Love's a Killer prt 1

He sat in the dark because the dark was comforting. The dark hid the shadows under his depthless brown eyes, hid the grimace that marred his too sensual mouth, hid just how much of the bottle he had already consumed. He sat in the dark because the dark was a known part of the equation, the dark may hold surprises but was never surprising it’s self. The dark was a place he understood. The dark was something he knew. And so he sat, drinking at the steady pace of a man doing his best to forget, in the dark of another late night at his kitchen table. 1

Usually his nights consisted of the mahogany stretch of Gill’s, a local dive that held decent booze and easy company. Most nights something fiery in a cool glass and something equally warming giggling on his arm was just what William McCullum preferred. But there were some nights where Will needed the silence and the dark. Those were the nights when he usually had been thinking of Her although he would never admit that’s what was on his mind; not even to himself would he admit it, not even in the dark. Will splashed some more Irish into the familiar glass while he sat, brooding with only the buzz of the refrigerator to keep him company. He pushed all thoughts of her tanned skin and her laughing honey colored eyes and the way her muscled legs would wrap around him when-2

“Corinne, stop it! Wait until I at least get us out of the hall!” 3

“Can’t help myself,” came the giggling reply. Will snapped out of the thoughts he wished he could stop and glared as the hallway light spilled into the apartment’s dim interior. He could hear his roommate, Jacob Kwon and his long time girlfriend, Corrine Pendler, play fighting as they came in. How the overly formal Japanese man ever unbent enough for the sweet redheaded landscaper was one of the few mysteries that Detective McCullum would never unravel. Corrine was a ball of energy that laughed continuously while Jake was laid back and reserved; the only other pair of people that were more at odds where Jake and himself. But the rent was cheap, the location perfect for all his needs, and as long as Will kept to himself then Jake did the same. “You’re way too cute! I can’t seem to stop all the naughty thoughts, which leads to naughty hands, which leads to-“ some intense kissing sounds as the door slams. 4

Will just sat there, glass in hand as he stared intently at the hallway. When the stumbled into view at least ten minutes later, he gave a barking laugh. “Nice panties, Princess. Knew I’d be seeing them sooner or later.” 5

Corrine squeaked as she dove around Jake pulling down her skirt while Will watched with one brow arched. Jake glared, trying to straighten his shirt with some dignity. “Did not think you to be at home,” he said formerly, a sure indication of just how embarrassed he was. 6

Will chuckled deep in his throat before taking a sip. “Yeah, well it’s a good thing that I’m the sleuth and you’re the teacher, huh? Cause if you missed all the clues that I was here, you’d never make a buck. Then again, if you were out on the street more often, I could take care of Princess Over Eager over there. You let me know if you wear him out, hey Cee? I’ll be around. Night,” Will said in a happy voice grabbed the bottle with one hand and the glass with the other before heading towards his room, ignoring the angry looks Jake was shooting him as he winked at the blushing Corrine. He shut the door with his foot, still chuckling. Jake and Corrine were so tightly interwoven that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other started, which made flirting with the young gardener even more fun. He plopped onto the unmade bed and stared at nothing as he sipped the whiskey. He didn’t really care how happy they were, love was fleeting and sooner or later they would crash, burn, and forget each other. Granted, Jake had been panting after Corrine for over a year, but that just meant that when it fell apart that it would really kill them both. Or at least kill the one that was left behind. 7

Not that he knew that kind of pain. 8

Will growled as he finished off the glass and poured some more. Stupid thoughts that served no purpose but to make him feel stupid, he thought while glaring at air. And William McCullum did not do stupid. He didn’t put up with stupid people, he didn’t bother to take the stupid jobs, and he certainly never let any long-legged chick with the perchance for changing her mind more often than the weather changed to-9

His phone rang, vibrating in his jeans. Will shook his head, silently telling who ever it was that he wasn’t interested. He was off the clock, and had no new cases that needed his delicate attention for at least three days. And a three day bender was starting to sound like a good idea. A three day bender was starting to sound like the best damned idea ever! Especially since when he did sleep lately it was invaded by eyes that were warm with-10

The phone vibrated again. Will sighed harshly, slamming the glass onto his bedside table that was littered with matchbooks, phone numbers and change. He pulled out the phone with the intent of tossing it over on that bit of laundry in the corner but he paused as he recognized the number. He stared at it, unable to make his hand work to shut off the phone. Or answer it. William McCullum, master of his own fate, was stuck with indecision for one of the few times in his life. It left a greasy, queasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that he would never admit to. Fortunately the decision was taken from him as the phone stopped twitching in his hand. Why would she be calling? What could she possibly want?11

