The Master Sculptor

Every artist was once an amateur; some stayed that way, others were mediocre, and few were brilliant.1

Harrison Taylor drew back from the tableau, critically examining the scene before him, at first from one angle, and then another.2

Almost perfect, he thought, adjusting the position of the sculpture.3

He shuffled to one side, tilting his head; the light caught the subject well, shadows contrasted nicely, and the subtle feathering in between emphasized the varying roundness of parts of the work.4

Wiping his hands on his frock, he thought about the first time he had attempted such an undertaking. He had been barely out of school; the model he had selected had been flawless. Rather, it had been he that proved imperfect; the implements foreign in his hands, the execution careless, the outcome dissatisfying.5

Over the years, he had progressed; each subject chosen with care, he made sure to use high quality tools, and the final step embarked on with precision. When he considered the journey he had taken to arrive at where he was today, it was really a continual study of expert artisanship.6

His gaze was drawn again to the timeless beauty portrayed in front of him; the hues of soft peachy pink complemented by sharp lines of crimson. A splash of cerulean blue clashed brilliantly with the sunset orange hibiscus. A sheet of licorice black cascaded from the higher plane, a wisp trailed artfully across the midline.7

His examination now focused on the props around his sculpture; at the foot lay an angel card – ‘prosperity’- its addition the unique moniker Harrison had cultivated for himself. All great artists had a style, or a signature, that made them distinctive. After nearly twenty years, and a great many reviews in the media, Harrison considered himself to be, not only a great, but also a master.8

The creation of his art transcended all other things, and without it, his life lacked depth and passion. Everything he experienced, after completing each distinct artwork, was extraordinary; a mere sandwich was the food of gods, a simple sunset the blazing gates to hell itself, even water tasted of dewed nectar.9

He ran a finger lovingly over his sculpture; the delicate textures captured truthfully in every inch, every curve, and every tone. As he lifted his hand away, a tiny amount of damp cerise came away; evidently, it was necessary that he allow further time for his masterpiece to dry.10

He retreated, collected the implements of execution, and, after cleaning them reverently, placed them inside his worn canvas bag. He gave his sculpture one, last, appreciative look. 11

Showcased against a flawless cream wall the sculpture, though lifeless, radiated the charisma of life captured in a moment. It was an ideal all artists sought; the ability to capture the essence of life and reveal its intricacies.12

Harrison bid his sculpture farewell, and departing from the display, shut the door behind him silently. He smiled with eager expectation; tomorrow his critics would rave about the recent addition to his series. 13


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~14

The next day, Harrison retrieved his early edition newspaper with breathless anticipation. Ever since he started his journey of continual improvement, he always enjoyed reading the reviews that his critics gave him.15

Spreading the newspaper out in front of him, he grinned as he read the headline. Clearly, his sculpture had been received in the way he expected - this new work would be the talk of the city for many days to come.16

Taking a slow sip from his coffee, he relished the moment, before pushing the paper to one side. He had another sculpture to plan - another perfect artwork, another perfect murder.17

He glanced at the satisfying headline again as the morning sun streamed through his window;
18

19

“Angel Killer Strikes Again: City Outraged”20

21

He smiled; he was, indeed, a Master.22

*23

*24

 25

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 89 of 89

  • Whipper Snapper silver member
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    I loved it! The discription of artwork and then murder in the headlines, the artist behind the artwork being it's source. Twisted minds give us something to write about, am I right? I just loved it!


  • F66142589
    September 30

    Edit | Reply
    I hate it when you reveal something through the newspaper, but the ending was the brainchild of a genious.


  • Queenie-Chan
    June 18
    Edit | Reply
    crazy but very intresting lol good job

  • Weird! I like it!!!!!!!! gOOD JOB!!!!!


  • lavanya
    March 17

    Edit | Reply
    Intresting story,
    i like how you give a unexpected end to this, a tasteful creepy feeling is plus point of this story.
    No doubt it is a error free story,great job and good luck dear.


  • iPoopAThug
    March 4

    Edit | Reply

    Good

    I liked that you didn't introduce that it was a murder and that you sort of got that later while reading. Sadly though I did kind of expect it somewhat simply because artist murders are a pretty popular topic. However I think your execution is pretty good.


