Kassandra stood in all her glory, her bold wings shining with a magnificent gold light. Her body was draped in the finest white silk; her beautiful long dark hair flowed down past her shoulders and curled lightly at the bottom, contrasting stunningly with her white robes. Her elegance out shone even Aphrodite's and the entire God's of Olympus lusted after her. Being the Goddess of Morals and Rights though, her name might have meant the entangler of men, but she certainly was not. 1
Strong with her opinion, this did not discourage the great King of the God's Zeus, who still sordidly cantered after her. Avoiding his presence at all costs, Kassandra hated his unwanted attentions and proceeded with sitting in the beautiful garden of Heaven. 2
Scribbling with her quill on some parchment, she did not notice the infuriatingly persistent God sneak up on her. Grabbing her arm and twisting it with excruciating force, he violently tried to push himself on her. In fear of being seriously hurt by the powerful Zeus her feathered wings began to glow a deep purple before she pushed the God with an almighty force that it propelled him high in the air and made him land with such a boom the whole Earth shook.3
Hera watched on in amusement behind a marbled column. Being a jealous woman, she always enjoyed seeing her husband not get what he wanted when it came to his lusting. Knowing he was going to be furious with the Goddess, she went to alert her mother of the incident.4
When Zeus had recovered, he took flight after Kassandra and when he managed to get hold of her, he dragged her to the court of Gods. By the time her mother had found her, Zeus was holding Kassandra by her neck and proceeded with gripping her wings and ripping them from her body for all to see. Kassandra screamed with agony as her terrified mother looked on.5
"You will be banished for this!" He roared, as a searing white light consumed Kassandra’s entire body before diminishing to nothing, now leaving her a frail and vulnerable mortal.6
Opening up the clouds, he threw Kassandra’s lifeless body down to Earth where he left her there to die. In total panic, Kassandra’s mother called upon Hermes the messenger to give word to her friend Persephone, queen of the underworld, to find her.7
"Tell my dear friend my daughter has fallen. Tell her to find her and look after her!" 8
Hermes stored the message instantly in his head as his feathered boots took to the skies and travelled to the depths of the underworld. When Persephone finally got word of what had happened, she rounded up some of her followers and took off to find Kassandra. 9
Eventually finding her lying in a bed of forest flowers, she looked down to find her lifeless, picking her up to cradle her body in her arms. In tears, Persephone called out to Mother Nature, her mother, Demeter. The winds roared and the leaves swirled in a frightening tornado, tiny orbs of beautiful lights gathered in their millions to form Demeter who appeared out of the enchanting sight. 10
"She is dead. Zeus has murdered her, please help her!" She begged.11
Demeter held out her hand, conjuring up the most ripened and delicious looking passion fruit there ever had been before handing it to her daughter.12
"Do not fear my child, all will be restored. Feed her this." She commanded.13
Persephone did as she was told and squeezed every drop she could out of the fruit and into Kassandra’s pale blue mouth. Desperately waiting for something to happen Persephone felt Kassandra’s body lift from her arms and float into the air. The beautiful little orbs of light began to gather once more as they encircled her body in a dazzling mass of colour and enchantment. 14
As they watched, mystical wings made of a shimmering translucent skin began to grow out of the wounds of where Kassandra’s old ones use to be. Glittering with all the colours of the rainbow, the veins of her wings took on each colour with a breathtaking brightness to fade out into another one. Tilting her to a horizontal position, the magical orbs continued to circle her, making her hair dance in their wind and her elegant white dress to fan out into the most magnificent way.15
Persephone heard the first breath of the now living Kassandra and her heart gave way to relief. The orbs started to fade away as they lightly place Kassandra on the ground. A warm peach now flushed in her face and the bewitching bright ocean blue of her eyes sparkled once more.16
"Is she alright now; is she back to her normal state?" Persephone asked her mother.17
"She is not a Goddess any more my child, she belongs to me now. It took a lot of power to grace her with life again and she will have to repay it back." Demeter informed her.18
"What is she now then mother?" Persephone inquisted, staring at Kassandra’s mesmerising wings of glory.19
"She will take care of my land. I had called upon my powers long before, for help with my tasks, but I needed a vessel and now I have one. She will be known from now on as the first faery to ever grace this land, with the powers to raise waters and cause torrential rains. Create winds so powerful they can up root a strong mighty tree. She can now move objects with her mind and have power over all the creatures whether they be mystical or Earth bound. Kassandra will be my first ever follower my darling daughter." 20
Persephone looked at her with astonishment and wrapped her arms round her mother in gratefulness.21
"She will need training mind, but when she has reached her human form of twenty two she will be at her most powerful and become part of something very great." Demeter announced putting a motherly hand on Kassandra’s shoulder.22
23
