The Stories Will Run Red With Blood!

"Look, I didn't want to do this. Man your a good kid, too. But you pushed it all to far, and I'm gonna have to give you an hour long site ban." GuitarShank put a lock on my Chat box and told me off to go and play elsewhere. 1

Dave... Oh Dave. You will regret this... "You will rue the day you did this Dave! Rue it you will!"2

I ran home and grabbed the nearest item usable, which was a nine inch butcher's knife. Since I couldn't do the ghastly deed in the CB for a while, I messaged him using the site's super fast and mega efficient Private Messaging System. He came over to my apartment in the Free Walruses group, and as he walked in I ran and slammed the door shut.3

"Dude, what's gotten into you?" 4

"RUE GOD DAMMIT! RUE I SAY!" And I jumped on him, knifing him all around, immobilizing him in pain. I stuffed him into a message and sent him to his own house, which we'll pretend is his profile page, and I snook in to receive him. I grabbed him by his sandy-brown hair and threw him on the floor as hard as I could. I trekked into his room and came back with his guitar, a prized possession to him indeed. Bashing his head in a couple times, he started to gush everywhere, begging for an end.5

"What... What do you want? My Smash Bros. game? 'Cause you'll never get it! It's in a secret safe that will only open if I say the secret word!"6

"Bet ya don't remember the secret word."7

"Yuh uh! It's 'Guitars are sexy!'"8

And with a clink, the safe opened to reveal the game in all its golden shiny glory of glory... ness.9

"Oh crud..." I took the game in my hands and fondled it. Finally I placed it down and snapped off a guitar string; and strangled became a certain GuitarShank that day.10

{On the other side of town the next day...}11

" 'GuitarShank, who was revered as one of the cooler mods, was founded dead in his apartment yesterday, strangled by his own guitar strings.'" She read off the paper, sighed, and took another sip of her coffee. "Man... He was such a nice guy, too."12

"The murder was so messy, we're bound to find some kind of clue at the scene. Let's get goin' Barb."13

"Yeah... There should something there, Yosh."14

And wordlessly the two walked down the aisle and out the door of the Storywrite Cafe. 15

{Back at the murderers house...}16

"You did what to who!?"17

"I killed 'em Sherr... I killed 'em!"18

"Z... Why!?"19

"I lost it... But he had it coming anyway. And so do the rest of them. They've been tyrannizing this city for too long! Now I fight back! I'll kill 'em all one by one... And finally, Kevin."20

"Your insane! There's no way you can kill all the mods plus Kevin!"21

"I can sure as hell try. Look, Sherr, I love you, but I can't let you get caught with me..."22

"I wasn't gonna date a murderer anyway."23

"...Nice to know my girlfriend is so eager to break-up. Really nice."24

""25

"Emoticon freak..."26

"Nymphomaniac." 27

"Low blow Sherr... Low blow." I went into my room and grabbed one of my warmest yet most versatile coats. It was a black thin coat with about a million pockets, inside and out. 28

There was a Yu-Gi-Oh! card box that I kept all of my points at the back of my attic. I pulled down the pull-out staircase and climbed up. It's rusted surface dully shone through the dense layers of dust and cybernetic oldness. I grabbed it threw the top aside. It's discolored greenish contents must've been a delicious feast to the silverfish that ate it. I turned the whole thing over and poured out a green dust. 29

Annoyed and pointless, I jumped from the top of the staircase to the bottom, landing flat on my ass. The movies make it look so easy... 30

At least I still had a revolver that I kept in my bottom drawer... One that was missing.31

None other than I said the magic words "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish," and watched as a section of the left wall split away to reveal an amazing arsenal of weapons. I grabbed a pistol off the wall and stuffed into my pocket, and stuffed a shotgun into a backpack that lay limp on the floor.32

I zipped up the backpack and and put it on. It was a North Face with a lot of complicated straps all over.33

As I was walking out the door I passed my mirror, one that reaches all the way to the floor. Even I had to backtrack and take a double-look at my sexiness. There's no better time to be sexy than when your a cop killer. 34

Finally I left the room and came face to face with Sherr again.35

"I guess since I us a second shot I might as well stay with you. "36

"Are you sure?"37

"Yeah, I guess."38

I kissed her forehead and instructed her to just stay in here all day, answer no questions, and that I would be back soon enough.39

First things first: Get some points. 40

I went over to my regular nine-to-fiver, where I worked as a commenter. I sat a boring table all day and commented on stories. They worth four points each, but if I did an excellent job, the writers would reward me sometimes.41

So naturally, I used all of my best vocabulary and put on a good boy smile () and commented my best comments. Within an hour, I had made a grand total of one-hundred gazillion points. I'm that good. 42

Finally I got back, and, with the excess money, treated Sherr to a night on the town. We danced the tango until we were dizzy, then we went to Kevin's, the hottest restaurant ever made, and it's impossible to get into if I might add.43

We had the greatest time imaginable. Finally we got home, and I carried her over the threshold, romantic from the bottles of bubbly I had prior.44