  • Lady Pixie Greeters member
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    very well done- nice twist at the end, never expected it Exceptional use of detail and grammar. I enjoyed reading this. Well deserved of its trophies!


  • Lady Eventide Greeters member
    February 26

    Edit | Reply


    Oh, wow. You certainly fooled me. I feel so embarrassed now for not seeing that coming. With your writing, you're always throwing me into a whirlwind. I never know what the ending is going to be until I get there.

    This is definitely the case!

    The way that he felt about his "artwork" in the beginning is like...wonderful; in the end it's like...so sick. Wow. Such a change!

    Well done!

  • SilentMoonDance
    February 25

    Edit | Reply

    Hmm...

    Yeah, I remember reading this too. But for some reason, I never commented. Strange.
    Anyway, I really like the entire concept of this story. The sculptor and murderer was so perverse and deranged...the entire story was eerie in a way. The only distraction for me was the kate moss sculpture. OMG, it's hilarious...I don't know what to think about it.
    Hey, have you ever read The Snow Garden, because this story reminds me of it.
    Great write!
    (Sorry, no real applause because I'm saving up for a big contest. When it's up, you should enter)


  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    February 24

    Edit | Reply
    I've read this before, but when a piece is this good I don't mind reading it several times. One thing I noticed was that you used a lot of semicolons. They were used correctly, but there were still a lot of them. Maybe you could consider varying your language a bit by changing some of them to two complete sentences, or substituting dashes for semicolons. Just a thought. Really, though, I was just here for enjoyment.


  • Lawrie gold member
    February 22
    Edit | Reply

    Oops!

    Sorry!
    Forgot the applause when I commented. Let me try again.
    Here goes...


  • scriptor
    February 22

    Edit | Reply
    this was a ver discriptive piece; i could vividly picture everything you described in my mind. It did, however, seem to start off a little slow; nothing real interesting took place. But, you did end it perfectly; it catches the reader and beggs them to come and read more. Good write.

    beginning: 2, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 3.


  • Abstract Muse gold member
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    I thought that title sounded familiar and I'm glad it was.
    I enjoyed reading this again.
    He's still a sick puppy.
    Greg

  • Lawrie gold member
    February 21

    Edit | Reply

    Very clever!

    Well done.
    This is beautifully disguised leading the reader into thinking of an artistic sculptor only to be faced with a twist at the end.
    I had to read it a second time to dig out the hidden clues as in "a tiny amount of damp cerise" and "collected the impliments of execution".
    A well worked story which was interesting from beginning to wonderful twisted ending.


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    February 21

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    You never really mentioned "killing" at the first part (before the break) but while I read, I imagined him doing that, fixing a corpse.. I was even reminded of this local comics I read, about this one man's goal to find the perfect woman (he couldn't find her, so he opted to make her.. by using other women's body parts, all put together).

    As I said, I don't know how you did that, but you really set the "mood" and seemingly planted the "murderer" idea in my mind, before the actual revelation of his deed... I... have nothing more to say

    Great work. Thank you for sharing this ^_^


  • Lonesome Dove
    February 11

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, absolutely brilliant. Your descriptions and imagery are incredible. The flow was perfect and I loved the headline ending! Fantastic!!


  • Host
    January 31

    Edit | Reply

    Genius

    This was good, i enjoy reading your work. I would say more but i all out for words. But i really liked this.


    Host


  • Kash
    January 31

    Edit | Reply
    The ending actually surprised me a bit... I actually had to read it twice to make sure I'd seen correctly! Perhaps I'm out of practice in reading between such lines, but I don't think so.

    I think the fact that you left out any truly identifying characteristics of the "model" was a stroke of genius in itself. As typical, social humans, we are prone to see the victims of this art as they are, that is to say, as people. With the vague and impersonal description you gave here, though, the subject has been dehumanized and reduced to materials; to color and contrast and shape.

