Kirby Felton put his copy of Richard Cory aside as he pondered the admired man, envisioning Cory’s imperially slim form. And he thought: whenever Kirby Felton went downtown…would anybody turn and look at him? He was always human when he talked, but no one listened; clean favored and quietly arrayed, but no one cared much. No pulses fluttered. Nothing glittered. Nothing happened at all.1
And he assailed the seasons, like Miniver Cheevy. And he thought of the time he sought out the Malamute Saloon…traveling all the way up to Whitehorse in the Yukon…and it wasn’t there. Not the real Malamute Saloon. They told him it was there…the real Malamute Saloon, but it wasn’t.2
It was merely the hotel coffee shop “and bar.” The girl on the phone didn’t understand what he meant by “real.” She didn’t even know what he meant by Malamute Saloon. She just knew the Whitehorse Hotel had a coffee shop and bar. And the bar part was called: The Malamute Saloon. So when he queried: “the real Malamute Saloon?” The girl said, “yes, of course.”3
And where was the goodly crowd to well nigh fill Joe’s Bar-room on the corner of the square? It was a balmy summer evening…but there was no one there; no songs or witty stories heard through the open door. Well, here’s luck, boys! And landlord, my very best to you!4
He checked the bottle of blue gin on his nightstand. It was pretty well "nigh" drained. Kirby picked up his note for the final touch. 5
“There is no joy in Mudville,” he scribed.6
“And when the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall the earth be salted? They prance about, wired to themselves, to other wires. They cell phone, they text, they pod, they cast. There is no waiting for the light. What light? 7
Everyone in their own separate pod, shut away, cozy as Sam McGee in the furnace roar of his crematorium. “‘It ain’t my style,’ cried Casey. ‘Strike one,’ the umpire said!” Well, strikes two and three for me! Enough,” wrote Kirby, “no one knows who Zero Mostel is. No one remembers Laura. No one recalls the great fuss over the Alexandria Quartet. Was it chamber music? And what of The Falcon? Bulldog Drummond? And Snooks? Who was Snooks? Causes of WWI? II? What happened in Spain?8
What had become of the mad dash through the gate, boarding pass in hand, hopping the flight, last-minute-like? Not so fast, buddy. Empty your pockets, take off your coat, lift up your shirt, take off your shoes, x-ray your bag…. Step over here.9
No one is innocent. How can they be when there is no longer innocence?10
So, it is over. No more joy in Mudville. Salt has lost its savor, and all that!11
Oh, by the way,12
My email password is STORMDOOR;13
My ATM PIN is: 6345014
My Lockbox combination is: 677-252-95615
My Security Code is HEMLOCK16
My Community Gate Code is 482017
My Citicorp PIN is 220218
My EAB PIN is 947619
My Mastercard Card key# is 78120
My Visacard key# is 04121
My Bank Security Code is 332-493-87522
My Vault # is 447323
My House phone# is 22224
My Mail Box # is 73625
My Mother’s maiden name is Green26
My SS# is 978-394-508327
My Car radio code is: 798728
My Glove compartment combination is: 385L-442R-223L29
My PC password is HICCUP30
My Checkcash PIN is 855531
My Moneymarket password is DOGPOND32
My Writer’s website password is CUPPHIC33
My Web Site password is DEEDLE34
My Car Door Combination is 595-67835
The number to regain entry to the lobby from the back is 1898-198836
The number to gain entry from the lobby to the back is 1988-189837
Good luck. 38
There are strange things done in the midnight sun.39
That would make your blood run cold.40
Kirby Felton”41
So he rested from his labors.42
And fell across his notice, dead.43
Author notes
There's nothing complicated or hidden in the Kirby Felton story. RICHARD CORY was the eponymous character in a poem whom everyone admired, led an exemplary life, but who one day simply killed himself. Of course, there is an allusion to that. Miniver Cheevy is another well known character by Edward Arlington Robinson who sat over booze all day and complained about his life...but who, more important, yearned for bygone eras...but did nothing about this, save to continue drinking. (Both of these are wonderful poems)
The recollection about Robert P. Service's Malamute Saloon (from the poem The Shooting of Dan McGrew) is a reference to today's world's ignorance and carelessness as concerns yesterday's world... resulting in MISINFORMATION and subsequent DISAPPOINTMENTS.
