God was just about done creating humans when he realized he had two parts left over. Being two different parts, God couldn't decide how to split them them fairly.1
Looking down at Adam and Eve, God decided that since he gave these two creations free will, he may as well ask them and give them the option of deciding for themselves.2
He explained the predicament; first he told them that one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee while standing up. "It's a very handy thing," God told them, "and I was wondering if either of you had a preference for it."3
Before Eve could get a word in edgeway, Adam jumped up and down and begged, "Oh, please - give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that! It seems like just the sort of thing a man should have. Please! Please! Give it to me!" 4
On, and on, he went like an excited little boy, while Eve rolled her eyes in the background. She just smiled and told God that if Adam wanted it so badly, he could have it.5
So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up. Adam was so thrilled with his new addition, he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock, then he wrote his name in the sand, and, finally, if he could hit a stump from ten feet away. Amused and delighted, Adam laughed the entire time.6
God and Eve watched the scene, laughing together as Adam 'discovered' every new thing he could do with his new 'tool'. God turned to Eve, "Well, I guess you're kind of stuck with the last thing I have left."7
"What's it called?" Eve asked8
"Brains," said God9
Author notes
Just a bit of fun
A contest entry
- Funny and Random by Thorn-on-the-Rose.
175 points, ended July 22, 127 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - JOKES!!! by Carina.J.LR.
175 points, ended May 19, 14 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - make me laugh...or cry by LynksTryforceGurl.
115 points, ended June 11, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Laugh by Adinatak.
175 points, ended June 18, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 58 of 58
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ahahahaha
didn't see that coming.
Nice joke. -
Lol, omfg, that was funny, lol. Sooo not what I was expecting for the ending, lol. Loved the brains thing
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this was awesome!!! adam was hilarios wizzing all over the place but when god said he would give eve brain, i was like OH YEAH!!! go women! hehe great job i luved this
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God gave man one brain and one penis and only enough blood to run one at a time.--robin williams quote.
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Power to women! Nicely written and very humorious!
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Very nice I need to use this next time my friend tells one of his anti-woman jokes
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great ending, i was thinking something WAY different...
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Haha! That is funny. Especially the brains thing. I was thinking something else... but the brains made me laugh.
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haha
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hehe
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That was Funny, but i think i saw it coming. Never would of thought that peeing standing up would be a gift though.
BTW i like your pictue: "I'm smiling, that alone should scare you.". It's like Sandi Thom's album, "Smile... it confuses people". Anwayz, after being randomn, good stuff.
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Hahaahahahahahahaha
Loved this!
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good piece
and yeah if was funny and i liked and took no offense lol -
Okay .. so I just finished commenting on this but I still think its awwsome
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AHAHA loved this
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hahaha, so true....
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Hahahaha! That's soooo true. Women to have brians. I have twenty pictures of mine. JKing.
Great humorous story. -
Haha, cute! I really liked this! Very cute and clever.
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nice!
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Hi Blondie!
Brains? Well, perhaps. However, I understand that ever since, women have been envious of the penis.
Andy
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-_- You didn't write this. I've seen this before...
http://www.funtoosh.com/dj.php?details=a11~427
It's clever, but please don't take credit for things you didn't write. -
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I wrote this 'joke' back in 2000 and emailed it to a friend of mine - who, as far as I know, emailed it on to several other people. I am aware that it is now archived in several different places and joke websites (all with slight variations since people do change the wording), but since I never formally published it, I cannot claim outright copyright. But I do find it offensive that you have accused me of blatant plagiarism.
You may have seen a 'version' of this before, but the original was written by me. I ask you to be very careful about making accusations such as this without absolute proof. -
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I realized after I sent it that it was very rude and that I didn't have proof. I am sincerely sorry for accusing you. I hope you can accept my apology.
You have a real talent with humor.
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OMG! That was hilariously, amazingly, AWESOME! Very creative, and I absolutly did not see that ending coming! Very funny!
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hahahaha!!! really funny!!!