Hades looked at his son with pride. Tall, masterful and strong, he was the element of all his power. Taught for decades by the most feared of all Hades followers in the dark and foreboding underworld, Chaos was his most powerful Warrior. Created in mind of being Hades' debt collector for the merely mortals who were arrogant enough to think they could avoid paying their debts, he was strictly brought up on having a none forgiving and emotionless manner. 24
"To many souls I have lost through clever mortals thinking they can have one over on me, it is time we show them no one gets out of a deal with the underworld." Hades had recited often to an obeying Chaos, who stood firm and proud.25
Being Hades and Persephone’s son, he kept a keen eye on his training, his teachers being horrendously punished if he had not learned his trades correctly or his fighting techniques were sloppy and in the end, Chaos had become a fearless fighter, a heartless creature with vengeance. 26
Waiting to be carried across the Styx by Charon the ferryman, his mother gave him a quick dignified hug ready for his journey to Earth. Hades surveyed his son at a distance. Standing in his midnight black robe, large and firm muscles adorned his arms and legs. He was exceedingly handsome, with a roguish appeal to his short jet-black hair and his deep courageous brown eyes. 27
Persephone had always said he would win over any lady he chose with the stunning looks he had, his father saying he could use his attractive appearance to win over any mortal woman who were keeping their souls with duplicitous means. 28
Though his father had taught him to be ruthlessly cold and detached, his mother had always told him quietly when his father was not around, about the origins of love. Even though he was going to be taking peoples lives, he was to never let go of the idea of finding a lady of his own that he would love and care for.29
"Like your father did with me." She always ended her lecture with that.30
Chaos had sniggered at every word, his father and his teachers had made sure that what he was going to do, there would not be even a single bit of room for any emotion what so ever, never mind the pathetic and none existent form of love. He was not made for such a scheme and never would be.31
Charon pulled the boat up to the shore and looked in amazement at the strapping young lad that was about to get in his boat. Shaking slightly with unease he unloaded his latest passenger, a man killed by his wife surprisingly, and watched as Hades most precious son climbed in afterwards. 32
"Now you take care up there." Persephone had called out to him as the boat began to drift across the infamous Styx.33
"Don't talk ridiculously Persephone, he is my warrior, I have trained him well." Hades lectured her.34
"How is he going to survive up there, you know he is of mystical blood, he belongs down here not up there." She protested.35
"Not at all. He has a trait that will keep him surviving up there. He will be the most feared creature of all the land feeding on those wretched mortals blood so there soul, which is owed, comes to where it belongs. He is the very first creature of his kind I have ever sent up there. He will be the first Vampire." Hades proudly stated rubbing his hands together. 36
"He's going to feed on blood to stay alive as well as retrieve your lost souls?" Persephone cleared.37
"That’s right. Everyone will fear the sharp fangs of his purpose. Every single one of them." He glowed, giving a smug smile to a worried looking Persephone who watched her son disappear in the distance to the place they called Earth.38
Many years later...39
Chaos stood a good six-foot tall and looked breathtakingly strong and powerful. Now twenty-five in his earth form years, he had grown to exceed his fathers set idea of brilliance to something much more. His name struck fear into people’s hearts and anyone who saw the sight of him and knew what he had come for screamed and cried in utter terror. He was indeed, the great warrior his father had wanted him to be. 40
Skulking through the great forest, his tired and aching body was screaming for a rest. It was late evening and he usually worked at the night, but this time he had worked all day as well, trying to track the deceitful soul that was eluding him. Thirst clenching his throat he dragged himself further into the words to find water. The woods seemed to have an air of eerie silence and Chaos wondered if it was his presence that was causing the lifelessness of the forest. 41
A faint noise up ahead alerted his ears, perhaps there was life after all. Though he was hungry, he was not going to feed off any lowly forest animal; he had a strict human blood only sort of taste. Becoming more easy with his footsteps he cautiously headed in the direction of the noise.42
Seeing through the dark pillars of the trees, he saw a little glistening lake in the middle of a circled out emptiness in the thick content of the forest. Moving closer he heard the water splash and saw it ripple. Hiding behind a big oak so not to be spotted, he carefully peered around it to see what the cause of the disturbance was.43
There standing waist high in the water was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. With flowing brown hair, it lightly stroked across the waters edge as it softly blew about in the cool evening breeze. Chaos could not take his eyes of the scene before him, almost revealing his cover through lack of concentration. 44
He watched as her feminine hands reached down, scooped up the pale blue water, and enticingly poured it across the pale peach skin of her neck and cleavage. The thin white garment that dipped revealingly near her chest clung to her desirable figure and left Chaos feeling more than awakened. 45
