Chapter One: Cherry Blossom Romance Forever

Chapter One: Cherry Blossom Romance Forever1

“Bingo!” said Tim as he stood before the judge. “That’s exactly what happened!” The judge had a queer look on his face as he contemplated the evidence. 2

“Guilty!” He decreed. 3

I bet you’re wondering what’s going on. Tim Brasting was a mild-mannered Road kill collector, and everything was going great in his life. He had a beautiful fiancée, a loving family, and great friends. Oh yeah, and did I mention he can turn people into tacos and has the uncanny ability to state the obvious at random?4

It all started when he and his dog were riding through the toxic waste dump. The place was so worn down there was no roof or walls. All that was left was the equipment and greasy floor tiles. It was in the middle of the forest, so eerie cliché forest trees loomed overhead. Tim ignored this fact as he had ridden here before. 5

Oh right, in order to picture this scene you may need to know what Tim Brasting looks like, don’t you? He is 6’4” with slick black hair of Irish decent. He is not a leprechaun, he is only ¼ Irish. The rest of him is German, Asian, and Native American. Don’t ask. He is not very muscular, although you could not call him scrawny. His wardrobe consists of t-shirts and blue jeans. He occasionally wears a baseball cap, but not very often. Today he was not.6

On this day his ride was unusually long. He had not been to this part of the plant before. Suddenly, he stopped. He saw something. It was glorious. It was sumptuous. It was magnificent. It was glowing a greenish glow. It was a donut. But not an ordinary donut. It was a radioactive donut. He did not know this obviously, for he ate it and gave some to his pet Dalmatian, Chihuahua. They promptly passed out.7

A few hours later they awoke. He himself felt normal, but he knew something was amiss when his dog looked at him, completely bald, and said “Yo quiero Taco Bell!” 8