Dr. Neil Harris had been shocked when he read the newspaper article concerning the suicide of Michelle Baine. Since her death came the morning after a Michelle called the show, the name sparked a memory making him feel disgusted with himself. He also felt a pang of guilt that stayed with him through four hours of catering to the mostly manufactured complaints of his wealthy patients.1
He managed to cut his usual fifty-minute appointments to forty-five without attracting any rancor for the shortened sessions. Having strung together twenty extra minutes in his busy schedule, he combined them with a skipped lunch and settled at his desk before noon. His monitor was soon flashing the news’ stories and he honed in on ‘Young woman found dead in Westside apartment identified as Michelle Blaine…’2
Following the reporter’s progression of events backwards, Neil was immersed in tales of other recent New York suicides when his secretary interrupted to inform him, today's last appointment had arrived.3
Dr. Harris spent his full fifty minutes with the young professional, who assured him nearly all the males were harassing her in her firm, because none of them was her equal. Now and then she resorted to quiet tears to further impress the doctor of her abuse.4
Neil was sympathetic and tried to remain attentive but the story of Michelle keep invading his mind. It stayed with him when he tried for his usual late afternoon nap. He didn’t sleep a wink. 5
So he had unburdened his soul to Joe Farley. Neil spent the remainder of his time in a pleasant climate, comfortable in familiar surroundings.6
Then as he left Mallory’s pub and started for the station, the memory of Michelle rejoined him.7
The girl needed help and he had known it. Helping tormented minds was what he’d been trained to do. However, the station policy was to refer such callers to the Crisis Line. “Damn it!” The heel of his right palm hit the steering wheel. She had called him…not some poorly trained volunteer. 8
He swung the BMW into his parking space at the rear of the studio. Of the night crew only Mark Gheil’s space was closer to the entrance. Neil acknowledged the security guard’s “Evening Doc,” and moved down the carpeted hallway to the producer’s office.9
The door was ajar and he pushed it open.10
Mark Gheil was edging into the middle of his thirtieth year of life. The cherry wood desk he was parked behind camouflaged part of a two-hundred-pound hard body, distributed on a six-three frame. His mahogany hair was extra rich in copper so it glittered in the overhead light. “Neil?” He made it a question as he glanced up.11
“Got a minute, Mark?” Neil stepped rapidly into the room. His five foot ten body preferred to have Mark remain seated.12
“Five minutes is about all we got.”13
“I’ll make it quick.” Neil leaned on the desk, his face stiff, his brown eyes gone black with growing anger. “A girl called the other night. Michelle Baine. We pawned her off to the Crisis Center. She killed herself.” His tone reflected his bitterness. “Committed suicide that morning. I should have talked with her…”14
“Hold on,” Mark snapped. “I already heard. Now listen to me. There’s no connection with the show. It’s got to stay that way. Damn it. We don’t need that kind of publicity.” 15
“Publicity? Christ! A girl is dead.”16
“Just you wait!” Mark rose quickly to confront Neil. “ We got trouble enough. Your show isn’t exactly a headliner. Connelly would like an excuse to replace you with another generic talk show.”17
Neil pushed back from the desk to step back stiffly. His features seemed to dissolve in disbelief. “Connelly offered me this show. I didn’t come looking for it.”18
“That’s the boss.” Mark slumped back down in his chair. “He comes up with ideas, but somebody else has to make them profitable. So give me a break Neil. I’m juggling three shows, trying to keep everyone happy.” He finger combed his thick hair. “The girl’s suicide is a tragedy. Still, tying her to the show could open up the station to a potential lawsuit.”19
Neil sat on the edge of the desk. His anger faded and his eyes couldn’t hold Mark’s stare as he said, “There is more than just one.” 20
“What?” 21
“I’m fairly certain there’s been a few others in the past several months.”22
Mark’s tanned face seemed to gray as he sharply said, “You’re wrong—you have to be wrong.”23
“After Michelle’s death, I started remembering. There were a few others who might have called the program. I wasn’t sure so I went online. I only had first names but I did find six suicides. I discussed it with a detective friend of mine…”24
“You did what?” Mark was on his feet again. 25
“Don’t flip. Joe will be discreet. I’ll tell him to try and keep my name and the show out of it.”26
“In what universe? If he finds the slightest hint of a connection between any death and our show, it’ll go in his reports.” Mark never hid angry well. 27
Neil knew his producer was royally pissed at him. He made a quick excuse, “It’s getting late,” and a fast exit.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Great
Trying to do something good is next to impossible, always someones toes out there ready to be stepped on.Law is like medicine a lot of things ever get told.
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Hmm?
I try to do good most the time, but I like to write horror and crime stories. I think that's good too.
How do you like our cast of characters, so far?