Treading on a branch through his entranced like state, the lady was instantly alerted to the noise. 46
"Who is there? Show yourself at once." She commanded, climbing out of the water. 47
Feeling like he had no choice but to reveal himself he moved out of the concealment from the tree and began to walk slowly towards her, his hands slightly raised.48
"Don't be alarmed I am not here to harm you, I have come in search of water." He explained, noticing the fine curves of her long bare legs.49
Kassandra gave him a stern glare, taking in the sheer size of his masculine frame. 50
"You come in search of water and yet instead you hide behind a tree to watch me?" She sarcastically retorted.51
"No... I was not watching you… It is just… I didn't want to frighten you." He stuttered, feeling uneasy at his position.52
He was shocked at how this one woman has shaken him to the chore, having him talk like some awkward and insecure human. He was always forceful and deliberate with his wording and this unnerved him.53
"You didn't and you wouldn't." She informed him, slowly walking towards him.54
Chaos had never met a woman like her before; she was enchanting yet forceful, not like the other harlots with no respect for themselves back in the cities, offering themselves for money. He usually just fed off them, sparing them of anymore hell they called a life. In all his long years, collecting the debts of people he had never once found himself interested in a woman like his mother had always preached he would, but this time something was different. He wanted to learn more about her, be near her, and hear her voice. He thought he must have been ill.55
"I am glad." He finally answered, his body overshadowing hers as she came to stand right in front of him.56
"So who are you then?" She questioned him, looking deep into his eyes.57
He couldn't get over how bright her eyes where, so alluring and mystical he was positive she could not of been of human origin.58
"My name is Chaos. I come from... the city beyond." He changed, his mind deciding he was not wise to tell her the exact name.59
"Chaos? What a very commanding name you have. I am Kassandra." She replied, not reacting to the name as he thought she might. 60
Kassandra was just glad she had decided on reverting to her human form to go bath in the lake, now knowing she would have had company eased her mind when she thought that he might of come across her with her wings on display.61
Giving him a small but welcoming smile, she was intrigued at how handsome he actually was but was wondering what he was doing so deep into her forest.
Author notes
This is option 6 and 7 with abit of theme from option 3.
In the end I managed to get it to just one part, but I am wondering whether to make it into a series, I will wait and see on the feed back. lol
My favourite ice cream is a toss up between vanilla and banana! yum!
Hope you enjoyed it!
A contest entry
- The First Werewolf!...or Faerie?....or Dragon?.... by MoonRoseWolf.
450 points, ended March 28, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Nominate Your Friends by Taylor Renee.
225 points, ended June 19, 2008, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Gold by Ayesha Raees.
370 points, ended April 20, 2008, 31 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 37 of 37
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I like it. I really enjoy stories about the Greek Gods for reasons that are unknown to even myself. Thanks for giving me something interesting to read!
-Dani
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I love this story. It's amazing and beautiful and flows so perfectly!
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It was really good! This was different and a twist of greek mythology! Awesome! I hope to read more and congrats on having this featured! >.<
. Rewarded 4
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I love mythology! This was an interesting take, and I enjoyed it very much. I see others have commented on grammar and the like, recently, so I'll just add the first one that caught my eye, that wasn't mentioned in Mephitic ID's response. It's the last sentence of paragraph 1. I think if you rearrange the phrases from "Being the Goddess of Morals and Rights though, her name might have meant the entangler of men, but she certainly was not."
to
"Her name might have meant 'the entangler of men', but, being the Goddess of Morals and Rights, she certainly was not."
Many errors do distract the reader from a good tale, so I hope you give this one a polish and let it shine! I love seeing mythical beings fleshed out so wonderfully, as you have!. Rewarded 8
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wow
you are really good
i really enjoyed this
this was awesome
first i was involved the whole story
you were very detailed and descriptive
and i like that
keep it up
if you dont mind read some of mine
i only have two
there chap 1 and 2 of a book im writing
. Rewarded 6
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I, too, have found many grammar and punctuation mistakes. The story was interesting and creative, but I couldn't really get into it. I tend to pay more attention to the way stories are written, so when I see a story with "bad" grammar and whatnot, I lose interest almost immediately. I'm not saying that I haven't used bad grammar myself, but commenting should be used for constructive criticism. One thing I've learned is that when someone says you're story is "Good", it's usually just the nice thing to say. So, hopefully you improve on your punctuation, because you DO have potential.