Joe's Bar Room is from The Face on the Bar Room Floor where a vagrant, a drinker, and generally a heartbroken, disappointed, man tells the "boys" his story, draws the face of his duplicitous lover on the bar room floor and then falls across it, dead.
"Mudville" is the name of the town in the poem Casey At the Bat...where, when the "mighty Casey" strikes out, because of his arrogance and conceit, there finally is NO JOY! There IS NO JOY IN MUDVILLE...because the MIGHTY CASEY HAS STRUCK OUT! (The town too was a bit haughty and overconfident, putting all their "money" and hopes on Casey!)
So, too, in this world, much of the "joy" is gone for some of us. And how do we live? What seems to comprise Kirby's life? Our lives?
Well, it seems nothing more than that which lay behind far too many pin codes, passwords, secrets words and numbers. (What are we keeping? What are we hiding? From whom?) And, in fact, it has become just that. In days of "yore" should one take it in mind to "shuffle off this mortal coil", the note would read: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! But now, today, it must consist of all the secret codes, passwords, pins, and combinations!
Some of the additional references I admit may have been cultural (Zero Mostel...a great wonderful and ground breaking comic and actor...but whom no one today seems to recall)
Laura, one of the great American mystery films of the forties which gave rise to the haunting song of the same name, (but which no one recalls)The Alexandria Quartet...an excellent group of books of great literary achievement by the great Lawrence Durrell written around the late fifties and now all but forgotten as was much of American radio, and the history of the great wars. And what does Kirby specifically remember fondly? He remembers carefree-running for a nearly missed flight...barely making it...hopping aboard in freedom, breathlessness in the joy and delight that WAS yesterday's innocence. No more. There is no JOY! So Kirby writes his note of numbers and passwords...and all the other BS...and falls across his floor...dead! End of piece. Finis! That's it!
Hope it helped. I realize there are some literary allusions and local references...but it wasn't ALL that complicated.
(Gary Alexander)
A contest entry
- Philosophise with em' due!!! by Unwelcome.
100 points, ended November 1, 7 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Let No Man Write My Epitaph
Was it Clifton Webb and Dana Andrews in Laura? Nicely done story. Wry, poignant and I found all the passwords,etc a hilarious comment on our evolutionary ascent (descent?). Used to be we learned to walk upright and passed from the scene. Then somebody used the same consonants and vowels to refer to himself or somebody else. Whither have we gone.
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Oh....wow, this story is powerful. I understand so much better small things about life I had never noticed before. The author notes really cleared a lot of things up for me. and I enjoyed this story. good job.
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Wow, Gary! I knew some of the allusions in this piece! Granted, I haven't read some of the pieces and therefore didn't recognize some of the references. But great job! Keep up the great work! -Liz
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some what confussed
I'm a bit confused but I think it is great to put together a montage of characters into one story.
I love the Richard Cory poem it remined me of my best friend who I thought had it all and then commited sucide with out a reason.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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Amazing. Simply amazing.
Keep on Writing the good Write!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Nice!
This was very impressive. 5/5!
Tori,
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Wow
This piece blew my mind. Ithink you're right, and I know that "Living in the now" has some, probably alot of merit, but not at the expense of history, wich has merit as well. Maybe more, since like you wrote,there is no innocence today.
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Okay... you got me hooked. I can see myself painstakingly working my way through all your stories on this site over the next few days / weeks. It's just so nice to read someone who not only knows how to spell words properly and where to put them in a sentence, but who also uses the kind of words that are worth spelling correctly in the first place. You have a wonderful way of getting straight into the reader's head by bypassing the brain and going straight for the mind (if that makes any sense at all!)