“Why do I care?” he asked the empty room gruffly. Sabrina Robertson, she of the tanned skin and the honey eyes and the muscular legs. She who had tore away every wall Will ever had, dug into the silver sized soft parts of his heart, made him care and then walked away. Not once. Not twice. “Three fucking times!” He snorted. “Great, now I’m talking to myself.” He reached for his glass as the phone shivered in his hand. Frustration escaped as a harsh noise from his stony face. He didn’t want to talk to her. Their last conversation had been oh so pleasant and he wasn’t leaping at the chance to listen to her squabble over the ifs and maybes of their lost relationship. He looked at the id screen hesitantly and saw that it was his office instead. Not acknowledging that he was actually relieved, and disappointed, Will pushed up the slider with his thumb and barked into it his usual greeting. “You got McCullum, it better be good.” 12

“Is it ever when I call?” Anthony Besechetti asked with his normal happy go lucky tone bland. 13

Will sighed and took a large gulp, having the feeling he was going to need it. “Lemme have it.” 14

“Double homicide case. Only one suspect and the odds are stacked that the perp did it. Of course there are people who disagree. The family is desperate enough to offer twenty percent over our usual fee to jump on this. Which I love. But,” he hesitated.15

“That’s usually good news.” Will waited, but Tony didn’t say anything else. He ground his teeth impatiently, knowing that if Tony was squeamish to talk about what ever was stuck in his throat, then it was bad. Really bad. “Tony.” 16

“Mac, you should just walk away from this one.” Tony sighed and picked up his own glass inside the dim office, his socked feet on top of the pulled out file drawer. His partner wasn’t exactly as hard to read as he thought he was and Tony knew that they were going to take this case. It wouldn’t be for the money, though Will would swear it was. It would be because the accused last name was Roberston. It would be because William McCullum never walked away from a challenge. Tony actually smiled into the phone as he shifted, cradling the receiver between his shoulder and ear. The fastest way to make sure Will would take this case was to make it sound like it was something he shouldn’t do before he found out the reason why he shouldn’t. Tony wasn’t much of a matchmaker, nor did he want to be, but he missed the man Will had been when Brina had been around. And if she was desperate enough to call them for the case, then maybe…Just maybe. He grinned but then took a large swallow of his drink and coughed into his hand. “Look, I’m just going to tell her no, and we’ll forget the whole thing.”17

“Who?”18

“Well,” Tony drawled, not wanting to make it sound like he was playing his partner, which he was. Letting out a real sigh, Tony shifted through some paperwork. “It’s Tonya Robertson-St. James, Mac. She’s accused of shooting her husband and his newest girlfriend.” 19

Will closed his eyes. Tonya was Sabrina’s younger sister. It would be normal for Sabrina was calling him if they were still on speaking terms. Since they weren’t and he knew Sabrina would rather crawl into a pit full of poisonous snakes rather then ask him for favor, Will wasn’t standing on steady ground and that sat wrong with him. He had hooked up with Sabrina right after the wedding when they were both working opposing sides of the same case against Tonya’s now late husband’s shady business partner. Will had been hired to make sure that Gary Toudlete was cleared of all charges, and Sabrina’s boss was just as determined that he be held accountable. At the end of the case, Gary was in jail and Will was seeing Sabrina nearly every other night, which was more commitment then he had ever showed anyone before. Not that such sacrifices had done anything to stop her from leaving. 20

“Stop growling at me. I already told you I’m turning it down,” Tony said. 21

“I wasn’t growling. And we don’t turn down cases.” 22

Tony gave a disbelieving laugh that made Will wince. “Yes we do. All the time!” 23

He sighed. “Fine, we don’t turn down twenty extra percent. Look, you do most of the face to face on this one and I’ll do the leg work and things should be fine. When did it go down?” 24

“Why don’t you come down to the office and read the file in that anal way you have and then we’ll decide. It really looks like she did it, Mac. And from what I can tell, she had every reason in the world.” 25

“You condoning murder?” Will asked, a small smile tugging at one corner of his mouth. He took a sip and sighed.26

“Nope. But I also don’t like taking cases where I’m sure to lose. You coming?” 27

“Be there in thirty.” Will hung up and glared at the closet door. Sabrina.28

Damn the fucking luck.29

Author notes

Another thing that bit me. Sorry to CEM if the charrie hits a little to close to home. I LOVE YOU!

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Comments

1 - 14 of 14

  • TNTrouble gold member
    November 4

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    Ha...good job...loving how detailed this tis. I am quite taken with those who can paint such pictures with their writings.

  • atyla
    May 30
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    WOW

    this is really good. an't wait to read more


    • AllOuta
      June 2
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      You and me both. Muse is being a brat but I hope to get some more out. Thanks for the read!

