[ once appon a time there was...THE END (of my life)1 ]

once uppon a time there was...THE END (of my life)1

OK i'll admit that may be a little melodromatic, so i am not actually dead, my dad wants to move (again). OK people listen up cuz i am only going to say this once. My Dad is a serial mover, ever since mom died we have not stayed in the same house for more than about two months.i normaly don't have a problem with this, but thats because i normaly don't have anything to stay in a town for, i mean i kinda have antisocial behaviour (only because we move so often i kinda gave up on the whole 'friends' thing) so like i was saying is that well i normaly couldn't care less if we moved every second day. that is until i came to Harvy Bay (thats in Queensland, Australia)2

the main reason i don't want to move is, i actualy have a friend! his name is Sam and there is no way i am leaving Harvy Bay and Sam behind! i mean Harvy Bay is really pretty (not that i care about sceanary but hey i need an excuse). 3

sorry people, i have a habit of just jumping in and leaving all of the important/necessary stuff out, so it's like this, my family consists of; dad, tall dark hair thats starting to go grey (probably because of me) and myself, i have blond hair (no blond jokes please!) and my eyes are kinda a hybird of blue and grey i am definetly not tall for my age (people still mistake me for a child!). My life in a nut shell i was born on 17th of september 1993, my mom died when i was 3 so i don't really know her and i have lived in so many different towns that i have stoped counting.
being the only female in the family it is my responsibility to cook, clean, iron ect. not that i mind really it is kind of relaxing i mean no matter where i am there is still dishes to be cleaned. i am curently in grade 10 at Harvy Bay High School. thats pretty much it.4

i am so sorry peple that this is taking soo long but i basicaly can only wright in classes at school. sory 5

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1 - 6 of 6

  • Roe
    April 28, 2008
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    I really liked the 'seriel mover' description too. Little pieces of humor like that keep people's interest up. You had to have seen this one coming, but the grammar needs a little work, unless you really wanted it to read like a diary entry. Was this an intro for you into storywrite or is it fiction?
    Nice zebra, by the way.


  • Shah Z
    March 12, 2008

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    Nice, i like how you decribed it all. I'll look forward for the next one.

    And there are many friends to be found here, in a couple of months you'll find a permentant home here. Hitman


  • Vampiric souls
    March 11, 2008
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    nice, serial mover??? lol funny write more, I think that yo uhave established a good story line and hope to see more of this very soon


  • gerifitzsimmons Greeters member
    March 11, 2008

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    once (upon) a time there was...

    You have made a good start here, in that you have drawn the reader into the story. I’m curious about why they move so often; (mystery? Is daddy a Serial Killer, drug smuggler or terrorist?) and how the narrator plans to stop this particular move?

    Talent for creating situations that have the potential for some great action scenes show up in this small bit of writing.

    You will need to do some editing if this happens to be a story or novel you intend to offer for publication. In a manuscript I can only stand alone when capitalized. Watch out for missing apostrophe in contractions (that is—that’s).

    Welcome to SW I’m certain you’ll find a lot of friends here . If we can be of any help let us know.

    Geri

    • necessary evil
      March 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      thanks for your coment, i was thinking (mabey) about making the dad move so often because he is reminded too much of his late wife.

1 - 6 of 6