Kirby Felton put his copy of Richard Cory aside as he pondered the admired man, envisioning Cory’s imperially slim form. And he thought: whenever Kirby Felton went downtown…would anybody turn and look at him? He was always human when he talked, but no one listened; clean favored and quietly arrayed, but no one cared much. No pulses fluttered. Nothing glittered. Nothing happened at all.1
And he assailed the seasons, like Miniver Cheevy. And he thought of the time he sought out the Malamute Saloon…traveling all the way up to Whitehorse in the Yukon…and it wasn’t there. Not the real Malamute Saloon. They told him it was there…the real Malamute Saloon, but it wasn’t.2
It was merely the hotel coffee shop “and bar.” The girl on the phone didn’t understand what he meant by “real.” She didn’t even know what he meant by Malamute Saloon. She just knew the Whitehorse Hotel had a coffee shop and bar. And the bar part was called: The Malamute Saloon. So when he queried: “the real Malamute Saloon?” The girl said, “yes, of course.”3
And where was the goodly crowd to well nigh fill Joe’s Bar-room on the corner of the square? It was a balmy summer evening…but there was no one there; no songs or witty stories heard through the open door. Well, here’s luck, boys! And landlord, my very best to you!4
He checked the bottle of blue gin on his nightstand. It was pretty well "nigh" drained. Kirby picked up his note for the final touch. 5
“There is no joy in Mudville,” he scribed.6
“And when the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall the earth be salted? They prance about, wired to themselves, to other wires. They cell phone, they text, they pod, they cast. There is no waiting for the light. What light? 7
Everyone in their own separate pod, shut away, cozy as Sam McGee in the furnace roar of his crematorium. “‘It ain’t my style,’ cried Casey. ‘Strike one,’ the umpire said!” Well, strikes two and three for me! Enough,” wrote Kirby, “no one knows who Zero Mostel is. No one remembers Laura. No one recalls the great fuss over the Alexandria Quartet. Was it chamber music? And what of The Falcon? Bulldog Drummond? And Snooks? Who was Snooks? Causes of WWI? II? What happened in Spain?8
What had become of the mad dash through the gate, boarding pass in hand, hopping the flight, last-minute-like? Not so fast, buddy. Empty your pockets, take off your coat, lift up your shirt, take off your shoes, x-ray your bag…. Step over here.9
No one is innocent. How can they be when there is no longer innocence?10
So, it is over. No more joy in Mudville. Salt has lost its savor, and all that!11
Oh, by the way,12
My email password is STORMDOOR;13
My ATM PIN is: 6345014
My Lockbox combination is: 677-252-95615
My Security Code is HEMLOCK16
My Community Gate Code is 482017
My Citicorp PIN is 220218
My EAB PIN is 947619
My Mastercard Card key# is 78120
My Visacard key# is 04121
My Bank Security Code is 332-493-87522
My Vault # is 447323
My House phone# is 22224
My Mail Box # is 73625
My Mother’s maiden name is Green26
My SS# is 978-394-508327
My Car radio code is: 798728
My Glove compartment combination is: 385L-442R-223L29
My PC password is HICCUP30
My Checkcash PIN is 855531
My Moneymarket password is DOGPOND32
My Writer’s website password is CUPPHIC33
My Web Site password is DEEDLE34
My Car Door Combination is 595-67835
The number to regain entry to the lobby from the back is 1898-198836
The number to gain entry from the lobby to the back is 1988-189837
Good luck. 38
There are strange things done in the midnight sun.39
That would make your blood run cold.40
Kirby Felton”41
So he rested from his labors.42
And fell across his notice, dead.43
Author notes
There's nothing complicated or hidden in the Kirby Felton story. RICHARD CORY was the eponymous character in a poem whom everyone admired, led an exemplary life, but who one day simply killed himself. Of course, there is an allusion to that. Miniver Cheevy is another well known character by Edward Arlington Robinson who sat over booze all day and complained about his life...but who, more important, yearned for bygone eras...but did nothing about this, save to continue drinking. (Both of these are wonderful poems)
The recollection about Robert P. Service's Malamute Saloon (from the poem The Shooting of Dan McGrew) is a reference to today's world's ignorance and carelessness as concerns yesterday's world... resulting in MISINFORMATION and subsequent DISAPPOINTMENTS.
