The Last Dance1
The dark, decisive night sent shivers up my spine 2
The evil, dauntless, almost took this hardened heart of mine 3
And I bedecked in finest garb to prowl about the night4
My bowler hat atop my head, my milky face alight5
The road was rough and never clear, I slowly made my way 6
And there in moonlight caught my eye, a thing so lost by day7
Bathed in waning silver, it possessed a haunting guise8
A triple storied mansion, I could scarce believe my eyes9
The windows glowed with yellow light, a most surprising leer10
It’s aura draped in ebony how scarce it did appear11
My body harkens “enter in”, my mind it holds me back12
But soon my heart gladly gave the courage I did lack13
My feet step softly on the stones, as I approach the door14
I feel this putrid feeling that I’ve never felt before15
The knocker cold within my hand, I slam it up and down16
It swings open and I beheld a specter with a frown17
“Cone in, come in.” he says with haste. “I pray thee sit thee down.”18
“The other guests will be here soon, so please do stay around.”19
The ballroom floor so clean and clear, as if a sheet of glass 20
It brought back distant memories, from my very distant past21
Oh, I recall my younger days, when I was just a lad 22
When I had not a care at all, for oh what fun I had23
I a boy of noble blood, what glory I beheld24
And over years of solitude my mind began to meld25
But I’ve no time to reminisce, for now the guest arrive26
They all seem most peculiar, and no one seems alive27
There’s Napoleon of Bonaparte, and there is Genghis Kahn28
And the re is Jack the Ripper with the rest of Satan’s spawn29
“And now!” The ghostly butler cries. “Your hostess for tonight.”30
“She’s the temptress of desire and the seductress of delight.”31
And to the stairway went my gaze, to see who would appear32
My senses rose to listen, my ears they strained to hear33
Down the stair steps came her scent, of jasmine and fine rouge34
And I the somber gentleman, the gallery was lewd35
Her figure but a shadow, against the fading light36
So peaceful was her presence, this lady of the night37
Her skin was pallid, almost white, but reddened were her lips38
Her leather belt caressed her waist, and fell about her hips39
Her dress was like a second skin, of black and bloody red40
Her sad, seductive, sea blue eyes, were anything but dead41
I felt a bold ness in my chest, as I approached this rose 42
This mystifying creature with hair as black as crows43
A hint of lightning kissed the air, as if some warm romance44
And with a cool demeanor, I said, “May I have this dance?”45
I held aloft my humble hand, she clasped it firm in hers46
I had never felt this peaceful, I had never been this sure47
And all my doubts soon emptied, from this hollowed heart of mine48
For I felt such conviction, whilst our fingers were entwined49
We twirled around the ballroom, like a flower in the breeze50
“Give me now your name my love. Tell me truly please.”51
She smiled without an answer, and danced with dives and dips52
My noble mouth fell bodily upon her fervent lips53
We held the kiss for minutes, but instead it seemed like hours54
Like some enchanting romance it was sweet and never sour55
But like so many memories, soon it was replaced56
By a cold manifestation, of blood upon her face57
“My precious love you’re bleeding, tell me are you hurt?”58
And then my eyes glance downward at the blood upon my shirt59
“My dearest love, my handsome prince, do not fear I’m fine.”60
“For the blood upon my face, is only yours not mine!”61
I staggered to the window, hoping for a breath62
“If I don’t stop the bleeding, I soon will catch my death.”63
I see the specter hazily; I implore him to explain64
I can barely hear his voice, wincing from the pain65
“My friend you seem a tad confused so let me light your way.”66
“If all you seek is answers, you will hear now what I say.”67
“You danced with death, you held her hand, you kissed her with affection.”68
“But in these several mindless acts, you have achieved perfection.”69
“The cares of life have left you; at last you are at ease.”70
“You have no one left to care for; you have no one left to please.”71
“In this your darkest hour, at last you are made whole.”72
“You’ll never think of pain again, your body’s left your soul.”73
I looked into and oval mirror: I’m pale as a sheet74
This night of timeless passion, its reward is bittersweet75
My crimson stream of life blood, is extinguished in my hands76
My cotton gloves ablaze whit color, red as desert sand.77
And now my eyes are opened, I now accept my fate78
My purpose was to perish, so I have no cause to hate79
And now I must remain here, at the age of twenty-four80
And my visions of the sun die out; I’ll see it nevermore81
I turn to death, and we lock eyes, and softly she does call82
“Of all the corpses in here, you’re the noblest of them all.”83
“Stay with me, we shan’t grow old, nor will our spirits die.”84
“You’ll find that when you’ve perished, that you just feel so alive!”85
And so upon the dance floor, our figures twist and twirl86
I quiver not a muscle with this deadliest of girls87
I shall remain immortal, for now and all of time88
I shall stay here with my love, this gentle rose of mine.89
So if you have some notion, of coming out to meet me. 90
Walk to the door, and simply knock and I shall gladly greet thee.91
But if the thought of death escapes you, or cringes you in fright. 92
Then please take heed, and keep away, and don’t walk toward the lights93
Author notes
Hoy, its not pre-written I just submitted it in two places.
A contest entry
- Poetry!!!! Poetry!!! Poetry!!!! by LadyLionnir.
400 points, ended March 21, 2008, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Oh So Twisted... by Naive..
425 points, ended July 15, 2008, 56 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
What does my writing lack?
Comments
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O.O I'm in awe. This is amazing. I can't believe that you made this rhyme perfectly while still telling a wonderful story with a powerful conclusion. =D This is one of the best entries in my contest, if not the best so far.
The only thing I would suggest is reading over this. For example, in line 29, there is a space in the word "there" that isn't needed. There were just a few very small mistakes like that.
Thanks for entering and good luck!
-jj

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"don't walk towards the light..."
Brilliant! Amazing, Rafeil. Creepy and beautiful with the dance of death.
The tempting death idea sounds a bit suicidal, but i liked how she "tempted" him.
Noble guy, ain't he?
Beautiful Work, Rafeil.
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Your writing definitely doesn't lack anything, hon. It's honestly one of the fluent, most beautiful tales told by poetry I have read on here. I love you words and how they all don't seem forced or rough. I...wow, you deserve to be on the finalists list. Keep writing-in you I see a poet. Thank you for enterng my contest and good luck!!


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WOW... YOU WERE RIGHT...it was right uo my ally..and far beyond..jesus I havent seen such poetic talent In a while...