  • That was a lot of back-story to take in at once. I'm afraid I just don't have the mental motivation to work it out right now. And then again its the same amount of stuff that these crime investigation shows throw at you, and I never understand them either!

    So, having dealt with that, we now move on to the good stuff. Like the fact that you have done an amazing job at showing the emotions and thought processes of your drunk main character, and the very smooth way in which you introduced Will's job. I got confused with the names a little; I only realized at the end that the girl he was lusting over was Sabrina and not Brina but again that's just me. The light humor sprinkled over this piece is also a very nice touch!

    The story has a very strong start and a clean ending to the chapter, and I was thoroughly enjoying the whole thing; it took me no effort to read it because it was so smoothly put together!

    I never want to end my comments with negative stuff, but this is only tiny: you have two typos . You've got a "the" instead of a "he" in paragraph 5 and...I can't even find the other one - shows you how pedantic I'm being!

    Anyway, its a great piece of work!

    . Rewarded 8


    • AllOuta
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      Oooh! Thanks for the catch! This isn't my normal genre but my fickle Muse wouldn't let of and I was scared if I didn't write it down, she might go pout. Hope to see your name is some other parts of my page!


  • xForever17
    April 1

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    Wow, wow, wow. That was a great story. I'll admit I wasn't very intrigued by the intro, and if it was someone besides myself, who'll read anything no matter what, you may have lost them. But I'm glad I did read it! I <3 mysteries, and this one is the perfect setting for a great one. Are you planning on writing more with it?

    . Rewarded 4


    • AllOuta
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      I am trying. I got a small part of the next scene of Will at his office. And I have some conversation between Sabrina and Will but need the time to flesh it out.


  • grey2dragon
    April 1

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    a few grammar and typo mistakes, but nothing major. you have a superb writing style and a great "voice". i think that the word "dark" is a bit repetitive, but i know it's to make a point, so i'm nitpicking. And i'm not sure, but is Will's ex dating his roommate? I read it quickly, so if I read it wrong, sorry. but if that's the case, why isn't he angrier?

    anyway, this was terrific. it's a great start and great characters. i enjoyed it and i'm gonna have to look for more of your work to read now!

    . Rewarded 8


    • AllOuta
      April 1
      Edit | Reply
      No that's not Will's ex. She's just the sweetheart of Will's roomie. Perhaps I should take another gander at that if there seems to be some confusion. Thanks for the read!

  • I love the voice of your characters as well as your imagery. It all fits together quite nicely. I see that you already have your own little editor, so I will stay out of that one all together. It is very well written. I don't believe that I could say that enough. I love your title. I really don't know what else to say besides the fact that I like it. Nice job. Really. I look forward to reading more.

    . Rewarded 8


    • AllOuta
      March 31
      Edit | Reply
      I'm glad you enjoyed it! I was hard pressed to pour this one out, the Muse just wouldn't let me go. And now that I have, I was able to get one more thing down and now the voice has left. Fickle brat!


  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    March 11

    Edit | Reply
    Every time I read your work, I am amazed with your narrative voice all over again! You always know what you're saying - or if you don't, you sure make it sound like you do. *laughs* This has a very strong sense of character, as well - not just Will, but Jake and Corrine and Tony, too. As always, I am impressed, and I really hope you take this further! Is another chapter pending...?

    A few things I noticed while reading:

    * That is one killer first paragraph, girl! Oh, except that "it's self" should be "itself"...

    * Para 4: "the thoughts he wish he could stop" - do you mean "wished he could stop" or is there something else that I missed here? Also, "He could here his roommate" - wrong here/hear, dear.

    * Para 9: "long-legged" should be hyphenated, I believe, since it's a single two-word adjective. And in "with the perchance for changing her mind" are you sure you don't mean "with a penchant for changing her mind"? Perchance makes me confused...admittedly, that's an easy task, but still... *grins*

    * Para 12: "as he phone shivered in his hand" - I'm assuming you mean "as the phone," yes?

    * Para 13: "Is it even when I call?" - *thinks* Did you mean ever instead of even? *thinks more*

    * Para 17: You switch perspectives here...I don't know if that's necessarily bad, but I thought I'd point it out anyways. Plus, "not did he want to be" should have the word "nor" instead of "not."


    • AllOuta
      March 13
      Edit | Reply
      Irish, if I ever get published I am requesting that you are my editor! Cause you bring corrections and praise in equal amounts! Thanks for the catches, got them all I think!

      As for more, I hope so. I am not good at the mystery stuff cause I never read it so this might flop but.. well.. maybe not!


      • IrishYndina Greeters member
        March 13
        Edit | Reply


        I'm glad you like my critique style. My philosophy is that people are more likely to swallow the vinegar if you mix it with sugar...

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