Joe's Bar Room is from The Face on the Bar Room Floor where a vagrant, a drinker, and generally a heartbroken, disappointed, man tells the "boys" his story, draws the face of his duplicitous lover on the bar room floor and then falls across it, dead.
"Mudville" is the name of the town in the poem Casey At the Bat...where, when the "mighty Casey" strikes out, because of his arrogance and conceit, there finally is NO JOY! There IS NO JOY IN MUDVILLE...because the MIGHTY CASEY HAS STRUCK OUT! (The town too was a bit haughty and overconfident, putting all their "money" on Casey!)
So, too, in this world, much of the "joy" is gone for some of us. And how do we live? What seems to comprise Kirby's life? Our lives?
Well, it seems nothing more than that which lay behind far too many pin codes, passwords, and secrets words and numbers. (What are we keeping? What are we hiding? From whom?) And, in fact, it has become just that. In days of "yore" should one take it in mind to "shuffle off this mortal coil", the note would read: GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD! But now, today, it must consist of all the secret codes, passwords, pins, and combinations!
Some of the additional references I admit may have been cultural (Zero Mostel...a great wonderful and ground breaking comic and actor...but whom no one today seems to recall)
I READ YOUR RULES.
Laura, one of the great American mystery films of the forties which gave rise to the haunting song of the same name, (but which no one recalls)The Alexandria Quartet...an excellent group of books of great literary achievement by the great Lawrence Durrell written around the late fifties and now all but forgotten as was much of American radio, and the history of the great wars. And what does Kirby specifically remember fondly? He remembers carefree-running for a nearly missed flight...barely making it...hopping aboard in freedom, breathlessness in the joy and delight that WAS yesterday's innocence. No more. There is no JOY! So Kirby writes his note of numbers and passwords...and all the other BS...and falls across his floor...dead! End of piece. Finis! That's it!
Hope it helped. I realize there are some literary allusions and local references...but it wasn't ALL that complicated.
A contest entry
- Imagination by MidniteRockers.
370 points, ends December 6, 113 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Life is just a series of let downs. by brittany.geeze.
100 points, ends December 4, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - Short and Bitter by Xm.
152 points, ends December 3, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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You haven't read the rules BtW
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I had an idea this would be about suicide, and this was satire so it made me interested. Who's Richard Cory? I thought
I was sympathizing with Kirby's rant. Though I didn't understand why you started revealing private details.
This was weird, but good satire with good references too. I don't know why Kirby added so much in his note, but I liked it. I might make it a finalist.
Good luck in the contest
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This was very well written, not quite what I was looking for, but I still liked it. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck. God Bless!
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Ooh, a bit of a cynical commentary on today's lifestyle, eh? I'm with you. I'd read most of the works you referenced, and enjoyed their application to the story. One of my favorite poems of all time when I was at school was The Shooting of Dan Mcgrew; it just had me spellbound. I think I was in fifth grade at the time.
The list of PINs and passwords was endless and terrifyingly realistic. Gah!
I think your poor man Kirby keeled over in protest. If he could have, I think he would have set those passwords around him in a circle and lit them on fire. A little death by immolation.
Overall, Woo Hoo! Another great write, and one of the more cerebral works I've seen from you, with all those references subtly woven into your tapestry of skulls and crossbones I see at the left margin there.
. Rewarded 8
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im sorry. but maybe you could explain. this really doesnt seem to have much to do with my contest. i dont quite understand it either.
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Gary
I enjoyed this thoroughly and, while missing a fair number of your allusions prior to reading your notes, it still made a lot of sense and was contextualised to perfection. The style was pitched perfectly and the grammar and choice of words was not far behind.
