?" came a soft voice. 5

Rose turned her eye widened at the beautiful figure in front of her. Miss Mary, her fourth grade teacher stood in the doorway. A sad smile spread on Rose's face. "Miss Mary, why are you here? You know that you could be taken in for being seen with a rebel."6

Mary just nodded, smiled and made her way into the small, bare room. "I got a special pass. I won't be able to stay long," She seated herself on the small bed. "They are wanting me to get a confession out of you. We're all hoping you'll lie." The last part came out as a whisper. Mary looks over at her former student, her brown eyes showing a hope that she would.7

Rose smiled and shook her head. "I'm going to tell the truth. I've all ready decided that. " She paused. "I'm sorry for putting you through this,Mary." Her voice took on a watery tone. 8

Mary rose, her light purple robe light dragging the floor as she moved close to Rose and gave her a hug. A tear escaped and silently rolled down her cheek. "It's alright dear,I know you'll do the right thing. You always have." she answered in a low whisper.9

Rose visibly relaxed for a moment. "Thank you, I desperately needed to hear that." 10

Mary smiled and made her way toward the door. "I'll come and see you tomorrow." Within the blink of an eye, the room was empty again. Mary had vanished into thin air. 11

The silence grew causing Rose's ears to begin ringing. After a moment, she rose from the small table she'd been seated at and moved to the small, twin bed. Stretching out, she stared up at the stone ceiling her mind completely numb.Slowly, her eyes began to droop as exhaustion over took her.12

Her mind begin to play the past. Quick flashes passed behind her lids of the many people she'd known and lost, as her breathing slowed so did the flashes until they settled on one that made a tiny smile appear on her face. The image was of a face with long dark hair, calm blue eyes, and a joyful smile. The words came as a soft caress across her mind. "I'll love you beyond enternity Rose, I'll never leave your side." 13

Those were the last words he'd said before he was banished. 14

Lucifer, her beloved, and the first to fall.

Author notes

Because of You- Celine Doin. Cause it describes my and my boyfriend's relationship.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 21 of 21

  • GrimDeath
    October 23
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    A beautiful yet sad story. The words flow togeather so wonderfully. I loved every word. Great Job!


  • Xm
    October 22

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, she fell in love with the Devil and had a baby with him...This sounds really confusing to me. I'll check out if you have posted any new chapters, this sounds like a really great story to me.


  • dreaminwriter
    October 21

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    i loved it! really well written, maybe in need of a little editing but nothing horrendous i really enjoyed reading this- have you posted anymore chapters?


  • Frozen Angel
    August 13

    Edit | Reply
    This had really good descripton and I like the overall style of this story, everything was fantastic.

    Good luck in my contest and thank you for entering.

    *Frozen Angel*


  • VanillaLace6661
    July 8

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    Nice! Descriptions were fantastic, and Rose was likable (not all self-pitying like many characters tend to get) and relistic. Very interesting overall idea.

    Nice work!
    Thanks for entering!


  • Tiger-Lily gold member
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is a saddening story, very beautifully written...

    The ending is sad, and yet very good too. Love the wording used here and how you've structured it

    -HT


  • Effrontery.
    July 4
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    This was rather captivating, but your tenses and how you structured this really confused me.. The plot sounds interesting, but I'm not sure I was struck by this. Your writing was just slightly awkward with some grammar and spelling issues. Nothing major, really, I just found you to have an odd way of structuring.

    Thanks for entering and good luck!


  • Adelaide Blood
    July 4

    Edit | Reply
    deep, meaningful, amazing, and stuck with me... if I didn't have so many more entries to read, I would read on, but alas I do have more,though this was meaningful to me!

  • sassykitty gold member
    June 22

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea behind this - how such a character could be more rounded and not simply one dimensional. The fact that Lucifer is capable of love is intruging and emphasises the light that he represented before the fall. Overall your piece is very well written, the descriptive details are highly evocative and I could really empathise with Rose and the sadness she feels from being parted from Lucifer. Nice variety of sentence openings and length for effect. This is well crafted and highly enjoyable; if it is part of a longer piece then I would like to know what happens next. Thanks for sharing and entering into the competition. Good luck and please let me know if there is any more.