Using Greek "mythology" to create your own story...I like that idea.
Take care.
. Rewarded 8
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Very good
I'm getting a few memories of other stories through the themes in this one - it's nearly a Romeo and Juliet theme, and there was a particular line that reminded me very much of The Importance of Beig Earnest - but these plots ar far less entertaining than what you've come up with here. How did you think of this? It's damn good 
keep going. You're on a roll!
. Rewarded 8
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i think you should make this a series, it's really good and i want to know more!
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nice play on the greek gods!
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I definately fell in love with this. You did a great job!
It definitely caught my attention, and ir was written really well with a great plot!
Thank you so much for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck.
xoxo
-♥-
Tay
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Totally amazing. I don't regret reading this one bit! Going on now to the next installments.
Keep up the good work!
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I definitely found this interesting. At the moment, it seems like a part of something bigger unless you give us just a bit more in the end. I think maybe there should be something of their prospects for change there.
I like the way this started in a very mythical fashion. When you were speaking of gods, the actions were very remote and matter of fact, while the meeting between Chaos and Kassandra was a bit more psychological or emotional.
Ultimately, as I said, you just didn't give me enough of this. You've drawn the reader into these two characters, but you leave them just when they have some prospect for change. If you have plans to expand this, then that's probably a good idea.
I made a lot of grammatical notes and suggestions:
still sordidly cantered after - word choice. "cantered" as in like a horse? do you mean hankered?
pp. 3 - "powerful Zeus, her feathered wings began to glow" "God with an almighty force that propelled him high"
pp. 10 - "Eventually finding her lying lifeless in a bed of forest flowers, she picked her up to cradle her body in her arms." - possibly a better construction, since you used "find" twice. Might want to use proper names beginning the second clause, though, to avoid pronoun confusion.
pp. 15 "the wounds where Kassandra’s old ones used to be"
pp. 19 "Persephone inquired"
pp. 20 "first ever follower, my darling daughter"
pp. 21 "gratefulness" - gratitude?
pp. 23 "need training, mind, but when she" "Demeter announced, putting a motherly hand"
pp. 24 "of all Hades' followers in the dark" "none forgiving" - is this an English variant for unforgiving?
pp. 25 "one over on me. It is time..."
pp. 26 "Being Hades and Persephone's son, Hades kept a keen eye on his training, punishing Chaos' teachers if he had not learned... techniques were sloppy; and in the end, Chaos had become..." - there were some subject confusions in the paragraph as you wrote it
pp. 27 something like this: "Waiting for Charon, the ferryman who would carry her son across the Styx for his journey to Earth, Persephone gave him a quick dignified hug." "Standing in his midnight black robe" applies grammatically to Hades, the closest antecedent. I can't figure out how to fix it at the moment, but I leave it to you.
pp. 28 "any mortal women" - you used the singular
pp. 29 "quietly, when his father was not around, about the origins of love" "taking peoples' lives"
pp. 31 "teachers had made sure that was what he would do; there would not be... whatsoever"
pp. 36 "feeding on those wretched mortals' blood so their souls, which are owed, come to where they belong." "Hades proudly stated, rubbing his hands together."
pp. 40 "He was, indeed, the great warrior"
pp. 41 "into the woros to find water"
pp. 46 "through his entranced like state" trance-like state or entranced state -- another subject confusion in this sentence. perhaps "he alerted the lady to his presence"
pp. 47. "no choice but to reveal himself, he moved out"
pp. 53 "shaken him to the core"
pp. 58 "could not have been of human origin"
pp. 61 "her human form to go bathe in the lake" "not knowing she would have company; he might have come across her with her wings on display."
Mike -
Chaos......... so apt
"and the entire God's of Olympus lusted after her. Being the Goddess of Morals and Rights though, her name might have meant the entangler of men, but she certainly was not" Okay, I've already got some minor issues with your story, although I love how you know so many gods and goddesses and can correctly spell their names. Now, do not capitalize gods and goddesses. Stop that right now ^_^. And if she's the goddess of morals and rights.... she wouldn't be an entangler of men; that implies that she's sneaky or beguiling.
NEXT in Chaos' section...