A few minor bits and pieces:
para 1 - "human"... this is likely to be just me - but not sure what this means, or if it is clear. Am I missing something?
para 3 - "So when he said:" - quite proper, but I'm often not comfortable with "said" in the context of a question, or an affirmatory tone. This is ultra-pedantic on my part.
para 7 - see my end note about quotations.
para 8 - "‘It ain’t my style’, cried Casey" - I believe the comma should be before the inverted comma, not after.
regarding quotations. I suspect it is more to do with the formatting capabilities of this site, but it would have been fantastic to indent the long passages of quotations to assist the focus of the reader. Technically, a quote running over paragraphs requires beginning quotation marks at the beginning of each paragraph - but that would have really messed up your listing at the close of the story.
I think your notes are good for this - but perhaps a little long? I got a lot out of your story without needing a lot of detail - this is in no way saying I didn't want or need your notes - just their length.
Well done... one of my favourites!
. Rewarded 8
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I love the message in this. It's one that almost everyone can agree with, in my opinion. This whole world is goin' crazy and innocence is extremely rare. I'm extremely impressed by this piece and all of the references explained in your Author Notes. One day, I plan to know each and every one of them. =] Once again, you surprised me with your ability to write something that I have never seen before. Original should be your middle name. lol. =D Thanks for this entry that is not only twisted, but speaks volumes.
Good luck!
-jj
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I recognized a good deal of these allusions and must say this was truly deep. I did require the explanation a tad, and I appreciate that it was there. This was written in a complex-ish manner, and I approve of and appreciate it. It was a style wholly different from other entries I've been receiving. The messages was brilliant and I love how you did it through codes, numbers and passwords. I must say, I enjoyed the line with the mention of cell phone, text, pod, and cast. It was clever, and I appreciate this entry. (=
Thanks for entering, and good luck!
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Wow. Your author's notes were almost as long as your story. And the funny thing is, I got every one of your allusions - I have read each of those works. It's a very good story, especially for those who understand the comparisons. However, I fail to see the vindication - the righteous judgement, if you will - of the story. Maybe it's just my lack of sleep, maybe it's just my not-so-high intelligence. Maybe it's both. Anyway, thanks for entering the contest.
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Ahhhhh, I Get It Now
Yeah I was a tiny bit confused when I was reading, but your explanation helped. Good piece! I loved your allusions and word choice (though I seriously doubt you would have a problem with words) and it flowed great. So good job, and keep up the fantastic work!
. Rewarded 6
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Okay that was seeminly interesting; A.) because It was again like nothing I have ever read & b.) I admire the usage of so many references in such an artistic manner..
when I say I don't get humore, I don't understand or pick up on it easy ... So I apolige for that.
Blair
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Good! or maybe interesting would be more like it. But it left me wanting.
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I like what Tizriz said down there, "...your Author's notes. They almost retell the story in an idiot proof manner." While I didn't understand where some of the allusions were coming from, I was still able to comprehend their relation to the story and character.
Things have become too complicated in this world (even though I haven't witnessed much of earlier times lol).
Thanks for another story, Gary.
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Your authors notes almost a re-telling of the story for those who could not grasp it the first time around. I figured it out while reading the story, and read the AN to reasure myself. This was very good, a little un-nerving for some reason. Another wonderful peice, not like anything else I've read on this site.
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Is a sharp-minded author such as yourself going to cry over unspilled milk? I read your piece in an ominous rush to the bank before closing time. My sicknote should state that I intended to read and comment tonight. But...as I have no posting address, I cannot send you one. My apologies my friend.
I'm impressed with your Author Notes. They almost re-tell the story in an idiot proof manner. I remember when I first studied Shakespeare, I found the post writings more informative than the actual plays. I'm happy to say ,also, that I empathize with with your realisation of literary allusions. Fortunately, I think, with this piece, you get away pretty unscathed.