    I suppose my only real criticism of the piece is that the end of it seems a mite repetitive. For example, five out of the final six paragraphs mention the newspaper: Two of those are a single line each, one of which is the headline itself. I feel that the references to the newspaper could be condensed, and am of the opinion that the story could end at "another perfect artwork, another perfect murder" with as much resolution as currently, and more impact.


  • Toxic Paradox
    November 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    From the second paragraph I figued this out - probably because I love stories lik this - you know there's something coming, so you have to figure i ou before it gets said explicitly.


  • SisterSabbay
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I paused in the midst of your piece, identifying the sense of abandonment, as the Artist absconded from his work, his perfection, his expression of style; beauty more abundant than I could contain. I gasped as I felt the sense of longing for PERFECTION, PERMANENT CLOSURE,a grievous chore of loathing the mistake that the Artist had nothing more to add. Well written and EXTREMELY well organized, a presentation that appeared challenging for readers, yet enlightening. Outstanding Piece !

    Sabbay

    beginning: 5.


  • Tiger-Lily
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know if I commented, but I clicked the feature, knowing you, and I believe I've read this before. As always, the end was brilliant! Great write.

    -HT


  • Cupcake14
    November 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You could have made this story longer you know. I mean, like you spent so much time describing his movements, and then you just put a newspaper article. Sort of spoils the end. Good story anyways.


  • WolfSpiritMia
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this earned a lot of stuff!! Nice job!!! XD But I wasn't exactly looking for this kind of story. I was looking for something that would actually have the murder being done in it. Not the murder already happened. Lol, but good job!! I really did like the story! Good luck!

    ~Mia~


  • Token Massacre silver member
    October 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Watch overusing words such as 'had' it makes what you're saying sound passive. Removing it occasionally adds more strength to what you mean. For example:

    He had been barely out of school; the model he had selected had been flawless. Rather, it had been he that proved imperfect; the implements foreign in his hands, the execution careless, the outcome dissatisfying.5

    We already know it's in the past. If you remove the second 'had' it will flow better.



    This was very well written and the flow was great. I like the way you put the story together and detailed it. You give the right amount without giving everything away. A great read!


  • Oblivion Kitty God silver member
    October 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heh. I saw this coming. It was just predictable, I think. Still, it was very well written and very interesting. I love your attention to detail and your vivid descriptions. Good job. Also, I didn't find any grammatical or spelling errors.

    Thanks for sharing!

  • Abstract Muse gold member
    October 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A wonderfully wicked tale here Blondie.
    I suspected what was happening from the clues and enjoyed seeing how you played it out. His joy of the small things in life after 'finishing a piece' and the reviews of his 'work' were amusing. What a sick puppy!

    You have a great writing style. Your phrasing and use of imagery always add to the feeling of the story, no matter the overall theme.
    Nicely done!
    Greg


  • eyeambaldman
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I thought your use of language was superb in this piece. It reminded me a bit of a Ray Bradbury short story (very well done!).

    The description of the sculptor was fabulous, just an excellent use of imagery.

    Damn, I kinda wish this piece was a bit longer, would give us a bit more depth to the story. I loved it, don't get me wrong, but I would love to see more insight into Harrison (or show us a bit of the sculptures coming to life) or how this sculptor came by this ability.

    Excellent work, blondie!


  • Valkyrie silver member
    October 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Another awesomely gruesome (gruesomely awesome?) Blondiewrite. *shivers* ooooohh...that was nicely worked. I cottoned on toward the beginning; I guess I have a feel for your style now, since it's so brilliant and I enjoy it so much. That just made it more suspenseful for me; I was curious how you'd bring about the ending, and it was really cool! Oh my, that was fantabulous. Oh so evil, he is!
    I really liked the "angel card"; what a clever idea...my only wish is that there were some tiny hint of description about how "prosperity" tied in with the exact "sculpture", as differentiated from his other works. As in, why did he choose "prosperity" as the title for this one?

    Definitely another darkly glowing fire opal in your crown of devilishly good dark tales!


  • Kirin
    September 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Excellent piece of work! Much like one of Harrrison's masterpieces. Beautiful descriptions; I felt as though I was caressing the sculpture(only before I knew it wasn't a sculpture at all lol). An unimaginable twist at the end is a feather in the cap Good Luck in the contest!!


