Broken Hearts and Their Laughter


                                                        Broken Hearts and Their Laughter 1

There she was, just walking down the hallway as if nothing else had happened between us. I gritted my teeth in anger as she let out a little laugh. Damn her for making me fall for her, then pretending nothing had happened. It’s been almost a whole year from our first meeting and her mistaking me for a girl. 2

“Katie, wait up!” Someone else yelled, I turned my gaze to the boy who ran up to her. She greeted him with a sparkling smile and I found myself ready to leap out and beat the boy into a bloody pulp. 3

“Hey John.” There was that grin again, I tore at my hair and I almost threw a tantrum right then and there. Except, she couldn’t see me, I was hidden in a small alcove leading to the computer lab. 4

I spun around, not wanting to see her smile and play along with that guy. Did she even have a heart? But, today just wasn’t my day, I bumped into someone and they just so happened to yell my name out. 5

“Mike, dude! I haven’t seen you around! Track is starting up and we need our sprinter—“ If he continued to talk, I didn’t hear. All of my attention was focused on the girl who had turned her head my way. She had apparently stopped talking to John and was now staring at me. I could feel my face flare up like one of those annoying red stop-signs. That was the last I saw of her today. Everywhere I looked, she was missing. She used to be everywhere I was. I guess I’d gotten so used to “my little shadow” that I didn’t notice her slowly slip away. 6

7

The days passed and the only glimpse I got of Katie was when she was speeding down the hallway chatting with her friends. Slowly my life slipped back to normal—no, it was never normal, now that she was out of it. Katie was the person who defined my “normal”, normal with her consisted of her throwing an orange at me and cackling as she slid across the hallway on pieces of bread. Not ignoring me in every class and in the hallway. 8

Though reality had just set in earlier, coincidently when I was sitting in front of my computer waiting for her to return my emails or send me one of the annoying ones she used to send. But nothing, there was no new messages from her, zero. The reality was I had lost someone I had almost considered a friend, because I was too blind to see that total opposites needed each other.9

But, I guess I did screw this up. I had called her some pretty mean things and just left her as I went back to my group of friends. I left her standing there in the rain with a large cake upside down on the ground. If tears streaked down her face, I didn’t see them because I was too preoccupied to get back to my friends and the dry house in front of me. The truth is Katie had been such a big part of my life that I could never see it with out her. I never knew she could leave it as easily as she entered it.10

So, although my brain was telling me that I was stupid, I jogged all the way to the park. I knew that she was always there bouncing the soccer ball up and down, rain or shine. It was one of those crappy days outside, the kind that makes you want to just crawl under a rock and wish for the clouds to go away, but Katie always said this was the best weather. The sweet scent of the earth seemed to mingle with the cold wind that blew across the Great Lakes. Even the muddy and musty smell from the sidewalk just added to the beauty. 11

There she was, with the muddy silver ball bouncing in front of her. She took a step back and kicked the ball against the wall; a loud resounding smack was accompanied by the ball hitting the wall. My legs took me closer to her and she glanced up. It was hard not to hear me, I was wheezing and my feet were loudly slapping the ground.12

“What do you want Mike?” She growled at me, her attention went back to the spinning ball.13

“I came here to talk.” Katie snorted, and it was the only sound besides the constant rhythm of the ball against the wall. “I-I wanted to say I’m sorry.” I managed to mumble out.14

There was silence, she had trapped the ball and just looked at me. But that look made me feel like she had trapped me and not just the ball. “Good, people like you just don’t understand how people like me think.” Venom dripped from every inch of her words. “Isn’t that right?” I winced, she had just thrown back my words right at me, and they hurt. 15

“Why?” I was mumbling again.16

“You wouldn’t understand.” There she was, hissing at me with that look I had never seen on her face. The look of utter loathing and lividness, that look shook my core. Katie just wasn’t, wasn’t made for that face. She was build for laughing and grinning, for joking and loving. People like me bore that face, but for her, it was merely a burden she could cast off. 17

“Then make me.” My voice is quieter, but steely. “This isn’t you. Back then, you would – you would have never run away, you would have never quit, you would have stayed and finished the battle. Small things like this never toppled you.” Words I had never practiced flew out of my mouth, all the time I had spent in front of the mirror went to waste as I said things I never knew I could put into words. 18

“I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have told you to get lost and that we,” I stopped; my heart began to pound as I tried to continue, “-we aren’t meant to hang out together. But, I thought things would be fine. Stupid as I am,” I weakly chuckled, “I thought that we would still be friends.”19