I do, looking again, see traces of Orwell in your writing. Am I correct in thinking he would be an inspiration to you? Or am I simply surrendering my naivety as a 21 year old? Whichever it is, I am glad you shared Kirby Felton's note. I am also glad you sent me your stark reminder to make a comment on this particular entity.
All the best, Ryan.. Rewarded 8
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Powerful
There aren't many self-aware, critical thinkers who have such a gift of the pen. Your structure is art. And I don't mean postmodern art (for the record). I have a love for good satire, and this is, most certainly, GOOD satire! I'm even quite proud to say that I've had the same thoughts about our present existence and its dependence on secrecy, unhealthy individuality, and assumptions about the guilt of everybody around us. I'm a little ashamed that I didn't catch all of your allusions, but we are from separate generations, and that's as good an excuse as any. But I'm proud to say that I understood your tap-root point and that I agree!
"There are strange things done in the midnight sun that would make your blood run cold."
Wonderful!
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I believe I got a different meaning from this story, which isn't a bad thing, because I thought it was wonderfully written. I didn't know most of the things you refrenced to, but I still found a depth to it. I felt as if he was pining for the world's innocence and felt he couldn't go on anymore because his world was reduced to nothing but digits and codes, and he wished for something more. I'm babbling, but it did make me think.
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Contrary to the popular attitude towards this piece I felt that the references to art, even though I did not fully catch them (I thank you for the later elaboration), gave it an unspoken power and depth. The protagonist holds semantics of being a deep person, full of educated preferences and culture, but simply reduced to nonsensical digits and pass-codes of the modern world. I think this made the character far more effective. I don't feel this piece was at all about the suspense or the predictability, it is just a statement that is wreathed in delightful and intelligent language that conveys your thoughts in a remarkable way.
As for the message, I could not agree with you more, and I wish I had thought of this concept myself. The days of being care-free and innocent are long gone, disappearing so incrementally that many of us failed to notice its passing. We are all defined by our numbers, passwords and accounts in a plain and linear way, reducing us to a digit within a database no matter how deep we are as people. They call this the digital age, but perhaps it is the statistical age.
You have a great mind, please keep writing.
- CC
. Rewarded 8
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Nice try
I saw the art in your story trying to piece together parts of yesterday that have been forgotten, yet have the same thread. I'm glad you pulled it all together by explaining it in the end.
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I must be too much of a nerd, when the biggest thought this left with me was that the guy used very weak passwords.
Anyway, the story was perhaps a wee bit too much 'art' for my tastes.. Rewarded 4
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predictable, but reasonably well crafted; have you ever investigated Leonard Cohen's beautiful losers?
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I found this incredibly depressing. You showed your character's life to be a deadly series of numbers. The sum of a man's life. He was coded out of existence. Orwellian. It is a very well constructed story/statement. Crafted by a master wordsmith. I am overpowered by it.
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you are amazing i loved the way you caught my attention with the first line i have never read any of your stories online but you are amazing i dont know if this is part of a seqel but its terrific how ever i did not understand the passwords are they real or fake is what is goin on my mind at the moment
however you are a talented writer keep writing
. Rewarded 6
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What an accurate view of life in this world today - that despite the rampant connectivity, so many of us are alone and forgotten. That there is no such thing as authenticity and that when it all comes down to the end, our life is but a series of numbers. This last two lines are almost poetic in the resonance. Brilliant use of oxymorons "midnight sun" sort of connotates that though it be night, nothing is hidden.
Again another piece of sheer brilliance from a master!
. Rewarded 8
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“And when the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall the earth be salted? They prance about wired to themselves, to other wires. They cell phone, they text, they pod, they cast. There is no waiting for the light. What light?
I really liked that paragraph. There was just something in it that caught my attention.
Another success. I wasn't sure until the end that it was a goodbye letter. I had my suspision (sp? terrible speller I am).
Great job.
Brooke
. Rewarded 8
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There is no joy because mighty Casey has struck out! Once again you amaze me! I have no words for how wonderful this is,GA. If I ever plan my own demise I want you to pen my good letter .
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