  • GattonDweller
    September 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Good story, very good infact, but not quite what I was looking for, sorry.


  • Thorn-on-the-Rose
    August 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooohhhh, I like this!!the whole, 'Angel Killer Strikes Again: City Outraged' was absolutly brilliant!! great job. This was, wow, i'm speechless, this is just amazing, great job, great writing, I love it! Good luck in my contest. and WOW!!!! that's really all I can say.

    -Dani




  • The Ruined
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh shit
    Pardon the language but oh shit
    Wow
    THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY THRILLING
    WOW
    One more time I'm sorry for the profanity but damn
    lol

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Boondock Saint
    August 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is actually the first story i read when i entered this site last month. I may have not commented then but idk. I still think this is an amazing piece filled with imagery that i adore. Thank you for entering.


  • KayZee
    July 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Holy crap !
    That was so good... I'm in awe right now. *bows to greatness*
    I totally didn't expect the ending. I thought it was going to end happily... no lie !
    Anyways, I applaud you !


  • NosferatuWoman
    July 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Well Done!

    Your colorful descriptions would lead me to believe that you are an artist as well as a writer. You have no flaws in any of your grammar and the plot flowed along nicely. I got halfway though and thought this guy is making a masterpiece out of a corpse (I have a dark imagination). Then I thought, nah. Look at how much detail she goes into describing this: "A splash of cerulean blue clashed brilliantly with the sunset orange hibiscus." Can't be. Then I got to the ending and loved it! Great job. You definitely have a natural flow and great talent. I will try to make it to your book signing one day when you get published!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.


  • Reaver Greeters member
    July 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Yea, I really liked this one. Realized when i was reading that i had read before, but i was pleased to get to re-read it. It was just so creative and thoughtfully detailed. Carefully crafted. I simply love it.

    < previous comment...
    Bravo!!
    I enjoyed this very much. I found that i sort of 'lost time' while reading it...which is what a good story does. Thanks you for the opportunity. You're a true talent. ! (Energetic Ovation!!) ~D

    I feel exactly the same...very well done! I applaud you ten times over


    Keep writing...you're good
    Durian


  • dancindream
    June 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this was really good, interestng plot
    i had fun reading it =)
    thansk for entering


  • Melancholic Smile
    June 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great twist! Very well written story with brilliant descriptions and a superb ending. Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!


  • VioletConcept
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    O.k. I was bored at first... but I did get into it towards the end! I didn't read any errors. thank you. I had to read the ending again. Than I got it... no im not slow I just didn't get it then i got it. anywayz I loved it and i hope to see you again in some stories i read.


    -Hugh and kisses-
    Crazy Lover-Kyny-


    P.s. Thanks for entering my contest!


  • Kai Kudou
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    This was good

    This was good but sadly I can only pick three finalists, so sorry.


  • loyda
    June 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    haha wow!

    i think i have commented on this before, but i am not sure.
    just wanted to let you know this story is amazing! (only if the other 52 comments are not enough )

    good luck on all those contests!
    you are a great writer!


  • moonwriter
    June 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I know I've already commented on this, but I can't help but comment again. I've read the story twice and it was amazing both times. You're an incredibly talented author with an amazing ability to tell a story.

    I could read this story a million times over and still be entranced by the creative twist. You are an extremely talented writer and I hope you one day get published. I know I'd buy your books.

  • sassykitty
    May 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    i really like the dark twist and you really encapsulate the protagonist's mind very well by the way you describe how he fashions his 'art'. i loved this, well done.


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    May 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a twist! Here I was admiring the work of an artist as many writers and artists are and you slap me in the face with a twist ending. I love the surprise and good work. Thank you for entering and good luck in the contest.

  • Reaver Greeters member
    May 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!!

    I enjoyed this very much. I found that i sort of 'lost time' while reading it...which is what a good story does. Thanks you for the opportunity. You're a true talent. ! (Energetic Ovation!!) ~D


  • ForestFaery
    May 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    great

    yu hit a soft spot... murderers and serial killers are one of my favorite topics (my fav. person being jack the ripper) thanks for entering it.


