One Foot In The Grave - Part Nine

The room was filled with an unbearable silence. Footsteps thumped near me and Jake grasped my arm gently to help me up. I flinched away and lifted myself up to my feet, using the collar of my shirt to wipe away the blood that was slowly trickling down my face. My arms ached horribly where Conor’s hands had gripped them, bruises already engraving themselves into the flesh in angry, black and blue ovals. 1

“What the fuck was that?!” Jake asked, his eyes wide, torn somewhere between shock, concern and anger. 2

I smiled weakly, “That, Jake, was a mission accomplished.”3

Turning slowly, I slipped out of the room unnoticed, slinking back to my block between the chaotic rushes of guards heading down the hall, infirmary workers running by carrying stretchers. I eyed them carefully for a moment before trudging back to my block, barely able to suppress the grin threatening to spread itself across my face.4

My body ached, but that didn’t matter. My spine felt crooked, like someone had tried to twist it into a spiral of nerves and vertebrae, but it didn’t mean anything. I could withstand it. I knew that going into the room. With my cast, I could have easily broken my nose. But I didn’t want it to turn into a brawl. I just wanted to get under his skin. I wanted to let him know that no matter what he did, I would still be able to bounce back, relatively unharmed. 5

I stepped into my room, Maegan was in one on one, and so I would be able to have some alone time. I sprawled out on my bed with a soft groan, the pain in my back intensifying for the few moments following. My eyes fluttered closed and I laced my fingers together, resting them on my stomach. It was nearly impossible to yank the smile off of my face and at least pretend to look serious. But I managed it.6

… The room was blue with smoke, air thick and claustrophobic, but I somehow managed to giggle freely and lean back against the purple wall. My knee, which had been resting comfortably on the floor, the sole of my foot resting against the center of my other thigh, was now jerking up and down, bouncing off of the floor and into the air like a rubber ball. Primus played softly in the background, the bass line beating against the inside of my head both rhythmically and sporadically. 7

I smelled burning leaves, face crinkled into the center, teeth bared to the gums, jaw agape with the corners twisted at a grin. My eyes were squinted and small, gasping breaths left my mouth, my only expression of laughter.8

Escapism at its finest.9

Sage and Nikki sat on the bed with me, Sage’s lips were curled around the pipe, and her rainbow streaked hair falling into her face limply. Nikki’s back was against the wall at the end of the bed, trying to hold my knee down, shaking in laughter.10

“For your first time, you’re taking it pretty well.” He breathed out between the same, gasping laughter that I had been letting out.11

Once the pipe was cashed, we all just sat around, listening to the music, not speaking. I kept my thoughts focused on the bass line, following it up and down the scales inside my head, repeating the rhythms inside my head over and over again until I realized that I’d blocked out the changes in their notes and had to start from the beginning. 12

Suddenly, a question popped into my head and I snapped my gaze over to Nikki, fixing him in my eyes intently. “Do you think I’m pretty?”13

He didn’t look over at me right away, but slowly, his head lolled over to the side and gave me a once over. “Yeah.”14

“Really?”15

Nikki nodded, his shaggy blonde hair falling into his eyes.16

Grinning softly, I leaned over and kissed him.17

That little experience ended with me, sweaty and slightly red faced, curling myself into a ball beside him, face pillowed onto his naked chest. 18

Stupid.19

I know.20

It wasn’t the first time that something like that had happened, and it wasn’t the last either…21

I snapped out of it when the door closed and Maegan walked in. My eyes opened slowly and I watched her walk over to her bed and sprawl out onto it. “How’d one on one go?”22

She shrugged, “Same shit we talk about every time I go there. Anything interesting happen while I was gone?”23

“Not really. Just kind of hung out here, did some of my reading for English. Other than that, nothing special.” It felt bad hiding this from her, but I honestly didn’t think that anyone should know. At least not right then. 24

“Did you hear about Conor?”25

My vision immediately grew sharper, zeroing in on her intently. “What about Conor?”26

She shrugged, “The guards found him in the bathroom. He bashed his head on the sink or something… anyway, he’s in the infirmary.”27

“When did this happen?” I asked, saving face quickly.28

“Earlier today. Not long ago, I don’t think. I saw them carrying him down on a stretcher on my way back.”29

My mind reeled for a moment and I fought to keep a straight face. I fought to keep all possible emotion out of my eyes and to keep my body lax. The grip of my fingers tightened against each other tightened for a moment and I relaxed them as quickly as I could. When I finally got my body under control, I forced a small roll of my eyes and muttered “dumbass.”30