Got to be honest... my knowledge of American history / literature is about as extensive as my knowledge of boy bands of the eighties (i.e. not very), but with this piece, it was not necessary to know all about it... Felton's disillusion and disappointment with the world today come across nice and clear regardless. In fact, the AN's serve to highlight rather than explain. Although, being the kind of person who googled the lyrics to Billy Joel's 'We Didn't Start The Fire' in order to get all the references I'd never heard of, I can tell that I'm going to be reading this piece for much longer than anticipated!
Paragraph 9 has to be my favourite part, while "... they pod, they cast..." really floats my boat! (I'm a sucker for any well-thought-out play on words).
All in all, a great read, and the most well-spent thirty minutes I've had all week. Cheers.
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While I understood what Kirby was trying to convey [despite my utter lack of knowledge on American history and literature], the AN's helped plenty, so thank you.
It's true, though. It seems simpler times are dead and gone, and we're caught in a world of numerics, electronic devices, and where all we are is a statistic or bank account number. It is in the nature of humans to complicate things...
Another wonderfully written tale. The way you weave a message into each of your stories, be it directly or otherwise, always leaves me most impressed. I enjoyed every word.
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Hmm...I think you're one of my favorite authors on this site...right behind Valkyrie!!! Lol. At first, I was like, "WHAT? What am I supposed to read with all these password and jumble?" Then when I read your authors notes I was like, "Thanks Gary...again..." Lol. You have an oustanding writing ability and I think...maybe...I'll add you to my favorite authors list on my new profile that I'll post in the new WAYYY distant future.
THanks for commenting me this and I'm sure you're going to be perfectly happy with this comment...*evileyes* Aren't you? Lol. JK.
I love your work,
loney-angel
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Let me tick some boxes here!
Profound - check
Mocking - check
Sarcastic - check
Sad - check
Frightening - check
TRUE - double check
Yep! Everything is there in yet another story written to make the reader think. I noticed there have been a total of 63 views, but only 34 comments; perhaps the 29 vacant comments were from readers who couldn,t think?
For me, the story itself is, unfortunately, a true account of how the citizens of this world, particularly those in the so-called "civilized" world, have allowed each and every one of us to be documented, tabbed, labelled, bottled and shrink-wrapped into a 'commodity' as if we were offerings placed on a supermarket shelf.
The word "Trust" may as well be obliterated from the dictionary as it is very rarely used in the societies we have become.
The long list of PINs and security codes drives home the main theme of this story, but how many will listen or look out for the moral of the story?
As usual, the Master of Words has written a well thought out and formulated story, complete with meaning, message and moral.
Many thanks for making this public Gary; once again you have delivered with the finesse only a good wordsmith can apply.
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Hey Gary,
I remember most of the things you mentioned in this story. It certainly was less complicated before we lost our innocence.
Another great write by you as always. Steve
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mhh..
seems your authors note it longer that the acctual story.
haha.
anyways.
i liked it. -
Bravo! I really enjoyed reading this piece. It took me until about the end of the piece when you were about to proceed to list all of Kirby's codes that the meaning sunk in. How you presented the story to the reader was very well thought out. I also liked the character, especially how he spoke of today's life styles. This story kept my attention from beginning until end. Keep up the great work!
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I really enjoyed this piece, even though it's hard to explain why. I just felt like I was really in the character's head, which is a testament to your skill. The listing of all the codes was a great move, too. Something I never would have though of.
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I love this!!! It caught my attention from the very first sentence. Btw, I have been through Whitehorse, even stayed the night. I passed through on my way to Alaska (when I was moving here, obviously).
The only technical errors I caught might be paragraph formation. Other than that, VERY well done! Good job!!!
~Battie
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I have to admit, I was a bit confused with the storuy, but your authors note helped a ton. I think I enjoyed the authors note more than the actual story LOL Great write!
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Wow..this is really intresting. It caught me from the beginning and at first I was a little confused but when I read your A/N I was like 'Oh, okay.'
Great job on this story and good luck!
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I had an idea this would be about suicide, and this was satire so it made me interested. Who's Richard Cory? I thought
I was sympathizing with Kirby's rant. Though I didn't understand why you started revealing private details.
This was weird, but good satire with good references too. I don't know why Kirby added so much in his note, but I liked it. I might make it a finalist.