I let her down on the couch and drank in her kisses, thirsty for more. I went for her bra and she belted me across the room. 45

Finally I had come out of my champagne coma, and had my head on straight, even if it was with a pounding headache now.46

And then I remembered what I was really supposed to do that night. I changed back into my street soldier clothes, with a Phantom of the Opera mask on this time. Eventually I realized it was dorky and threw it aside. I waved bye to Sherr and left.47


Finally I reached the house of Crazy Scott. I never really talked with him, but he was a mod all the same.48

I knocked on the door, and with my natural outgoing personality, introduced myself as an average guy that wanted nothing more that to talk a little. He accepted me in foolishly. After a small fortune of time, the topic of his new Smash Bros. game came up, and I taunted him by saying I'd so totally kill him in it.49

"I'd so totally kill you in it!"50

"Then let's go kiddo!"51

Oh that was the last straw. I WAS gonna give him the courtesy of plating a quick game, but he called me kiddo. He dies.52

"Okay, but you go set it up, I have to get something from my bag."53

"'Kay."54

Foolish, foolish boy. I held the gun at him, one hand on the trigger, the other on the chamber (the cocker thing that makes the 'chu-chuk' noise ) and shot him in the head. It blasted him backwards, and, unsure if he was annihilated yet, shot him again in the heart.55

I was about to leave, but I couldn't resist the urge to steal his Smash Bros. disc. So I stole it. 56

On the way back I passed Dave's house, and the Moderator (police) cars and flashy lights caught my A.D.H.D attention-span shortened attention. I decided to waltz on in and see what progress had been made in my case.57

"Hey, Yoshi," I called to to yoshi97. 58

"Huh? Oh, hey Z." 59

"What the hell happened here?!" I'm too good at faking emotions.60

"Dave was murdered..." 61

I just let my mouth drop down. Since yesterday the body had been removed, but nothing was being cleaned up, the remaining mods were examining every bit for a clue. 62

Suddenly a serious looking man came up to Yoshi with a bag that contained a revolver in his hand. It was my revolver...63

When had he removed it? It must have been when he banned me... But he was never in my room... Wait! It must've been the time he brought his Smash Bros. game over! So the son of a bubble went through my things huh? I'll have to be on my toes a little...64

"I'll take it to the group page (precinct) see who it's registered to." Yoshi told Symitar and took the bag from him. "I've got to be going now, Z. Don't do anything I wouldn't do now " And he left.65

"Wait, I was about to go also. I'll come."66

"'Kay."67

We walked out into the cold abyss of night and started talking, both going to the group forums to go to our separate lairs. I was about to ask a question about the murder when his phone rang, and he excused his self to take it. I stopped to wait for him. But little did he know, I've got the hearing of a dog.68

"Are you serious? Another one?! Dammit... I'll be there in a second." He hung up and came back to me. "Look, I've got to go..."69

"What happened?"70

"I shouldn't tell you this... But Crazy Scott's just been murdered."71

"... Well... I guess I'll see you then..." And he left.72

I ran home with a brilliant and insane idea. But first, I had to make a little pit stop at the jeweler.73

{Minutes later..}74

I bust through the door to my house like a madman. Naturally she was shocked, but using it as a diversion I bent down on one knee and showed her the ring.75

"Will you make an honest man out of me?"76

"Yes of course Z!"77

I threw the ring aside and took her into my arms. Part one of the plan was in action. Now for step two...78

{The Next Night}79

Don't worry dear reader, my plan will be unfolded shortly. Just sit back and watch...80

After crawling and hiding into the ventilation system of the Moderator's group, I was directly above an open vent. I lowered a piece of writing down slowly on a hook...81

"I smell.... I smell.... BAD WRITING! MOD SENSES KICKING IN! MUST CORRECT!"82

One mod ran to the paper, as more followed. Mods are a sucker for grammar corrections. 83

"Comma there! Period! Semicolon! That's the wrong use of the word they're!" As they all crowded around, I dropped a grenade , which made an awesome effect of them blowing away lifelessly.84

I looked down to see who could be crossed off the list.85

"AnnD, Kylia Skydancer, Cyberartist, Electric Sunrise." I said under my breath. Everyone but Azaradelle, Yoshi, and Barb. I know just how to end Azardelle, too... But I have a different priority now.86

I went over to the Chat Box and dropped in a tape recorder that I had cursed loudly on. It dropped and played every unmentionable word I knew. 87

Eventually Lunarwolf, or Ruth, came in to see what the disturbance was. She ponderously took the recorder in her hands and hit stop, and a bomb that was taped to the battery pack exploded immediately.88

"Ruth! What the hell was that!?" All the other chat helpers (rent a cops)ran in to help her. 89

It's no use, she's already dead... And now you will be, too! I dropped another grenade down and ended all of them at once. 90

And on my way home, I just had to take the Smash Bros. discs. They needed me. 91

{Several Days Later}92

"It's us mom!" I called through the door of my mom, Azaradelle (Lori)'s house. She opened up and invited Sherrice and I in. I had come early to help her set up for the giant family dinner she was hosting. But as we all know, I would never voluntarily help set something up (). So what could we be doing here so early at the house of a mod? Let's see...93