" Created in mind of being Hades' debt collector for the merely mortals who were arrogant enough to think they could avoid paying their debts, he was strictly brought up on having a none forgiving and emotionless manner" Okay. This sentence is funny all around, but Granny is here to help. "Created to be" or "created for the purpose of" ... "mere" not "merely" "a none forgiving".... eh. use "unforgiving." In the following paragraph, use "Too many mortals" instead of "to many."
Last two things- "shaken to the core," not "chore" and "bathe" not "bath."
Finally..... this whole thing about Chaos and Kassandra possibly dying is bogus, because Kassandra is A- a goddess and Chaos is one by default because his parents were. Whatever, it's your story. It would just be more believable if Kassandra's immortality was removed from her or something.
In the end, I did like this and you did a good job. I'm curious to read more!
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It was interesting. You had some grammer and spelling errors, but that did not take from the story at all!!! It is a great story and very detailed about the characters and surroundings. All of the things you added in your story, i am interested in.
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What an incredibly original piece you have written... I love the mixture of mythology, vampirism, and your descriptions. Although, I do agree with Child of the Fay... You could have gotten inside Chaos and Kassandra's head a lot better..I really liked Kassandra, but Chaos just had this... this wonderfully wicked sense to him. I love this story because it is unlike anything I have ever read.. More emotions from the characters would be good, but I still enjoyed reading this
Keep up the good work!
Ana
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LOVE THE IDEA!
It was well written and your characters where interesting. The idea of the first vampire was cool! There is one thing you should change grammatically; I think you capitalize Underworld (but I could be wrong). In Greek Mythology did Hades and Persephone really have kids (more a question for my story )? Why did Persephone need her mother's help? She is Queen of the Underworld after all shouldn't she be able to resurrect Kassandra on her own? You were much truer to Hades' darker character then I was *sighs* I just couldn't make him come off that way no mater how hard I tried *cheers for you*. I think you need to develop the characters of Chaos and Kassandra a little more. Get us into their heads and closer up. Its a hard thing to do in third person believe me! When you wright try to imagine yourself as the character or right nest to them as something happens. For example when Kassandra got her wings pulled off imagine what that felt like not as someone watching but as Kassandra herself and convey those feelings in the story. As a whole your doing great keep up the good work . As someone who loves mythology and vampires I really like this one!!! Now I have someone to ask advice from when I start writing my Vampire story, after Dark Roses of course
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I love the Greek mythology setting. The story is stunning and descriptive, one question I have to ask though; Who is Kassandra's mother and what is she the Goddess of? I like the use of Demeter as she rarly comes into the myths but is one of the most important and powerful gods. Love it and am hoping for more.
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LOVE IT!!!!
i really enjoyed your story, i am only a beginer at greek mytholigy, but i was able to follow your story!
please write more, i love your writing you should try to get it published (i'd buy it)
. Rewarded 4
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this is amazing!
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ENTICING!!!
Greek mythology, faeries, Vampires, Immortality, both from two powerful worlds from the skies and of the earth. This is a great mini novel already!and yes it could pass for a series. These are the stories you want to read!!!
What will happen now between chaos and Kassandra? And how would the other gods feel about this? They will forbid it I am sure! But there something about these two coming together that will definitely stir commotion and possibly love between the two! Great Idea Crystal Enchantress! well done
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SERIES!!!! Love, this is so awesome. I mean...the description, the creativity, the emotion!! I love how you portrayed it and I couldn't help but think: "Damn, I wish I was a God"...lol, great work!!! You keep writing like this and those publishers will be chasing you. Good luck in the contest!
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A truly amazing read, i think once this story is finished it will turn into an instant classic, i loved all of the descrptions and i am extremely passionate about greek mythology and i have read nearly all of their stories and legends and i could swear that you could put this in with them and it wouldn't look out of place at all, i was even quite jealous of chaos's good looks when you described them.
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very good!
i really enjoyed this mix between different myths, please write more! the tranistions between them were very smooth and 100% believeable, which is always a key in stories!
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This is wonderful I love Greek mythology. This read smoothly from beginning to end and left me wanting more. Thank you for such an enjoyable read
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This is sooo good- I think you should definetly make this into a series. I loved how you came up with the ideas for the origins of the vampire and faery, combining Greek mythology along with it. It was very orginal. You had a lot of really vivid desciptions, which made it a really interesting read. A few typos here and then, and I think your last sentenced sounded a bit rushed, but overall, this was very well written.
. Rewarded 8
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Typos and such like.
