I cheat at spin-the-bottle,
The secret's in the wrist-
I aim it 'round the circle
At girls who've ne'er been kissed.1
Sometimes I get a Ginger one
A bespeckled, freckled Scot.
And sometimes I choose pigtails
Those I like a lot.2
Mouths that barely tremble
Unopened rosebud lips
My bottle is my wine flask
and from girls' lips, I sip.3
I come and go from town to town
Parties, 'mitzvahs, balls;
And I play spin-the-bottle
With girls who've got the gall.4
So be careful, pretty lasses
Watch out, well mannered dames.
In case you yourself get kissed
By one who knows the game.
Author notes
If you don't like this..................... something is wrong with you. And that's that.
Question- should I replace "rosebud" with "poesy?" I like to say poesy. Poesy poesy poesy.
A contest entry
- Poetry and short stories by UnEdibleChick.
315 points, ended April 8, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poetry!!!! by Shadowed Phoenix.
900 points, ended June 5, 2008, 64 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Hit me up.
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Hah!
Prefer pigtails over bespeckled Scots, do you. (What is "bespeckled" anyway, someone got specks of dirt over them or am I just dense?)
Nice simple poem, seems familiar somehow. Good to know there's nothing wrong with your ego, and that your opinions carry so much weight (OK, I'm teasing!) -
This was pretty good. It had a light hearted sound to it that made it easy to read. I think rosebud is fine in the poem. The in the poem is a little weird to go around to kiss girls in spin-the-bottle. Happy I never played that game. Either way thank you for entering my contst and good luck.
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Damn! Are you a player or something? Well anyway, you have some skill...pretty awesome poem.
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This had me smiling throughout the entire thing. Your beat is perfect, and the voice used to convey the story is absolutely perfect.
Little cheat. I wish I could cheat at spin the bottle.. Rewarded 4
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This guy in your poem is very creepy, moving around to kiss girls... it was funny though
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Lol, this had me smiling. Evil sneak, isn't he?
Very cute and witty! I love how the simple game has been "transformed", lol.
Keep writing.
Tiger-Lily
. Rewarded 4
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Very cute
I liked the witty style of the poem. I never thought that there might be someone out there practiced at art of spin the bottle. Nice twist.
. Rewarded 4
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Oh, yea......
I read this a little while ago, but I kinda forgot to comment.
Anyway, I love it. It's so funny, and that's a really creepy guy. -
lol that was good
but i must say i like poesy better ^^ -
I smiled....
...all the way through this....I like the word 'poesy' also, but rosebud may have been more expressive...this is delightful and worthy of an award, I hope it snags one, but if not, I offer three lil funny faces in compensation...
thank you...
amicus...
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Thank you very much! I keep flip flopping between rosebud and poesy. Or it might be posey. I should look that up. Thank you for reading, amigo!
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This is....ok I guess. Thanks for entering. I have alot of entries i the contest. Keep up the good work.
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Mwah ha ha ha
"And I play spin-the-bottle
With girls who've got the gall."
how about "I play the game of spin-and-win" Or something... you know... better than that
But call it by a different name... that fits... better?
But I like girls with gall. Fabulous.
Rosebud's good.
I do think this is marvelous... spin-the-bottle has always scared me, and this makes me even more cautious... there's a serial spinner out there...
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You know, I do kind of like "I play the game of spin and win..." it's clever. HMMMmmmMMmm...
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That was very nice. The meter gets a little odd at time, but I just love it so damned much I don't care much.
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Yeah, the meter is a little funny; it's the "gall" line... I'm tryihg to work it out. I'm glad you liked it! yay!
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I absolutely love it, no seriously, I do.
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Thanks boo! ^_^ I love Shell Silverstein
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Hmmm, interesting piece. different idea, I've never seen anything much like this one. Good job though. It was well writting, and sparked my interesting. Also, I couldn't see any errors (grammar or otherwise). Nice,nice, and nice.
KEEP.WRITING.
-Melli<33 =D
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