Katie looked up, her eyes were slowly brimming with tears. Tears that I had never seen in her eyes were there. Her poker face had fallen to the ground and shattered into millions of pieces. “That hurt like hell Mike. I thought that maybe if I could tone things down, maybe act like other people like you, then maybe you wouldn’t be so upset about me being there. That maybe I was holding you back and, I guess reality hit home when you said those words.” She took a deep breath, “When I saw you, I knew you were different. You didn’t harbor the same wildness that I did, you seemed to tone it down and be with it. I envied you for that. And I wanted to be by a person who could take everything in and not be shaken by it.”20

“Damn.” I cursed, my eyes falling to my shoes, and they seemed to interesting in a time like this. “I wanted to be like YOU! You had so much freedom. I was stuck running on the ground, stuck with responsibilities I couldn’t do and rules I had to follow. But you, you, overcame everything and flew! Katie, you took your anger and hate and turned it into something more real.”21

I guess it was the right thing to do, but I just grabbed her. The soccer ball rolled away un-noticed as we met in the middle. It happens in a blur. I grabbed her shoulders and pulled them hard, and kissed. Hungrily, with the intensity of too many moments lost. Passionately, with the knowledge of too many tears cried. Forcefully, with the regret of too much unnecessary pain. I kissed her, just kissed her, and she kisses me back, and I tasted her, oranges, and tears, and in that one moment, everything is perfect.22

I pulled away, breathless. She stares at me, lips swollen. “Damn you Katie. Screw the way the world works, screw society, as long as you don’t ever make me feel like I’m so horrible, I promise to never be such an idiot.” Katie laughed, the friendly laugh made me feel all warm inside. So warm, because I had helped those laughs come.23

“It’s a little late to stop acting like an idiot, but I guess you’ll have to work on it.” She joked. Before I could stop myself, I had leaned in for another kiss. I grinned before I met her lips with my own. ‘Who gives a damn who sees us.’ And at that moment, I felt like a rebel with a cause. And she was it. 24

Perhaps the reason why I had come back for another kiss was just how she tasted, or maybe it was the way her hands seem to effortlessly slip into my hair. I stopped thinking as the heat seemed to sear all of my conscious thoughts. But I just did, now that I really think about it, maybe because it was instinct. And thank God it was. 25

 26

The End 27

Author notes

Not too much overloaded mush here.

Katie/Mike from Allowing Idiots to Reproduce and Good King Wenceslas. Ah, I need some romance for the two. I guess it was a dare because everyone says people who are too opposite won't end up togther. Maybe, they're so different, that they are almost the same!

Don't mind the love-doveyness. I'll get back to writing my evil, fighting crime stories soon. I needed a break and I had pictured the best kissing scene. So, here is my best attempt to write some romance. A whole fifteen minutes was put into this!

Urp, sorry for some of the total fluff.

1. I do belive in love at first sight. It hardly happens but it's there.

I will edit this soon enough! Feel free to point things out and yell at me! *No guarantees I won't yell back*

DEDICATED: My cousin Lauren! (I almost spelled her name wrong!) She helped me through the worst writer's blocks and with my horrible stories! Superman by Ryan Shupe and the Rubber Band rocks!

Edited - 3/19/08
Edited - 5/6/08

[Two stories down below are also with my characters]

Allowing Idiots to Reproduce - http://storywrite.com/story/138088

Good King Wenceslas - http://storywrite.com/story/show/147916

http://storywrite.com/story/168442 <- Tracing Hearts

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Comments

1 - 29 of 29

  • Lady Editor
    October 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this piece. It was steamy in all the right places, and I could imagine almost all of it. Well done indeed!

    I esp. liked near the end, when he kisses her and everything. The passion is SO real. SO wonderful.

    Again, well done.

    I wish you all the best in future writerly endeavors,

    Lady Editor

    CRIT:
    It’s been almost a whole year from our first meeting and her mistaking me for a girl. [How did she mistake him for a girl?]

    “Katie, wait up!” Someone else yelled, I turned my gaze to the boy who ran up to her. [“Katie, wait up!” someone yelled. REASON: Someone isn't him, so it's obviously someone else.]

    “Hey John.” There was that grin again, I tore at my hair and I almost threw a tantrum right then and there. [Period after "grin again."]

    But, today just wasn’t my day, I bumped into someone and they just so happened to yell my name out. [But today just wasn't my day]

    “Mike, dude! I haven’t seen you around! Track is starting up and we need our sprinter—“ If he continued to talk, I didn’t hear. [Turn the quotes after "sprinter" around]

    That was the last I saw of her today. [That was the last I saw of her that day. REASON: Today implies he's speaking in present tense. How is he to know?]

