Query Letter

Dear Ms. Whichcraft,1

Enclosed is my story, "Sea Lily", (15,700 words). It is about a young girl who gets pulled into the sea through her backyard pond, where she meets a mermaid. They gather two more companions as they search for a healing flower that will save the mermaid's people. Along the way they run into obstacles, such as a large squid who's made a sunken ship its home. This is for readers ages 8-14.2

I am a full time mother of three and write in my spare time for my children. As of now I have not been published, but have a short story featured on the Ezine 'Mirror Dance Fantasy', www.mirrordancefantasy.blogspot.com:80/. You are the first editor I am soliciting with this story, and will wait four months for your response before I approach another book publisher. If you are not interested in the story, feel free to dispose of the manuscript, but please notify me with the enclosed SASE either way.3

Thank you for considering "Sea Lily." I look forward to hearing from you.4

Sincerely,5

Brooke A.B.6

Encl: Story, "Sea Lily"7

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  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    March 12

    Edit | Reply
    Ok, I think you've got me sold - now I'm going to have to go find your story and read it for myself! I think you've done a good job of pointing out some of the quirks and magic of the book without beleaguring it to the point that the publisher knows the whole story. And you did it concisely, which is ever and always my downfall! *laughs* Only one typo I found: "a sunken ship it's home" contains the wrong its/it's. Best of luck in the contest!

    Oh, and are you actually sending this out? *looks at you curiously*


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      March 13
      Edit | Reply
      Yes I do want to send this out. And I have sent it out once. But this was before I had been featured on the zine. I did change some other things.

      Thanks for reading and I changed that little error.
      Brooke


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    March 12

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    That is a very professional letter as it tells me all the details I need to know about your story. I would be interested in reading further and would be tempted to take things further with this. The story seems similar to the movie Lady In the Water, which I loved. Your story would be enticing to young girls as everyone loves mermaids and I love the title. Thanks for entering.


    • SageSyren Greeters member
      March 12
      Edit | Reply
      I wrote Sea Lily before Lady in the Water was even out Btw I loved it too.
      Thanks for reading this.
      Brooke