  • Vampiric souls
    May 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is an awesomely discriptive peice! Keep up the great worK!


  • CactusJack silver member
    April 28, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow. that was awesome.
    I love your descriptions
    'a simple sunset the blazing gates to hell itself' - great imagery.
    I'm not sure I can add anymore than what was already said. The tone had almost a neurotic obsessive feel, very subtle. Almost an undertone. then the end...great twist. To be able to write a serial killer, well, is a gift in itself.
    Just out of curiosity, have you ever seen Dexter? If you like Serial killers, you'll love him.
    Back to your story, yeah it kicked ass. I'll be looking for more.

    Jack


  • jauhar
    April 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I enjoy stories with a twist. They revive the reader and carries the story along smoothly

  • moonwriter
    April 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Talk about a loop. I started out reading it thinking it was just a normal little story about an artist. I was so wrong. That was amazing. I had to reread it to figure out what hints I'd missed. So unpredictable. Definitely stands out!


  • caitlinstephanie
    March 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    keep on writing lime this!! i love it!!!! you are awesome!!!!
    xoxo
    caitlin


  • summerayne
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    After reading this disturbing and brilliant story, I am convinced that the serial killer genre is not dead yet. I had no idea that the "sculpture was anything but, until the very end. Keep up the story!

  • Attingere
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Masterfully done.
    Heheheh. No pun intended. I loved the ambiguous description of Harrison's sculpture, only to re-read it and find something diffrent entirely.
    Claps for TallBlondie!

    beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 3, characters: 4.


  • Prodigious.Mirth
    March 24, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love that song omg and it blended so well with your words.. you have done an incredible job at dispaying your imagery... I like chickens ^.^


  • checkmate-
    March 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow - this is really good! The twist at the end was unexpected, but I liked it. Good luck and keep writing!


  • Kohaku Inui
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Whoa....This story left me in awe! Very good!


  • moved.by.u
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! The unexpected twist at the end was perfect. Your detail and description was amazing. It's incredible how you thought of this. Love it!


  • MoonRoseWolf gold member
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I know I've already commented, but I'll comment again as you've changed the ending....

    I have to say, I kind of liked the other ending a little more.....it seemed to hit you with more shock value when you read the headline.....but maybe thats just me...

    Anyway, I still love the story

    ~Mirry xx

    P.S. forgot to say I really like the new title, I think its works better than the other one


  • hobo kiti
    March 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is interesting... but I'm tired... and this is puzzling me.

    "one, last, appreciative look. 11" take out the commas
    also, the ooooooooooooooooo? is that supposed to be a page break? use ---------------- or something else, because it looks wierd. if it's an exclamation of sorts, then, sorry, i'm just confused

    there could be more detail about what exactly he is doing to it.

    beautiful wording, however. keep all you have, but maybe add a little more to clarify?

    Like this "artist" guy. he's rad.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Jacki.
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Really, Wow. When I saw the title, I thought this was just going to be some sermon on the beauty of art or whatever. Amazing twist at the end!


  • seraneance
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. in the beginning, you'd think it was something random. But when you get to the bottom, the whole murder thing hit you full in the face. Very good detail I might add. Also all the metaphors too.


  • TheBlueRoad
    March 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Interesting...

    I read too fast to the end. I was like, murder??? And OH, after reading again, this serial killer, whatever, was killing a human being like it's art... INTERESTING way of murder...

    And pardon for my "curiosity kills the cat," i must ask... Why chicken? ^_^

    • TheBlueRoad
      March 20, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Wait, let me guess. Because you like to chop off their head? I once did with a live turkey a long time ago. A llllong long time ago. So gross that i vomited.

  • IrishYndina Greeters member
    March 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Well...after a twist like that, I just had to go back and read the whole thing again. It's like a completely different story, once you know the truth! I had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't quite a normal artist...I think I've caught one too many episodes of Bones while my roommate watches... *laughs* Anyways, this was excellent executed (pun intended ) and I enjoyed every word. This is perfectly crafted...you have a piece of art on your hands!