  • Missi
    June 21
    Edit | Reply
    You did NOT write what section YOU CHOSE!

    Automatic DQ!


  • AllOuta
    May 27

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    The main plot to this is very intriguing and I am desperate for more. Though it didn't hold to the rules of the contest, I think that in time-- when fleshed out-- it could. I hope to read more soon.

    Thanks for entering.


  • moonwriter
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I like this story. The idea is original and the words seem to flow. I loved how you used a letter to open. The use of the letter established emotion and character relations early on.

    . Rewarded 4


  • Oh Spoons
    April 7

    Edit | Reply
    I like this piece, the whole story has a niece feel and flow to it.

    The use of language is simple, short and tip top. The dialog has a nice snap to it.

    All the best.

    jsdk

    . Rewarded 4

  • TheRedPen
    April 5

    Edit | Reply
    I liked it nice ending, It reminded mee a bit of a book calleed A Handmainds Talee by Mary Attwood. A real good book samee kind of religous undertones kinda.


  • RegalAngel
    April 3
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    so sweet! i love it! <3


  • XxTattered WingsxX gold member
    April 3

    Edit | Reply
    I love the opening as well. The writing to a small child, her child. I thought that was a wonderful way to start. I love that you chose to use the name Lucifer. Also, the time period in which you seemed to choose for the setting fits together nicely as well. Your imagery is just beautiful. Not only that, but the dialog was wonderful as well. I think you have a wonderful start and you could go anywhere you chose with this. Wonderful, wonderful job hun. =]

  • thanhbluu
    April 2

    Edit | Reply
    I like the opening very much where friend against friend and the world torn apart, sound like there is a war going on and Rose parents have to leave her for her Aunt to take care of her. The ending is very good too where Lucifer is gone and Love is torn apart between Rose and Lucifer. I hope there is a setting in the story though like where it takes place. There isn't much description about characters too.

  • Decadent Anomaly
    March 31

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    Very descriptive and well written. I like the angle you approached with. Lucifer being Rose's love. I have used him myself in a story...fun character to use, very flexible.

    In the beginning there are a few spelling mistakes which do not at all take from the story. They just bug me because I'm a spelling Nazi *grins*

    Overall this is something that is very creative and imaginative. I will definitely be following this story as it unfolds. When reading this story you get the feeling there was thought put into it. I hate a story that feels...rushed. As if the author got an inkling of an idea then packed it with fluff, just to get it out there. This is not, by any means, one of those.

    Brilliantly done!


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    March 26

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    Good job, Babe. I like where you took it, thanks for taking the initative. I suppose I'll get around to getting my part done eventually, lol. Still, good job. cause I can.


  • MoonRoseWolf gold member
    March 23
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    Oh! I loved this so much!

    There was the odd typo, such as 'of' in the second paragraph instead of 'have', but nothing major that distracts from the story.

    I especially like the beginning bit, I don't know why, but it kind of reminded me of 'V for Vendetta' a little bit. Which is a good thing, I promise you

    This was a very imaginative use of the prompt, I liked the fact you thought about it rather than just using the picture literally, as a lot of people have.

    I would have maybe liked a bit more explanation as to who Rose was in the second part, but of course, I don't know if you've explained more in your next chapter, so I won't consider it too important

    Overall, this was a brilliantly written idea, with a very effective use of the prompts, and I really enjoyed reading it.

    Well done, and good luck in my contest!

    ~Mirry xx

    P.S. Good song chices!


  • MoonRoseWolf gold member
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    No,no, its not too late. Okay, here are your prompts....

    this...http://alyn.deviantart.com/art/Archangel-s-Anger-5001425

    and...

    this...'Chasing Pavements' by Adele

    Enjoy!

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