"I'll get the ice for the champagne."94

"Thanks Z."95

"Oh wait... It seems we're all out."96

"No, I just refilled before you all came in." She countered me as she brought out a cheese wheel from the fridge.97

So, thinking of nothing else fast enough, I slammed the ice on the wall and broke it all out, watching it descend to the floor.98

"Z, pardon my French, but WHAT THE HELL!?"99

"I'll get more ice. " As soon as she left to take the cheese out to the table, I dumped out the water I was filling the tray with and filled them all with a poison, mixed in with amounts of water.100

After everyone had arrived, dinner went smoothly. We all ate, had fun, all that. After all the fun was over, I told Lori I had to go to the bathroom. When I was clear out of view, I snook into her room, and saw it right there. Her Super Smash Bros. disc. Naturally, I stole it and left. 101

The next morning I got the Storywrite Times and read out loud an article on another moderator death.102

"The murders continued today as Lori was found dead in her house. She had apparently been poisoned. When asked for a comment, the remaining two mods had nothing to say, however they did announce that they would be accepting mods as fast they could come." I read off the paper.103

Now it's time... Barbara, Yoshi, you two have lived long enough.104

{Back at the Storywrite Cafe}105

"Dammit... This guy... It make no sense whatsoever! He's so neat and clean... How can he have done this all!?"106

"We need to find a motive. Or a clue he leaves in every crime. Then we might set a whole domino effect in." Yoshi said brilliantly.107

"Well what is there?" Barb asked.108

"Let's see... Was anything ever stolen in the crimes?"109

"Um... Yeah. In every case a Smash Bros. disc was found missing.110

"Hm... Who in the world would risk this much for a Smash Bros. game?"111

"Maybe if we check the old chat records, someone'll show."112

"To the Mystery Mobile!"113

{At The Chat Records Place}114

" 'Ninja Bubble: It's not fair! Everyone has the new Smash Bros. Game but I don't! I'd kill for just one play! Hell, maybe I literally will...' Barb, I think we've got the guy."115

{At His House}116

"This place is deserted... It looks like it hasn't been touched in ages..." Yoshi noted.117

"Hey, Yoshi, in here!" Barbara called from the other room, and Yoshi followed close behind. In Ninja's room, a wall of weapons was revealed.118

"His sniper isn't here." Barb noticed.119

"How do you know?" Inquired Yoshi.120

"He has a plaque under it."121

"Oh."122

"Wait... I this room looks familiar... On these blueprints... KEVIN'S PRIVATE OFFICE!"123

"You don't think...?" Yoshi said, panic-stricken.124

"We don't have much time, if Z really is going for Kevin, then he's got about five minutes until he leave his office!"125

{After a Minute of Wild Driving}126

Yoshi took took the liberty of searching the area for me, while Barbara went to warn Kevin. I was hiding on the roof of City Hall (Group Forums), in a small pavilion that was set up there, waiting for Kevin to pass through his regular route home from work. Before I knew what happened, a piece of the white structure was blown to bits by a bullet from below. I looked down, and right there was Yoshi.127

"Yoshi97. I always liked how you never fell into the monotone of being a moderator. You kept a nice and immature personality. But unfortunately, today you will die." 128

I jumped over the pavilion wall and slid down the roof of City Hall, shooting while I vertically declined. Finally I reached the end of the roof and jumped into a floor roll. I wasted no time in taking cover behind the nearest wall, and madly shooting at him. Finally I ceased fire, and slid along the wall to the other end, where I flipped around and shot Yoshi's kneecap. He crumpled like Brittany Spear's social appearance.129

I slowly walked over to him, and finally stood above him, looking down as it appropriately started to rain. I pulled the trigger mercilessly and shot him in the heart, as I could hear twin footsteps in the rain. 130

I looked to my right, and sure enough, there was Barbara, virtually bringing Kevin to me, to his death.131

I pulled the trigger to find at my dismay I was out of bullets. I rapidly grabbed the handle of my shotgun, cocked it, and pulled the trigger at Kevin, who was blocked by Barbara at the last minute.132

When I looked back, Kevin was being supported by Barbara.133

"I want you... To succeed me as Site Creator..." He sunk a little, then died. She laid him down gently and looked back at me. 134

To her agitation, I was holding the shotgun at near point-blank range. I contracted the muscles in my finger, and pulled back on the trigger, and heard the bullet pierce bone and muscle. Everything slowed down, and the ground rushed up to meet quite fast.135

"Yoshi!" Barbara was relieved.136

"Didn't you ever learn? You missed. Your left is my right, remember?"137

And with my last dying breath, I had one question.138

"How did you know it was me...?"139

"The Smash Bros. disc was found missing in every case. After checking with old chat records, we saw that you had been jealous of the mods and chat helpers fortune. You were always a Smash Bros. nerd. You just couldn't resist."140

"You all suck."