  • MysticalRayne
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is great and your wording is excellent. Thank you for the enjoyable read and best of luck in your contests


  • ElfSong
    March 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    That was extremely clever. I was absolutely certain that he was an artist. Now that I know the ending, everything else seems to take on a different meaning. He seems like a real psycho now. It was very well written and described. Certainly a great twist.


  • DeadlyTurnip
    March 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was pretty awesome. I loved the twist, and I read the story three times. Great write


  • Blackwings
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Sweeeeet! This story'd twist is awsome ^.^ I liked how you incorporated art with killing ^.^ nice job LOVE the tqwist ^.^ thanks sooooooooooooooooooo much fior entering ^.^
    ~Blackwings


  • Azzy Bear
    March 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Oh wow. Holy shi... lol
    My gosh, i definitly was NOT expecting that!
    "Angel Killer strikes again"

    Perfect exocution.
    Need I say more? Im way too dumbstruck to critique you.

  • Tiger-Lily
    March 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Just....oh! The twist at the end s beautiful! Here i was thinking he was like a famous Picasso, but, NO! Awesome wording. I couldnt tell he wasn't painting "on canvas", lol! Great flow, although at times the vivid details lost me. But thats just me.

    Beautiful piece!


  • Mephitic ID Synergy
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Heh. Execution seems to be the key word, eh? The story retains its integrity on a second reading, after knowing the 'twist', which is a testament to your scrupulousness. I love the color adjectives you used. I never before heard of "cerise," so thanks for that.

    I guess this would have to be said to be thoroughly inside of this demented person's head. It is certainly very cold of him to regard his victims as sculptures. Perhaps this is a cliche with regards to serial killer stories, but I wonder if adding a bit about his childhood wouldn't add another dimension to the story. Perhaps something about how he'd doodled as a child, but people had always reacted poorly to his work because they were narrow-minded, so he learned to practice his art in private. Something like that, perhaps.

    On a technical note, I'm not sure the first paragraph makes entire sense when you break it down. If every artist was once an amateur, then none of them could have stayed that way because we're speaking of amateurs who because artists.

    At any rate, an amusing read.

    Mik


  • Alone And Afraid
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was a nice peice of writing, and you should really continue writing. You have a natural talent, and you should definitly not give it up. *three clappy men*


  • Rita-Dawn
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this piece.  The descriptions are so intense and I could just picture every moment in my head. The twist at the end was just perfect. It was just enough to shock the reader without being gruesome. Really well done, you have a great style, keep up the great work.

  • Rockerboy
    March 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is really good

    and very descriptive too! nice job!


  • Gary Alexander silver member
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    MORE THAN WHAT MEETS THE EYE?

    I kind of thought there was something deeper to this guy's sculpted figure than mere plaster of paris. It insideously came to me (if you care)in P10...as a "tiny amount of damp cerise came away"...I don't really know why, particularly since I know so little about sculpture.
    Still, so nicely done. Your joy of it all comes through...and you do your colors (in P7) with a brightness and flair (and flare) that would do Crayola proud.
    So smoothly wrought.
    GA


  • CorvusCornix
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I personally can not give you enough praise for this piece. The imagery and sentence structure is flawless and beautiful, every line as inspiring as the next. I read it twice just to take it in - the ending was shocking and brilliant, but it was not as captivating as the skill in the writing. I felt like I was right there, staring at the artwork in awe. This really is the work of a very skilled writer, and try as I might I can not bring myself to critique it. Incredible.
    - CC


  • dark-fantasies
    March 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I liked this since it had a lot of really detailed, vivid descriptions. You described the art and craft of creating very well, and I also liked how you poured colour into your piece. I could see the story playing itself out in my mind as I read it- which is an uncommon thing. Very well desribed and written! And your ending was good too- very unexpected.


  • Seachelle
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed reading this piece for two reasons...
    1) Your word choice and description was excellent... I could easily read on.

    A favorite part of mine..

    "His gaze was drawn again to the timeless beauty portrayed in front of him; the hues of soft peachy pink complemented by sharp lines of crimson. A splash of cerulean blue clashed brilliantly with the sunset orange hibiscus. A sheet of licorice black cascaded from the higher plane, a wisp trailed artfully across the midline."

    wow... Great imagery!