    I guess I’d gotten so used to “my little shadow” that I didn’t notice her slowly slip away. [Would explain what you mean by "my little shadow"]

    The days passed and the only glimpse I got of Katie was when she was speeding down the hallway chatting with her friends. [Only one glimpse? Does she hardly use the hall?]

    Slowly my life slipped back to normal—no, it was never normal, now that she was out of it. [Well, it either is or it isn't, right?]

    Katie was the person who defined my “normal”, normal with her consisted of her throwing an orange at me and cackling as she slid across the hallway on pieces of bread. [who defined my "normal"; with her, normal consisted of]

    Though reality had just set in earlier, coincidently when I was sitting in front of my computer waiting for her to return my emails or send me one of the annoying ones she used to send. [When had reality set in? When is it that he was sitting in front of the computer?]

    But nothing, there was no new messages from her, zero. [But there were no new messages from her.]

    But, I guess I did screw this up. [But I guess I did screw this up.]

    I had called her some pretty mean things and just left her as I went back to my group of friends. [When had this been?]

    If tears streaked down her face, I didn’t see them because I was too preoccupied to get back to my friends and the dry house in front of me. [too preoccupied with getting back]

    The truth is Katie had been such a big part of my life that I could never see it with out her. [The truth is that Katie had been such a big part of my life that I couldn't imagine having lived without her.]

    There she was, with the muddy silver ball bouncing in front of her. She took a step back and kicked the ball against the wall; a loud resounding smack was accompanied by the ball hitting the wall. [What wall? Only one wall there? ; I would also reword the first sentence of this paragraph.]

    “What do you want Mike?” ["What do you want, Mike?"]

    There was silence, she had trapped the ball and just looked at me. [There was silence. She had trapped the ball beneath her foot and stood there, looking at me.]

    “Good, people like you just don’t understand how people like me think.” Venom dripped from every inch of her words. “Isn’t that right?” I winced, she had just thrown back my words right at me, and they hurt. [I would indicate earlier that these were the words he said to her, perhaps in the paragraph that mentions him going back to his friends. Also: she had just thrown my words right back at me]

    The look of utter loathing and lividness, that look shook my core. [no comma before "that"; you may use a comma before the word "which" if you choose to substitute it]

    Katie just wasn’t, wasn’t made for that face. [Katie just wasn't...wasn't made for that face.]

    She was build for laughing and grinning, for joking and loving. [built for]

    People like me bore that face, but for her, it was merely a burden she could cast off. [Oh, she can cast it off, but he can't?]

    [Somehow combine 18 and 19, since only one person is speaking.]

    “I know it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have told you to get lost and that we,” I stopped; my heart began to pound as I tried to continue, “-we aren’t meant to hang out together. But, I thought things would be fine. Stupid as I am,” I weakly chuckled, “I thought that we would still be friends.” [I stopped as my heart ; But I thought things would ebe fine]

    Tears that I had never seen in her eyes were there. [I would get rid of this sentence.]

    “That hurt like hell Mike. [comma before Mike]

    That maybe I was holding you back and, [comma before and not after] I guess reality

    “Damn.” I cursed, my eyes falling to my shoes, and they seemed to interesting in a time like this. ["Damn!"]

    “Katie, you took your anger and hate and turned it into something more real.” [turned it into something real]

    The soccer ball rolled away un-noticed as we met in the middle. [You didn't notice, yet you did.]

    It happens in a blur. [happened]

    I grabbed her shoulders and pulled them hard, and kissed. [Kissed her shoulders?]

    I tasted her, oranges, and tears, and in that one moment, everything is perfect. ["tasted" so "was perfect"]

    She stares at me, lips swollen. [stared]

    “Damn you Katie. [Damn you, Katie!]

    Screw the way the world works, screw society, [Screw the way the world works! Screw society!]

    as long as you don’t ever make me feel like I’m so horrible, I promise to never be such an idiot.” [As long as]

    Katie laughed, the friendly laugh made me feel all warm inside. [Oh, there's a laugh called the friendly laugh, eh?]

    ‘Who gives a damn who sees us.’ [double quotes instead of single]

    • Star Story
      October 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! Also, thank you (times one million) for helping me catch my mistakes. I'll try and fix them sometime soon.