Andy
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okay,things are progressing at an even clip. The writing is still holding my interest and so i shall continue.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks Miss Beach!
Geri is very good at spinning a yarn. A lot of the time I feel that I do more watching than writing.
Meet you at the next comment
.
Andy
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Okay, wasn't sure what this acomplished, just to show us more of Neil's character - which is prolly a good thing, if he's gonna be a main character.
I like the length of your chapters, not too long and not too short. Kept me hooked.
Well done.
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Yes,
Neil is one of the major characters. Most of the chapters are around a 1,000 - 1,500 words. I keep saying it, but glad you're sticking with it. Thanks for the applause.
Andy
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Something about angry bosses is always amusing.
I did find myself wondering why you had gone back in time a pace, though. In the last scene, Neil already knew about the suicides and had told Joe, and now you're telling us how he spent his time digging though files. Doesn't flow quite right, in my head - I actually wonder if you need half so much of the first part of this as you have. Just a thought... 
Also, didn't he tell Joe that he had checked call logs to confirm first names? But here says it was all memory? Or is my own memory going...(I'm too young for Alzheimers... ). Anyways, not a whole lot new in this chapter except for the angry producer, but still very well written. I can't wait to see how they solve this. 
Notes:
* Para 2: Hm...I don't like the second sentence in this paragraph... I don't know if it's disorganized or something else, though. *laughs*
* Para 4: Oy vey, commas...hm, I think you need a comma after "backwards" but don't need one after "suicides," and I think the comma after "inform him" should be taken out and replaced with "that" - what do you think? Also, I think it should be "today's last appointment."
* Para 5: "none of them WERE," since them is plural. Do you mean "impress" instead of "impresses"? Also, you don't usually "impress abuse," do you? Maybe something like "impress the state of her abuse on the doctor." Which reminds me - doctor doesn't need to be capitalized unless you're using it as a direct title - thus Doctor Neil, or just the doctor.
* Para 7: The second sentence here isn't actually a sentence - it's a fragment.
* Para 9: I think you need to capitalize the word "the" in "The heel of his right palm."
* Para 10: Here's what I think: Neil acknowledged the security guard's, "Evening, doc," and moved down the carpeted hallway..." What do you think?
* Para 12: No need for the comma just before "camouflaged" and "two-hundred-pound" should be hyphenated, like so.
* Para 15: The sentence starting with "his face stiff" is actually a fragment - I think you could tack it onto the end of the previous sentence with no harm incurred. And I wonder if "the next morning" would sound better than "that morning" - course, that could just be personal preference.
* Para 16: A comma instead of a period after "Hold on" please.
* Para 20: Well, "jiggling" works, but I can't help but wonder if you actually meant "juggling." *laughs*
* Para 29: Try a comma instead of a period after "getting late."
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Thanks
Thanks again for the corrections and suggestions and thanks for continuing to read our story. I hope you are enjoying it. Looks like I have a bunch of editing to do. Well, I'll get started on it tonight.
Andy -
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Definitely enjoying it!
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I really got into this I will have to read the others to get caught up - murder and mystery seem to be your thing. I enjoy them also. Isn't it strange that we can write about them but do not even think of commiting them....... Just a thought to ponder lmao
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Thanks
This begins with a prologue and you can access it by clicking the list at the bottom of the story. Geri and I are finishing chapter six now. I'll probably be working on chapter seven today.
Actually committing murder seems like it would be a messy, nasty affair
, but it is fun to write about. There would also probably be unfortunate consequences
. Thanks for all the applause.
Andy
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Another great chapter you have here. Poor Neil, man he really had to make a fast exit there. I can't wait to see how this all turns out.
~Joann
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Thanks Joann
Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I'm glad you like this story. As you know it is a collaboration. Neil, we hope, will prevail.
Andy
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Well told as always...
I truly wish I enjoyed the genre as you have a definite skill and talent for weaving a story and holding the readers interest. But murder/mystery just ain't my thing, so I return the favor and keep trying to do more than just scan your story to fulfill an obligation.
Although, being an old radio guy, this does somewhat peak my interest and perhaps I will find myself hooked on this story.
Thanks again for all...
amicus....
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Thanks Amicus
I hope you are feeling well. Good to have you back.
Secret Radio Murders is definitely a murder story. If you don't like that sort of story, I wouldn't try to force you to read it. You don't have an obligation to read it.
However, I really appreciate that you are trying to read this story.
Andy
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I'm really excited about this. It's very well done and flows nicely again. A great addition to your others
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Thanks Fizbop
Glad you like how it is going. Both Geri and I have coughs, and it has slowed us down a bit. Thanks for reading, commenting, and all the applause. I appreciate it as always.
Andy
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