She was young and in love
He loved her so much
They were perfect for each other
It was love sent from above1
She had a secret
He had to be told
Tonight he will know
With much regret2
They met in the woods
Tears in her eyes
He tried to comfort her
But then he heard the sighs3
She was with child
He was numb from shock
They were only 14 years old
His heart became locked4
With anger that night
One he could not control
A thick fog rolled in
He thought, no one will be told5
As the howling owl watched
From the big oak tree
He smashed her head
Then hung her in the tree6
As the sun came up
She hung limp
In the sunrise
A stranger appeared, with a coffee cup7
Just wandering around
Looking for his brother
He never came home last night
His mother sent him out to be found8
Then his eyes were amazed
To what he had seen
In the big oak tree
He almost turned green9
He took out his knife
Climbed up the big tree
Cut her down with a cry
Wanting to know who took her life10
Then his brother appeared
With the lifting fog
Torn and battered
His brother felt what he feared11
What to do next
With this beautiful dead girl
Hard for his brother
His mind in a twirl12
Then the 14 year old boy
Took out a knife from his pocket
Riped open his throat
His dirty blood spilled out with joy13
For his sins have been released
He was now again with his love
His brother still holding this girl
With the love sent from above14
Now both laid side by side
His brother stared at them both
For he knew the truth
She with child inside15
For it was his
Not his dead brother's
With his heart empty and numb
He went home to tell their mother
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Well then...
That is a really great story. Slightly ironic but not in a way anyone could laugh about. -
Layed should be laid, just as a quick note.
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This reminds me of the poems/fairy-tale sayings in the fantasy movies, most specifically those like THE LAST UNICORN, which was beautiful yet dark at the same time.
I really like this poem; it has a good meaning and shows what some may feel like. Some believe that age is something to be worried about through love, but when something like pregnancy is involved, things can turn for the worst.
Great work,
~ Kody -
omg This was one messed up poem. I freaking loved it! It was incredibly twisted, man. I'm totally a fan! haha This is definitely an interesting piece. I love the twist at the end. It was really enjoyable from start to finish. I'll definitely be reading whatever you've got. ;]
-Lily ♥
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Hey Pruedenc! Lol, I had like 4 people comment on Tommy Grant, which is hilarious considering I worked on his story for about five minutes and then had to go to a different house. Yes, his story will be MUCH longer and involves a little more than him being a freaking awesome 5-year-old. I'm also considering changing the title, once again this was an "I have to go soon but I'll be back to write more later" little paragraph...thing. I'll try and remember to let you know when it's longer and more ready for readers if you want.
♥,
Fin -
thanks will finish the rest tomorrow.
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