      Cheers,

      Simply

  • quicksilver moon
    September 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    For something written in fifteen minutes this is reallly good . I liked the idea of the story. Sometimes the one who acts as the shadow is also your best friend and secret strength. I am glad Mike noticed how important the girl was to him. Cute story

  • StreetRoller
    August 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    From fun to love. Two differnt people really can be togather. I like the way you think. goob job! I love it!

  • VanillaLace6661
    July 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very sweet story. I liked the characters, and I liked the believability of the story. The characters were just like people you could meet in your everyday life, which I like a lot.

    Thank you so much for entering!

  • Glow in The Dark
    June 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I really liked this story. I could fel the love between them, I just wanted a bit more description with what he did to make them break up. But. overall, this was a great story. Good luck!

  • xMoonlightxDreamsx
    May 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Awww, very sweet. I loved this sentence: "I guess I’d gotten so used to “my little shadow” that I didn’t notice her slowly slip away. " it was just so emotional and held a lot of imagery and made the reader connect to the character. Good luck in the contest!

  • beezy92
    March 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    It was a little Lovey Dovey....it was sweet though. I enjoyed reading it (=


  • moon dust
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    And you were trying to tell me you can't write romance! I loved this. Honestly. I'm a big romantic (since romance is all I can write) and this was amazing. I loved it soo much. It was cute, and amazing!


    Brilliant.
    You should write more romance more often!

    erica[♥]xoxo

    • Star Story
      March 21, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      This was my only pathetic attempt. Thank goodness it didn't come out too corny.

      Thank you! This was my first real romance scene. I'm a big girl now!

      I'll try to! *sits in front of computer and tries to write*

      -CC

  • Autumn.Rain
    March 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Lisa, dear!! Holy cow that was amazing!! THAT WAS AWESOME!! I LOVE IT!!

    A few problems I found:

    In Paragraph 2: I think you should change "pretend" to "pretending".
    In Paragraph 4: "Threw" instead of "through". "There" instead of "their.
    In Paragraph 6: You said "light up" to describe his face turning red. I think you should find a different way to express his embarrassment because "light up" has a positive connotation and that's a kind of disappointing, sad, paragraph. "Flare up" would be a more appropriate choice.
    In Paragraph 8: It should be like this = "-no, it was never normal, now that she was out of it." Just put those commas in there.
    In Paragraph 20, you switched tenses a lot... It's kind of confusing.

    Love you with an insane fiery passion,
    Maureen

    • Star Story
      March 19, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! I changed most of it and tried to fix up paragraph 20. A lot of people mentioned the tenses part... Thanks for correcting my other mistakes!

      First kissing story! Oh my lord! I'm so mature now!

      • Autumn.Rain
        March 19, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Oh-ho, Lisa, you rebel, you!! Haha. That was a preeetty good kissing scene, my girl. You sure you haven't been PRACTICING?! Hahaha I'm kidding!!! I love you - virgin or not!!

        Love you more,
        Maureen


  • EphemeralStyle
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was cute ^^

    The occasional spelling/grammar mistake and sometimes the tense switched from past to present, but meh.

    It wasn't too lame or anything; the emotion was just right. Awesome write, my friend.....

    Eph

    • Star Story
      March 17, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.

      I know there are some mistakes, I'm a little slow on updating!

      Yes! It wasn't corny! Whoot!

  • dustbunni3
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I LOVED THIS!!! I will definitely read more

    • Star Story
      March 16, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you! There are links in the author's notes to the other parts.

  • Holey Pastry
    March 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh...forgot these...

  • Holey Pastry
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Aww!

    Oh my god! I LOVED this one...you have no idea...

    In the beginning I almost cried...(maybe because I have a boyfriend...I don't know) Yeah, I'm a wimp... Yay for happy love endings!

    I love these two...and am so glad you finally wrote something that showed they liked each other.

    Some "itches" as you call them I think...you switched from past to present occasionally. But that's about it...that I noticed that is...

    To me?! Really???? Thanks! I'll treasure it forever haha. I love that band! Even Superman....lalalala...now I have to go listen to it...

    <3 H.P.

    • Star Story
      March 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Yeah! Thanks! I really really wanted to write something with some kissing. ;D

      Ohh, thanks for pointing that out! I shall change some of it in the future!

      This is all for you, my trusty cousin!

      By the way, got the gift in the mail! Now I must go and buy BOOKS! Hahahahah!


  • Lover of Stories
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this. ^^ This is my favorite story about Mike and Katie...good job! They're really interesting characters, and I'm glad that they're more of friends now. Keep writing!!!

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