Good luck in the contest
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This was very well written, not quite what I was looking for, but I still liked it. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck. God Bless!
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Ooh, a bit of a cynical commentary on today's lifestyle, eh? I'm with you. I'd read most of the works you referenced, and enjoyed their application to the story. One of my favorite poems of all time when I was at school was The Shooting of Dan Mcgrew; it just had me spellbound. I think I was in fifth grade at the time.
The list of PINs and passwords was endless and terrifyingly realistic. Gah!
I think your poor man Kirby keeled over in protest. If he could have, I think he would have set those passwords around him in a circle and lit them on fire. A little death by immolation.
Overall, Woo Hoo! Another great write, and one of the more cerebral works I've seen from you, with all those references subtly woven into your tapestry of skulls and crossbones I see at the left margin there.
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im sorry. but maybe you could explain. this really doesnt seem to have much to do with my contest. i dont quite understand it either.
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Gary
I enjoyed this thoroughly and, while missing a fair number of your allusions prior to reading your notes, it still made a lot of sense and was contextualised to perfection. The style was pitched perfectly and the grammar and choice of words was not far behind.
A few minor bits and pieces:
para 1 - "human"... this is likely to be just me - but not sure what this means, or if it is clear. Am I missing something?
para 3 - "So when he said:" - quite proper, but I'm often not comfortable with "said" in the context of a question, or an affirmatory tone. This is ultra-pedantic on my part.
para 7 - see my end note about quotations.
para 8 - "‘It ain’t my style’, cried Casey" - I believe the comma should be before the inverted comma, not after.
regarding quotations. I suspect it is more to do with the formatting capabilities of this site, but it would have been fantastic to indent the long passages of quotations to assist the focus of the reader. Technically, a quote running over paragraphs requires beginning quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph - but that would have really messed up your listing at the close of the story.
I think your notes are good for this - but perhaps a little long? I got a lot out of your story without needing a lot of detail - this is in no way saying I didn't want or need your notes - just their length.
Well done... one of my favourites!
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I love the message in this. It's one that almost everyone can agree with, in my opinion. This whole world is goin' crazy and innocence is extremely rare. I'm extremely impressed by this piece and all of the references explained in your Author Notes. One day, I plan to know each and every one of them. =] Once again, you surprised me with your ability to write something that I have never seen before. Original should be your middle name. lol. =D Thanks for this entry that is not only twisted, but speaks volumes.
Good luck!
-jj
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I recognized a good deal of these allusions and must say this was truly deep. I did require the explanation a tad, and I appreciate that it was there. This was written in a complex-ish manner, and I approve of and appreciate it. It was a style wholly different from other entries I've been receiving. The messages was brilliant and I love how you did it through codes, numbers and passwords. I must say, I enjoyed the line with the mention of cell phone, text, pod, and cast. It was clever, and I appreciate this entry. (=
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
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Wow. Your author's notes were almost as long as your story. And the funny thing is, I got every one of your allusions - I have read each of those works. It's a very good story, especially for those who understand the comparisons. However, I fail to see the vindication - the righteous judgement, if you will - of the story. Maybe it's just my lack of sleep, maybe it's just my not-so-high intelligence. Maybe it's both. Anyway, thanks for entering the contest.
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Ahhhhh, I Get It Now
Yeah I was a tiny bit confused when I was reading, but your explanation helped. Good piece! I loved your allusions and word choice (though I seriously doubt you would have a problem with words) and it flowed great. So good job, and keep up the fantastic work!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Okay that was seeminly interesting; A.) because It was again like nothing I have ever read & b.) I admire the usage of so many references in such an artistic manner..
when I say I don't get humore, I don't understand or pick up on it easy ... So I apolige for that.
Blair
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Good! or maybe interesting would be more like it. But it left me wanting.
beginning: 2, language: 3, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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I like what Tizriz said down there, "...your Author's notes. They almost retell the story in an idiot proof manner." While I didn't understand where some of the allusions were coming from, I was still able to comprehend their relation to the story and character.
Things have become too complicated in this world (even though I haven't witnessed much of earlier times lol).
Thanks for another story, Gary.
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