I have re - read over this piece many times and still I spot tiny little typos that you would barely notice lol but I think I have them all now. Thank you for the great comment.
Cathy.
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Wow, this is really an enrapturing story. The details and the descriptions were so intricate, and the story is interesting, yet captivating. I like how you combined the ideas of faeries ans vampires in the same story. And then you put Greek myths in there too. Wow, that's just a recipe for me loving a story! And that's not even looking at the wonderful writing style. I like how it almost reads like it's one of the Greek myths with how it's told. It's just that elegant.
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brillant story, it was with descriptive. i didn't it to stop. looking forward to your next piece. well done.
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Oh my gosh! Wow! The flow and descriptions in this are just so incredibly beautiful. I was hanging on to every word of it anxious to read more as I went. This is amazing. Awwww and I love the romance that's thrown in!!! I always love reading romance Great work and good luck!
~Joann
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nice Greek romance. I don't know a huge deal about Greek mythology but as a story in its own right this worked. Honestly this reads like the writings of a Greek scholar (good thing) writing style suits story perfectly. A classical Greek (non) tragedy. V well done
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I adore the name Kassandra. I think it is beautiful. This is extremely well written, and I think I may read it again! This sounds like it might have been written exactly for a book of Greek Myths. It was informative, and just when it was getting really, really interesting you stopped!!!!!! Grrr! I was desperate to find out what happened! I hope you write plenty more of this. It's great. Chaos is descrined well, and the name Persephone is sweet, although I know that it is a Greek name too. Well done!!!!!!!!!!!!11 Kais =)
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You should make this into a series...wow I was enthralled with your story. I liked your descriptions through out the story they were very vivid.You have great imagination and story telling skills, Good luck in the contest.
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well, slap me and call me Sally
Wow... you've outdone yourself in this! This was very good and kept me intrigued and drawn in. This may become my next fascination. More please!
One thing, though this line:
now knowing she would have had company eased he mind when she thought that he might of come across her with her wings on display
Might want to say her mind, rather than he mind... just a thought. I know that you don't like too much spell correction
DarkOne -
I was totally inside this like you had a spell washed over my intire body..I was so consumed, I forgot to swallow my coffee and managed to almost short cicut my keyboard {good one blair}
Firsly the references were very inctricit..very in depth reseach I see..me myself would be befuddled by it all but the elgnth you must have gone into to get this right, while not offending an legends myths ect.. Blood good job..
How could zues have done that..thats terrible, reminds me a lot of lucifer, she is like miss lucifer, strong willed, yet he cast herm and tore her apart for not selling her body to him.
The vision of her wings being ripped and torn on her ody shivered me sensless I swear I visioned it so well, with you descriptions it was slightly horrifying actually...
CHAOS, noe what a beautifull name, as is Kassandra, but Chaos, for a enchanting man.I thought that scene with her in the water was just suberb, kinda felt myself being captivated, sinking into his character, watching her, feeling ever so uncomfortalble yet just so lost inside her beauty...
You have done well on both parts establishing the characteristics of each chaos and kassandra, I think they are just both so beautiful inside my head, I really feel lightend and spirited for some reason, enchanted....... you know the kind of story thats so in depth and skillfully written.. Yet one that relaxes you
I also fancy the mix of a lot of genres, and I want to commend you on your effort, for it was well worth it.
Good lick in snows contest I think she already has a winner
Love blair
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i think everything i wanted to say has been said. this was wonderuful and creative. dialuague was great. seemed to be real, not forced.
favorite line:
He watched as her feminine hands reached down, scooped up the pale blue water, and enticingly poured it across the pale peach skin of her neck and cleavage.
i dunno. haha. i pick the most random lines it seems to be my favorite >.<
but i pick them because they are freaking awesome! great job on this. lol. the 1st person's comment: the descriptions were descriptive.
haha. anyways keep it up b
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I really enjoyed this felt it was writen very well and creative, The flow was fantastic. I really got in deep and while reading it someone tapped me I swear i jumped to the ceiling cuz of how deep i was into this. Job well done.
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Please write more!!!!
This was BREATHTAKING!
I don't think I've enjoyed reading a single story on here as much as that. I loved the idea of how both a faery and a vampire were created, and I really love the romance thrown in there!.....
The writing was perfect, and it flowed so well, your descriptions were vivid and descriptive-I actually got a shiver down my spine when I read about how Demeter appeared!
It has all the best things combined-mythology, a bit of magic, roamnce, and horror.
If you don't write some more of this.....
If I was to end the contest now, you would be in the top three, well done!
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