    2)the ending was shocking.. No one expects that after the information you give,, Good job with this
    Ana


  • yoshi97 silver member
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I truly loved your word choice on this one. The story drew well within my mind, allowing me to see it as it progressed. I had a hint of the ending, as I expected too much setup time was being given for there not to be a twist. However, the twist derailed me, as it was written in a style differently from the rest of the piece, and it was the word choice throughout that made this one stand out.


    As a thought, how about an ending something like this:

    The next day, Harrison thumbed through the local paper, to read what his critiques would say of his new masterpiece. As always, they focused more on the subject than the art behind it. If the only knew the time, the preperation, the details.

    Six months of stalking the perfect subject, and only one a few hours given after that to capture her perfect essence. Indeed, his razor had drawn away all the ugly life from within, exposing the quiet beauty he had only dared to assume from afar.

    In the eyes of the critiques, he was a murderer, but to his own, he had brought her a beauty she had never quite captured in real life.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 2, characters: 4.

  • daftweejimmy gold member
    March 15, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I can feel a touch of Pygmalion coming on, but what a descriptive thumb nail sketch of the artist. There seems to be a symbiosis that has pulled you and your characters together; I hope you have emerged unscathed

  • Thedamned77
    March 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. You really hit me at the ending. It was definitely a shock. Beautiful, though. Really beautifully done. I was starting to get a little disinterested in the middle but you really picked it up at the end. It reminds me of Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Read it. You'd like it. Thank you for entering my contest. You definitely made me think.


    • tallblondie gold member
      March 15, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Have read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown as well as his other two 'less publizised' novels - great author.


  • whatami
    March 14, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    whoa. i didnt see the ending coming. i had to read the story over and overto understand. but it fit nicely. i like your word choices! great job, good luck fellow contestant!


  • IGWooten
    March 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent!

    Very well-written. You portray the wispy thin line between madness and creativity brilliantly. What great artist has not been obsessed with desiring love and praise? The ending---POW! loved it!
    I have only one suggestion and it's only my opinion. Change the title. It seems so trite compared to the skillful execution of the story itself. Maybe something simple like "The Sculptor" or "The Master" Like I said, only a suggestion.

    Bravo on a job well done! Keep on writing!

    Sincerely,
    IGW


  • hey incendiary
    March 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Harrison Taylor is an ick name, no offense. Your writing is good and it flows reasonably well, although it takes itself a bit seriously at times - never recommend your writing, let it recommend itself, if you catch my drift.

    I saw that twist a bit ahead of times, but that could just be the way my mind works. I thought I should mention, just for the helluvit, that I wrote a similar story by the name of "Strange is the Flock", and that could be part of the reason I understood.


  • RegalTheft
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yes, it is true that all artists (and authors) started off from somewhere, some just haven't had a chance to prevail. Luckily, there are some people in the world who appreciate works of art. This is a work of art. Beautifully detailed, simple, and easy to get a hold of. Good for you! As for the distinctive style, my signature is my trademark, and my trademark is my signature.

    --RT

  • marleedanger
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This won't be the most articulate comment but I feel the need to leave it anyway.
    That was absolutely amazing and the ending literally made me fall out of my computer chair.


  • J.P.Troy silver member
    March 9, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    As an artist, I'm torn between revulsion at the lengths Harrison would go to in order to achieve perfection in his art...and understanding for the desire which drove him there.

    "When he considered the journey he had taken to arrive at where he was today, it was really a continual study of expert artisanship."

    You have brilliantly described the blend of devotion and obsessiveness it takes to, not just CREATE Art, but to BE an Artist.

    J.P. Troy

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 5.

  • MoonRoseWolf gold member
    March 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Brilliant!

    I loveed this!
    That was a twist I did not see coming! I had hints throughout the story that it might be something to do with a person, but not that it was a victim!
    This has extremely good flow, very vivid descriptions, it was exactly what I wanted from this contest, very well done!
    Good luck in the contest!

1 - 89 of 89