♥ When I wake Up ♥
I want to be the only one ♥
♥ Like you are mine
Like I am yours ♥
♥ I want to remember this Moment
Make it always last ♥
♥ This Hunger of mine
This Tainted time ♥
♥ Enjoy your words
There sweet like wine ♥
♥ Just like this
I'll taste your lips ♥
♥ And Quench My Thirst ♥
In a list
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Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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"I want to remember this Moment
Make it always last " this was my favorite part. Ryming was excellent. I love the hearts. It brings out the words. The capitals? I'm sprry, I'm free thinking.. x.x lol -
Sweet
Nice and sweet, I like it, I don't have time right now, but I am going to read more.. very nice..
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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I really like this. You do a good job with the rhyme. I have read so many rhyming poems (here and on Allpoetry) where the rhyme is just forced, and they invert sentences to get it until the poem makes no sense. Thank you for not doing that! I like the rhythm of this too, and how you threw in:
♥ This Hunger of mine
This Tainted time ♥
to make it a little dark.
Nice job! -
Aye...the longing to be close to someone builds within Me in this prison. I like the idea of "I'll taste your lips and quench My thirst."
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I admired this peice.
You seemed to instill so much passion and adoration in this short poem that I could not help but feel something magical and erotic stirring in my heart and soul.
Beautiful work.
♣
Blake
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As usual this was a very lovely piece. This was very moving and I have often felt like this. I love the feeling of waking up next to the person you love. I recently stayed with my partner for the first time the other night becuase it was his birthday and it felt amazing to wake up in his arms (not least of all because he was wearing his birthday suit, hehe, well he had to really, it was his twenty first). I enjoyed reading this though hun.
X Amber X -
Very nice poem to the point direct and very well done. Whomever you wrote this for it is really good. And I hope they know that you feel this way about them.
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Cute little poem
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Awww... god that feels so warm
You really captured the essence of passion and love in this poem. Bloody well done!
DarkOne -
Love is a wonderful thing..and you have captured it here. Lovely...make it last, thanks for sharing
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