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This was hilarious.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Almost forgot... applause! *clapping*
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Haha, this is great! And so true (albeit sexist) at the same time. I love it!
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LOL!!! This is hilarious! I love how you managed to make this humor religious - without insulting the religion. The twist at the end about Eve getting the brains was great. Seems like she was already using that marvelous gift of intelligence when she didn't jump right up and claim the first offer without waiting to hear the second.
I needed a good laugh this evening. Keep up the great work. -
Hmmm...not sure whether to be insulted or amused. LMAO...must be that lack of "brains" of which you refer...ha. Very cute.
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Soooo what are you trying to say?
This was pretty funny.
With the title I was half expecting a very dirty joke
You made Adam & Eve sound like Homer & Marge
I could just picture him giggling and peeing like a drunk freshman at his first kegger.
Truth be told, this is the real reason guys like the snow so much.
FYI - It takes a lot of liquid to get out 'Cactus Jack'.
lol I know, I know TMI.
Anyways nice read & perfect for our little group.
Jack
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You think "Cactus Jack" takes a lot? Try "Daniel Van Werkhoven" now -that- is an effort.
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It seems as though Eve had already developed the better thought process, seeing as she didn't jump ahead to pick her present
I liked this one, though it kind of came off as one of those old-fashioned jokes ("Three people walk into a bar...")
Thanks for entering
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that was funny, i enjoyed it
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I really liked this.. It is funny and short.. I really like it... Good Job
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MWAHAHAHAHA girl power joke.
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this is really great...
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hahaha
i've already commented on this, but heck! this is too funny!!
and yet again, i don't find anything offensive in this!
it has nothing blapheme in it, and it is very,very funny!
cheers!
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I really don't think you should have used the name of Prophet Adam. It was really offfensive, i would kindly ask you to remove it please and put in seomthing like simply man said he wanted the thing. I would really apperiate that.
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Must...stop..laughing....XDDDDDDDDDD
Like inksplatterskitty said in some cases its sooo true.
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LOL...that was pretty damn good! Funny stuff and wonderfully done! Nice work....
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Ha ha, this was very original and funny! Thanks for the wonderful joke and thanks for entering my contest!
*KAT* -
Wicked!
What a cool piece. Reading this gave a me a real laugh out loud moment, which are hard to come by sometimes. Well done.
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lol
hilarious....can't ...stop...laughing!
In some cases: SO TRUE!!!
Thanks for the hilarious joke!
Excellent!
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Good one
Thanks for entering my contest and good luck -
Love it! Good job with this! It's soo true.
erica[♥]xoxo!
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LOL
You know what. I should have seen it coming. I mean, I really should have, but you probably would not be surprised to hear that I didn't! -
you made this???
hahahahahahaha it is funny as hell
im christian too, but i didnt find it offensive at all, i thought it was pretty funny
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^.^ omg funny! Yeah that explains a lot ^.^
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Oh dear... Being a Christian I can manage to find that a bit offensive... But the rest of me is laughing sooooo hard. Brilliant!
For being where it's set and making me slightly uncomfortable with the thought, minus one star, for making me laugh the hardest I have all day, two stars!
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LOL oh my god this was so funny!!! I loved this and I can not stop laughing.
~Joann
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LMAO this was quite amusing.. I think I have heard it before.. But I still liked it just the same
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Good joke
The ending was funny, yet so true. LOL
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Very feminist! But it was funny! lol
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This was damn good ^^ nice job.
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Very droll. I guess this is sort of a tall tale. I think you messed up with "if he could hit a stump...". Maybe it's a typo that popped up between versions of the story. It would make sense as "he tried to see if he could hit a stump..." or something like that
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Lol! That was hilarious! Niiiiiiice. I'm a Christian, so yeah, it all works out. Lol, man, that really made me laugh.
♥,
Fin -
Oh, I hate christian stuff but I can't help laughing at that! Sort of makes me feel unwanted though; I pee standing up and I do stupid things with it. >
--RT
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